Shattering the Fourth Wall

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Lemur stood in the lobby of the hotel, idly chewing on the edges of a large piece of cheese as he waited for the others. Ninja, Con, and Sin had all agreed to attend. And he was glad of it. They were all members of his 'favorite people list.' But of course Jenno was still at the top of said list, to avoid his wrath.

It was a nice hotel. Obviously, otherwise he wouldn't have picked it. A few bits of art in it, the sleek modern lines looking ever-so-perfect. And right through the double doors: the beach. Sea breeze, babes. Everything was perfect at that hotel.

He stroked his beard thoughtfully as he awaited the arrivals. He was looking forward to meeting all of the characters especially. And he had to admit he had a certain desire to stare at Donnie in person. Meow.

Where the hell are these guys? It would be pretty damn awkward if their characters get here before them. But then again, I could hit on Donnie without Con laughing at me...

Lemur shook his head and went back to watching the door. People arrived when they arrived. End of story.

[The Conman]

Conman watched as the loading ramp of the airplane was lowered, exposing what looked to be an infinite blue. The roar of the wind and engines was deafening, as he looked down at the ocean, 20 000 feet below.

The jump master gave him the " OK " sign, which he returned, as the man started the countdown from 5

4...

3...

2...

1...

Conman ran, full tilt, out of the back of the aircraft, jumping at the last second and rolling onto his back to watch the 'plane bank off to the right and start climbing. He easily rolled over and brought the beach into his sights, adjusting his fall rate and direction to match his intended target...

As he looked over to his right, he saw a pair of pearl-white stretch Escalades parked near the hotel he'd been invited too. The falling, masked, insane man looked at his wrist altimeter. It read just under 14000 feet. He pushed a button, signaling the vehicles to get ready.

" Roger that, ball is in play. "

He heard over the earbudd. Falling at 120mph precluded him from responding, but that was the acknowledgement code. He could only grin, as he nosed over and dove face-first towards the ocean. As he passed through the clouds, the first of 3 alarms sounded, signaling he was at 8500 feet.

Conman, alwyas shooting to thrill, had set himself up with a base-jumping rig, able to be opened at only 2000 feet. The second alarm went off, 5000 feet. His arm instinctivly went to the ball on his back that was the release for the 'chute.

Third alarm. It was go time.

He ripped the ball off the pack, and let it go, the black parachute opening at what would appear to be the last moment, as he reefed on the controls, leveling the chute out. He was rampaging towards the shore, a mere 20 feet off the water, doing nearly 80 mph, directly towards the entrence to the Hotel.

But he wasn't done yet.

As the parachute's speed slowed, he descended, letting his right toe skim the surface as he approached the beech, eventually slowing to a stop, where he released the chute.

With a practiced precision, he landed, completley stopped, and the chute fell gracefully behind him. The Conman took off his helmet, released the straps for his harness, and took the one piece jump-suit off, revealing a perfectly-pressed white tuxedo underneath.

As the man took a step forward, the two Stretch Escalades pulled up, flanking the doors to the hotel, and a hitherto random, scantily clad woman bounded up, and handed him a martini, then kissed him on the cheek and ran away giggling.

The Conman pulled a pair of golden, mirrored, avaitor sunglasses out of his pocket and donned them, as he walked towards the hotel. All the while, the pair of Escalades disgorged their contents, which were scantily clad females of various races and colours.

After a few more strides, Doneeda caught upto him, wearing a blue, deep v neck, backless, loose fitting top and matching mini-skirt. The Conman confidently put his arm around her waist as he crossed the threshold into the hotel.

He spotted only one other person, Lmr. He nodded, removed his glasses, took his hand off of Doneeda's ass, extended it to the man , and said...

Conman...

Pimp. For. Hire.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Show off." Lemur took the proffered hand, suddenly conscious of the fact his own black tuxedo was a lot less presentable. He undid the tie and opted for the casual look, pulling out his own pair of sunglasses. "People tell me I look just like Joaquin Phoenix when I wear a suit and my shades. Its the epic beard."

