Adila Oberon

[Bran]

Password: Nexu
Character permission This is my first character

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Name: Adila Oberon, nicknamed ‘Lila’ by some relatives
Race: Human
Age: twenty-two years
Height: 5’3”
Weight: 114lbs

Birth place: Oberon villa, Alderaan

Appearance:

(Emilia Clarke, with brown hair)
[Other Images: One, Two]

On the rounded features of her heart-shaped head, Adila has a small, sharp nose tipped slightly upwards and almond-shaped eyes of a greenish-brown hue. In accordance to Alderaanian custom, Adila’s hair has been grown long, riveting past her shoulders in faint waves of light-brown and ending at her mid-back. Like many noble girls on her planet, she is usually seen with her hair tied up into various styles and in more relaxed environments, it is typically seen partially pulled back from the front of her head, mainly as a result of its length and thickness. Her figure is lean with rounded hips and a full chest. As a young girl, Adila had learned to carry herself with elegance and grace with the guidance of her elders and does so when in the eye of the public. When in private or in the presence of friends and family, Adila’s motions can be classified as somewhat more affectionate and less poised.

Admittedly, Adila is not fond of dressing in an excessive and extravagant manner as she does not feel it is necessary, nor does she feel comfortable in such attire given as there are others who could not afford such luxury and some of the money put into its creation could have been used to help the poor who need it more. But in understanding that she is representing her home planet to the Senate and community, Adila does wear make-up and elaborate dresses, especially on occasions where formality is expected. Otherwise, in more casual settings, she wears much simpler dresses, though some still quite elegant due to her nobility. It is usually only situations in which fitting trousers are required that Adila wears them.

Personality:

As a child of a noble birth, Adila was directed by her elders to behave refined and elegant throughout her childhood and as she matured and came to realise it was expected of her, she seemingly obediently followed their instruction. As a result of these lessons, Adila acquired the ability to be a fine actress but unlike her older sister, Adila did not use her skill in performance towards holo-dramas and films. Rather as she had always been more focused on public service, she has allowed her ability to make her appear refined when working for the Senate. But upon conversing with Adila, one can see that she is not as gentle as she may appear from far off. In fact, being very studious and dedicated to her work, Adila is sometimes a little socially inept and thus she may seem a little off-putting at first, but once getting to know her she can become well-liked. In addition, she has had a reputation in the past for being stubborn.

Adila is a fast learner as she generally picks up information quickly. She is resourceful and clever, being both very good with books and logic and though, she is usually even-tempered, she can become bossy. Adila is hard-headed and being a very idealistic and determined individual, she remains firm upon her beliefs and sometimes, she can become a little argumentative. She typically has no difficulty in expressing her disapproval and is not afraid to show her temper or sarcastic side. It is very clear that Adila values self-freedom, she displays a clear preference towards making decisions for herself and has a strong dislike towards relying on others for help as she fears that she would become a burden. But beneath her air of confidence, Adila still has her self-doubts and bouts of nervousness. Adila’s greatest fears include the lack of freedom and being separated by death from her loved ones.

Despite her stubbornness, Adila has a friendly and compassionate side. She is always there to help others, especially those who cannot defend themselves. Adila is always someone who can be counted on, she is extremely loyal and protective of her friends and loved ones. And like most Alderaanians, Adila has a place in her heart for art and literature as well as animals and the natural world. Adila’s hobbies include working, swimming, reading, walking her dog, travelling, art, learning about different cultures, cooking, ballet, watching sunsets, volunteering, and taking long walks.

Occupation: Politician
Rank: Senator of Alderaan and Alderaan sector; she works as a part of the Internal Activities Committee and the Senate Interspecies Advisory Committee. A lot of Adila’s duties revolve around trying to promote equality amongst all species as well as aiding refugees.

Skills:

• Marksmanship
  
• Negotiation
  
• Piloting
  
• Acting

Equipment:

Sporting Blaster: Adila usually keeps this with her in the event that she may require self-protection. When she has it, the blaster is hidden beneath her dress, strapped to her leg.

ME-3PO: Referred to as “Mio”, he was purchased in Coruscant. This droid is a C300 Series Protocol Droid that was programmed a masculine personality and has a shiny silver plate. Being fluent in various forms of communications, Adila relies on him as her interpreter in circumstances where there is a language barrier. Otherwise, he serves as a companion.

