Almost Honest {lmr}

[Rugs]

"What, did ya knock up the Grand Poobah's daughter or something?"

Now it was Asyr's turn to falter. His stride stuttered briefly and the smile flickered from his face briefly. The most telling thing, though, was the distant look in his eyes, which he quickly turned away under the pretense of glancing at a store across the street so Ervisa couldn't see.

She couldn't have known how squarely she'd hit things.

That and more. If only you knew, Erivisa... He cleared his head and steadied himself as the doors slid open.

Fortunately, the smell of tabac that filled the shop was a bit of a mood-lifter. Tabac had a way of doing that for the Echani pirate. While Ervisa plastered herself on one of the displays, Asyr stopped in the middle of the store and looked around. The store was impressive, and the collection of cigars was even more so. A smile touched his pale face. "Looks like this was a good choice."

Then he saw the attendant helping Ervisa and sauntered his way over so the picking could begin...

A few minutes later, they'd made their picks. Asyr had some cigars from a world he'd never heard of. Aiaru, it was called. At first he'd been a bit hesitant to spend any decent amount of money on a type of cigar he'd never had before, but after a bit of inspection and testing, he'd decided to take a chance.

He also took note of a few shipping labels. He'd have to have a chit-chat with Lordura later; a cigar shipment would make for a lovely raid target.

"Asyr, you sure you want to pay for all this?"

Asyr chuckled as he stepped up and deposited his bounty on the counter, and motioned for her to do the same. "Don't worry about it, Ervisa." A spark of mischief glinted in his pale eyes as he flashed a toothy grin at her. "It's not a problem."

It was true, after all. Asyr didn't have a particular shortage of funds. Best thing about it all was that the money was either stolen or had been gained from stolen goods. Other people's cash was always easy to spend.

Once everything was lined up and paid for, Asyr handed Ervisa's case to her and took his own in hand and strolled out of the store.

There was a plaza a little ways down the street. Seemed like a good enough place to go to settle down and have a good smoke and conversation.

"Right, so where was I?" He wondered aloud as he steered them toward an empty table with an umbrella to keep the sun at bay. "Ah, right, having to leave Eshan. As for your question, about the Poobah's daughter..."

His shoulder dropped a bit, but despite that he managed a chuckle and a smile as they arrived at the table. "You'd be surprised about the things you learn about people you meet sometimes."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"You'd be surprised about the things you learn about people you meet sometimes."

"Try me," Ervisa flopped onto a chair, kicking her legs up with the motion before letting them fall back to the ground again. It was a relaxed movement, precisely the sort of thing that meant she didn't have a care in the world. There was still a solid two hours before she had to be back at the ship. And worst case scenario she was late. The ship couldn't take off without the pilot. No worries there.

The Mirialan woman set the box of cigars down on the table, and flipped it open with a tattooed hand. Carefully she selected one, rolling it around between her fingers before giving it a good whiff. No rushing perfection. Then she held it to her mouth and bit off the tip, spitting it out onto the ground and placing the cigar between her lips.

"So," she spoke around it, "You knocked up the head honcho's daughter. Made the royal child with child. Made the princess preggers. One hit wonder?"

Her green hand grasped the hilt of her lightsaber and pulled it free of her belt. Her thumb found the activation switch, and with the distinct and unmistakable snap/hiss of a lightsaber, the navy blue blade shimmered into existence. She leaned up to it, lightly resting the tip of the cigar to the glowing blade and puffing. Once she could taste the smoke in her mouth, she pulled away from the saber and took the lit cigar into her hand.

Smiling, she held out the lightsaber towards Asyr. "Want a light?" She asked playfully.

[Rugs]

By this point, all Asyr could do was laugh a little as he settled down into his seat across from Ervisa with a practiced, lazy sort of grace. His sack with his cigars was plopped onto the table and he removed on and set to preparing it to light.

"I guess sometimes the things people say would surprise you too..."

Before he could say more, the cigar needed lighting. No use starting his little story without getting a few good puffs in. He fumbled around in his pocket for a moment, fingers blindly searching for the little lighter of his. But a sound from Ervisa's side of the table drew his eyes, and what he saw held them.

It was a lightsaber.

Really, he shouldn't have been surprised; he'd surmised the thing hanging from her waist was a lightsaber when she mentioned her past as a Jedi. There was, however, a difference in knowing one had a lightsaber and actually seeing the things. They were rare sights, after all, and beautiful.

And Asyr had never seen one in person.

