Change of Heart

[Reisier]

There were times Anahid could not sleep -- it was too quiet. In the stillness of tender nights, underneath the security of the skies above, the Jedi forced herself to stay awake, a listless hand curled against her saber. Silence meant danger – silence meant death; it meant blood and nightmares and regret. Silence meant that her mind was free to do its bidding, working restlessly into the night, and bringing haunting dreams of fanciful flight filled with garbled corpses and condemning stares. Even in light of a new dawn, morning did little to appease her horrors – daylight meant thinking, and remembering, and guilt. Silence meant guilt, though, Anahid was now unsure of how the two connected anymore. Death and Silence, Silence and Guilt, Guilt and Failure. They always came together, ones appearance meant the others’ subsequent arrival, but which led which? Which came first? Were they twins, occurring nightmares that manifest at the same time – mimicking each other – inviting each other? Or, was it possible they were one and the same? She didn’t know, nor did she care to know – why would it matter? It would change nothing at all.

Silence reigned supreme throughout the darkened room, its deafening presence married by the occasional scuffle of feet against the floor. Light filtered through the cranny between the door and floor, allowing a thin, translucent shingles to bounce playfully across the floor. Behind the closed door the meditation chamber sat proud, mostly empty, save for the four futons that lay in a circle on the ground. Steady breaths came undisturbed, an easy, monotonous rhythm that tried to keep the Jedi still. Her legs were crossed, left foot resting on her right thigh, her right foot resting on her left – arms were extended, palms facing up as they rested easily against her knees. Her head was tilted upward, toes slightly pointed, breaths coming easier than before. Every breath taken seemed to soothe her tired being; and so, after hours of sitting in quiet solitude, Anahid Reisier brought her head down. But the pain remained, the thoughts could still not be exorcised – she was a failure.

Of course she was a failure, that much she already knew. She was unworthy – everything she touched crumbling between her fingers sooner or later; she just didn’t seem to get it right. It shouldn’t surprise her she wasn’t strong enough to save her master -- no wonder she couldn’t preserve the lives she sought to protect. Maybe she hadn’t pushed herself hard enough or fast enough – or maybe she had pushed herself too much. But, did it really matter? No. It was too late – too late to change, to admit her errors, to save lives. All she could do now was attempt to recover herself, find her way in the Force once more – or attempt to, at the very least. But time and time again, she found her spirit unwilling to comply, instead fighting the Force with every ounce of her being. Anahid was not sure when this had first begun, but for years now she increasingly felt like a Youngling, struggling to get her emotions under control. But she couldn’t; her body would not allow it. Instead of her muscles relaxing as her body lowered to a meditation pose, her muscles tensed – her heart beat faster, her breathing quickening with each passing second. The Knight could only hope that this all would fade away once peace came; that it would disappear the day her missions came without violence, without blood. Anahid hoped for the days her missions turned into simple negotiations and politics over agricultural issues and not over armies, assaults, or unnecessary civilian casualties. But, not yet – it would be long before that – much too long.

Anahid frowned as the thoughts burst through the back of her mind – they were still there. Regardless of how much she tried, the Knight seemed unable to escape the darkness that haunted her being – it was not hate, she figured, but disappointment to herself and disgust to what the war had turned her into. It was a maddening echo that reverberated in the back of her head – it never left her, it was always there. Waiting for her next restless night, waiting for her weakness to strike.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Weapons Master Teer Ka moved briskly through the halls of the Jedi Temple, contemplating everything on her proverbial plate, and not enjoying it. It had come to her attention that she'd been considered for the High Council, and shortly thereafter had come the knowledge she was rejected from it.

Rejection was, in her experience, hard to take. She'd faced down dozens of Dark Jedi in her years fighting for the Order, but in all that time she'd only been rejected once, which had been due to her Padawan's fall to the dark side. That had been a very personal rejection, and she could safely say this was the first time Teer had ever had a rejection in her professional life. To say that she was displeased would certainly be true, and possibly be an understatement.

She didn't feel entitled to the seat, but she would have liked the chance to influence the Order, to help them realize the time had come to stand up to the bully of the galaxy, the Sith Empire. They'd rolled over and took the receiving end of violence as if it meant nothing. Dantooine and Rhen Var had fallen, losing many good Jedi in the process, and still the Order refused to recognize it was at war. It would have been nice to campaign for those enclaves to be retaken.

Teer wanted to see Dantooine again, to roam in the enclave she'd grown up in, to walk barefoot in the grassy hills once more. She had many memories of that planet, good memories, and it was a gnawing wound, festering even, that every day went by with Sith on Dantooine rather than Jedi. That wasn't right, and she longed for the day when the Republic and the Jedi would sweep back in force and retake the planet. Then new generations of Jedi would learn the ways of the Force there as she had fifty years ago.