The Evening Star: A Personal Luxury Yacht 3000 bought by her parents and given as a gift for Adila to share with her sister Ariadne. The yacht was personalised and adorned to be visually appealing. It has a glistening silvery exterior, while the interior is lavished luxuriously and coloured to match a red afternoon sky in a picturesque manner (thus where the name “Evening Star” had come from). Unlike the rest of the ship, the visitor cabins are styled to recreate the warmth and splendour of the Alderaanian natural landscape. Similarly decorated to the visitor cabins, the large private suite was separated to create two smaller suites; both contain a study area and extensive wardrobe as well. The meditation pool is styled like a “Roman” bathhouse. It is equipped with two astromech droids.

Draug: Adila’s year old pet dog, though his specific breed is unknown and he is likely a mutt, Draug’s appearance can be compared to that of a white wolf with bright silvery blue eyes. He was given to her by her uncle.

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 4
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 5
Leadership: 7

Unarmed: 3
Melee Weapons: 1
Ranged Weapons: 6

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 0
Telepathic: 2
Body: 1
Sense: 2
Protection: 0
Healing: 1
Destruction: 0

Alignment: +7

Bio:

Adila was born the second eldest of three daughters to Julio Oberon and Inaya Candela-Oberon at the Oberon villa on Alderaan. Julio, an Alderaanian noble, was involved in the government throughout his youth, eventually joining the High Council. He was offered the possibility of becoming Senator but he declined, politely stating that he did not wish to leave his home as he feared upon becoming senator, his dedication to his work would take him too far from his family. Adila’s mother Inaya was devoted to the arts, being a well-known writer and artist. She had come from a poor family who owned a small café in Theed, Naboo. Opposed to her family’s wishes of inheriting the restaurant, Inaya had gone into art and eventually became quite successful that some of her works appeared in exhibitions across the galaxy. It was at her exhibition in Aldera, that Inaya and Julio met. Julio was aged twenty-five and Inaya was twenty-two years at the time. And upon their first meeting the two became close friends and they continued to meet. Though, the two arranged to become betrothed after a few months, their parents were originally against the arrangement due to differing social statuses. But by the time of Julio and Inaya’s marriage had taken place in Aldera two years later, they ceased their protesting. A year after their marriage, they had their first child, a son named Marcus and two years later came the birth of their first daughter Ariadne.

The following year, Adila was born on an early, rainy spring morning.

Part I

The Oberon villa was settled at the side of the mountain of Medea, giving it full view of the breath-taking Alderaanian landscape, including the forest which encased the mountain, the scenic village of Bonte Tressa which lay below at the mountain’s foot above a sparkling lake, and the vast, endless grasslands in the horizon.
As the children were so very young, they were cared for by Inaya, who had taken a break from the novel she was writing and her artwork to concentrate on raising her children. Julio, on the other hand, remained in the government and just after the birth of his second daughter Julio had joined the High Council of Alderaan. By the time, Adila had turned three and Ariadne four, her mother returned to her work as an author and artist and thus, entrusted her children in the care of several nannies. Despite their heavy schedules, Inaya and Julio ensured that they could at least spend a small amount of time with her children every night. Adila’s earliest memories were of the nights when she and her family sat on the veranda overlooking the sunset stretch across the lake until finally the sky turned dark and they could count the stars. Every holiday, her parents lessened their time at work and travelled with them to the family summer-house close-by the ocean. While on the weekends, the family ventured into the grasslands and had picnics with friends and relatives.

At the very beginning, apart from the walks along the mountain roads and the visits to the village, Adila’s life was restricted to the villa. While Marcus was much older and could wander down on his own, Adila and Ariadne were considered by Julio to be much too young to venture far without supervision. At the request of her father’s mother, tutors were provided to educate and mould Adila and her siblings into what was expected of a well-rounded and cultured individual of noble blood. Initially, Inaya was against these lessons, she found the ideas presented in the lessons too restricting for a child’s mind and feared that it would turn her children close-minded. But given her poor relationship with her mother-in-law, there was little she could do besides hope that her own life lessons she was giving her children allowed them to think liberally. Ultimately, it was clear that Adila had a preference towards the lessons her mother gave her for they allowed her to express herself freely and without constraint. But as the world of nobility and luxury was all that was true and real to Adila, she followed their instruction, though she was somewhat resilient in contrast to her brother Marcus. He was favoured by the tutors for his display as a “proper” and “obedient” young man but in truth, their lessons only inspired him to become more spoiled. But little did any of her tutors realise that Adila had no wishes of becoming the perfect noblewoman and instead out of curiosity, she dreamed of travelling the galaxy.

