Believe Me When I Say

[Neology]

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To: D3adb0lt

Subject: Believe me when I say

That I am the galaxy’s dumbest self-proclaimed clever person. Locke, I am so wretchedly sorry. I never thought … So many things. That that message would ever be sent, or that I could live to be unsettled by it later. Two days entirely out of reach, that still sounds faintly impossible even though I know it happened. I’m not dead, obviously. Though I can’t offer proof of life – just writing style, I guess? (Does this sound like me?) While exploring the bridge of the Basilisk, my suit shorted out and I took a bad knock. It was 61 hours, 4 minutes, and 28 seconds healing in a tank according to MoBiva. At least another 40 minutes sitting here, trying to figure out what the hell I could say to you after that. I don’t know how long you’ve had the news, or if you’ve spoken to anybody. We got the blackbox, though. Glitch and Terror think it’ll be readable soon. I want to send someone to negotiate a price with your side, as soon as it can be arranged. I’m still sick but I feel a little different. A little better. The pain’s not as bad as it was, I wonder if that’s going to wear off? Could be drugs from the tank. Anyway, it reminds me of … Well, a time I don’t want to get into by email. Honestly I don’t know if you’ll get this. Cutting all ties immediately, that would have probably been the smart thing. So maybe this will bounce back to me, because you’re certainly capable of that. But somehow I don’t think it will, not this fast. Or so I selfishly hope. About the other thing. It was all true, yes, weird as that may be. A farewell note was a cowardly way to raise the issue, I admit, but truth be told, I made those arrangements almost ten years ago. Shortly after I began to realize what V meant to me – something like a son – I thought I wanted it. Them. But I know it’s impossible. Takes 20 years to make a decent person and, well. You know how I am. 20 days without an incident like Fork is damn unusual. I’d have to change my whole life or I’d hate myself – and then I’d no doubt hate everyone around me for the changing. Stupid. But I definitely owe you a chance to answer back. In person, preferably. Can you forgive me? Love, Lidah

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XOXO 4LAY; OF GANGNAMSTYLE

[Rugs]

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To: Keymaster

Subject: Re: Believe me when I say

Can I forgive you? Of course I can forgive you. Lidah, if there’s one thing I’ve come to know about you through these years — hell, I even knew back when we weren’t on friendly terms — it’s that you plan for every eventuality. It’s who you are. It’s a reason why I love you. I won’t lie and say that message didn’t scare me shitless — it did. But I did get some confirmation that you weren’t dead pretty soon after the fact. That helped. A lot. But I still worried. And please, forgive me if I’ve taken longer than hoped to respond. I would never keep you waiting if I helped, but well... things are starting to kick into motion over here. I don’t know what’s coming, and but the gears of war are starting to turn for the Republic. I’m conflicted over whether that’s entirely good, after seeing what the last war did, but we have to do something. But that’s enough about that. I’m glad to read that you’re feeling better. Please do try to take it easy for at least a little bit, though, OK? Though I suppose I know now how you feel telling me not to get my ass shot up whenever I leave. ;P If there’s anything I can do to help you guys out, let me know. I’ll do what I can from this side to get a transfer set up. The Order/Republic should be pretty willing; that last cache you sent us was a damn gold mine. I hope I’ll be in touch more regularly soon, but... I’m preparing to join a deployment to Bothawui. I don’t think it will be as bad as anything during the war, but things could get pretty hot there. We’re not entirely sure what we’re gonna find when we get there. I’ll be careful. You’ve got my word. As for the last bit well... I’ve given it a lot of thought, over the past few days. I’m not sure email is the best place to discuss it but, when I see you again, we’ll talk about it, OK? Crazy, how you can face death just about every day and never think about your own mortality, right? Though a Jedi shouldn’t concern himself with such. You know how it is. But I’m thrilled to hear your alive. I know you’ll do whatever you have to to keep yourself and your people safe. If things continue going as they are, I might be there sooner, rather than later. There are turbulent times ahead. I love you, Locke P.S. I uh... think we might have to find somewhere other than Ylesia for a vacation when this is all done. .