He stared at Donnie now, drinking her in like a glass of water. "My god, she's even hotter than I imagined. You can go away now Con, you've delivered the girl and are no longer needed." Lemur joked.

He spoke directly to Donnie now. "Pleasure to meet you Doneeda," he said suavely as he picked up her hand and gave it a kiss in perfect old-world fashion. I know what the ladies like...

Plus, he knew messing with Con's date would provoke a smile or two.

At that moment, the doors opened again and a rather wary cream-colored Twi'lek appeared.

---

Var stood rooted in the lobby entry, summing up the rather thin crowd. By which she meant three other people. Two human men and Doneeda. One had a large beard and was kissing Donnie's hand. The other was just moving his hand off Donnie's backside.

Here we go again...

She stepped forward towards the group. She hated meeting new people, but everyone had insisted she show up.

Calmly the Sith Initiate walked up to the group and stood in silence, waiting for someone else to speak. Her green eyes flicked inquisitively between the two humans, wondering who exactly they were.

[The Conman]

The Conman grinned, as far as he was concerned she was the night's bike. He'd brought Donnie more as a party favour than anything else.

She's all yours, bro.

He said, as Var motored over.

The Conman was...interested. Her sullen demeanor at a party such as this was something he'd have to rectify. A good time was supposed to be had by all, but she seemed to have painted the party with a buzz-killing brush off the hop. The Conman was about to speak, but Doneeda beat him too it.

The Twi'lek forgot that Lmr was holding her hand, and turned to wave at Var.

Ay Var!

She said, waving. The Twi'lek turned to The Conman momentarily.

Dis, iz Da Conman. Conman, Var, Var, Conman...Choo' two gea'long grea..

Donnie said, with a devilish grin, before turning back to Lmr.

Choo...wan' ge 'me a drin'?

She asked, motioning towards the bar.

The Conman focused his gaze on Var.

So. I'm The Conman, your purveyor of good times and good fun, I surmise from my amazonian compatriot's remarks, your name is Var?

He said, trying to break the ice...get some sort of a conversation going.

[ninjabot]

The click-clack of flipflops could be heard as a short young man made his way down the twisting staircase of the hotel. He had overslept (as usual) and missed the meeting between he, lmr, and Con. He was sure lmr didn't much care as there was some Donnie chick he wanted to meet, and Conman would be busy trying to make lmr keep his hands to himself.

Ninja twidled his thumbs on his 3DS, pausing every other minute to push his glasses up his face. He was hoping to meet Sherasti and Xell quite honestly. Maybe he could help the kid calm down. He was a caricature of himself, and the more of a dork he looked like, the worse ninja looked.

As he reached the bottom of the lobby he noticed that everyone was meeting not far from where he stood. "Lmr? Con?" called out ninjabot. "Whoa! My words are blue! That's my favorite color!!"

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Absolutely delighted ma cherie." Lemur placed his arm around Donnie's waist and steered her toward the bar, quite pleased with the way things were going. Also pleased the drinks were already paid for.

Pity I don't know Huttese, but then again she doesn't know French. Hmmmm

"So tell me all about yourself Doneeda, its not every day I get to spend with such a lovely and talented lady." Lemur turned on the charm quite well.

He perked up noticing he was being called. He waved to Ninjabot and flashed him a quick thumbs up before looking back to the attractive Twi'lek at his side.

"So... ma cherie, where were we?"

---

The Sith nodded her recognition to Donnie, watching her follow off in the arms of the bearded man. Somehow she wouldn't be surprised if the younger Twi'lek went home with both of them.

Var crossed her arms and looked skeptically at the Conman in silence for a few long moments before speaking.

"Your name doesn't inspire confidence." She said rather bluntly, coating the words in the velvet of her voice. "And yes, my name is Var. I'm a Sith, and if you think I'll just be content to have my ass squeezed like Donnie then you're gravely mistaken."

The Twi'lek had a habit of starting from an especially strong footing in new situations, and the glint in her green eyes proved she was serious. She could always downgrade her hostility if he was worth talking to. And if not, then she was more than capable of getting him to leave her alone.