Of course now her opinion carried little weight. She knew what people said about her, dismissing her as a paranoid old bat, or worse. She'd killed over thirty Dark Jedi with her lightsaber and still she didn't command enough respect at home in the Jedi Temple. That had been one of her problems ever since she'd come there, dealing with insubordinate Jedi. There were lying Younglings, deceitful Padawans, and those who were outright defiant. And everywhere there was a galling refusal to recognize the facts of the galaxy.

There was a war. Not only between the Republic and the Sith, but also between light and dark. That battle would never be over, and it was up to Jedi like her to fight the forces of darkness with every fiber of their being while the Council twiddled its collective thumbs and discussed the morality of going to war, of recognizing what already was.

Maybe it was time for Teer Ka to join the Blades after all. At least they were doing something. That was just another thought of many as she keyed open the door to a quiet meditation room and promptly froze a step inside the door.

Before her, seated on one of the cushions in a meditation position Teer herself frequented was a girl. She had dark hair and brown eyes, and smooth light skin in a peach shade very dissimilar to Teer's rusty orange. She was wearing Jedi robes of a cut and color very much akin to the raiment the Togruta Jedi wore herself, which were quite standard.

Apparently the room was already taken, and Master Ka frowned internally at her own sloppiness. She had razor sharp senses, and if she'd been using them instead of brooding on her latest failure then she would have noticed the room had an occupant. It was a mess on her part.

The Togruta Weapons Master sighed internally before speaking in her slightly stern and rather husky voice, tinged with a subtle Togruti accent. "I intruded, please excuse me."

She turned to leave.

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

Gharassk had felt his master trying to reach out to him before he went to bed. Trying to convince him to turn and join him. Gharassk was not going to give in he knew if he could feel him he was on the planet and it was because his master wanted him to find him. I'm not going to give in to the Dark Side as you did Master! His master's presence still stayed reaching for him. His master inserted images into Gharassk's mind of a crashed Republic ship, Gharassk recognized the Ship it had gone missing three weeks ago near Rodia.

The images where of the people on the ship dieing and of pain. Then his masters presence stopped he had left the world Or no longer wanted to commune with Gharassk. He knew Gharassk would try and go with or with out help Gharassk knew the Council would not let him go and help, They would see it as helping in the war. But as soon as Gharassk sat his head on his pillow and shut his eyes he could not sleep his conscience would not let him rest without helping those people... Innocent people.

He sat up Knowing it would be wrong not to help but how could he convince any one to help him or convince the council to side with him.
He had known they would not allow him to leave even to help those in need of the Jedi.

He walked over to his Data Pad and typed in the H.N.N looking for the Report on the Ship that went missing they knew it was some where near Rodia But the images where on Rodia. He knew where they where and the Republic did not.

Sleep was out of the question for Gharassk now he had to work on a way to convince other Jedi or the council it self to help him and let him go.

He walked to his Lightseber on his night stand He clipped it to his belt and left his room passing the lunch room he had met Vance and Anahid only a few days ago. He went in but not to stay. He got some juice and some Nerf Beacon then left the room to find a quiet place to think.

Gharassk then went to the Gardens but that effort was in vain he was not in the mood to go out into the colder night. His bare feet felt the cold rush in as he approached the gardens as it was, so he continued to the meditation chambers to see one of the only open ones had a Togruta of his own race standing in the door way he could tell once again that the person had something on her mind but he could not tell what yet again he could not explain how he was feeling this possibly again because she had something of the same origin on her mind. Gharassk had decided not to intervene until he walked past to see Anahid was already in the room as well. Gharassk picked up on her emotions being similar to his as well but again not telling at all what was on her mind despite trying his hardest. However being how Anahid seemed to not listen to some of the advice Gharassk had spoken on there last meeting he did not think it wise to say any thing but something in his mind told him to continue and ask.

Was this meeting formed by the force as well? he thought so just as it had formed his last meeting with Anahid even though she did not see it it was clear to Gharassk was he supposed to learn from her or perhaps from the Togruta in the door? Gharassk hoped not he had promised not to take a master that did not have he same beliefs and he knew from there last meeting that Anahid did not share those beliefs.

He remained silent knowing his presence was most likely known but still it would have been rude to speak while the others had been. He put each hand in the others sleeve and waited tell the time was right.

[Reisier]

Anahid could feel something lightly pressing on the back of her head, but she could care less; as far as she was concerned, this was the most relaxed she had been in a while, and she wasn’t about to allow her wild imagination to take over again. As much as the pressing thoughts continued to dance and heckle her, Anahid wasn’t particular worried. At the moment, very few things could make her worry enough to have her pay attention to the oppressing sensation.

