The Double-edged Sword of Wisdom [Blue]

[Mara]

[...from What the Future Holds]


If you should stumble...

Xierra didn't know why, but words spoken by her master were thudding through her head as she walked around the compound on set up on the city planet of Taris by the Blades of the Jedi. Everything still looked pretty new, but that was probably due to the fact that most everything was prefab, all thrown up quickly as the base was developed. Sterile, utilitarian. And her temporary home for the present time. The Falleen Jedi was heading away from the more private areas and the office areas and going towards the more common areas of the new headquarters, looking almost entirely not like a Jedi, if not for the telltale brown robes. Her arms were pulled inside of her billowing sleeves, her hood up over her black-haired head, her greenish gray face almost hidden by the framing of the black and brown.

Her skin showed no traces of her inner thoughts, but mostly because very little of her skin was actually showing. The words had been poking at her consciousness ever since she had left Gargon and returned back to Taris. There had been a brief respite from their insistent pestering, but only to be replaced with something with an even greater persistence and fear--thoughts of what would become of her meeting with Master Took regarding the disappearance of her padawan on Rhen Var. Xierra had been so worried about what the older Jedi might say that she had momentarily forgotten the words of her old master, Master Revisc.

But now they were back again, now that she had somewhat settled her mind, and Master Took had put her at ease as best he could. The words she had thought she heard on Gargon, finally thinking Master Revisc had graced her with his billowy blue presence. At the time she hadn't been sure, though, whether she had imagined him or not, wondering if she had been meditating so deeply that she had just glanced upon a memory of an old lesson or he had had actually appeared to give her advice. It didn't matter; all she had gotten was a partial message, as the appearance of another nearby her spot in the Gargon jungles made the vision, whether real or imaginary, disappear.

For one she didn't think she had to think long and hard about the words. Obviously they were meant for her current situation with her lost padawan. That had to be the answer to the riddle; Master Revisc was always teaching her in puzzles and riddles, instead of giving her straight answers. Yes, she had known she stumbled. More like fallen into a crevasse and barely climbed out. But her master was always one to understate things at times. If she should stumble... then what? Xierra couldn't remember the rest of the teaching, if there had been one in her own padawan years.

Sighing, she kept on walking, not realizing where she was going, her thoughts still puzzling over her master's words and the hidden second meaning she knew they must also have. It would be too easy otherwise that she had thought of them at a time when she had felt as if she had stumbled, and badly, as she sat there meditating in the jungle, wondering what to do with herself and her situation.

She had been blaming herself, cutting herself down, and feeling completely rotten when she had arrived to Gargon, hoping to clear her head. The meditation had helped, but what had helped more was the arrival of Jedi, unexpectedly. They talked, and the conversations helped her see that she was foolishly putting the blame on herself. The situation still wasn't completely remedied, though, and she had had to go see Master Took about what would come next, after returning to Taris. He had given her advice but not commanded her to do anything. As was the way with the wise masters, they preferred to just guide and see what would come of the guidance, rather than pressuring a younger Jedi like Xierra.

The only thing that concerned Xierra at the moment was trying to remember the rest of her master's words... and deciding for herself what she would do next. The latter seemed the easiest for the moment, as she knew the more she pressed her memory, the more elusive her master's words would be. She looked at her surroundings then, pulling down her hood as she was feeling a bit chilled and needed the warmth of the sun to beat down on her reptilian head. Her aimless wanderings had taken her into the courtyard area that was connected to the survivors' quarters. Where those few Jedi rescued from the temple on Rhen Var and were living, those that were not in the infirmary being attended to. There had no been room where the Blades were quartered. Plus, most of the survivors were younglings, as their older Jedi, the Knights and Masters had fought vainly to save their temple.

Seeing that the courtyard was mostly empty, with only a couple of older younglings playing quietly in a corner and what looked to be a master meditating, she decided to take a seat in an isolated corner in the sun. It wasn't as if she were not allowed; though connected to the survivors' dormitories, it was still a public area. And she did not feel like going to her own room to sit there, alone with her thoughts. Xierra wanted to be out in the open where she felt like she could breathe easier. Folding her legs under her, she sat cross-legged and closed her eyes. It was time to think about what she would do with herself next... and then perhaps her master's words would come complete to her when she didn't expect it.

Remaining alone seemed the easiest option. She didn't know if she could take replacing Zorn so quickly. And she still felt a bit raw from chiding herself for what had happened to him. If that would happen again... she didn't know what she would do. Then her options would be to go on missions or do some solo training in preparation for the next battle that the Blades would participate in. Training sounded good to her; putting all her energy into something that occupying would help her stop thinking about her lost padawan and hopefully prepare her a lot more, knowing that Rhen Var was just the start of the war against the Sith.

With this decision, an uneasy calmness surrounded her. It made her feel better, but she couldn't help wonder if it was the right choice. Xierra tossed those notions away; of course it was the best path for her. Being a lone Knight was what she had always wanted, hadn't she? She shook her head a bit, her black hair fluttering around her. Time to dwell on other things, since her near future was now settled. Sucking in a calming breath, her heart slowed and she slipped into meditation, lightly probing her memories.

If you should stumble...





EDIT: Just changing the thread title...

[Blue]

Kol Larkin awoke. For a few moments he waited, staring at the ceiling without moving. When the alarm started beeping he moved his hand over and turned it off before shifting around and sitting on his bed. Although he called it a bed, he had tossed and turned on it all night, unable to fall asleep due to the soft material. Back at the Temple, he had ripped out the bedding and slept on the simple slab the bed had rested on. Too much comfort put Larkin off. Living in the soft surroundings of the Temple for over five years still had not made him accustomed to such comforts.

The room he was in was very dark, which suited him just fine. His eyes were very sensitive to light and waking up to the rays of the sun was rather painful. No-one else appeared to be around, most of the beds being empty. Reaching for his goggles, he strapped it to his head and wrapped his scarf around his face and shoulders. Even moderately warm places like the heat regulated rooms in the dormitory seemed cold to him. Back on Rhen Var, it was almost torture for him it was so cold, but he had manage to get by as he always did.

Larkin made his way out of the dorm, now wrapped up in his scarf and heavy robes. Walking around, everything seemed so quiet after the chaos of the battle. As a youngling, he did not see most of it up close, but he was not worry. Some of the others were chatting to each other nervously, but he remained silent and separated as per usual. He had been prepared to face any threat that would have come. He was no stranger to facing death after all.

Eventually, his feet led him to a courtyard. As he approached, two of his fellow younglings, about his age and playing some kind of game together, noticed his quiet steps and gave him a look as he passed. They gathered themselves and immediately left the courtyard, whispering to each other. Larkin looked around noticing that now the place was empty except for a couple of other Jedi meditating. The young man noticed that one of them had taken up position in his usual spot, a hooded one with what looked like black hair. He could not make out any other details.