[ninjabot]

Ninjabot smiled after meeting lmr but stopped walking after noticing he was busy with the ladies. He didn't want to cramp his style. He flipped open his portable game and tapped away at the buttons some more while walking before bumping into someone.

"Hey, watch ou-"

Ninjabot stopped his sentence to notice that he walked into what looked like a clone of himself. "Wha? BRYAN!?" squeaked the young man as he covered his mouth with his left hand. The boy that was the spitting image of himself raised a brow in confusion. It was then that Ninjabot realized his mistake.

Oh yeah... because I made him look like me, I inadvertently made him look like my identical twin brother. SO gay...

Xell bit his lip and tilted his head a bit, the confusion growing. "Um... you look... strangely familiar sir." Ninjabot's eyes widened.

Oh crap! He's gonna read my mind! I can't let him find out who I am... he'll freak!

"Hey! What IS that?" asked Xell as he reached out at Ninjabot's video game. "Oh, this? Well, it's a game, um... here. Check it out."

Ninja left the game to Xell before sneaking away toward Lemur and Con again. "So! Where's Sherasti?" asked Ninja as he poked Lemur with an elbow.

[The Conman]

Donnie walked with Lmr towards the bar. She wasn't entirely sure what a " ma cherie" was, but from his tone it sounded like a complement. Part of her wanted to ask, but the other part was more interested in putting distance between herself and Var.

Doneeda also wasn't entirely sure why she was floating around with Lmr. He had given her a pretty decent compliment, and all things being equal, his intentions were probably identical to Con's.

It took the Twi'lek a few moments to process the question.

What did he wanna know, why did it matter, why couldn't they just get to the fun part. She sucked it up, however, smiling her smile and speaking.

Vell, I like ze lon' walks onda beech, moonli-

She stopped, giving up.

I like tah party. Where'da muzik, anda shotz...

Donnie looked over her shoulder, at Var, then back to Lmr.

An why she dress' li da...

Oh, annyou don' needa charmz, eef I wannit interested, I be zomewere else, I ga' bored wida Conman affer a few months...nee' a break, choo kno?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MEANWHILE, with Var....

The Conman smirked, then finally chuckled at her final statement.

Your name sounds like some kind of body noise. But you don't see me pointing that out to the crowd.

He said, smirking.

She's content with...well, what she's content with. I brought her as a treat for Lmr, over there. The human who's with her.

The Conman closed the gap between them slightly, motioning to where Ninja had just appeared from.

Now, He's going to be left out in the cold, all alone at the party, so why don't the two of us give Ninja some company?

Conman asked, gesturing towards Ninja.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Lemur nodded to Donnie. "Oh I know where you stand on things. But flirting is an art form. And I work hard at it."

At the comment about Var's attire Lemur perked up a little. "Well, Echani Light Armor and Sith Robes are really more her style. Could you imagine Var wearing an evening dress? She would feel sooooo awkward. It would be damn funny actually..."

He filed away a mental note to write that up later. It was a good idea.

"Oh. Sherasti. I think she's right there in the doorway now. After all, she's pretty easy to spot."

---

Var narrowed one eye quizzically at the characterization of her name. "You're bold, I'll give you that much. You win. For now."

She walked over to the other human but paused when he was joined by a second one. She looked at the two dark-skinned humans. If not for their radically different attire she wouldn't be able to tell them apart. One of them was obviously a Jedi and-

Another Jedi entered the room through the double doors. A Togruta. She was extremely tall, curvaceous every bit as much as Donnie was, and had a serene expression on her face and calm aura. Var hated her from the first minute.

"Ugh... Jedi..."

Her fingers traced the hilt of her lightsaber in case she needed it. Between the Sith robes she was wearing, the lightsaber on her belt, and the obvious fact she was a follower of the dark side meant the Jedi knew what she was as easily as she knew what they were.

Suddenly she felt unsure about meeting the two other humans. 'Ninja' wasn't a Jedi. But his seemingly identical twin was.