There were times when Inaya took small breaks from her work, she would take her children with her to volunteer and help the poor in hopes of teaching them selflessness and about the other side of life. But unfortunately, Marcus refused to accompany them. It was through community service with her mother that Adila had come to learn that she should help others. Later, helping the poor became much more personal when she visited her mother’s parents in Naboo. Adila’s relationship with them proved to be much better compared to her relationship with her father’s mother and she enjoyed helping them out with their café. Adila’s aunt, her mother’s older sister, Isis worked part-time at the bank and the café. She was the single mother of two sons, Roque and Rico. Roque was five years older than Adila and the latter was a year younger than Adila. The elder brother was jealous of Adila and her sibling’s life on Alderaan and sometimes became bitter and harsh towards them, but surprisingly, he got along with Marcus; whereas, Rico was much friendlier and got along well with Adila and her sister.

In the event to familiarise Adila and her sister with other nobles, their father arranged play-dates for them with other Alderaanian noble children. The experience did not gain Adila any close companions, rather Adila came to dislike their self-centred behaviour, one that reminded her all too much of her brother. These play-dates ended horribly, usually in fights both verbal and physical. Having remained primarily in the villa, it was not a strange occurrence when Adila and her sister would try to wander off into the village but their attempts were hardly successful, they were usually caught by the household servants and taken back into the gardens to be subjected to countless lectures on safety. Adila and Ariadne did not befriend the children in the village until they were old enough to go out without supervision. This left Adila curious about what lay beyond their home and so by the age of five, Adila’s private education at home had begun. Her parents provided her with a tutor from the village below the mountain, a young woman from a rich family named Kalila. In comparison to Adila’s tutors, Kalila was fairly patient with Adila and did not attempt to suppress her inquisitive nature. Rather she encouraged it by providing her books to read in her free time. These books captivated Adila’s curiosity and stimulated her mind, very much so that the only thing that would take her from rough-housing in the gardens was a fine novel. Julio had recognised that despite her energetic behaviour, Adila was studious and clever for her age and he came to consider that she may potentially follow his career path into politics if Marcus did not.

Part II

As months passed, Adila became attached to her tutor Kalila, respecting and looking up to her as an older sister-like figure. When Adila turned seven, Kalila had left since Adila’s father enrolled her into the Alderaan Select Academy for Young Ladies. Initially, Inaya disapproved of the enrolment believing that it would be better to admit her children into schools with a more casual environment, but Julio disagreed feeling that the Alderaan Select Academy would be best for his daughters as it was not only “safer”, but the quality of the education was beneficial if they were to one day follow his footsteps and work in the Alderaanian government. In addition to school, Adila and her siblings still had a few tutors around the Oberon villa, teaching them additional information about the government and history of the galaxy as well as a nanny who instructed them on their behaviour and manners.

Having heard unpleasant stories about the school from Ariadne, Adila was reluctant to attend at first, being both nervous about making friends and apprehensive about the workload. Adila was desperate to prove herself as an excellent student out of fear of failure and embarrassment. To alleviate her insecurity, she continued to read as many books as she could to appear as well-informed as possible. Once the school year began, Adila’s behaviour did not sit too well with some of her classmates. They found her hard to get along with since she was very vocal and competitive. And in turn, Adila found her mutually disliking them as their pompous behaviour conflicted with the image her tutors had entrenched her about how noble girls were like. Though this created tension, weeks later Adila became well-liked amongst most of her peers. It was a gradual change, instead of continuing fighting, Adila followed the advice her uncle Merle gave her and put her differences and grudges aside, becoming less disapproving of them and thus making more friends. Many came to respect her since they knew that she was always there to defend other girls who were victims of bullying as they had witnessed it on various occasions. This was how Adila met her best friend from the academy named Celia, a shy auburn-haired girl who had originally been a prime target for bullies. In addition to wearing a uniform she was not particularly fond of, Adila was taught etiquette and how to be a proper girl of noble heritage. As this was drilled into her both at home and school, Adila soon mastered the ability to appear refined.

Academically, Adila proved herself to be quite competent and as a result of her performance in school, both in and out of class, Adila’s professors recommended her to join the Legislative Youth Program, seeing that she was a natural leader and had a strong will. Though politics was not quite what Adila had in mind at her age, Julio, having believed she had the right qualities, encouraged her to do so as Marcus clearly displayed he did not want to become involved politics, regardless of his father’s wishes. It did take some convincing, but eventually Adila obliged after her mother stated that it would allow her to help others and to see and learn about other worlds. Julio was pleased when Adila and her sister joined the Youth Program, though Adila harboured a heavy fear of disappointing him. He helped provide them with help whenever they needed it and whenever possible, he brought them with him on political social events and on business trips, hoping to expose them to the universe. In the meantime Inaya tried to stress the importance of charity as she continued to bring them with her on her volunteering trips.