Sighing to himself, he took a seat on the ground, crossing his legs and beginning to meditate. A few minutes passed when a small group of younglings made their way through the courtyard, spotting him and staring momentarily before hurrying on, muttering among themselves. Larkin paid them no mind, continuing his meditations. Let them mutter and whisper about him. When the moment of truth came, they where all close to panic and he had not even battered an eyelid. He knew that they were soft, but he had no idea that they were that unprepared for combat.

Taking another deep breath, Larkin settled down into his seat on the ground and let his mind go blank.

[Mara]

(((Hope you don't mind, I changed the thread title;
the previous wasn't feeling right to me. )))



Everything around her was calm. She had pushed away all thoughts as she meditated on her master's words. No longer trying so hard to figure them out, to remember the rest of the teaching, but just sitting there in peaceful contemplation, her mind almost completely blank, waiting for some epiphany to hit her. Xierra was hoping that if she was not thinking about it or focusing on it, the answer would find her, instead of her wasting hours going looking for it herself.

But they did not come. Instead, she found it difficult to keep her mind empty of thoughts. She didn't think this was due to the fact that she hadn't mediated all that often in the last year or so, ever since losing her master, being knighted, losing her own padawan, with missions in between. It was probably due mostly to the fact that her earlier decision wasn't resting easy with her. Which was strange since for all intents and purposes, deciding to go solo for a while should have put her at ease. There would be no padawan to teach, to keep safe. She would be free to accept even the most dangerous missions. Any battles the Blades participated in, Xierra could jump at the chance to join.

And yet... there was something poking at the back of her mind. Something was bothering her about the decision. If she didn't know any better, know that he was dead, it would have felt like Master Revisc was right there beside her. The little nudging at her head was very familiar, the same feeling she had gotten whenever in the middle-aged human's presence. But it was impossible; apart from the occasional Force vision of her old master, there could be no contact. It wasn't as if Master Revisc floated around her every hour of every day.

The sensation was rather unsettling, and Xierra found herself opening her eyes and breaking the meditation, willing the feeling to pass with the severed deep connection to the Force. She gazed upwards at the sky for a moment, feeling again the warmth of the sun. The strange moment had passed, and she was inclined to wave it off as a result of her lack of sleep and the stress of the past few days. Wishful thinking that her master was back again to help her had made him materialize invisible beside her.

Xierra uncurled her legs and stood up. It wasn't worth it; if the rest of her master's teaching would ever come to her, meditation wasn't going to help it. She'd just have to keep living her life in the manner she had decided. Eventually the words would come to her, when she least expected them. As they always seemed to do.

It was then, with out her mind occupied and focused elsewhere, that she sensed a minor disturbance in the Force. It was so slight that it could have been anything, a raptor going after a smaller bird, but it still caused her to glance around the courtyard. Xierra noticed then that the two younglings that had been there when she entered were no longer there, but instead there was a newcomer, another young one. The foul residue lingering in the Force was disturbed when another group of younglings hurried through the courtyard area, and she couldn't help but notice them looking disdainfully at the seated youngling.

She didn't understand this, and looked more carefully at the seated boy, obviously now engaging in a meditation, just as she had been earlier. He was dressed the opposite of sparingly, with even wrappings around his head and goggles covering his face. If Xierra hadn't experienced many different species in her travels with her master as a padawan, she may have reacted the same as the younglings had. The boy's dress was not unusual, when compared to the plethora of beings she had seen. Though, there seemed to be more in the other younglings' stares than just thinking the boy's clothing choice odd. Perhaps something gained before being evacuated from Rhen Var.

Feeling like a bit of an outsider herself, a Blade among the Temple refugees, a Falleen no longer on her home planet, a being covered in robes on a warm planet except her fallen hood, Xierra decided to walk nearer to the boy. She didn't want to interrupt him, yet was curious about him. First and foremost why the other younglings seemed to have been ostracizing him; as a Jedi, she wanted to try to rectify the matter if she could, knowing full well how she had been treated when first arriving to the Temple on Coruscant. Xierra hated to see conflict, especially among the young who were not yet completely jaded by the eyes of adults.

Indecisive, she stood where she was a moment longer, then walked out of the sun she had been meditating in, sufficiently warm for the moment, and started towards the meditating boy. Xierra slowly strolled through the courtyard, and made as if to examine a flowering tree nearby the seated figure. She would let him make the first move, if any, not wanted to disturb his meditation.

[Blue]

While most other Jedi meditated with their eyes close, Larkin was not one of them. The idea of shutting off one of his senses made no sense to him, as it left him open for an attack should one come at that particular moment. Since he always wore his protective goggles however, people had never known about this trait of his and many times he saw his so-called peers giggling at him and whispering to each other while sending furtive glances in his direction.

So, as it was, he always kept his eyes open. This rarely detracted from his ability to concentrate on meditating. After all, when he was back on the Sandbox one had to keep one's senses about them at all times. Especially when one was staring down a scope all day, waiting for a Raider to appear so that you could take the shot. Larkin was well used to blocking out other distractions while remaining aware of his distractions. If he was not, he would of been dead instead of sitting here right now.

The youngling cast his mind back to the battle at the Temple. He had wanted to assist, fight back against the forces destroying his home, but before he had even had a chance to he was ushered away to safety with the others. Larkin had to endure being in that cramped escape shuttle with a bunch of his non-stop chattering nervous peers when he had wanted to be back on Rhen Var, fighting. Th boy knew that there was some credence in a tactical withdraw, he had used hit and run tactics all the time back on his original home, but he was not even give the chance to defend himself. Instead, others had to do it for him and that burned him far more than the wicked mutterings of the other younglings ever could.

With an internal sigh, he knew that he had to put that feeling aside. To be able to be ready for whatever else was thrown at him, he could not have these thoughts rattling around in his mind. It effected his ability to concentrate, proving itself right now since he could not properly clear his mind. Settling further down on the floor where he was sat Larkin tried to clear his mind again, staring at a small piece of the wall opposite him until everything else around it seemed to blur and become distorted.

Just when he had finally managed to complete this exercise, the youngling felt something on the periphery of his senses that brought him sharply back to himself. He knew this feeling well, not a disturbance in the Force as a Jedi youngling would be expected to feel. Larkin made a point never to over rely on the Force, one of the many points that had earned him the ire and ridicule of his fellow trainees. No, it was a natural sense, perhaps amplified by his connection to the Force.

He was being watched.

Larkin turned his head to see what the source of this feeling was and saw the Jedi that had been sitting in his spot making their way towards him, casually admiring the tree close to where he was meditating. He observed the figure more closely through the darkened lenses of his goggles and saw that it was a female Falleen, a species that he had not encountered before. The youngling knew that it had been her that had been watching him and waited for her to get closer before saying anything.

