Aren.

[sparta]

Name: Aren.
Race: Human.
Age: 4.
Height: 3'11.
Weight: 46 lbs.

Appearance:

Aren is an average looking human, with dark red hair. It's weird that his hair is that color when his mother has brown hair, but it is unknown who the father is, so it is possible that he had red hair.

He's average hight for his age group, standing at the base hight of 3'11. His eyes are dark blue, and sometimes look like ice. He has a pointy nose, and small ears.

Personality:

Aren is not much of a talker, ever since he got removed from his mothers care, he hasn't really spoke. He is a friendly person, who speaks through his actions, ans is generally helpful to other Jedi.

Birth place: Tattooine.

Faction: Jedi.
Rank: Jedi Youngling.

Lightsaber: Currently using a training lightsaber, and intends to make a lightsaber once he becomes a padawan, with the help of his master.

Color: Blue.

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho - Aren has only practised this lightsaber form, as all Jedi younglings do. He intends to learn more as he advances in training.

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 2
Telepathic: 3
Body: 2
Sense: 6
Protection: 2
Healing: 1
Destruction: 2

Specialized Skills:

He doesn't have any specialized skills at the moment, but his sense abilities have always been strong, ever since he was born.

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 4
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 5
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 2
Melee Weapons: 2
Ranged Weapons: 1

Force Attunement:

Aren has a strong connection to the force, that has always been clear, but he is not really attuned with the force yet.

Bio:

Ever since Aren was born, his mother knew he was special. She watched over him and thought he had special powers. Who Arens father is - is not known, well she has some ideas, but she is not 100% certain with anyone. Arens mother was a whore you see, and has children to a lot of men, but Aren stood out from all of the rest, with his intelligence and quick reactions to everything, she just couldn't explain how.

Aren first few years of his life wasn't the best, his mother wasn't making much money, so she had to sell her body to earn what she can to feed her children, but she wanted to keep a low profile, because she knew if any of the locals found out about Aren and his special abilities, they'd try and take him from her, and she didn't want that, she wanted a good life for him.

Then came the day, Aren was 3 years old. When he woke up, he saw his mother speaking to a robed man, but he didn't know what was going on, being so young. The next thing he knew, his mother was picking him up, kissing him on the cheek, and handing him off to the robed man. It was a Jedi Knight, who picked up on his connection to the force, as he was passing through the city. He explained to Arens mother that he is of perfect age to be taken to the temple, and hopefully be trained in the ways of the force.

It's been a couple of months, and now Aren is 4 years old, and is training to become a Jedi.

RP Sample:

It was time to train. Aren through the temple halls, to get to class as fast as he can. As he was running through the halls, he slipped, and fell flat on his stomach. He rolled over so he could sit up, and he checked himself for wounds. After finding no wounds on his body, he smiled to himself.

Then came another boy, who was on his way to class. He stood in front of Aren, looking down to him. Aren looked up to the boy, wondering what he wanted. The boy offered his hand to Aren. Aren just stared at the hand for a few seconds, before grabbing onto it. The boy pulled him up to his feet, then let go of his hand.

"Thanks" Aren said.

"Don't mention it, my name is Yuin, what's yours?"

"Aren, but come on, we got to hurry to class or we aren't gonna' make it on time!"

After that, they both walked down the hall, to get to class.

[Cain]

Hey, sparta, just want to give you a heads up before a mod comes in here to look at this.

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 2
Telepathic: 3
Body: 2
Sense: 6
Protection: 2
Healing: 1
Destruction: 2

For a four year old your stats are insanely high. Your bio includes nothing of any Force training, so at best Aren would have maybe a 1 in one Force stat or another. The rest would likely be 0's.

Specialized Skills:

He doesn't have any specialized skills at the moment, but his sense abilities have always been strong, ever since he was born.

You only need to mention special Force powers here that are found on THIS LIST. Otherwise you can leave it blank.

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 4
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 5
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 2
Melee Weapons: 2
Ranged Weapons: 1

Same as the Force stats; your physical stats are way too high for a toddler. 5 would be average speed for an adult. Aren wouldn't have that. He would also likely not have 4 in strength for that matter. The 7 in intelligence, while Aren may be a smart kid, you will have to do A LOT more with your bio to justify that. You're going to need to add to your bio to justify pretty much any numbers you put down, so you might want to start throwing up some zeros. He is 4, after all.

That's all for right now. Good luck with your profile, sparta. Always good to see more Younglings.

[.:Falcon:.]

Hiya sparta. I'm not a mod, but Imma go through your bio anyway and just give you some thoughts and suggestions.

Kudos for being brave enough to make a four year old. That's a tough thing to attempt.

Now then. I know Aren is only four. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't give him a thorough description and well-rounded personality. Will his personality change as he grows? Of course. But you can still tell us how he is right now, and what he looks like as a four year old. Is he chubby, thin, painfully skinny? How does he hold himself? How does this

I'd suggest his sense stat come down--a lot--and his destruction stat be bumped down to 0. There's no reason for a four year old Jedi youngling to have a 2 in destruction. In fact, as Cain said, most of your Force stats could just be put on 0, because he's not been trained yet.

On his attributes: his intelligence could stand to be brought down, again by a lot. Remember, he's four. He's barely to the point where he can put together the logical processes of cause and effect, even if he is a Jedi. Same with his speed. And hold it on his weapons stats. There's no way a four year old is that good with his body or a blaster or a sword, especially since he's not been trained. Either make him older or bump those down.

Basically, to sum up your stats: you have the stats of an older teenager, not a young child. Not even a kid on the cusp of being a padawan could hope for those kinds of stats. And yes, your character has a Force attunement. If he has 2 in destruction and 6 in sense, he's got a Force attunement.

On to your bio--how did the Jedi find Aren? The Republic has no presence on Tatooine, and even the finding of Anakin in the movies was a complete accident. I'd suggest moving him from Tatooine to another, more main-stream planet.

That's it I noticed. I'd say just give this a lot of love and expansion, bring him down to a more realistic four-year-old level (or put his age higher), and make him a good, well-rounded character. Good luck, and I can't wait to see Aren around the Temple!

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Still working on this?

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Moving to Incomplete.