---

Sherasti could sense the strange force user even before she passed through the double doors into the hotel lobby. She certainly wasn't concerned for herself, but Xell was at the forefront of her thoughts. In his excitement it was entirely possible he simply didn't sense the dark sider.

Whether or not the Twi'lek Sith now staring at her had any desire to take action wasn't clear yet.

The Togruta moved to Xell's side, suddenly noticing he had apparently grown a twin.

She kept her eyes fixated on the Twi'lek even as her other senses summed up the locations and senses of the others in the room.

[Othorious]

Sin had arrived before all of them, but decided to remain in the backgroun until all of the people had arrived. Doviculous had also already arrived, but he was storlling randomly through the upper levels of the Hotel, no need for him to arrive yet until he absolutely needed. Sin wasn't dressed all formal like most of the men here, he was simply dressed in a Disturbed T-Shirt, black jeans, and black leather boots with red laces. It was his favorite attire, all that was needed was his trenchcoat, yet he had left it at home. Sin did base Doviculous' attire off of his winter stylings, and even though it was Summer, Sin didn't care if he wore most of it. He felt more comfy wearing this anyways.

Sin had neck length blonde hair, with a croppy goatee that he rarely trimmed or kept neat. He waited for awhile, sitting in a nice comfy leather chair, until most of the people he was here to meet had arrived. He slowly rose from the nice couch he had situated himself on, and strode off into the group of people, sliding up behind Donnie, and calmly saying, Hello my Dear He smiled lightly, and turned to lmr, I am Sin, and I'm charmed to meet both of you He bowed slightly, then awaited their response.

MEANWHILE D<

Doviculous finally made it down to the Lobby, looking around for anyone that looked familiar, and finally saw Donnie, but she seemed to be distracted by two human males. Doviculous looked over and saw another familiar face, Var, and another human male. Doviculous quickly strode over to them, and announced Hello Var, nice to see you again, and you....you I have yet to know, I am Doviculous stranger, and you are? He didn't know who this was, Sin probably told him awhile ago, but that didn't matter now.

[ninjabot]

Ninjabot glanced at Sherasti as she approached, acknowledging finally that she was a friggin' giant.

Christ... that's a whole lot of woman. thought Ninja as he averted his eyesight as not to be caught staring. Xell payed no attention to the others as he squinted his eyes and grimaced at the videogame that was owning him.

Ninjabot turned his attention to Sin, Donnie, Lemur and the rest. Sherasti seemed to be concerned with the Twi'lek near them, so he figured it wouldn't be a good idea to bother her.

"Well, how is everyone? I don't think I've met everyone here other than lmr and Con..."

As Ninjabot took steps to place himself next to Sin Xell began cursing the DS as he moved around with the portable gaming system ahead of him as if it were a steering wheel. "Come on, COME ON!" grunted Xell as he serpentined in between eveyone and unfortunately ran directly into the Twi'lek that Sherasti was staring daggers through.

"Uh... hey. S-sorry about that." He closed the gaming system and gulped hard as he looked up and down the person he had just run into.

[The Conman]

Donnie looked over at Sin and smiled warmly. He wasn't dressed like the rest, but she wasn't about to count it against him, if she had it her way she'd be allowed to go around in a bikini all the time, so she couldn't fault him for wanting to wear what he liked.

Before she spoke, she used her reach to grab the bartender's sleeve.

'Dree tequila shoz...sal'n'lemon

She said, before turning back to the man who had just materialized.

Helloz, Zin...Is Doneeda...

She grimmaced for a moment, looking at his shirt.

Whass'a Disturbed?

She asked, nodding to his shirt.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Back in Varland...

Conman and Var had stopped, hoping to get a chance to talk with the twins and the new Togruta that had just showed up, as well as the gigantic red thing that was now speaking to them.

It was, however, "Dat Togruta", he was interested in. From Var's remark, she was obviously a Jedi, which would probably hinder his chances of well...anything. From what he could see, he wasn't missing much, physically she looked to be of similar "proportion" to Doneeda. His imagination could fill in the rest.