The dark blue blade Ervisa handled so casually was as marvelous a weapon as all the stories and legends made it out to be. Having the taste and appreciation for fine weapons that he did, Asyr didn't doubt his expression was something approximating that of a child looking at the toy of his dreams--or to be more true to who the pirate was, a woman beyond even his wildest fantasies--but he didn't care.

"Want a light?"

"Huh?" Asyr's brow wrinkled and he blinked dumbly before realization struck. "Oh! Well, sure if you're offerin'." With considerable effort to keep the reverence he was feeling from beaming out on his face, he reached across the table and took the saber in hand.

The weapon was surprisingly light, just as he'd head they were; didn't seem to weight any more than the hilt itself. Even though it the hilt wasn't built for his hand, it fit well enough in between his fingers, and the hilt itself was as beautiful as the blue blade that burned from its tip.

"Lovely weapon, Ervisa," he said as he flicked his wrist and lit his cig. He contemplated turning it off, but at the realization that he wasn't sure what switch did what, reached across the table and handed the weapon back to her.

"Never seen a lightsaber before, let alone handle one." Asyr grinned wryly around his cigar. "Thanks for the chance." For a few moments he went to puffing on his cigar. After deciding that he was thoroughly satisfied and it'd been a good choice, he went on to tell her what he wanted to tell her.

"Anyway," said he as he tipped his chair back so that the front legs came off the ground and kicked his legs up on the table with ankles comfortably crossed, "you were right. Perfectly right.

"Grew up on Eshan as nobility of a sort, I guess you could say. Family was friendly with the king's. Daughter had a birthday party, I went, we hooked up. Well, she got preggers, and daddy the king wasn't very happy with it. So here I am, out in the Galaxy and an exile from my own home and father of some bastard prince if nothing happened to him."

Asyr rolled the cigar from one side of his mouth to the other, and then plucked out for a moment so he could blow a small ring. "Guess it wasn't all bad though," he added, suddenly grinning mischievously. "The sex was good. And knockin' up a princess wasn't a bad feat for my first time, if I do say so myself."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Lovely weapon, Ervisa... Never seen a lightsaber before, let alone handle one... Thanks for the chance."

"My pleasure," Ervisa smiled back. There was a certain special something about lightsabers. She'd missed hers after she'd turned it in to the Jedi before leaving. And she'd thought she could get by without it. Well, she'd been mistaken. Problem one was when a bunch of punk Dark Jedi bought passage on the freighter she was piloting. Arrogant jerks demanded everyone bow and scrape before them. It resulted in her cooking a five star meal and performing stand-up, and they still hadn't been grateful. Of course if she'd had her lightsaber she could have just taken them all down and been saved a massive headache.

After that she'd built her new one, the one currently hanging on her belt. It was ornate, but not excessively so. It fit her hand perfectly, and was just long enough for a two-handed stance if need be. And she found a certain pleasure in the navy blue color of its blade. It matched her tatts. It also helped that green and blue went so nicely with each other.

A thin smile appeared on Ervisa's face as Asyr described the situation he'd been in quite concisely. The whole time, she wondered what precisely that moment of revelation would have been like. She also wondered what nobility must have been like. Hell, she was used to sleeping on park benches half the time, and lying drunk in the gutter. She was hardly 'lady' material, and she'd blend in at a high society gathering about as well as a Jawa at a Kaminoan family reunion.

Asyr on the other hand... She could see it. His facial structure, his hair, his eyes, and his bearing all had that hint of nobility. She could definitely see him at some fancy-do, all spiffed up and looking good.

"The sex was good. And knockin' up a princess wasn't a bad feat for my first time, if I do say so myself.

"Not bad at all," Ervisa chuckled. "Have to say, you're the first piece of nobility I've ever been with. Little funny considering it was on a toilet seat..."

That was more than a little unusual. Going from such a high position in life to having sex with a drifter in the bathroom of a third-rate bar? Couldn't have been easy for him.

"As you may have guessed, I'm definitely not nobility. I know, such a convincing impression of it, but all an illusion." Ervisa winked, then lapsed off into silence, unsure of what to say.

[Rugs]

"Not bad at all. Have to say, you're the first piece of nobility I've ever been with. Little funny considering it was on a toilet seat..."

Once again, Asyr grinned boyishly at Ervisa and gave her a tip of his imaginary hat. He had to imagine he'd look rather striking if he was in one, with his cigar and all. Pity a hat was currently lacking. "My pleasure," he said, echoing her acknowledgement a few moments earlier. "Couldn't have picked a better noble for your first one, if I do say so myself. Course..." His grin grew wider. "I s'pose I might be a bit biased in that.