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XOXO 4LAY; OF GANGNAMSTYLE

[Neology]

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To: D3adb0lt

Subject: Re: Re: Believe me when I say

I know. And I shouldn’t have asked that – kinda ruins the apology, in retrospect. Begging for reassurance like that was selfish. But I know. You’ve forgiven me for far worse things ... And the personal hurts have always kind of been the least of it. Or, we’ve got scars that say as much, anyway. I’m very glad that V was there for you. And still a little mad he forced his way into that job. I guess that will even out, in the end. It’s clear I can’t stop him from endangering himself anymore – if I ever really could. The plague is starting to spread in earnest on NS despite all our efforts (mostly V’s efforts honestly,) so I’ve decided to go home. I will try to restrain myself with regards to dangerous combat missions, but obviously when those creatures get here I mean to fight. I mean to call in our stray, too. Unless you don’t want me to. Be advised, I’m going to double or triple deal for this data. Stranger needs a distraction so I want to send him to negotiate the price on the blue side. (Though not in person, he’s sick too.) We’ll let it go cheap, since we need saving as much as you guys need your ships not to get blown up. Your guys should expect to cover our equipment costs and well ... I’d like the option of collaborating out here in the future, should the chance arrive. Get a head start on all the other vultures. Already know what I want from the BBEGs. 🐲 I’ve heard bad things coming out of Bothawui. That our own Mme. Wolf was out there, making things a whole lot worse than they’d otherwise be. If you run into her or her boys, don’t trust them. They are absolutely not acting under any orders from me. I'll hold you to your word. Love, Lidah

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XOXO 4LAY; OF GANGNAMSTYLE

[Rugs]

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To: Keymaster

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Believe me when I say

Don’t sweat it too much. I’ll just hold this all as a card for the next time I spill coffee on one of your fancy chairs. Maybe that’ll at least keep you from getting 150% mad Anyway, don’t be too mad at V. I know--trust me--what it’s like when the students go against what we tell them to do, but sometimes they know what’s best, even better than we do. I’ll be cold and in the ground before I ever admit that out loud to one of them, though. Especially mine. I’ll see what I can do to try to prep people on my side for dealing for that data and the aftermath of... whatever all this is. I’m not sure how much sway I’ll ultimately have, though. This is all starting to hit that critical mass point where it’s getting bigger than any of us. Though I suppose we could both agree that it crossed that line a while ago and the rest of the Galaxy is only now starting to catch up. (I love the dragon, by the way) It is concerning to see the Plague starting to take root out there on Nar Shadda--and not only because it’s my homeworld. What’s the population looking like over there these days? 90 billion? More? That could be devastating if it’s not stopped. Are you guys planning to ride it out to the end, or... Are there plans to get out in case of the worst? If there’s anything I can do to help in case y’all end up needing an emergency out, please let me know. I know the Soothesayer is still around, but even so... I’ll beware our canine associate -Locke .

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XOXO 4LAY; OF GANGNAMSTYLE

[Neology]

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To: D3adb0lt

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Believe me when I say

Very funny. Though, I think if you could be here right now, I’d let you wreck any furniture you like. That’d be an exceptionally strange price, but not so terrible to pay. In a few months no one’s gonna give a shit about antiques anyway. I know you’re right about the boys. I’d just built this idea up in my head, like I always used to do. Like, if I could do this one really big thing – and get it right – then the other stuff wouldn’t matter anymore. (It never works out that way.) Then Vance walks in and all the fear comes right back. This disease is not gentle or pretty; I didn’t even want him to see me. And much worse, risk catching it himself. That’s selfish of me, I suppose. Sulking because my stoic semi-exile got intruded upon. Well. At least it was a productive trip. Believe it or not, for once I don’t have an escape planned. I’ve had these nightmares … They’re not really important. Just, if the fleets do meet up here and it gets that bad, where could I go after? I’m sick. Even if I weren’t, everywhere else in the Galaxy I’m known as a dead war criminal. All my life but you is here. I don’t want to start over from nothing again. Obviously, I’ll keep the Soothsayer on standby. The Augur Hawk would be a better bet for slipping through unnoticed -- but it seems Solari’s gone and lost it somewhere. I don’t expect that I’d take it anyway. Unless that Summit falls through and no help is coming. In that case, you’re definitely right and I’ll make sure we’re long gone before it gets much worse. You probably wont get this until after your mission. I hope it went well, whatever it was. Love, Lidah

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XOXO 4LAY; OF GANGNAMSTYLE