As she grew older, life became much more colourful for her. Her over-protective father finally allowed her to wander into the village. There, she met and befriended many of the other children who were not of noble birth. Much to Adila’s happiness, they were nothing like the prudish noble girls from the academy or the noble boys she had met on her play-dates. These children were sensible and modest as well as creative in their game ideas, but there were still times when culture differences appeared. For long hours on holidays and weekends, Adila would play with them in the countryside and during school weeks, they would stay in the village or visit each other’s homes. But as Adila frequently had large amounts of schoolwork and her Legislative Youth Program to attend, sometimes she was too busy to see her friends from the village or Celia, though she enjoyed the time spent together.

At the age of eight, Adila attended the mock Senate on Chandrila as the representative for Alderaan alongside her elder sister, through this Adila met other children who, like herself, had a passion for helping others and the experience left a heavy impression on Adila as she learned a lot from it as it caused her to consider a future path in politics. And every year until she joined the Alderaanian Apprentice Legislature, Adila attended the mock Senates, becoming more and more inclined to become a politician. Like her mother, Adila harboured a passion for the arts, involving herself in several art exhibitions at the academy. By her last year of elementary, Adila was enrolled in both gymnastics and ballet lessons in prestigious schools located in Aldera. These lessons provided Adila with a means to maintain her fitness as well as a form of healthy competition. She continued the lessons until she graduated from high school.

Time passed, Adila was slowly growing up, both in height and mind. As she learned more about herself, she came to recognise that she was slightly different from her family and not in the simple way that her personality contrasted from that of her siblings. Rather Adila came to suspect that she had a sixth sense as there were times when she could sense something was off and when events played out, she found she was right. Out of all her family members, Adila considered herself closest to her uncle Merle, who was her father’s second and youngest brother. Though he looked similar to them, he was so unlike his brothers, who were proper and well-groomed, Merle’s hair was long and pulled back and his clothes were shoddy. On some occasions, he would bring Adila on trips with him to other planets since he knew she enjoyed travelling. Like Adila, Merle was force-sensitive and had not been tested for midi-chlorians but he had been trained as a youth by a grey Jedi he had met. Adila never confided in her parents or siblings about her suspicions but had told her uncle about her “sixth sense”. That night, he privately discussed Adila’s future with her parents, hoping to test her and possibly train her; though, Julio refused angrily, clinging onto the idea that Adila would follow him into the Alderaanian government.

In her first year of middle school, Adila’s grandmother, on her father’s side, had passed away. Although, her grandmother was incredibly strict and demanding, Adila was saddened by the occurrence. After she was given time to contemplate, Adila’s pain ceased as she came to terms with her grandmother’s passing. A year later when Adila turned twelve, the Oberon family were over-joyed to have yet another child, Adila’s younger sister Cala was born. Although Cala was much younger than her, Adila was a caring older sister and even after she left to Coruscant, Adila continuously sends her sister small gifts and books to read. The same year as her sister’s birth, Adila joined the Alderaanian Apprentice Legislature.

Throughout middle school, Adila juggled with her academics and the workshops and summits she had as a part of the Apprentice Legislature. She did quite well in managing both, given that her social life had begun to dwindle as she had even less time to see Celia outside of school or her companions from the village. The times were stressful and nothing changed when she finally entered the academy’s high school since Adila still remained dedicated to both her academics and the Legislature, eventually becoming Apprentice Legislator by the age of thirteen. In her new position, Adila attended a week-long workshop situated in Coruscant and met an older boy from Dantooine who she fancied. But their friendship did not develop any further for both had to return to their home planets and were too busy to contact each other after.

By the end of Adila’s first year, Marcus had graduated from his high school with satisfactory marks. And although, he had gone into university, he hardly took it seriously and turned to partying and women, much to the dismay of his parents. Of course, Marcus was no role model for Adila. Nevertheless she did have her own share of “adventure” during her high school years. Even though she was usually busy, her friends from Bonte Tressa tried to drag her with them to Aldera or to the castle lands, where they would venture the Killik mounds or race on their speeder bikes. Being as studious as she was, Adila sometimes regretted the loss of study time but deep down she knew her friends were right when they said she took her work too seriously. At the end of high school, Adila graduated at the age of seventeen with well-earned marks as a result of her determination and effort. After graduation, she and her friends went their separate ways. Although, a fair number of them applied to the University of Alderaan, Adila hardly ever saw them as she had partaken in the university’s politics program which branched out to Coruscant.