"And if we're so lucky, perhaps sometime we'll get together somewhere more suited to two beautiful people like ourselves." He chuckled and sighed out some smoke. "Too bad you don't have more time in port, else I'd say we see to it before we split. Not that I didn't have fun in the bathroom, mind you..." Oh yes, he'd had quite a time.

"As you may have guessed, I'm definitely not nobility. I know, such a convincing impression of it, but all an illusion."

Asyr supposed that if there was one thing he could say about Ervisa, it was that she knew how to make him laugh. He chuckled and leaned back again in his seat, rolling the cigar around in his mouth. Honestly, he didn't mind losing everything he'd had in his old life. The hardest part had been finding a new life for himself, but now that he had it...

"T' tell you the truth, you're not missin' much. Can honestly say I'm happier now than I ever was livin' that life. Maybe I just wasn't the right type." He shrugged his muscular shoulders noncomitally, as if it wasn't much of a deal. "Didn't help me and Pops never really saw eye-to-eye, either I guess."

Or that his father had disowned him shortly after he learned about the incident with the king's daughter. Yevor was not Asyr's true surname; Noallin was. Yevor was a name he'd just made up after his exile. But that was something he kept close to the vest. He liked Ervisa, and even though he'd only known her for part of an afternoon, he felt comfortable with sharing some things with her. Others were still of the table, though. For now, anyway.

"He was a military man, see." A renowned general, actually, but semantics. "Wanted me to be the same. I wasn't really feelin' the whole military thing, though." Asyr snorted a brief burst of smoke through his nostrils and muttered "Still have a bad taste in my mouth for military types cause'a him..."

He just shook his head and sighed, brushing some of his snowy locks away from his eyes. Probably best to let that topic go. "Anyway, the worst part of goin' from where I was to where I am now was findin' a way to get my feet under me again. Spent a year stranded on Taris with nothin' to my name but my weapons and the clothes I wore." His voice grew a bit more somber as he spoke. His gaze seemed to go distant as he remembered that year and all its hardships. He'd been poor. Poorer than poor. Miserable.

"But I'm alright now," he went on with another shrugs. "'Sides, I like people out here more. More..." he gestured with his fingers, searching for the right way to put it. "Real. Folks like yourself. My kind of people."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Ervisa listened attentively as Asyr talked, then chuckled softly as he described her as 'real.' That wasn't exactly a term she often heard applied to herself. More like... surreal. She had the tendency to be a little different from your typical reality. Part of her charm.

She'd also shrugged a little about his commentary on military personnel. She could take them or leave them, but she had to admit a good uniform was pretty impressive. Not that she swooned over them or anything. The only guaranteed swoon was an unshaven Corellian at the gambling table.

Occasionally she took a puff from her cigar, rolling the flavorful smoke around her mouth before releasing it into the humid outside air. A year on Taris? Rough. It was a planet she'd never been to, but she'd heard it was still far from healed from its scars in the Jedi Civil War. It certainly wasn't a vacation destination either, not a good place to spend time. If he'd lasted a year there on his own with no resources, he was tough.

Once had finished, she gathered her own thoughts. Really she wasn't a huge conversationalist. She had a quip here and there, and a witticism or three on hand, but simply sitting down and talking with someone else like a normal person? That was a bit hard. It was... it was like building up an actual relationship again. And Ervisa simply didn't let people in close to her. She'd learned a lesson about getting attached, and since the loss of her Padawan years ago she'd gone without much in the way of conversation.

There sex yes, but those were just flings. They didn't mean anything but a good time and a 'goodbye.' Already she was sticking around longer than she ever had before. She wasn't entirely sure what to make of that.

"Well," Ervisa started tentatively, "I think you uh, turned out pretty well." Hardly a brilliant statement or stunning piece of conversation. She wasn't good at this at all.

The Mirialan woman just sort of gave up, and settled for silently leaning back in her chair and kicking her feet up unceremoniously onto the table.

[Rugs]

"Well, I think you uh, turned out pretty well."

Asyr chuckled softly at that, though his brows rose just a little at the way she said it. Seemed almost unsure, which didn't fit the image of her personality that was steadily solidifying in his mind. Or maybe he just imagined it. Who could say?

"Yeah, I guess. Coulda been worse at any rate." He drew deeply from his cigar as he tipped his chair even further back for a moment, nearly to the point where it threatened to tip over and dump him on the back of his head. He held himself there briefly, savoring the cigar's taste, and then leaned back down to his previous position as he exhaled slowly.

A silly grin touched his features. "Coulda lost my mind on Taris and wound up some crazy runnin' around without clothes on. Though I guess I do enough without my clothes on anyway, so it probably wouldn't be much different."