"Is there something that you require, master?", Larkin asked, his voice so quiet that it was almost a whisper and rather hoarse sounding. Not used to talking, the youngling's throat became sore if he spoke to loudly or too often. There was a certain suspicious quality to his tone that inferred that even here, with his people around him, he held everyone as a potential threat. The youngling waited for a reply, his goggled eyes remaining fixed on the Jedi.

[Mara]

Not a being to typically stand around and smell the Alderaanian roses, as it were, Xierra was actually enjoying herself. The pleasant aroma radiating out of the blossoms she was pretending to study had given way to an actual fascination. She felt it had to be some kind of reaction of pheramones, her own and those of the plant; she was far from what some humans would call 'girly.' And yet, the dark red petals with the bright purple stamens against the backdrop of the dark green almost black leaves really was calming. Feeling no disturbance in the Force, the Falleen didn't worry about it, letting her skin's tint go from its normal greenish-gray hue to something lighter and brighter, tinged with pink. For a moment it was if all her troubles had disappeared, leaving her with a blissfully worry-free mind.

With one more deep breath, she allowed herself to pull away from the flowers, almost feeling a bit empty at the loss of the warm feelings being so close to them had brought her. And then all the thoughts from a few minutes before rushed back; the reason she was in this courtyard in the first place. And the reason she had gone to this tree to casually look over the flowering tree. Xierra had wanted to talk to this youngling when he released his meditation, if only to discover more about him and figure out why he seemed to be snubbed by the other younglings... and then fix the situation if she could. It wasn't something that was generally in her personal job description, but lots of things seemed to be changing for her lately. Plus, it would give her something to focus on besides setting in motion her plan to go solo forever.

Xierra had been about to look around for another place to stand and admire foliage when the boy brought himself to her attention. It was almost a Force thing; just when she had been thinking about him, he spoke to her. She couldn't help but let a little smile come across her features, tarrying a moment longer by the tree before turning to look at the boy. Despite no longer being in the flowers' trance, she allowed her skin to remain in its pleasurable hue, liking the feeling it gave her and perhaps hoping it would put this other at ease.

She decided to pose her own question, before offering up a direct answer. "Isn't this tree beautiful? I find its presence quite intoxicating." Throwing up a clawed hand, she indicated the tree she had been studying and glanced back at the beautiful flowers. Though Xierra had thought she figured out why the tree had such an effect, it was a good enough conversation starter and ice breaker. She didn't feel right going right into asking the boy about his problem and the other younglings' attitude towards him. Besides, Jedi were allowed to be cryptic, yes? Master Revisc sure was, and perhaps some of his nature had rubbed off on her in the ten-plus years they had been together.

[Blue]

Larkin watched the stranger observe the tree, her skin changing colour as she did so. An odd reaction but not the oddest thing that he had seen. Whatever it was, the stranger seemed more at ease than before for it. The youngling wondered what brought this about the older Jedi.

In true Jedi fashion, the Falleen answered his question with her own question. Since joining the Temple at five, this trait had always annoyed the young boy. Why could these people never just give a straight answer? His question had been simple enough, had it not?

But, as with all things, he had grown accustomed to it and it no longer bothered him as much as it used to. Still, the question had been one that made him raise his eyebrow at the older Jedi. He looked up at the flora that she had been admiring and did not feel what she had described. In his own way, he listed what the tree meant to him in his head. Shade, a potential source of food should it bear any fruit, raw material to build more effective shelter. Useful, sure. But how was it beautiful?

Perhaps it was this aspect of his nature that made it impossible to fit in with his peers? Had his mind's ability to perceive the universe's beauty been stunted during his time in the Sandbox, traded in for his pragmatical attitude? Whatever the case was, where this Jedi saw intoxicating beauty, Larkin saw only a tree. Where the other younglings saw death, he saw survival. His mind wandered back to the day of the Temple attack.

The other younglings and himself where being herded from their sleeping quarters and pushed along the route to the escape shuttle. Most of the boys and girls were chattering amongst themselves in fearful tones, wincing at ever shot and explosion. Larkin walked a short distance away from them. Passing a window, he managed to slip away and take a look outside. The young boy saw flames and laser fire dashing back and forth, as well as the occasional lightsaber blade flash into view.

Noticing that they were one short, the Jedi escorting them looked around and spotted him quickly. Before they could stop them, the other younglings joined him at the windows, looking down at the battle. One, a twi'lek girl, started to cry. "They're all dying down there", she said as she wept.

Larkin did not turn to her, but replied in a mild whisper, "Survive or die. That's they way life is. Best get used to it now while you still can", before making his way back to the Jedi ushering them away. He could hear their angry whispering at his apparent uncaring attitude towards those who were dying. All of these younglings were still too soft, he had thought. Nothing new there...

Realising that some time had past since the Falleen Jedi had asked her question, Larkin gave his reply. "It is... a tree", he uttered, his quiet voice confused at her description of the flora.

[Mara]

As she had assumed, the youngling seemed to be taken aback at her response of a question to his question, not really answering his inquiry. There would be time enough for her to explain her motives, but for now, it was best to keep the conversation light. She didn't want this boy to feel threatened or embarrassed that she had noticed the snub of the other younglings. Or for him to deny any help. Xierra wasn't sure how she would actually remedy the situation, but perhaps a solution would come to her. For now, though, they could just talk, gradually getting into a more important subject. Sometimes just talking through one's problems helped more than any physical solution.

The residual energy of the flower and merging of their two pheromones was definitely having a strange effect on her mood at the moment. It was odd, Xierra thought, but not entirely something that she couldn't relish. It was nice in a way. All the feelings of Rhen Var and its aftermath didn't seem so bad. Her sadness at having resolved to be alone forever, never taking another padawan, had retreated to the back of her mind. She felt, well, at peace with her decision, her life, her world. While the galaxy was warring around her, Xierra felt... good. For the first time in a long time she was content with her circumstances. Only time would tell whether these feelings would stay or only were being masked by the beautiful large flower.

She watched as the boy looked up at the flower, no doubt trying to figure out an answer to her question, and wondering how cryptic the Falleen was actually trying to be, what kind of response he would give. Xierra was curious whether he would get philosophical on her, or if he would merely given a simple answer. Obviously with all his lessons and classes he would be used to the former, looking for a deeper meaning. But she was not an instructor and did not expect a certain reply. She was merely making conversation, hoping to calm him before delving into the matter at hand.

But when he did respond, Xierra was actually surprised, the reaction showing in her scaled face momentarily before she got a grip on herself. Did this boy not see any beauty in this courtyard, or anywhere, for that matter? Yes, it was a tree, but there were so many more aspects of it that one could dwell on. Xierra could even imagine her master giving a lecture on it for an hour or two, leaving her bored and even more confused than when she started. Perhaps she should try another tactic.