Part III

As a young adult, Adila lived on Coruscant with her sister in her apartment at the 500 Republica building. Ariadne had graduated the year before Adila and similarly went through Alderaan University’s branch on Coruscant to pursue an acting career and it was only a year after Adila’s arrival that Adila began to witness the success of her sister’s profession. Meanwhile, Adila served as a government official. In her time as an official, Adila had a short romantic involvement with Jarrow Ripley, the older brother of Warren Ripley, a fellow official from Coruscant. One night when dining with Jarrow and Warren, Adila had chanced upon her cousin from Naboo, Roque. Though the two disliked each other, their meeting was well-mannered. They discussed their lives. Roque had married an older rich Naboo woman and lived on Coruscant, while Rico had joined the Naboo Royal Guard. After the short conversation, the cousins parted. Weeks later, Adila’s relationship with Jarrow ended as she had discovered his involvement in clandestine activities. Despite the upsetting ending, she still remained a close friend with his brother after the break-up but around a year later they became too focused in their differing career paths.

On her free time, Adila focused on donating and working with various organisations helping refugees, aiding environmental projects, and giving aid to lower-class residents of Coruscant, especially in improving education and living conditions. As well as being reliable to her superiors in her functionary work, Adila helped establish schools for the poorer Coruscanti inhabitants and raise money to improve the state of their homes and better their access to medical resources. On her holidays and breaks from university, Adila involved herself in community work on her home planet. Once she became recognised, she was commended for her work by the public and garnered publicity both in Coruscant and Alderaan. Eventually, it had come out that she was the younger sister of Ariadne Oberon, gaining both her sister and herself more positive attention by the media. News travelled to her parents, who were pleased to hear that their daughters were doing well in their occupations. Julio, in particular, was ecstatic as he believed that Adila would be an appropriate choice as a Senator as she was gaining popularity with her people for her youth and activism, especially by the age of nineteen.

By the age of twenty, Adila had finished her education with the University of Alderaan, ending her work as an official. As Adila had no plans of leaving Coruscant so soon, she stayed on the planet and continued her activism until months later, the Senator of Alderaan had left office. Suitable candidates were sought after by the Alderaanian government and since Adila was amongst those whom were suggested, she was offered the position of Senator of Alderaan. This had come to a shock to her and she had almost refused because she was slightly frightened by the prospect but as she felt public service was her calling, Adila agreed to run for the position as senator. Adila was supported for her philanthropic contributions to both Alderaan and Coruscant and months later, she was elected Senator of Alderaan.

Feeling that she was independent of Ariadne, Adila decided to move out of her sister’s flat. Rather than moving into the Senator Apartment Complex, she remained at 500 Republic but resided in a different apartment from her sister’s. As Senator, the new lifestyle was difficult to adjust to at first since Adila was not very fond of being provided security and handmaidens. But with time, she came to accept it and became close friends with her handmaidens Hebe and Hemera. Although, she did dislike how heavily she relied on her security guards to protect her and given that she had heard of the assassinations of the previous chancellors and senators, she wanted to know how to defend herself. Consequentially, she boldly requested her handmaidens instruct her on how to use a sporting blaster. They agreed due to their friendship with Adila and through these frequent lessons, it was revealed that Adila was a natural marksman. While in the Senate, Adila found that she disagreed with Chancellor Naaden’s conservative views and openly opposed decisions by the Senate she believed only further instigated conflict, stressing her liberal perspective and placing emphasis on the need for more diplomacy and co-operation.

Part IV

After two years of being the Senator of Alderaan, Adila continues her public services.

RP Sample:

The picturesque skyline of Coruscant overhead was a tranquil and dream-like sight in its glowing afternoon colours of a soft blue dappled with varying shades of yellow and orange. The enchanting scenery of the sunset, just as many prior, she watched from her veranda, ruminating the days on her home world. Her eyes gently closed as she heaved a deep sigh, although Coruscant had been her home for the past years, Adila greatly missed Alderaan. The sound of her family’s laughter echoing in the dining hall, the warmth of the Alderaanian sun, the distinct smell of the ocean’s wind, and the touch of green grass against her bare feet were now like distant memories she desperately clung to when she needed a source of comfort. The shock of becoming newly elected Senator had finally worn off, but now Adila stood, feeling the great heaviness of self-doubt and loneliness.

As moments passed, she remained at her place by the veranda, dressed in a flowing, silken dress, lightly draped around her slender body and hanging on her neck by a single, thin silvery lace. The dress itself was blue in colour but the shade darkened from light blue as it lowered until it reached a deep indigo. In just a little more than an hour, she was expected to attend an opera with a companion had made through her work as an official during her time in university and some people he knew. Although, Adila was not certain whether she truly wanted to appear or not, Adila felt that it would be best as it would distract her from her thoughts.