She pushed the feeling back, opting to ignore it – it would go away, she figured, only to come back another day. Second after second passed and the only movement she made was to pull her arms from her knees and unto her lap. The woman could now feel the sensation growing stronger – a pinch followed. The tan-complexioned female shifted a bit more, now partially more aware, but made no effort to open her eyes and follow the sensation. It would go away – she was convinced of it. She shifted her weight slightly and opened her eyes, a heavy breath finally parting from her lips. She straightened up slightly, her back rolling into a more relaxed position – but, it was as she uncrossed her legs and allowed her shoulders to relax, that the woman found the silence interrupted as the door besides her hissed open.

Anahid’s head snapped up, the sudden interruption catching her by surprise. It was at this very moment that the sensation previously felt came back on a two-fold – the pressure increasing in the back of her head. She furrowed her brow, rubbing at her temples before a husky voice interrupted, "I intruded, please excuse me."[/color] The Jedi turned; a fine tonality of red met her dark eyes and soon identified the intruder as a Togruta. Both in stature and appearance the woman was impressive – a figure that commanded both attention and respect. She was beautiful, Anahid would admit, but most of all she was impressive. In age she did not appear to be particularly old, no older than thirty-five by her standards; her stern eyes and stiff posture, however, soon told Anahid that the woman was a superior to her, a Master, at the very least.

Anahid smiled apologetically as she rose to a stance, her voice coming out as a gentle rumble. “It is no intrusion at all, Master,”[/color] She started keenly, motioning towards the practically empty room, “…I actually had just finished my meditation.”[/color] She gave a slight groan and shifted, stretching her legs and hanging them from the futon. For comfort, she stood up, keeping her arms hanging lazily at her side. “Please feel free to use the room I--”[/color] She had been mostly unaware of anyone other than the female Togruta, so Anahid was pleasantly surprised when she noticed one of the Padawans she had met the night before. What was his name again? Gassharak? No, Gharassk – yes, that sounded about right. Anahid greeted him with a smile, a small nod added in his direction. Ah, it seemed that fate was indeed playing a small trick on them yet again – after last night, she was unsure of whether she would see either again.

“Good day, young Gharassk,”[/color] She smiled, “…it seems several of us have had the same idea today – yet, I do hope it is nothing terrible that clouds either of your minds.”[/color]

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer could feel another presence coming up from behind, something made possible by both her awareness in the Force and her species' natural sensory abilities, and she turned her head to see who it was. As it happened, it was one of her own race, a young male. He was clad in the robes of the Jedi, and his feet were bare even as her own were in boots.

She gave him a cursory nod before looking back to the young woman, who was dismissing her presence as not an intrusion. The Togruta Weapons Master didn't need to hear anything else before stepping inside the room and lowering herself onto one of the cushioned sofas. Promptly she slid off her black boots and placed them at the base of the cushion, wiggling her orange toes that had grown stiff inside the shoes. She folded her legs up over each other and detached her lightsaber from her belt, placing the saberstaff in her lap. As she did, she continued to listen to the woman.

Nothing terrible.

The galaxy was filled to the brim with terrible. Every day there was the loss of life, the continued existence of darkness. There were famines, there were massacres, there were pandemics, and everywhere was the war, looming over the galaxy. It all came back to the war, the way it always did.

What was the role of the Jedi? Wasn't it as peacekeepers? They were sworn to defend the Republic, so why was it that they were sitting idly by and allowing the Sith to threaten the stability of the whole galaxy? From Yaga Minor to Rhen Var, the Republic and the Jedi had been under assault. Yet no one seemed to realize that.

Yes, there were the Blades of the Order who fought, but they hardly seemed active enough. The bulk of the Jedi Order was stagnant, and the very tip of the sword wasn't enough to turn the tide of the war. Those on the Council were responsible for this. It was their fault, and they were accountable for the losses of Dantooine and Rhen Var. They were responsible for every consecutive day those hallowed enclaves remained in twisted hands.

That came close to infuriating Teer.

"Only the challenge of the times we live in," Teer answered as she closed her eyes and focused on the lightsaber in her lap. She grasped it with her mind and bade it to rise, and the long metallic cylinder hovered upward, level with her eyes and parallel to the solid floor. It was an instrument of meditation as much as a weapon.

"There can be no denying we are on the precipice of disaster now, and some lack the discernment to see it and react accordingly."

Her husky voice was calm, but icy. Her words were fiery.

Sooner or later she'd act of her own accord. She'd have to.

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

Gharassk had let the force bring him here. And as nothing 'Seemed' to call to him any further he began to turn away. Second Guessing himself until Anahid asked, "I do hope it is nothing terrible that clouds either of your minds." Gharassk stopped And began to turn back around He wondered if she still felt the force was idle.
He was aware it worked in strange Wase but it still guided us every day.

Anahid, He said half smiling but still respectful, You know the only reason i would have even seen you is because the force arranged it, He steeped back to the door way to hear the other master already seated with saber lifted to her face.