Coming closer, she lowered herself to the ground to sit by the boy, no longer keeping up a front of bliss and allowing her skin to return to its natural tones. She folded up her legs across from him and gazed into his goggles--something that seemed odd to her but nothing that pertained to the current moment--before speaking again. Xierra nodded. "Yes. But what else do you see? What do you feel inside when you look at it?" Again, she was curious to find out why there seemed to be a cloud over this boy's head, and she had a feeling it hadn't all to do with the other younglings who had rushed through the courtyard earlier. This boy was a puzzle. But she had time, lots of time now.

[Blue]

Larkin's frown deepened in confusion when the Jedi sat across from him and asked him what else he saw, and what he felt. The young boy found the notion of feeling anything for a tree a rather curious one. Cocking his head slightly at the question, he turned around again to look at the tree to see if anything happened. But when nothing changed, he looked at the Falleen once more, his frown still very firmly in place.

Was this some form of test perhaps? Had his teachers decided to attempt a different way to pry into his mind and 'figure him out'? It would not have been the first time this had happened. Many of the other Jedi have tried to engage him conversations of beauty or philosophy, only to be taken aback by his blunt and literal mindset. Some had pushed harder than others, but all had eventually given up.

Larkin had no clue why they bothered. The questions they asked made little to no sense to him. What do you think of this? What does that make you feel? More often than not they pointed out the most strangest of things. The sun setting, an ice covered expanse and now a tree. These things just... were. Light made colours. Ice covered over landscapes, making them dangerous. But still they asked, trying to get him to see something else. But no matter how hard he looked, he still only saw a sunset or ice or a tree.

Some believed that his time outside the Temple had scarred him badly, others thought that he was just simple. Some were of the opinion that he truly had no feelings at all, something that had been overheard by one of his peers and causing a lot of murmurs and whispering, although this was nothing new. Unable to answer the question the Falleen women had posed to him, he still tried to give a reply, using the thoughts that had passed through his head previously. Perhaps she will have a point at the end of all this, he thought.

"Shade. A potential source of food, should it bear any fruit. Raw material, either to build a fire or in the effort of constructing a building. It is a tree", said Larkin quietly, the tone of mild confusion still evident in his voice. He could not think how else to answer. The others had often asked him how he felt about various things and to her he gave the same reply in the same mild, whispering voice, his blank face still slightly creased with a frown.

"I feel nothing. Nothing at all".

[Mara]

Xierra felt confusion emanating through the boy's Force presence. It was odd to her. She had felt confusion before, yes, from many beings, but not in this kind of situation. Her master and her teachers at the Temple before him had pounded such notions into her again and again. What was a Jedi if he could not feel or sense anything? It was then that she wondered, doubled with her earlier hunch about him, if there was some scarring in the boy's past. That despite having ties to the Force, he could not think beyond the most basic, concrete things. And for some reason, she felt a need to help him.

She waited quietly, not trying to force him to answer, as he thought to himself. Obviously he seemed to be struggling with the question. Xierra did not think it was because he wanted to make sure he got the 'correct' answer. Most of the time there was no one right solution to any question. Especially not a question such as this. Hoping to put him at ease, she smiled at him, a simple gesture hoping to mean that he could take his time and respond when ready. She would not judge his answer.

When he spoke, she nodded. Yes, one would also see shade when one looked at a tree or a large plant. Another logical, concise answer. But the Falleen knight was still hoping for him to delve deeper into his feelings. To say more than one he would see with his physical eye. To see with his inner eye, with the Force. A simple nod of acknowledgment of his response was enough for now, as she waited to hear what else he might have to add.

More basic answers came from his lips, speaking of practical things. What a tree could offer. Food. Materials. Xierra tried not to let her frustration show in her features, keeping her face neutral. She knew if the role were reversed, she would probably not be enjoying this little lesson either. Master Revisc had always been exasperating her with his mind puzzles. Teaching her without being direct, letting her come to conclusions herself while he just gave little clues and arrows to follow.

Wait, had she just thought of this conversation as a lesson? Xierra shook the notion from her mind. No, she was not teaching. She was merely trying to figure out what was troubling this youngling. In a rather roundabout way, she supposed, but she knew she was gradually making some progress. Eventually the current train of thought would wind its way to what she wanted to speak to him about. But a lesson? No... No, that was something between a master and a student, not a lone knight and a strange youngling. Perhaps she had better get to the point more quickly.

Disappointment briefly flickered behind her black eyes as the boy mentioned that he felt nothing. This was something she could not let slide, no matter what. If anything, perhaps the boy would be better for her advice and views. Not a teaching at all... just maybe a little wisdom, as much as it could pass for such from a being such as herself. "Yes. Trees can be very useful, I agree. But..." Xierra knew she had to be careful with her next words. "But trying looking at it again without your physical eyes. Wipe everything from your mind, all preconceived notions. Take a deep breath and really look at it, feel the tree." She really hoped that this time he might have something more to say than what he had already come up with. Otherwise it might be time to change tactics, or forget it altogether for the main reason she had joined him.

[Blue]

His reply had obviously not been what the Jedi had wanted to hear. She asked again that he look at the tree once more but instead of using his eyes, she wanted him to feel the tree. Presumably, the Jedi meant he sense the thing with the Force. Why he would do such a thing was beyond him. The exercise appeared totally pointless. Larkin knew that it was a tree. What could be gained from using the Force to try and sense it? Still, she was a Jedi and he a youngling, so he felt obliged to do as she asked.

Closing his eyes (though it would be impossible to tell behind the dark lenses of his goggles), Larkin tried to reach out and feel the tree using the Force. He had never been very good at this kind of exercise. It did not seem to work for him like that. For the odd youngling, the Force seemed to work in harmony with his instincts, show him which way to dive, where he needed to run, when to pull the trigger. Not that he had used a rifle since his days in the Sandbox. They would not let him have one in the Temple, despite his insistence that he needed to keep all his skills sharp.

After a few unproductive moments, small beads of sweat started to form on Larkin's brow as he concentrated on trying to push the feeling through. His face contorted in strain and his hands, previously resting on his folded knees, clenched into fists. His head bowed and the lenses of his goggles flashed as a ray of sunlight peeped around the clouds. The youngling's whole body tensed up, his lips drawing back in what could have possibly have been a muted snarl. But eventually his body suddenly relaxed and Larkin gave a sigh.

"I am sorry master, whispered the youngling, wiping his forehead. "I see a tree, nothing more. I have never excelled at sensing things. Everything just comes up quite... colourless". Straightening the scarf wrapped around his shoulders and lower face, Larkin turned his head to look at the Fallen.

"It may be the reason I have not been selected for further instruction. 'Who would want a Padawan that can't even sense things properly'", he continued, the last bit done in a slightly different tone of voice, as if he was repeating something he had heard.