On his way over, the only thing going through his mind, however, was...

gimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmiegimmie

He was brought out of his lewd, though awesome, fantasy about Donnie and the Togruta by a gigantic, real life version of what could only be described as Hellboy .

Conman crossed his arms, and stroked his chin with one hand, then looked up at the man.

I'm The Conman, Good to meet you, Doviculous...

He trailed off, however, watching Xell manage to dodge all of them...and bump head long into Var.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var shot her most poisonous glare at Xell, and her voice was quintessential 'angry Var' as she told him off.

"Watch where you're walking Jedi, and be damn careful where your eyes roam if you want to keep them in your skull. Now apologize and I might forget this ever happened."

She crossed her arms and kept up the withering eye contact.

---

Lemur chuckled slightly as Var looked steamed. Heh heh. I knew that was going to happen.

"Donnie, Sin, check out the kid. I really don't envy him right now."

Lemur took a sip of his newly arrived drink and watched the magic unfolding.

---

Sherasti noticed one of the three human males apart from Xell staring at her, and she realized why quickly. Bad enough that Xell had noticed, now she was the object of-

Handlebars? She picked up the rather dominant thought and cringed visibly. Not again...

But the Twi'lek quickly commanded her attention and she stared at her expectantly.

"Forgive the boy. He is young and sometimes his mind strays. Please don't take offense."

---

Var glared at the Togruta as well.

"I'll take offense at whatever I want you Amazonian asswipe. Keep your opinions to yourself and don't even think about meddling. This isn't your business."

The Twi'lek Sith quickly looked around the room before letting her evil glare fall on Xell again. She was damn well going to get an apology out of him.

[ninjabot]

Xell let a slight smile creep onto his face despite himself. His smoking hot master was about to get in a fight with a smoking hot Twi'lek over him! It was awesome! Ninjabot watched aswell, equally enthralled by the foreplay. They should just hop in the sack and get it over with.

"I uh... I'm s-sorry? I didn't think I could hurt you what with you having such ample cushioning up front and... Hey!" Ninjabot was aware of what was about to happen, but he was incapable of warning Xell before he was in motion.
Xell reached up to get a handfull of Var's lekku with his right hand. A forceful tug would pull the Twi'lek's head to the side lightly.

"Hey Sherasti! Remember this?" asked Xell aloud as he tugged harder. He turned his attention back to his master to see if she got the joke. Just incase she didn't, he would remind her.

"Handlebars, remember?" Xell laughed even louder before turning back to Var. Ninjabot glanced to Sherasti, then Var, then Lemur. "Somebody wanna do something please...?"

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var gasped in pain at her lekku being yanked. They were sensitive, and it hurt her. But not nearly as much as she was about to hurt the human who'd just made the mistake of grabbing her.

"Echuta koochoo dopa maskey kung!" The Sith cursed rapidly in Huttese, seething at the indignity of having her lekku yanked by some punk teenager.

She drew back her first and punched him in the face. Hard, possibly even breaking his nose. Then when he was still falling to the ground she extended her left hand sent a flurry of electrical energy cascading into his body.

It the was the first chance she'd had to use force lightning on something alive in the past year. And it felt damn good.

"You're going to regret that human. No one touches me like that. I am going to enjoy gutting you."

And no one did touch her like that. Not since she was a slave being beaten by her master. And that made her rage swell up within her.

Var's lightsaber came to life, the crimson blade flashing into existence with a hiss. But before it could land on Xell a green blade blocked it.

---

Sherasti's extended arm held her saber, which was conveniently holding back Var's about a foot from Xell's face.

Her voice was melodious, lilting, and had a calming aura to it when she spoke. "I'm sorry for that, but you had no right to attack him for it. Now deactivate your saber and let's all try to relax."

---

"He attacked me, and I'm well within my rights here you stuck-up Jedi skank."

Var hissed bitterly, torn between her conflicting desire to kill the little bastard and the realization that she had no idea what kind of ability-level the Togruta had. And she wasn't keen to find out.

Time to think outside the box...

"This is between me and your little pet, Jedi. He has a lightsaber. Let him fight his own battles."