For a while after that, he let a quiet fall as he enjoyed his cigar. Life was good now. He had his crew, he had as much freedom as he wanted, and he was able to keep money in his pockets for fine occasions such as this. As a wind blew in from the ravine the city hung from, Asyr decided that he was quite happy with how things had turned out, despite all the bumps in the road he'd run into during his life.

And it was times like these, when he was with a fun, beautiful woman like Ervisa, or when he was fighting alongside his bud Jaleqe, that made him feel alive. They were what he lived for. He certainly could have chosen a worse life to live.

He pulled his cigar from his mouth and tapped some ashes on the ground thoughtfully as his pale eyes looked back across the table to Ervisa. Never could get tired of looking at her. The thought brought a ghost of a smile to his lips. It was a shame the disaster with Osana had left him so afraid of committing again.

Still, he wondered about the woman sitting across from him--wondered what else there was to her. So what else to do but ask?

"So what was it like, if you don't mind me asking?" Another tap, a few more ashes sent drifting lazily to the pavement, and the cigar returned to his mouth. "Being a Jedi, I mean. I've never met one. Or a former one, for that matter." Another small smile touched his face. "Guess I was your first noble, and you were my first person that could use the Force. Far as I know, anyway."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

What was the Jedi Order like? Tough question. Quite to the point, and something understandable. The Jedi were mostly seen from a certain standpoint, with an aloof quality. They were 'others.' Beneficial ones to most people, but not ordinary people. Ervisa, of course, had a much closer opinion of them.

Almost surprisingly given her separation from the Order, she didn't have anything but admiration for the Jedi. She wasn't sore with them or hostile to them. Certainly there were very few people, if any, in their ranks who would approve of her life style. But that didn't mean she had to resent them.

She'd fought the good fight, helped win against the forces of evil a couple of times. She was proud of that, and certainly there was no shame over her past as a Jedi. Only in her one failure. If she'd been just a bit faster or a bit stronger, then her Padawan would have lived. But she'd been slow, just by a matter of seconds. After that she hadn't wanted to take part in that fight anymore. She didn't even want to be around the familiar sights and sounds. She wanted something new, something fresh. A beginning, a rebirth into a different world entirely.

"The Jedi are like a very large family. You have your elders, the ones you obey. The wise ones. Then you have your own master. He's a father to you. He teaches you as you grow into an adult, shows you all the skills you need to learn. Then when you're a Knight, all the others are your brothers and sisters, and the masters are your aunts and uncles."

Now there was the hard part to describe. Taking an apprentice. It was... something she hadn't discussed, ever in fact. And she wasn't sure how emotional she could get over it. But she'd already started talking. There was no backing out now.

"And then there's your Padawan. When you take an apprentice, its like adopting a child. You become a parent. You have to provide kindness and firm instruction in the right doses, because its your responsibility to raise them up to become a Knight. Their- their very lives are... in your hands... and you're expected to take care of them." Ervisa faltered in her explanation, her voice tightening considerably and her eyes closing.

Even though she was talking, all she could think of was Felucia, a world she never wanted to see again in her life. She could practically feel the oppressive heat and humidity, and despite herself she shuddered. Behind her eyes she could see the red lightsaber blade protruding from her Padawan's back.

Her fault. She'd put him in that position. She'd been careless and allowed herself to be taken out of the fight. And then she'd compounded her failure by taking so long to get back into it. It had resulted in her Padawan's death. She could still feel the phantom weight of his body in her arms, and she could hear his raspy voice uttering his final words after she'd asked him for forgiveness. There is… nothing to forgive…

Ervisa trembled. She couldn't help herself. The memory was too raw, too fresh. Even after all those years she'd put between then and now, it wasn't enough. The tattoos on her right arm were in his memory. It was a symbol, that she'd lost her right arm.

It still ached.

[Rugs]

Asyr listened as Ervisa spoke, nodding at her explanation. It was a simple thing, and analogy to a family that anyone could understand. He appreciated it; he supposed he knew most of the same myths and tall tales about the Jedi that just about anyone else did, but he'd never really learned anything about how they were organized, or the minutiae of how they did things. There hadn't ever been a need, really. Not for him, anyway.

However, as Ervisa continued to explain, he noticed that her demeanor was changing. He didn't even need his skill with reading people to see it.

Something's wrong. Both snowy brows knitted as he frowned slightly, huffing smoke out the side of his mouth. He said nothing, though, just listened as she explained what taking students was like for the Jedi.

With a quiet sigh, he tapped his cigar on the arm of his chair and pulled his legs down where they were propped up on the table. He knew that kind of look. He knew the kind of hurt that rode on someone's voice when they spoke about something like that. How couldn't he? It was a pain and a hurt he'd experienced himself.