[Mara]

She closed her eyes as she waited for the boy to open himself up to the Force and focus on the tree and whatever feelings came to him from clearing his mind and just getting whichever emotions entered his mind first. For her, it was an easy task; it was one of her earliest lessons while a youngling, and then again as a padawan. Obviously one could look with one's eyes at an object, organic or manufactured and see what it was clearly. But through the Force, especially for organic things, there was much much more to see, to feel. To sense. Xierra felt that a Jedi's sense perception was as fundamental as anything keeping them alive. As easily as she breathed and used the Force, she could just... feel things.

And the tree, for her, was lots of things. It was beautiful. It was, as he had said, a source of food, of building material. Of shade. But these were all fairly surface things, superficial. Nothing that made it any different than a large animal or a skyscraper. Once Xierra really focused on the tree, it was all those things and more. She could feel the life welling up inside of it. She could feel the inner workings as it processed carbon dioxide. Sometimes, in her solitude, she almost thought the tree could have spoken to her through the Force, telling her its innermost thoughts. Yes, to her, it was more than just a tree. She only hoped that this youngling realized the same; certainly he had had the same lessons as she?

After some time had passed, and yet he had not spoken, Xierra opened her eyes to study the boy. She felt intense concentration and frustration in him from the Force, though she didn't need the Force to notice this. The expression on his face told her everything. He was struggling to sense the tree. To think of it as anything but a material used for practical things, and not as the beautiful creature that it actually was, full of diversity and complexities. Perhaps this was an issue not rooted entirely in his grasp of the Force, but upbringing, his worldview. Though she was brought to the Temple--as she was told later--at the young age of three, Xierra knew that some younglings came at older ages. The Falleen knight now thought it entirely possible that this boy had lived much before being brought to the Rhen Var temple. More than someone of his age should have. And she felt some sympathy for him that was overcoming her sadness at his lack of skill in this area of the Force.

When he finally spoke, her heart almost broke for him, a very un-reptilian feeling, but a very Jedi-like feeling. Unable to prepare a response, she nodded at him. She knew that every Jedi was different; each excelled in different areas, as did she. But Xierra had also thought that there were some things that were just inherent in all Jedi, gifts of the Force that worked in conjunction with each other. Obviously she was wrong; this boy had a different connection with the Force that she hadn't come across before. And whether it was something to be remedied, would have yet to be seen.

But seen by who? Xierra was frightened of the thoughts that had been coming to her since starting this conversation with the youngling about the tree. First, she had just wanted to help him with his issues with the other younglings, using the flora in the courtyard as an icebreaker. And then it had turned into more--her concern for wanting him to understand that the tree, and other lifeforms like it, were a lot more complex. They could be felt through the Force as something more than what the eye could see. All these feelings of sadness for the boy and wanting to help him--was she actually considering doing more than just pointing him to a new teacher that could help him? Was she actually considering--

Xierra's thought stayed unfinished as the youngling boy dropped a proton torpedo on her that pulled at her heart again. He was at the age where if he didn't find a master soon, he'd be sent away to the Agricorps. A "thanks for being a Jedi for a while, but you're just not quite what we're looking for" sentencing for a boy who quite clearly had potential for something, at least in her eyes. He just needed teaching and guidance. But, her teaching and guidance? What about her decision of earlier to stray from the burden of a padawan with the loss of Zorn still fresh? What was the Force thinking?

And that's when, just as suddenly as the youngling's mention of him not being selected to stay on as a master's padawan, the booming yet calm voice of her master pounded through her head, finally finishing the puzzle. If you should stumble... Pick yourself up and do it again, with double your strength, Xierra. Don't ever give up.

Looking at the youngling, not entirely sure how she had gotten to this point from when she had entered the courtyard just a few hours ago, she nodded at him, just to show that her silence did not mean she had not heard him. Maybe it was the Force, maybe it was Master Revisc, maybe it was the words of the boy himself, her own intuition or a combination of all of it, but Xierra knew her life was about to change once again. And not in the way she had ever imagined it would after returning from Rhen Var. Like another thing her old master used to say, sometimes overthinking put you worse off than just diving in with your gut and not thinking at all. Well, she was about to follow her gut right now, and her heart.

"Yes, but things can be learned... and overcome. I truly believe that." And Xierra did; when she had first come to the Order, she had been a troubled youngling, perhaps even on the path towards the dark side. But Master Revisc had seen something in her, and taken a chance. The Falleen's passion and energy had been used for good, tuned for more effective actions than had been used in her youth. Without his guidance, Xierra knew she would not be here right now as a Jedi Knight. And now she had a chance to save a youngling herself. One who needed guidance, a different kind than she had needed, but guidance all the same. She was taking a chance, but life was not living without risks as Master Revisc used to mention as well.

Holding out her hand, she added, "I'm Xierra Zalq."

[Blue]

(I apologize for the short post, I wanted to get something up today but couldn't think of what else to put)

There was silence for what seemed like a long time as the Jedi considered his words, nodding an acknowledgement that she had heard him. Larkin was not expecting much more from this conversation. It was all too familiar to the previous ones he had with other full-fledged Jedi. They stopped to chat but quickly gave up on him, deciding he was slow or simply insolent for not seeing things their way.

So it came as some surprise when the Falleen offered her hand and introduced herself with words of what sounded like encouragement. Looking at the hand for a moment, the youngling stretched out his own and clasped her's tightly in the shake. This was not a custom he was overly used to. Back on the Sandbox, handshakes were too formal and in the Temple during his training such things were not exactly commonplace. Realizing that he had not introduced himself yet he replied in his whispering voice.

"Larkin", he announced, not bothering with his given name. He was used to people using his family name. The youngling was not sure that anyone even knew his first name. Letting go of Xierra's hand, Larkin continued.

"I do not believe you came over here to just experience my lack of skill, Master Zalq", Larkin said, his tone not implying any anger but mild curiosity. He may not have much knowledge on the sentient mind, but he figured that under the recent circumstances a Jedi would not have bothered with him. They would of had more important things to attend to, such as seeing to the dead or assiting in rebuilding the Temple on Rhen Var. So the youngling deduced that Master Zalq had another motive for engaging him.

"Is there some issue you wished to discuss?"

[Mara]

(((Don't worry about the length; I tend to get needlessly long-winded. ;p)))



For a moment Xierra thought she had done the wrong thing by offering her hand, as the boy had no immediate response to it. Though she wasn't a human by any means, she had learned throughout the years that a handshake was generally a method by which they greeted each other sometimes. And despite his goggles and appearance, she had assumed this boy in front of her was a human. Perhaps she should have went with a more traditional Jedi greeting.