Var glanced around the room trying to think up something as she talked.

---

"I don't see a need to fight Varulla," Sherasti said, plucking the Sith's name from the surface of her mind. None of us came here to fight. Now let me buy you a drink."

The Togruta ignored the insults calmly and stayed reasonable and warm. She had the sneaking suspicion the Twi'lek needed a hug, but also realized giving one was about equivalent to trying to wrap your arms around an angry akul and kill it with only your fangs.

---

Reluctantly Var deactivated her lightsaber. Now was the worst possible time and place for a saber duel.

"I don't drink. And if I did it certainly wouldn't be with you. Keep away from me, and if your deviated little Padawan here so much as says 'handlebars' one more time I will choke the life out of him."

She spat at Xell, literally, and returned her saber to her belt.

Should she have been embarrassed? Probably. Was she? Hell no. Var was Var. Everyone else could just deal with it.

[ninjabot]

Xell's head snapped back as a fist collided with his nose. Apparently the Twi'lek wasn't as understanding as Sherasti.

"By dose! See bunch be in by dose!" screamed Xell as he held onto his nose. It felt... misplaced. Was it broken? He didn't have time to question it as his body began to spasm uncontrollable at an electrical current. The boy let go of his bleeding nose thanks to his convulsions.

Sherasti saved the boy from his fate with her lightsaber, his hand only reaching his saber after there own had already clashed.

"...th-thanks... master..." muttered Xell as he kept his hand next to his saber incase Sherasti was incapable of calming the hatred that erupted from the Twi'lek Var.
Ninjabot let out a long sigh. "Phew... I gotta get you some more training Xell... christ. The hell was that about Lmr? She's a psycho!" whispered Ninja to Var's creator. He then looked to the rest of them there "You guys seeing this? Am I the only one not familiar with this level of crazy?"

Xell whiped the blood from his nose as he watched his master talk Var down. It was his disrespect that started this, so he would have to fix it it seemed.

"Umm... I'b dorry about da handlebars Miss Var. I was under de impression dat you people enjoyed dat sort of thing." said Xell through clenched nostrils.

The room grew silent.

Ninjabot's mouth went agape. "You people? Ohhhh ****."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Lemur chuckled slightly before whispering back to Ninja. "Thing is Ninja, the rest of us could have told you Var doesn't react well to being touched. Although really if you'd just read her posts already..."

In a very conspiring tone he provided a few more notes, being very careful to make sure Donnie couldn't hear.

"Keep in mind she used to be a slave, and her master beat her. A lot. Including yanking her lekku. And the handlebars thing? She doesn't handle sex well after getting raped. Deviated stuff makes us laugh, but its not funny to her. And-"

Lemur's jaw dropped at what Xell just said.

---

Var's jaw dropped. She was still seething, but now she was incredibly surprised. Surprised by how stupid the human was.

She got incredibly close, until she was staring him in the eye from under a foot away.

"How stupid are you on a scale of one to ten, eleven? I literally just promised to strangle you to death at the very mention of 'handlebars' and already you're mentioning it. Are you mentally incompetent, or do you want to be relieved of your pathetic existence? I give you one very simple thing to not say, and a second later you say it. Did I not make myself clear?"

Var raised her hand and started to tighten it, choking Xell with the force from a foot away.

"Two simple words and you get to live. I'll let you guess which ones."

[Othorious]

Sin liked Donnie, she was nice, couldn't speak Basic, or English as they call it in the reality, very well, but Hell, she was hot, that made up for it. Oh Disturbed? It's a band, of the music genre metal. I think it's good, it's my favorite He stared down at his shirt, he got it at a Music Mayhem Festival a few years back, and he was about to go to another in a few days, which he was overly excited about. He heard a commotion and turned around to see a human male do the most idiotic and dumbass thing anyone could do in the history of forever. He pulled Var's lekku...roughly..