“My lady,” called a feminine voice from behind her in the dimly lit room, “your air taxi has arrived.” It had slightly shocked her, but it had successfully broken Adila from her thoughts. The young woman turned her neck to see her handmaiden Hebe, awaiting her by the door. Nodding, Adila followed her out of her apartment and through the passageway which led unto the skydock where the taxi awaited her. The journey from her apartment to the opera house had felt much shorter than it truly was as her attention remained transfixed upon the scenery that passed her and by the time she reached the Coruscant Opera, the sky had turned a silvery-blue and yellow lights filled the cityscape. The night air was fresh and cool. A gentle breeze brushed through her hair, which was partially pulled back by a silver headdress and the rest hung in loose ripples of brown hair.

As the taxi descended from the air, Adila watched her friend Warren Ripley draw nearer to the vehicle until finally it settled on the platform. They greeted each other and he drew out a hand to help her out. “Dressed nicely, I see,” commented Warren with a grin and with that he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Glancing up towards her friend, Adila studied him. It had been a little more than a year since she had seen him and he still had the very same mischievous smile and cheerful aura about him, almost as if nothing had changed.

“How is your brother?” Adila asked quickly, feeling as if she were choking on her own words. Her eyes flitted from Warren to the opera house ahead as they slowly made their way towards it. Admittedly, she would not have asked but as her former lover was Ripley’s brother, she only asked out of courtesy.

“Ah, my brother,” Warren grinned. There was a pause and Adila was certain from his change of face expression he had considered on lying, but eventually settled with the truth. “Unfortunately, he hasn’t changed. Still prefers visiting the lower levels every now and then…” With no more to say on his brother, he directed her towards a man and woman, who stood patiently to the side of the entrance. “Senator Oberon, may I introduce you to my fellow confidantes Aella Nyx, a Corscucanti and Carlo Mendoza, who is also from Alderaan.” Adila respectfully bowed to both Aella and Carlo with a forced smile breaking onto her lips, the title still sounded very foreign to her ears. After some polite conversation, the group entered the opera and seated themselves in their reserved booth. The performance slowly began with the orchestra’s mesmerising musical accompaniment, Adila felt herself become immersed in the visual effects and the dream-like storytelling hypnotic movements of the dancers until she was interrupted by the clearing of Carlo’s throat.

“Senator Oberon,” Carlo whispered and though slightly irked, Adila attempted to exercise a little patience and focused her eyes on him. “Warren has told me that you yourself were involved in ballet in the past.”

“Yes, I had,” she responded briskly with a nod, crystal earrings dangled from her ears, “but I hardly match the talent of these women.”

“Perhaps not, but you are much more beautiful,” there was a pause and Adila returned her gaze to the show, trying hard not to roll her eyes. Much to her discontent, the man resumed and said quietly as he leaned closer to her, “I trust you will be a valuable companion tonight with your knowledge on ballet.”

The man’s hand gently brushed her arm and Adila wrinkled her nose in irritation, she swiftly shifted in her seat to put a little distance between herself and Carlo, finding his invasion of her personal space unsettling. She felt uncertain of whether she should behave as a senator or as Adila and after brief contemplation, Adila settled with not responding, hoping that it was enough for Carlo to realise she didn’t care for his small talk or advances.

“Miss Oberon, I admit I’ve heard of your stubbornness before,” Carlo continued, “but I never knew you would be this difficult.”

“Difficult?” Adila asked perturbed as she glimpsed at Warren who was separated from her by Aella in the corner of her eye. There was a curious, concerned look on his features. Before she could add anything, a sudden wave of regret washed over her as she considered the effort Warren had put into planning the evening. Adila rose gracefully from her seat and bowed politely to her company, “If you would excuse me for just a moment.” Her feet carried her through the doorway and into the hall, her repressed anger began to show on her face and her chest throbbed. Carlo was a nuisance and she hardly refrained herself from imagining herself practicing with her blaster at home in order to alleviate herself of her irritation, but this time the target board was changed to the image of Carlo’s face.

A hand landed on her shoulder and Carlo appeared by her side, “Did I rile you up that much, Miss Oberon?”

“Touch me again and I swear if my friend Warren doesn’t snap your neck first, I will,” she snapped.

[Bran]

Finished!

I tried to be as descriptive as I could. Hope it’s not too long. Also I’m not used to stats, so I hope I did it properly. XD

[Mara]

Just a quick pass-through here, skimming things, to hopefully get a start on this. Soon I'll get to a proper review.