But then he took her green, clawed hand and shook it, and she smiled at him after they released the grasp. Maybe she had been just overthinking things. It was entirely logical that the boy, being a youngling, was just unused to higher-ranking Jedi greeting him on a level playing field. That he didn't shy away from it because of the method of greeting, but whom it came from. Xierra didn't care about formalities, though, unless she had to. If she wanted to get down to the business at hand, she needed to be friendly and not confrontational with this boy.

She nodded at him, when he gave his name. "It's very nice to meet you, Larkin." Again, she forewent any strict niceties, addressing him with the name he gave her, instead of as 'youngling Larkin' or any some such thing. Xierra didn't wonder much about the fact that he introduced himself with just one name. Humans, like many other species, sometimes only had one given name. It wasn't something she encountered really in Jedi humans, but it was not unheard of. Either that, or the youngling was not yet comfortable with displaying his full name. No matter, Xierra would worry about details later.

Xierra had to chuckle lightly at the youngling's continued response to her being there in his presence, her greenish gray skin rippling towards a brighter green-blue hue at the surprise. Indeed, she had not come over there to give him a pep talk about feeling the Force in the tree. This youngling was not entirely devoid of potential; he saw through her ruse, no matter how transparent or not it was. "Your insight serves you well in that matter." The Knight decided it was time to get down to business, first of the reason she sitting there with Larkin, and then down to the matter of her master's words and how to put them into practice.

The Falleen took a deep breath before continual on, calming her skin from the small surprise of earlier and calming her nerves. She had to do this in the right way so that Larkin didn't take offense in what might be considered her meddling in his affairs. "Indeed, I had another purpose for approaching you. I couldn't help but notice earlier when the group of younglings entered, how they treated you. Or didn't treat you. I'm curious... why do the others your age avoid you?" Xierra kept her face as neutral as possible, conveying her curiosity in the matter and a will to get to the bottom of the matter. She would let him bring up an explanation, not offering any of her own which may include things like Larkin being in trouble, his lack of self-esteem as shown in the tree exercise, or a host of things that could have turned him into an outsider. Just as she once had been.

[Blue]

Larkin watched as the Jedi chuckled at his words. He was not sure why she was laughing. He did not think he had made a joke. Perhaps she was being condescending? It seemed that was a trend in those that had passed their Trials. The change in her skin hue, however, indicated that she was genuinely amused at something, so maybe she just found what he said funny even though he had not meant it to be. Or she might be changing the skin hue on purpose to throw him off in his guesses or to put him at ease so that he would be more willing to speak openly? There were so many possibilities of deceit or manipulation that the youngling was not sure which one was more likely, if any of them where.

But the Falleen confirmed his early suspicious when she agreed that the tree talk had not been the reason that she had approached him. He waited for her to speak as her skin colour changed back to it's normal hue and she revealed her true intentions. So, there it was. She wanted to know the reason behind why the others treated him like an outsider. Why had she bothered with the roundabout questions with the tree if that was all she had wanted to know? Perhaps she thought that he would be offended if she just came out and asked? Whatever the reason, now she had asked he could finally answer a question that would not result in frustration and disappointed tongue clicks. Not that this Jedi had expressed any of that.

Reaching up to his head and brushing his hand through his dark brown hair, Larkin thought of how to begin an explanation. "The other younglings... They treat me differently because I am different", the youngling began in his hoarse, whispery voice. "Most of the others come to the Temple when they are infants and the ones that aren't are still brought in when they are very young. I was delivered to the Temple when I was almost six years old". Larkin paused for a moment before going on, remembering the shocked looks on the faces of the others when they saw a new face that was as old as he was.

"From the day I arrived, they knew I was... something else. At first, it was because of my garb. My protective lenses and thick clothing raised some question to them, but in time they learned where I had come from and the things I had done before I was found. I am still unsure how they found out. Perhaps they overheard a conversation from some older Jedi. However they discovered it matters little".

Larkin paused again, coughing slightly. He was unused to talking so long and it made his throat hurt mildly. He continued quickly. "Before, they had simply stayed out of my way. After they knew, they avoided me altogether. But I did not care. Being in their company would of dulled me anyway. I just carried on with my studies in solitude, as I had before".

While he was speaking of these events, memories kept flooding back to Larkin. Going to sit at a table and having people get up and leave because of his presence. Younglings crossing corridors just so they did not have to walk past him too closely. The mutterings, the whispers, the laughing and snickering behind his back. None of it had bothered him before. Maybe it was because he was speaking about it out loud for the first time, but for some reason it bothered him now. He felt something stir in him, something he had not felt since before he could remember. It bubbled, spreading throughout his body, searing into his mind. The youngling carried on talking, his detached tone changing slowly, becoming more tense and strained. His fists and jaw began to clench and a new frown appeared on his brow, deeper than the others he displayed before.

"They treat me differently because they are too soft. They think that just because they are learning to be Jedi, that when they go out into the world they will be invulnerable, that they will be untouchable. They have no concept, no clue, not the slightest idea about how much it takes to simply survive in this universe. They will go out into it and die because of their arrogant ignorance".

As he spoke, the scarf around his shoulders and neck began to flutter slightly, as well as the looser fabric on his clothes and some of the leaves in the tree above him, swaying and trembling as if in a breeze. But no wind was passing through the courtyard at that moment. However, as quickly as this started it stopped, with Larkin taking a deep breath and placing his hands on his knees once again and bowing his head, slowly and quietly muttering something under his breath.

"Learn the past's lessons, but feel no remorse.
Accept your pain, but show no fear.
Take what you must, but leave all else behind".

Having calmed himself down, the youngling returned his attention to the Jedi in front of him. "I apologise Master Zalq. This is a subject that seems to cause me some... irritation, but I should be able to control myself better than that. Forgive me", Larkin said, his normal detached tone back in place and a blank, expressionless mask on his face.

[Mara]

She waited quietly, sitting there across from him, for Larkin to answer her in his own time. Xierra tried to effectively portray patience to him with her body language and through the Force. Hurrying him was not something she wanted to do. Whatever was troubling him seemed to be rooted deep, and if she were to help him now--and perhaps for the next many years of his life and future--his problems needed to be unearthed now. Not completely solved perhaps, but begin to make headway to the healing process.

Though she knew she would never be able to completely relate to what he might be feeling, what he had possibly gone through in the past, Xierra also knew that her own path had not been exactly typical either. Whenever other beings looked at her, they saw a Falleen and automatically assumed she was stuck up, thinking she was better than everyone around her. Even when they saw she was a Jedi, those stereotypes never completely left. She had to work extra hard to prove herself to her peers. Perhaps not lately, but as a youngling, she had. And her issues as a youngster had not helped either. The unexplainable pranks and aggression towards others. Xierra knew she had been one of the 'problem' ones. And just as Master Tran Revisc had saw potential when none had, she felt she was being led to this Larkin.