Sin's jaw managed to drop, and from the corner of his eye he saw Doviculous' do the same. The room stayed silent for a second, building the sudden tention, which was soon vented through Var as she yelled something in what he suspected was Huttese, choked him, fryed him a bit with Force Lightning, and then tried to finish him with a lightsaber. As she was about to end the poor sap, another blade, emerald in color, collided with hers and stoped it short. Sin looked at the owner of the blade and discovered it was a togruta, another one of star war's hot species. Everything seemed to be fine afterwards, the kid was apologizing, Var seemed to be calming down until... the teenager said what no one should ever say...ever....EVER...

If Sin's jaw was elastic enough to smack the floor it would've, Yup, he's dead...get the body bag lmr... He chuckled a bit at the stupidity of the man, and noted Doviculous hadn't moved, either he's shocked as Sin is, or he's enjoying the pain Var is puttin Xell through.

Doviculous was enjoying the pain Xell was getting put through, but he was also surprised by how dumb this kid was. Doviculous edged a bit away from Var, he'd never seen the Twi'lek ever get this mad, and he made a big mental note to himself, Never mess with Var's Lekku....EVER........EEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR He chuckled slightly, and waited to see the events unfold.

[ninjabot]

Ninjabot nodded as Lmr spoke of Var's past. He was right. This could've been avoided if he had read up on her past before this. Then again it would've been wierd if Xell automatically knew things that he himself knew. And it'd make for less lulz.

"Poor thing. Still, Xell could make her forget allll about her past. Give him one night. If he's anything like his creator that is, feel me? Yeah? Huh?" Ninjabot began poking Lmr with his elbow again and again.

Xell began choking as he reached up to his throat with his left hand. What did he say!? It wasn't fair! He apologized and this is how she reacted? It was like she was some sort of... some sort of Dark Jedi or something!

Since speaking with his mouth wasn't possible, he reached out with the force to speak to her telepathically.

Two words? How about light...

Xell's free hand pointed his lightsaber at Var's torso without making a noise. His thumb sat on the on switch though ready to ignite it inside of her.

...saber? He said as his eyes looked down at his on target weapon, hoping she would look down and take notice. That was hopefully enough to loosen her grip. If not a lung full of searing hot energy certainly would.

"I don't know alot about Twi'leks, but apparently it hurts when you grab their handle... their lekku. For that I'm sorry. I'm also sorry that you're outnumbered. But am I sorry enough not to push this button?"

Ninjabot didn't know if Xell was becoming boisterous to impress Sherasti, or if it was his own shame and thoughts being brought to life in his character. Eitherway he rather liked that he was apologizing while standing his ground. It wasn't very Jedi like. But that's what his master is there for. Guidance and humbling. And if Sherasti didn't step in, Xell had another ally somewhere who wasn't so respectful and passive...

"Wait a minute... she's your character! Go make her stop killing mine!

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Lemur facepalmed. "Word to the wise Ninja, hitting on Var is suicide. She hasn't had sex since she was raped at six, and there's only one person she'd ever consider it with now. And he isn't in this room."

After Ninja's request Lemur chuckled slightly. "Don't worry, he's resourceful. I'm sure he'll think of something."

---

Var stared at the lightsaber in the human's hand. Echuta.

She wasn't in a position she relished, and she had every intention of getting out of it. Fortunately her focus was no longer blind anger. She had the focus needed now.

The Sith opened her hand, releasing the choke, and force-pushed the Jedi away from her. The result was that he was now further than lightsaber length away. Which was precisely her goal.

"Watch what you say to a Sith next time child, or you won't find me nearly so cooperative as today."

With a final parting glare, Var turned on her heel and headed directly to the bar. She had little interest in drinking, but it gave her something to do. And there was a first time for anything.

---

Sherasti helped Xell to his feet again and patted him on the back gently.

"I'm sorry I didn't explain the 'handlebars' comment earlier Xell, but it was awkward. I think you and I need to have a little chat about it now."

The Togruta blushed slightly, not relishing the explanation she'd have to give.

---

Lemur nodded to Ninja. "See? Everything went just fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I want to go try my most amusing pick-up lines on Doneeda. Meow."

He leaned back over to the attractive Twi'lek. "So, are you wearing a dress from space? Because your ass is out of this world girl."