"I see," he said quietly when she finished talking. His heart felt heavy looking at her, watching her tremble at whatever unseen ghosts still tormented her memories. On an impulse, he was on his feet and walking around the table.

He pulled out the seat next to her and quietly sat in it. "Listen," he said softly, leaning in and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I..."

What could he say, though? How could he even know he understood what she was feeling the right way?

Searching for words, he just sighed and shook his head sadly, drawing on his own pained experience of the past. Gone from his eyes, if she saw them, was the glint of steady self-assuredness, or the spark of almost boyish mischief. Now they were subdued, and sad. Almost dull.

"I... I didn't mean to ask something that might pull up some bad memories." He sighed again, and his lips pressed into a thin line as he considered what to say. Though he considered himself to have a way with words, offering solace wasn't exactly a strong point of his. Unless it involved sex, anyway. "I know what it's like to lose someone you care for. And..." Of course his voice would be trembling now. It was faint, but it was there. "It's not something I'd wish on anyone."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Ervisa rested her head up against the hand that had clasped her shoulder. She needed the touch. She needed it in a bad way. She hated talking about that past, she hated reliving it. She doubted the pain and the memories would ever fade away the way she'd like. That's why she did her best to be vivacious, to distract herself with men, with alcohol, with crazy behavior. It stopped her from dwelling on what had happened to an unhealthy extent. Without those crutches, she wasn't sure what would inspire her to get up in the morning and face the day.

She needed her distractions like a plant needed sunlight or a fish needed water to swim in. It was simply something she'd come to accept. Of course she'd never actually sat down and talked it out with anyone before. Not even her master, Yarni.

In a way, talking to Asyr was a little like talking to her master. They were both Echani, and shared the same silver eyes and snowy hair. They had the same pale skin. Of course she had zero desire to sleep with her master. But maybe the resemblance was just enough reason for her to feel a little something more when his hand was on her shoulder.

She'd never even said goodbye to him. She'd simply returned from her ill-fated mission, handed in her lightsaber to the Council, and left through the large ornate doors of the Temple. Maybe that was why she didn't like to think about it. She had no closure on her time as a Jedi. She'd probably hurt her master's feelings badly by disappearing the way she had. And to see her behaving the way she did now? He'd be humiliated. It would probably be for the best if they never met again.

She didn't like it though.

"I... I didn't mean to ask something that might pull up some bad memories. I know what it's like to lose someone you care for. And... It's not something I'd wish on anyone."

Of course it wasn't. He'd had no way of knowing what effect talking about it would have on the Mirialan. His intentions had never been anything but pleasant. But since he'd noticed, there was no point holding anything back.

"I was on Felucia with Bola'attuna, my Padawan, fighting a Dark Jedi. He forced me out of the battle, and then he stabbed Bola right there when I was watching. He died in my arms a few minutes later. He was just a teenager. And it was my own fault. If I'd been stronger or faster, or if I hadn't put him in that position at all... Then he'd be a Jedi Knight right now. He'd be alive."

[Rugs]

He felt a pain spearing through his heart as she spoke. How bad must have been for her to go through that? To watch as her student was killed before her, and be cursed to live the rest of her days wondering how things could have turned out differently?

"Ervisa..." His grip tightened just a little on her firm shoulder--a squeeze of comfort as he searched for something to say. "I'm so sorry..."

Honestly, he wasn't sure what to tell her. He knew there wasn't anything he could say, no magic words or phrase that could make the hurt go away. Nothing he could really do but try to let her know he understood and he was there for her, or as there for her as a stranger she'd only known for a few hours could be.

Asyr gently took the largely used-up cigar from his mouth and smothered it against the table's smooth metal top. He scooted his seat closer to Ervisa's, and his hand gently left her shoulder so that he could put his arm around her. His shoulder would be there to take the place of his hand as something for her to lean against, if she wanted; he didn't mind.

"I know it must have been awful for you..." Understatement of the day. "I... wish there was something I could do to make it better, but..." The end of the sentence hung unspoken. There wasn't a need to finish it.

Instead he sighed, and closed his eyes as his thoughts turned elsewhere, back to earlier. She'd asked him what had gotten him down when they'd been having their fun in the booth. At the time, he didn't want to answer--Osana and the things that happened with her weren't things he readily talked about.

But she'd told him this, and it couldn't have been easy for her. If he couldn't say anything else, he could at least share what troubled his heart.