It had definitely not been the answer to her future questions she had been planning on. She had been planning on going forth alone, building on her own skills, and adjusting to being a knight again. But now she just felt it was right, in her gut, to continue a relationship with Larkin. Xierra couldn't quite put a claw on a specific reason, just the feeling. This would be her path now. A fresh start, not to forget Zorn, but to move on with her life, not wallow in misery. Whether that was as Larkin's master, mentor, or even a friend would be up to him.

He began to speak, and Xierra listened, letting him get it all out, waiting through the pauses, to finish his piece. She didn't want to interrupt him. It would be better if he just got it all out now. When he finished, she could respond and asked questions. For now, though, she was a willing ear. Perhaps the first he had had in a long while. She'd nod here and there, to show that she was understanding and listening, but for the most part she remained motionless. Only the wind blowing lightly through her loose black hair.

Xierra processed his story as he told it, speaking of a hard life when he had arrived at the Temple, almost too old to be there to begin with. She could see how that would be hard. All the younglings his age would have been training for a year or two already; he was fresh and green, still getting used to things. He would remember his family, friends, and feel the loss. Xierra herself couldn't remember much of her parents. She had been 3 when transferred to the life of a Jedi.

Larkin appeared to have had a hard life, too, before having come to the Temple on Rhen Var. He didn't explain, but Xierra could infer it from what he spoke of. Mentioning what he had done in the past as reason why the other younglings looked down on him, adding to the difficultly of his age of arrival. Her heart went out to him, but she kept her expression and skin and pheromones neutral, not wanting to influence him in any way. She saw a broken soul in front of her, one that needed healing. One that other Jedi had tried to replace; one that she knew couldn't be swapped out for another, but supplemented with that of the Jedi teachings. Just as she had used her aggression to tap into her mastery of her fighting rods and Ataru, using it for the good of the galaxy, so would he have to use his past as a guide for his own lessons, not as something to forget and be erased.

His final words cut to her, words of frustration and anger. Xierra could understand what he was feeling, but they were not things a future Jedi should be dwelling on. Obviously they were words from his past experiences. She could not crush what he had learned before coming to the Jedi; she would just have to give him a new path, a new point of view. A hard life he might have had, but he still had a lot to learn.

About to finally response to him, she stopped, hearing him chanting something, but she couldn't quite catch it. She could have rather easily enhanced it with the Force but decided against it. Instead, she thought about what to say to him. How to put him at ease but also show him that such thoughts were best not voiced... or even thought of at all.

A nod to him after he had finished, "No apology necessary. We all feel such things at one time or another, even Jedi." She smiled at him. "However, they are not things a Jedi should dwell on. What you might take as their ignorance could just as well be your own ignorance." Xierra held up her hand briefly, signaling to let her continue, in case he had a retort. "I am not saying that the other younglings are right in how they treat you. It is an unfortunate matter but unavoidable among the young, rich or poor, Jedi or not. The strong learn to rise above it. They learn that they themselves have weaknesses, just as their peers and foes do. They learn that every being is different and unique in their own ways. But this is something that cannot be learned in solitude."

Taking a deep breath, she decide to push on. It was no use drawing it out, making Larkin wonder why she was spending so much time with him. That she might just abandon him like he thought all the other Jedi had. No, she'd take her master's advice head on and go with it, no matter what she'd think of it later. It was time to jump in with both feet without looking. Time to honor the memory of her lost padawan by not throwing away her life to depressive solitude, but to move on and help another. "These things and more, I offer to teach you, young Larkin. If you will have me as your master, you as my padawan." Now the ball was in his court; she would never be one of those Jedi who plucked a youngling and dragged him off without a choice. And she would not be hurt if he declined. Just having offered so would be enough for her.

[Blue]

The Falleen Jedi took his story in, not interrupting him or making any expression whatsoever. Larkin had made sure to keep details thin. She did not need to know the whole story behind his life before the Temple. What had happened there was the past, dead and buried in the sand of an uncharted world countless light-years away along with all his family and friends, everything he once held dear. But they were gone. He would learn from that event, but feel no remorse for surviving. The pain of the loss was hard even now, but he would not let it conquer him. He had taken what he needed from such an experience and left behind his feelings with the corpses of his loved ones. Never would he allow himself to go through such pain again.

When she finally replied, it was calmly and with an opinion that made his arm twitch involuntarily and his eyes flash beneath the dark lenses of his goggles. His ignorance? Ignorance of what? Ignorance of their pig-headed-

Larkin took another deep breath. No, he was doing it again. It was as if talking with Master Zalq had unleashed something in him that he had not realized was there before, a burning feeling in his chest that grew every time he saw the smug, sneering faces of his peers in his mind. Why now? Never had this sensation taken him in the past. He would have to meditate on this at a later date and hopefully centre himself once more. He could not afford losing control, no Jedi could. That way led to corruption and pointless power-seeking.

But his reverie was interrupted by Master Zalq as she proposed to him the place as her Padawan learner. His eyebrows raised and even under his scarf one could see his shock. A Padawan? Him? He had never thought he would be picked, thanks to his lack of skill in sensing with the Force and his so-called 'blunted' outlook. Why would she make this kind of commitment for him? True, out of all the Jedi he had been cornered by, she was the only one who had shown any real interest or patience enough to listen to him without arguing against every word that came out of his mouth. Confused once more by the Falleen, he spoke.

"Why?" Larkin asked. To most, this would seem to be a blunt and rude way to reply to such a generous offer, especially since it would save him from the Agricorps. But all he could feel was confusion. "You are the only Jedi that has actually listened to what I have said instead of trying to force your opinions on me. So why would you take me on as your Padawan when you have seen my lack of skill and heard my own viewpoint? Does it not bother you?"

[Mara]

Xierra comforted herself with the Force, pulling it around her like a soft blanket, as she waited for Larkin's response to her proposition. It was obviously something he could not take lightly, and so she prepared herself for a wait that would not be short. Though still keeping her face focused on his, she let part of her mind wander through the courtyard, taking in the sights nearby and the smells and sounds of the flora and fauna around them. It wasn't quite the jungles of Gargon, but it was still fairly soothing, all that life around her.

Even the not-so-soothing presence sitting in front of her couldn't quite unsettle her peacefulness. Xierra could tell that Larkin was more than a little surprised at what she had to say. She had even noticed earlier, when speaking of the irritation he had displayed towards the other younglings. Hard words, perhaps, but ones he had had to hear. He was too young to think that he would always be in the right, others always in the wrong. But she could speak on such things later, that is, if he agreed to what she had put forward.

She herself was surprised then when instead of accepting or denying her, he simply asked her why, why she wanted him as her padawan. Taken a little aback, her dark eyes widening a bit, not having quite expected this response from Larkin, Xierra remained silent a bit longer. The question, though surprising, was not entirely unwarranted. Of course the boy would be skeptical of her presence here and considering their conversation so far, he was entirely in the right to ask what he had. Any other being would probably be conflicted just as he was.

