Eileen Saav

[Jace]

Like I said its not built in our timeline. TOR decided to use Tython in their game and thus the 'it was built 20 years ago jank'. It hasn't been built in ours, so follow that.

[Apillis]

Just as a little heads up... <.<

Height: 6'0"
Weight:102 lbs

That weight for that height... by no exaggeration, she would be entered into the hospital for severe anorexia. A small framed 6' woman, liberally healthy weight is 135+

Now, it we're talkin' about a 5' woman, no biggie.

[danthien]

Bio

1.

Tython Temple to see the High Council about his mission and the Holocron he found.

The Temple on Tython isn't built yet, or rather it was very recently constructed in our timeline. The High Council resides at the temple on Coruscant

fixed

2.
Is this just them naming their group of friends? Cause Jedi don't really make 'clans'

I only put in the clan part because of this article on wookiepedia, so i'll leave that part in for the moment unless i absolutely can't have it

3.
You wont even start learning the other forms until you get a master, and even then you would barely know it. You can't really grasp the concept of others forms when you barely understand Shii-Cho

fixed

4.
As I mentioned in point 1

fixed

5.
At 16, you are going to be decent at Shii-cho, and maybe beginning to learn Soresu

fixed

6.
I would like to know how hold this padawan is, especially if he can use a Force lightning capable of killing someone

I had mentioned that he was one of Eileen's friends as a youngling but I added in his age to clarify

7.
Eileen just became a Knight, training a padawan usually isn't the first thing on their mind. Why did she decide to take one so soon

I hope I fixed this part enough, I said that along with being a diplomat, she really wants to be a teacher

8.
Niman has a lot of weaknesses, just like anything that is a jack of all trades. It is good at being decent in everything, but a more focused form would win over it because of their specialized nature.

I changed what I said but I though Niman's only weakness was that it had no specialization that left it open, the wookiepedia article even said it had little weakness

9.Mission to Kashyyyk
Alright I have a great deal of trouble accepting the scenario of this mission. A bunch of slavers walked onto the Wookie homeplanet and abducted a whole village? They would need an army for something like that, especially on the Wookie home turf. I say change the circumstances of the mission around.

alright, added more into it, it was a stealth thing, using leftover Czerka supplies in the Shadowlands and a dozen knock-out gas things the entire village was put to sleep resulting in their easy capture without any signs of struggle

10.

I see this alot, people thinking that they can suddenly accept the Force and it will surge into you like a tsunami and then burst outward and jank. The fact is that it just doesn't, not unless you are in very dire/traumatic circumstances, which Eileen was not. Because all she did was go *Looks at Dark Jedi, Force explosion* instead of even trying to fight him.

removed the entire mission, When I was reading the article on wookiepedia, it sounded like all you had to do to be enlightened was to truely understand the Light Side

11.

So you had a defeated opponent at the end of your lightsaber and your paragon of light decided to kill him? Uhhh just cause he doesn't accept the light doesn't mean you kill him, you arrest him. Killing was a very odd thing for Eileen to do.

I removed the mission entirely but I was thinking that at the time she was not herself, she was but a tool of the Force, and that while she would have arrested him, the Force itself wanted him dead, since the Force itself doesn't strictly belong to the Jedi or adhere to the Jedi Code

12. Yeaaaaaaaah the Jedi wouldn't really do that, change it to some some random/vague opponent.

fixed

Stats:

I don't really see any reason to give you an 8 in Telekinesis, but I need to think on it more. If possible try to explain her focus on it more in the bio

Specialized skills

No Shatterpoint
Don't see any justification for Pyschometry so get rid of it

Force enlightenment.

Don't really see a reason for Eileen to have it. What it does it push you to the highest level of a skill that you have achieved in training. It is specifically for defensive skills which come under protection, and Eileen has a 4 in that area. Makes very little sense for her to have it all, I would remove it.

Attributes

Move leadership down to 6, I don't really see any reason has to why she would have an 8

Force Attunement

I would say bring it down to 7 or 8, shes a good person but not pious enough to be a 9.

[/quote]

done

[Jace]

<Approved>

[Kella]

Inactivated due to User inactivity. Will be reactivated upon request. :3

[Jenno]

Moved to Inactive.