He glanced at her for a moment. She reminded him of Osana, in so many ways. She was fit and toned, and likely strong, as Osana had been, though Osana had lacked the green skin, being an Epicanthix. But more than appearance, was the way she acted.

He couldn't say if that made the memories worse or not.

"A few years back, when I joined up on my first crew, there was this gal on board," he started, gaze going distant. "Osana. She was... everything to me. She was funny, smart, beautiful... a hell of a fighter." He hated looking back. His throat was already getting tight and his heart ached as memories of days gone by echoed through his mind. "I loved her. I loved her more than I can say with words. Force, it sounds corny, but I'd give up everything I have to be with her again.

"There was a stop we made--dropping a shipment of spice off at Metellos. Was supposed to be the easiest damn thing in the world, but someone had it out for us. Group of bounty hunters came outta nowhere..." Asyr sighed the sigh of a defeated man and closed his eyes for a moment. "We got split up, but I saw too many people on that crew die that day. And when it was done, I went looking for her... and... and..."

He shook his head. He couldn't do it; it hurt too much. Osana had been gone. The Riptide, the ship he'd worked on at the time, had as well. For a time he'd held out hope that she'd survived, but any efforts he made to try to get in contact with her ultimately failed, again and again.

It didn't matter, though. Osana was gone from his life; even if she wasn't dead, she might as well have been.

"I just... I just thought I'd tell you," he finally made himself say, voice wavering with the effort. "You asked earlier. And... I feel like you should know."

By this point, he didn't even care about the warm tear he felt slowly rolling down his cheek.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Ervisa...I'm so sorry..."

The Mirialan woman nodded slightly in recognition as she reached up with a tattooed hand to wipe away a tear from her eye. She hated it when she got all weak and vulnerable in front of people. Why did it have to hurt that way? All she wanted was a little closure, was that so much to ask for?

Another pang in her heart answered that question.

As his arm wrapped around her, she rested her head on his broad shoulder, thankful for the physical contact. It was nice to just be held, to know someone else cared. So what if she'd just met him that day? That didn't matter, what mattered was that he was there, and he had a firm shoulder to rest on.

"I know it must have been awful for you... I... wish there was something I could do to make it better, but..."

But there wasn't. There wasn't anything anyone could do about it. If she ever found some kind of closure, it would be through herself. It had to be through herself. That was what made it hard.

When Asyr went on to describe his own lost love, she had the faintest ideas of what it was like for him, but she couldn't fully understand the way he felt. She appreciated loss yes, but she didn't know love. She'd had all kinds of flings, and she knew about general compassion, but romantic love had always evaded her. She'd never been in love with any one person. It was possible she was simply in love with everyone, but she doubted that.

She stared up at Asyr, her own grey eyes were flecked with blue and still damp, and she could see a tear in the Echani man's own silvery blue eyes. It rolled down onto his cheek, and she reached up to it, gently catching the tear on her finger.

Ervisa didn't know what to say. Words were never her strong suit, and she simply didn't know what she could say to help ease that pain. She'd always been better with actions, and she knew what actions she needed to take.

The Mirialan woman leaned up and gently took Asyr's lips into her own, kissing him softly. She held that contact for a long time, moving her hands up to caress his face. When at last she pulled away, she leaned back up against his shoulder.

"This is a one-night stand that didn't go the way I expected at all..."

[Rugs]

It was Asyr's turn to be thankful. Rarely did he show anyone the kind of emotions he was letting Ervisa see. Not because of ideals of manliness--if it came to that, he was certain he was both stronger than and capable of beating the daylights out of a huge majority of anyone that might bother to mock him for it--but because he wasn't comfortable doing it. Pain had a way of hurting, and he liked forgetting it focusing on the good things in life. He'd already been dealt a lifetime's worth of bad cards, some of his own doing, and he wasn't even thirty.

So when Ervisa caught his tear away and gently guided him into a kiss, he appreciated it. He couldn't say it, didn't say it, but he let himself go a bit as he kissed her back, and knew that it felt nice to know she at least cared. Truthfully, he didn't want it to end. But he knew it would have to, and the pain would still be there. Lessened for a while, perhaps, but it would always be with him.

When the broke apart again, he looked at her, eyes still a bit misty with emotion. She leaned in against him again, and he kept his arm around her, holding her with a gentle sort of firmness.

"This is a one-night stand that didn't go the way I expected at all..."

Asyr sighed softly and leaned his head down a bit, so that it touched hers lightly. "You and me both," he muttered. "But, I guess it could've been worse..."

A silence fell for a few moments. He was content to let things stay that way as he worked on clearing his emotions back up. And honestly, he was just fine to sit there with Ervisa at his side. He liked her. He'd only known her for part of an afternoon, but he already believed he could call her a friend.