Telling him that his answer was within his question would not be the right thing. How the reason she was asking to take him on as student was because of their conversation. It did not bother her in the least. Yes, Larkin had much yet to learn, but didn't all younglings and padawans? Some just had more to overcome than others, different strengths and weaknesses. She felt potential in him that was worth getting past everything else, his lack of skill in certain areas, his past, everything. Taking on a 'safe' padawan would not be what her master would wish for her, nor she for herself.

Smiling at him, she finally spoke. "Why? Because of lots of things, including our conversation. But most importantly, and what you need to know now, because I sense potential in you, untapped. I feel it inside of me, almost a calling from the Force, as well. The future is always moving, but right now, this is where I see my path, and yours." Xierra paused, her smile fading, but a gentle look remained on her face.

And because... because you remind me of myself, years ago." She stopped there, not wishing to pressure him by asking him again whether or not he'd agree to be her learner. Xierra knew she had said her piece, for now. More details could be revealed later, if need be. But for now, she would just wait and see if he was satisfied with her short list of reasons for wanting to train him.

[Blue]

Potential. That was a word that Larkin had never heard in a conversation that involved him. 'Odd', 'insolent' and 'dangerous' were more what he had grown accustomed too. But Master Zalq said that he had potential. The more he let the thought play around in his mind, the better he felt. He was not just a lost reject, brought to the temple of the Jedi because no-one else knew what to do with him. He was not just a dangerous force, kept under watch for any sign of corruption. He had potential, potential to be... to be...

To be what? That much, he knew, nobody could tell with any degree of certainty. Using the Force to see into the possible futures was another aspect that Larkin had little interest in. Oh, he held no doubts of its usefulness on occasion but the future, as Master Zalq aptly put it, was always moving. What use were visions when the tiniest of events can change said vision into something else entirely? How many Force-Users had experienced horrible visions, only to get themselves killed trying to change them and their deaths contributing to that future? Better not to see at all if that was the result. So what would his potential be?

By this point, Larkin had sat still in silence for a good while, thinking over the things that the Jedi Knight had said. She appeared sincere in her desire to teach him. Her reasons to take him on seemed plausible as well. So the question remained, would he accept? In his head, Larkin snorted with laughter. What other choice did he have, really? If he refused he would be shipped off to the AgriCorps, where he would waste away, tied down. No, he would of escaped before coming to that fate or died trying. He chose his own destiny, nobody else. The Force formed the future around his decisions, as it did for everyone else. Besides, Master Zalq seemed... different to the others that had spoken with him.

Reaching his decision Larkin turned his head towards the Falleen Jedi, the dark lenses of his goggles flashing in the light that played around the courtyard.

"I accept your proposal, Master Zalq, of becoming your Padawan learner", he whispered. Never possessing the gift of words, Larkin put his choice down in the plainest of terms. If he felt anything, his scarf and goggles hid them too well to be read on his face.

Potential. He knew of only one way of finding out what his potential would amount to.

Maybe he would finally be able to get a blaster now?

[Mara]

Whatever she had said had seemed to resonate with the boy. For he was not quick to discard her request but was quiet, lost in his thoughts. Xierra took Larkin's silence as a good sign that he was at least considering becoming her padawan. Perhaps it was only because he knew his time as a youngling was short. Perhaps some of her words had resonated with him. But whatever it was, just knowing that she wasn't going to be shot down without a second glance was good enough for her. If he considered it long and hard and still said no, Xierra could not feel bad about it. She had tried... and would have to look elsewhere for a way to live our her master's teaching and move on.

While waiting, Xierra couldn't help coming back to the last words she had said to him. That one of the reasons she felt it was her path to train him was because there was so much about him it was like looking into a mirror. Despite all their outward differences, she could feel something within that was not all that unlike herself at his age. Though she had not come as close to the deadline as this boy now was, Xierra had still worried about whether she would have ever made Jedi material before Master Revisc had requested to teach her. He had never mentioned the controversy in this, but she had figured it out after hearing whisperings in the Temple at the beginning of their relationship. Others worried she might be too headstrong or aggressive. That she couldn't be taken back to the beginning and retaught everything. But Tran Revisc had taken the chance. The Falleen didn't like to think about what she would have become without his training.

And somehow, though the situation was different, Larkin was reminiscent of this, her youngling years in the Temple. Only knowing him for a couple hours she felt a kinship with him in this. He, too, seemed to be feeling frustration and even anger somewhat. He, too, needed a hard but kind hand to guide him back to where he belonged. Xierra needed to be this boy's Tran Revisc, or otherwise his future would be a lot more uncertain than it currently was. That combined with her master's words coming to her about her fallen padawan plus what she was feeling through the Force and in her gut had lead her to leap in and propose this relationship to Larkin. Now all the Knight needed was an answer.

She felt a change in the boy's Force aura and focused her eyes on him, sensing he was about to speak. This would be the life-changing moment: either he would accept and they would become master and padawan or he would deny, and she would have to accept his decision graciously and move on. He spoke so softly that she almost didn't catch his response, but she smiled at him and let out the breath she didn't realize she had been she had been holding out out of nervousness. The answer from Larkin was simple and to the point, not holding anything necessary, but Xierra didn't mind. In time, he would grow more comfortable around her.

"I'm glad to hear it." Xierra uncrossed her legs and stood up, waiting for Larkin to do so as well. Now that he had accepted to be her padawan, it was best to get started as soon as they could. From speaking with him earlier, she felt she had many things to teach him, many things for him to learn and understand. But first, she would need to formally confirm him as her padawan, and that would need to be done on Coruscant. Though always a Blade, Master Took would understand that she would not be able to return directly to the next battle with a fresh padawan. And for a fresh start for the both of them, it would be better to speak somewhere other than Taris.

"Come. We have many things to prepare and pack for our departure to Coruscant. Our journey together starts now." Not wanting to draw this out any more than needed, Xierra led Larkin out of the courtyard and into the Jedi headquarters to get ready for the trip and their first of many steps together as master and apprentice. A journey that would undoubtedly lead into many uncharted paths for the both of them, but ones they would meet head on, together, trials and moments of happiness both.

If you should stumble... Pick yourself up and do it again, with double your strength, Xierra. Don't ever give up.

Her master's words rang through her head again, and now more than ever they made complete sense to her, though at first it was tough wisdom to swallow. She would indeed teach this Larkin instead of dwelling on the past and her lost padawan. Xierra would do her very best to grow this boy in the way of the Jedi and focus her entire being to this training. Any less than her best would be a failure in her mind and her master's.

Don't worry, Master... I will never give up.


[to Questions and Answers... ]




(((All righty... that's my exit. Up to you whether you want to do a finishing post or not. Otherwise, see you in the next thread, at the Temple! I'll get it up soon.)))