Abusa Vihs

[mastervalkyrie]

Code:
Name: Abusa Vihs
Race: Otolla Gungan
Age: 5yrs
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 221lbs

Appearance: Abusa Vihs is a tall dark violet Gungan, he basically looks the same as any other Otolla Gungan with darker skin on the top of his arms and lighter on bottom. Abusas right ear has a thin scar running the length of the first web. He has dark blue eyes that seem almost human. Abusa wears old raggedy brown robes and like your typical Otolla Gungan, walks around barefoot.

Personality: Abusa Vihs is a kind and considerate being with a light heart but normally shows none of his emotions. Some would say that Abusa has no emotion because he is so good at hiding them. Abusa is positive in all situations and is always trying to point out the good aspects of different situations. He works hard and won't give up untill a job is done to its best.

Birth place: Naboo

Faction: Jedi
Rank: Youngling

Lightsaber: Abusas lightsaber is a plain silver chrome hilt that has nothing but the activation button and the belt clip. It is entirely plain, noone understands why Abusa constructed his lightsaber in this fashion, and they probably never will. The hilt is rounded at the base and is flat at the blade projection end. The activation button is located near the blade end of the hilt, and the belt clip is at the opposite end.
Color: Dark Yellow

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho 3
Makashi 1
Soresu N/A
Ataru N/A
Shien / Djem So N/A
>>Sub-form Backhanded N/A
Niman N/A
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield N/A
Juyo N/A
Double Bladed Combat N/A

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 1
Telepathic: 2
Body: 1
Sense: 3
Protection: 2
Healing: 4
Destruction: 1

Specialized Skills: N/A

Attributes: Skilled with a lightsaber and somewhat knowledgable in close quarters combat. Other than that Abusa has limited knowledge of the force.

Physical Strength: 2
Intelligence: 2
Speed: 1
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 2
Melee Weapons: 1
Ranged Weapons: 1

Force Attunement: +3

Bio: Abusa Vihs was born in the swamps of Naboo to a pair of loving parents. He was a skilled harvester by age 3. His reflexes were astounding for a Gungan, but thats not saying much. He was taken from his family by the Jedi order at age 4 and has been trained in their ways up to this point. Skilled with a lightsaber and in close quarters combat but somewhat weak. He may be at a disadvantage to other jedi his age, but he is very persistent and never gives up.

RP Sample:

[Cadyren]

Alright, your app caught my interest because of his age. I'mm going to tell you right now that I know little/nothing about Gungans outside of the movies, so I won't review any of that. If you don't like my review and want it removed just PM me and I'll delete it.
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Appearance:

I would suggest expanding on this a little. Your appearance seems rather short. Also a Jedi wouldn't wear raggedy robes, the Jedi wear plain robes (supposedly) but they don't wear raggedy robes.

Personality:

Your character is five years old, so it would be rather hard for him to be able to control his emotions, almost impossible i would say. Other then that I suggest expanding on his personality a little bit more.

Lightsaber and Lightsaber stats

I don't think younglings are taught to use a Lightsaber until they turn six, so your character would not have a Lightsaber or no how to use one.

Force abilities:

Your character is the youngest Force sensitive I've seen, but I think you should lower your stats alot. i would say mostly 1's, with maybe two 2's in stats you want him to be good at. Also Jedi aren't taught destruction, so he should have a zero in that.

Attributes

I would say increase speed to a 3, as a 1 would mean he is as slow as a Hutt.

Bio: A 3 year old cannot be a skilled harvester, or even an average harvester. Also I would suggest expanding on his bio a little bit. He's young so you don't have much to cover, but I would say you should try and make the bio two paragraphs long, one about his life on Naboo, and the other about his life as a Youngling.

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I hope my advice helped you, but like I said if you don't want to listen to my review just pm me and I'll remove it. May the Force be with you

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Also worth noting, a 5 year old isn't likely to be 5' 4" and 220 lbs. That's an unhealthy BMI even for a grown adult.

[mastervalkyrie]

thnxfor the advice, never used anything like this before so any advice is good advice at this point.

[Sporky]

About lightsabers: I myself am not sure about the whole thing that Cadyren mentioned about being six, but if he DOES have one, it's just a training saber. Worst it can do is bruise, mildly burn, or welt.

Also they only come in generic blue and generic green.

[Meira]

All of the above advice is great advice. Please take it into account when going back over this character.

I'd also like to add emphasis to the bit about emotion in his personality. As Cadyren said, young characters have far less control than older characters, so being able to "hide" one's emotions so well at age 5 is unrealistic. Beyond the fact that such a young character doesn't possess the skills to do such a thing, we're dealing with Jedi here. There's no way a kid could hide their emotions from a Jedi.

Now, you could rework this to say that your character seems to have something of a flat emotional tendency. All people(aliens, whatever) are different and will tend to different kinds of emotional excitability. There are hyper kids, there are kids who will start to cry at the drop of a hat, and then you have those kids who just seem not to be bothered much by anything. They just sort of... are.

Be aware, however, that if you go with this, the odds of the kid being the optimistic, always trying to look on the bright side of things, kind of character won't really fit with that.


Characters do not construct their own lightsaber until their padawan years. The only sabers this kid would have access to, as it has already been mentioned, would be training sabers. And he would only be JUST starting to be allowed access to the sabers. He would have no lightsaber stats at all.

Being just at the beginning of his training in Force abilities, this character couldn't have anything over a one. And no more than two ones at that. The first skills the character will be learning will be in telekinetic and body, so those should be the only areas where he might have a one, if any at all.

You have to remember that you've elected to create an extremely young character. Being this young means that this character has had next to no experience whatsoever.

Personally, if I were you, I would try for a padawan rank. You will have to add much more detail to the character, but at such a level, you'll be able to have some of the things you've tried for here. Also, once approved, there will be more opportunities for you to RP a higher character.

Hope this helps.

[Kella]

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