"Well..." He sighed and paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "It was good to finally get that off my chest, I guess. Never told anyone about what happened to her..."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"You and me both... But, I guess it could've been worse..."

Ervisa nodded silently. It could have been. But in its own way this was bad, worse than any other time. She was actually bonding with someone else, being serious with them rather than being her usual quirky happy-go-lucky self. Was she actually connecting herself to another person in a way beyond the physical?

She had to admit now that she'd talked with him and learned about him, if Asyr died she'd regret more than just the loss of a pretty face. And a nice set of abs. She'd regret the loss of a thinking, feeling, man who she shared so much in common with. It would actually hurt, and it could weigh on her mind. All because she'd done more than just sleep with him. She'd gotten attached to him.

Was she under any impression he'd somehow sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to live in an ivory tower? Hell no. She'd have punched that knight in shining armor off his horse. She didn't want any of that. But what she'd gotten was... friends with benefits. But even that had the friends part attached to the benefits she'd expected. She wasn't sure what to make of that. She hadn't had a single friend since her time as a Jedi.

She'd just made one today, and that genuinely frightened her. What if she lost him?

Ervisa winced at that. She'd just barely met him and she was leaving in a manner of hours. She wasn't being rational, he had to go on his way and she had to go on hers.

"Well... It was good to finally get that off my chest, I guess. Never told anyone about what happened to her..."

That solidified it. There was some connection, some reason they'd told each. She was certain over that. The Mirialan woman placed a hand on Asyr's chest, rubbing gently.

"We Mirialans have philosophy. Religion. Whatever you want to call it. Basically, each individual's actions contribute to their destiny. What we did here today means something for both of us. The fact that I told you and you told me, it means we'll see each other again. We shaped a connection into our destinies. I can feel it."

Ervisa reached with her free hand for the cigar she'd let rest on the table, tapping the extra ash off onto the floor and raising it to her lips again.

She'd recover. You couldn't keep Ervisa Therani down.

[Rugs]

Asyr looked down at Ervisa as she leaned in against him and gently rubbed his muscular chest. What she said intrigued him. He almost wanted to believe it. He'd be very happy to see her again sometime--maybe even when they had more time to spend together. Not only because she was beautiful in his eyes, though he'd be a liar if he denied that truth at all. Not just for the sex, even if he'd very much look forward to having another romp with her--hopefully somewhere a little more suited for it than a bathroom in some shady bar on the wrong side of town.

He wanted to see her again because he knew he'd actually enjoy spending time with her. He'd lost count of the number of women he'd had one night stands, or brief flings with. After a while, the faces had a way of blurring together, with the exception of a few that were worthy of remembrance. It was more or less all the same when you looked at the heart of it: meet a girl, woo her, have his fun with her for a night and then vanish, likely never to see her again.

Most times, he was fine not seeing his partners again; he looked for sex, after all, not actual companionship. Actual companionship was what had put the hole in his heart that he spent so much time trying to fill with other pleasures.

It was different with Ervisa, though. She wasn't the first partner he'd felt like that for, not by a long shot. But it was a bit uncommon--enough that he could tell she was different.

And truth be told, he didn't mind too much. Friends were good to have. Just so long as they didn't get closer than just friends. With benefits.

"That so? Never really been one for philosophy, or religion, or whatever you wanna call it, to tell the truth." Asyr sighed softly and looked to the sky for a moment, as he moved his arm from around Ervisa's shoulders to hooked comfortably around her slender waist as she reached for her cigar again. "That said, I think I can believe it. Because I told you what I did, if nothin' else." His gaze fell from the cloudy sky and back to her with a muted ghost of a smile. "Course I'd be lyin' if I said I wouldn't mind runnin' into you again somewhere. Long as it's not under some awful circumstances or somethin'."

He raised his free hand, holding up an imaginary glass in a salute. "So here's to destiny and all that, eh?"

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"That so? Never really been one for philosophy, or religion, or whatever you wanna call it, to tell the truth."

That wasn't surprising. People out on the Fringe tended to be either without some kind of faith or with mere superstition. Ervisa herself didn't know what to believe any more. She'd had absolute faith in the Jedi Order for all those years, confident in the ways of the light side. She'd trusted everything would turn out for the best.

It hadn't.

Had that shaken her faith in the light? Well yes. And no. She was still confident the light side was right and good, but she wasn't convinced it was infallible. She'd lost the round, and she was convinced she'd lost the game as well. She'd been done with it.