But a few things I did notice:
- Birthplace should include a city name. I believe Alderaan has known cities, so one can be chose, i.e. Aldera the capital or some such.
- Without reading the bio through, right now her age seems a bit young to be a senator. Yes, there is no clear protocol on how senators are selected, which age, etc. but 22 seems young to be so far advanced in a career. (Padme is and exception, not the rule).
- The ship... if it's a custom or modified of a stock, there needs to be an app for it and a link to it posted here.
- Dogs in Star Wars? Doubtful. I would suggest finding a more SW-friendly species. And I may need you to fill out an app in the Pets thread, in the Custom species area, and link to that as well, no matter what the pet is (it doesn't have to be a custom species).
- Force stats... you can only have as many as add up to 3. Right now they add up to 6. And hopefully you've given reason in the bio for why she was not trained, etc. etc.



Anyway... just a quickie there. Will be back later for a real go-over.

[Mara]

All righties.... time for a full review, and hopefully I don't repeat myself too badly from that little quickie one I did earlier.



* Name/race/age:
-- Fine. Though, depending on the bio, I might have issue with the age, regarding her occupation.

* Height/weight:
-- Fine.

* Birthplace:
-- There's quite a few cities established on Wookieepedia for Alderaan, so don't just list the villa as her birthplace. Use the city it's in/nearby as well.

* Appearance:
-- Good.

* Personality:
-- Good.

* Occupation/rank:
-- Fine.

* Skills:
-- Though an optional category and I don't usually dwell here much longer, there are a couple things I can point out. Listing marksmanship is a bit overkill, considering that is taken care of in the ranged stat below. And acting can be a bit iffy as a 'skill'.
Otherwise, this is fine.

* Equipment:
-- The blaster: is there an application for this? Please provide a link, whether it's a custom one or just a link to its stock application.
-- The droid: again, is there an application for it? Put in a link. Also, if it's important, it should be in the bio.
-- The ship: I would leave this out, as it's not really what I would consider 'equipment.' It would be better to give it its own category, such as...

Code:
Ship: The Evening Star


You can put it after equipment, before attributes.
Also, there needs to be a link to its application.
-- For the pet: you'll need to do a pet application, which is located in the Custom Species board, and again, link to it. Also, you mention her uncle gave it to her, but I don't see anything in the bio about this.

* Stats:
-- These are fine, but I would lower leadership to 6.
-- Also, unarmed and ranged need to be lowered as well. Put unarmed to 1; there's no evidence she's had training in this area. Also, ranged is a bit high for just having a few lessons at the end of the bio. Lower ranged to 2 or 3.

* Force stats:
-- These should be lowered as well. There is only one paragraph in the whole bio where you mention her sensitivity, and only then it's for her "sixth sense" about things. So you can keep the a point or two in Sense, but the rest should be back to 0, unless you show some potential for her in areas like telepathy.
And quite honestly, I'm wondering why these are here at all, since to me there doesn't seem to be any basis in the rest of her life using these skills.

* Alignment:
-- Seems a bit high for someone so young. I would go down to +3 or +4.

* Bio:
- prologue:
-- I don't think her father would have been "offered" the position of senator. I know there's not of a lot of information regarding this in the SW universe, but it is my understanding that it would be a position voted in by the general populace, not just given away. Someone might suggest to him that it might be a good idea to run for senator, though.
-- Even if her mother's family was poor, her mother herself seemed to have made a name for herself with her art and writing; wouldn't this have given her a good enough social standing for her father's family?
-- Here, you have a boy and two girls; at the beginning you mention three daughters. Just need to clarify that.
- part one:
-- "with her children every night" - I would change this to "their children," otherwise it sounds like they only belong to Inaya.
-- You say Marcus is "much older" when really he's only 3 years older. How old are the children here? I mean, if the girls are starting schooling, say around age 3 or 4, Marcus would only be about 6; is 6 old enough to be wandering around outside unsupervised?
-- Why hire Kalila? Couldn't her other tutors do the same thing?
-- A five-year-old reading a novel seems a bit of a stretch, to me.
-- I'm not really seeing how her father thinks at this young age of 5 that Adila might go into politics. Wishful thinking, perhaps?
- part two:
-- Give examples of how she didn't get along with the other girls at the academy, of her "vocal and competitive nature." Plus, this is the first time you're mentioning this about her.
-- The uncle Merle thing seems a bit random... maybe put something in the bio earlier about him?
-- Does she learn more than just etiquette at the school? Earlier you mention her trying hard to excel academically, and I can't really think that this would only be for manners training.
-- How did her teachers see she had a leadership quality?
-- How long did she attend the academy before going to the legislature youth program? How old is she now?
-- Chandrila seems a bit of a stretch for a field trip for a mock Senate. Why not just hold a local one on Alderaan? And, did their parents let the girls travel alone?
-- I'd like a bit more examples/proof of how she grows to like politics, and why, because this is an important part of life, or will be.
-- This is the first time you've mentioned this passion for art. Either develop it more or drop it. Same goes for the ballet and gymnastics. Right now they seem a bit random and unnecessary to me.
-- You mention elementary, and then high school here; I didn't think they went to regular schools, but instead to this academy for girls and then the legislative program. When did they attend these other schools?
-- I think the paragraph here about uncle Merle and the Force-sensitive stuff should be put in the bio earlier. I would think she would notice something like this earlier than, what, age 8 I think she is in this part? And then the other mention of her uncle's advice would make better sense.
-- Also, the Force-sensitive part needs to be explained more. Like I said, it should have manifested earlier, I would think. Plus, even if she hid it, other Jedi would have been able to notice her potential. Alderaan is a fairly important planet, and I would think when she was younger Jedi would have stopped by to ask to take her to the Temple. And then why she wasn't taken to be trained. I'm also a bit iffy on the part of her uncle wanting to train her, but since she isn't, I'm not too worried. Basically all I'm saying is to develop this more throughout the bio, instead of just one paragraph, if you really want her to be Force-sensitive. I need a reason why she wasn't taken to the Jedi (before age 6).
-- I'm not sure what the point is to mentioning her grandmother's passing... maybe explain more why it's important, if it is?
-- Why the Alderaanian apprentice legislature, and how is it different from the other legislative program she's in?
-- Ah, so this middle school/high school is the same as the young ladies academy? That should be explained better. Plus, it's a little confusing; the timeline seems to jump around here. Sometimes you get a little ahead of things, and then go back to further explain. Try to stay closer to chronology. It's just less confusing.
-- Wait... she's only 13 and already in high school?
-- Racing around on speeder bikes doesn't really sound like something Adila would do, from what I'm getting of her personality.
part three:
-- There's a bit of a gap here; you don't mention what she does in university at all. Or why attend one in Coruscant, instead of Alderaan. Or one affiliated with Alderaan. I would assume Coruscant would have plenty of its own political programs.
-- Is she serving as this government official during or after she's done with university? How does she get the job? Why? What kind of government official?
-- I'm not sure you what you mean here that she was offered the position of senator, because later you do say she runs for the office. Is her father just merely suggesting the idea to her?
-- Give more details on how the political race. Who are her opponents?
-- Also, generally there are two senators per planet, a junior and a senior senator. The difference being whoever's served the longest.
-- Why would she get handmaidens because she's a senator?
part four:
-- I'm not sure if this is really worth it, since it's only one sentence. Also, this needs to be in past tense.


* RP Sample:
-- This is good, nice detail. The ending is a bit abrupt, though.



Okay, overall, in summary, since I know that's a lot to take in...

I like this character, and she's fairly well-developed. There's just a few things that need to be worked on.

- As I believe I've mentioned before, I wasn't sure on her age and how young she was when she became senator. This still concerns me, and I would prefer aging her a bit. Going through her life, her various schooling and extracurriculars, it almost sounds like Adila is a bit of a child prodigy. You have her graduating high school, university, etc. at a pretty young age, and yet, there's not a lot throughout the bio, nor the stats, to such an high intelligence as this. I know she's from a noble family, but I think I would tone this down a bit.
- Also, along with the Force-sensitivity thing. I can't help but think this is an afterthought or a whim. It's only mentioned once, and then never again. If you're really set on this, it needs to be developed more. Otherwise I would just skip it.
- As for everything else... the bio just needs some organizing and cleaning up. Make sure you put in age references throughout, so we know how old she is at various points. Also, try to keep it more focused as far as the timeline and chronology is concerned.
And for important parts of her life, such as her leadership qualities, love of politics, etc. etc., make sure there are examples and details about it. Going along with that, make sure that everything in the bio has a purpose, and isn't just there to fill space, such as the art and ballet thing, the Force-sensitivity, etc.


Man, that was a bad summary. Okay, basically what I'm saying is... add details where it counts, remove them where it doesn't. Everything here is fleshed out; you just need to round off the rough edges.


Good luck.

And if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

[Mara]

It's been almost a month since my review, and no word from you. This will be moved to incomplete in a few days if I still haven't heard from you.