But she still trusted in the Force. How could she not? And she did believe her actions had some contribution to her destiny, that made perfect sense even if you didn't believe in something like destiny. You made your own in a way. Somehow, some way, she'd been meant to go this route. She simply had to make the best of it.


"That said, I think I can believe it. Because I told you what I did, if nothin' else."

Ervisa nodded as she puffed on her cigar. That was true. People like them didn't just share for no reason. When they did, it was special. Troubled pasts took some kind of special reason to be brought up again. And this qualified as a special reason.

"Course I'd be lyin' if I said I wouldn't mind runnin' into you again somewhere. Long as it's not under some awful circumstances or somethin'."

That should have gone without saying. Awful circumstances were quite literally the worst. And she had to admit, they'd gotten to that awkward part where she actually would have had some personal investment in misfortunes on his part. Presumably he was the same.

"So here's to destiny and all that, eh?"

Ervisa matched his own fake motion of raising a glass and toasting. She was used to pantomime. She did it all the time, usually to get a point across with something like a comm link or a blaster.

"Cheers," Ervisa stated wryly, clutching her cigar in the opposite hand of her pantomimed glass. In the process of 'drinking,' she noticed the chronometer. It told her something she wasn't keen on hearing. It was time to go.

She sighed. She didn't want to leave, she was comfortable with Asyr's arm around her waist and her head on his shoulder. The galaxy could have simply frozen right then and there and she would have been perfectly at ease with it. But no, the galaxy wasn't honoring her 'moment' and slowing down. She had a deadline to meet.

"Sorry handsome, but liberty is over. I'm due back to my ship in fifteen minutes, and there's a schedule to hold to."

Ervisa freed herself from Asyr's hand and straddled him again, giving him one last long kiss. She made it count though, melting into his lips and draping her green hands around his neck. But like all good things, it couldn't last.

She came up for air and slid off of him, picking up her duffel and her cigar again.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now Asyr."

[Rugs]

"Cheers," she said, and they raised their imaginary glasses in a toast. Asyr chuckled once the act was done, and some of the sun's light caught in his pale eyes as he looked down at her with the same boyish grin he'd had earlier.

As his arm fell back down to the arm of his seat, he leaned back further, making himself a bit more comfortable. His body relaxed, even though he hadn't thought he could relax much further. It had turned out to be a pretty perfect day, really, or as close to a perfect as a day could be, in his own experience. He was happy. Very much so.

"Sorry handsome, but liberty is over. I'm due back to my ship in fifteen minutes, and there's a schedule to hold to."

He sighed softly, though managed to hold the little smile on his face. Should've known time would run out when everything's so perfect. But he couldn't fault her for it, or anyone really, except maybe the crew that set the schedule. Not that he would--it was just the way things went. Still, it would have been nice if there was more time, but alas, it wasn't meant to be.

Before he could say anything, though, Ervisa had moved to straddle him again. Then her lips were on his, and his awareness of the world around him was suddenly dimmed as he was drawn into the kiss. By the time it was done, his arms were around her again, gently holding her to him. For a moment he just looked at her wordlessly. The kiss had nearly left him breathless; it took a lot to do that to Asyr Yevor.

"Well..." he started, smiling softly as he let his arms fall from around her so she could get up, "alright, gorgeous. It's been good. Better than good."

"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now Asyr."

He paused from gathering his cigar box up from the table and nodded at her words. "Aye, I guess it is." Some of the wry sparkle returned to his eyes and he flashed her a grin again. "For now."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Well... alright, gorgeous. It's been good. Better than good."

"D'awwww," Ervisa said with a wave of her tattooed hand, "You're gonna make me blush."

Of course in reality that was quite hard to do. The Mirialan ex-Jedi was pretty hard to rattle, and far from modest. That was one of the top ten words that couldn't describe her. Others included 'subtle,' 'punctual,' 'neat,' and 'non-alcoholic.' Especially that last one.

'Blast off' meant 'get blasted before you take off.'

Sadly she wasn't particularly affected. Maybe a slight buzz, but nothing more. She did function at her best with a drink or two under her belt. Chalk that one up to any reason you wanted. She'd just accepted it as one of her quirks.

She had a lot of those.

"Aye, I guess it is. For now."

"For now," Ervisa confirmed with a nod. But not forever. Why? Because forever was a very long time indeed, and the galaxy wasn't quite that large. Also, as she'd told him, destiny. Their actions had forged a connection that wasn't over yet.

He was now officially her first friend since leaving the Jedi Order. Quite the distinction.

The Mirialan woman hefted her duffel bag onto her right shoulder and blew a kiss to Asyr with her left hand before turning and walking away.