"There can be no denying we are on the precipice of disaster now, and some lack the discernment to see it and react accordingly." She said.
Did she share Gharassk's beliefs? Was the force telling him to go to Rodia? He could not say for sure as of yet but the force was surely at least telling him to stay.

Gharassk did not like titles, but for now that was all he could call this master by was a title.

Tell me what is your view on the war?... He asked as he steeped into the room he said it as if asking a name. He stopped on the in side of the room wondering if he should shut the door behind him.

[Reisier]

The words that reached her cut through her like a knife; the Master’s stern words reverberating through her mind as a sharp staccato. The galaxy was nearing the precipice of disaster, yes, inching closer every day as lives were claimed by the ongoing war.

“There can be no denying we are on the precipice of disaster now, and some lack the discernment to see it and react accordingly."

Anahid frowned upon the idea of war – the Jedi were never meant to be killers – but despite what she said or thought, little could be said to change their current position: War was upon them. However, she still found the Jedi’s involvement questionable. While they were required to become involved in trying times, the Jedi were meant to preserve life, to ensure the security of all – yet, here they were, taking the lives of dark users without hesitation and, in the opinion of some Master’s, at all costs – friendly casualties in missions were not unheard of, after all. And while she smiled contently and bowed her head respectfully, Anahid could never accept this – at least not without disputing it. Now, within the serenity of the meditation room, the Jedi found herself opposing the beliefs of another, of a master, nonetheless. Yes, the Togruta’s words were frank; there was no denying the severity of the situation, but was violence the undisputable answer?

“But, isn’t it at times like these, master, that the Jedi should act with the greatest precaution?” Her words were soft and without malice, as Anahid gently propped a hand against her hip, “Is it not possible that it is not an inability to discern the course of action, but rather a weariness to make the right decision?” She grew silent for a minute – Anahid couldn’t help but wonder what would happen once the war was done. Would she continue to be Anahid Reisier or would she have become someone else? Would she be able to freely secrete the emotions that impair the judgment of the mind? Would he embrace these emotions, love them, cherish them, and eventually allow them to dictate the very essence of her being? Or would she stop, altogether, the war claiming the best of her being and leave her instead, an empty shell, unable to see life for what it had once been. She had wondered; how she had wondered!

A heavy sigh escaped her hand instinctively reaching down to her side, looking for the security that had led her through so many times. The bitter cold of the metal hilt spread through the tips of her fingers as she graced the smooth surface. Yet, despite the coldness that caused her fingers to recoil slightly, regardless of the fear that made her mind ache, she held unto the saber as if it were a preserver and she, a drowning man. The stark room echoed with her weary, beleaguered sigh. She was not afraid of dying, you see; however, she was terrified of how the ways she could die. Would it be a gentle death, brought to her by the sands of time, or, in this case, would it be a beast so wicked, so foul, that it would destroy all of her humanity? Was there really so little they could do considering the circumstances?

“Anahid,” She turned at the sound of her name, meeting the gaze of the younger Togruta, “You know the only reason I would have even seen you is because the force arranged it,” She smiled at the thought – a delicate, whimsical thought that maybe held a sense of truth.

“Perhaps you are right,”[/color] Hours seemed to pass as she brought her hands up from her side; in reality, however, it was no more than a couple of seconds. “…but there is really no telling if it were dictated or not.”[/color]

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer's comment received not one, but three questions. Apparently she was controversial now, which didn't particularly bother her. Her opinions were well-known to many, and guarding them wouldn't serve much of a purpose. In that spirit, she decided to start with the first question.

"The Jedi Order can no longer sit idly by and pretend the war doesn't involve us. We are sworn as the defenders of the Republic, and it is time for us to fulfill our obligations. I believe it is time for us to march to war."

Teer had successfully kept that answer very succinct, and she was hoping to speed through the woman's two questions just as easily, though they were more delicate. She had to avoid speaking ill of the High Council, to be a respectful servant.

"Caution and prompt action are hardly contradictory young Knight. My entire life has been prompt action, and I'm still alive due to being cautious. Both are essential for my work."

The silver lightsaber hilt continued to hover at eye level, not having moved a single inch. Master Ka's telekinetic control hadn't wavered, and was firm and constant still. However, her meditation was hardly progressing as intended. It was hard to wall off her mind and organize her thoughts while engaged in a conversation. Instead, she focused on breath control and her telekinesis, working to calm herself more deeply. That would suffice for now.

"A weariness to do what is inevitable," Teer continued in a perfectly calm voice, "Is even more inexcusable. Every day of delay hurts the Republic and eases the burden of the Sith. If our leaders know what must be done and refuse to do it... Then I lament the status of our Order."

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

"The Jedi Order can no longer sit idly by and pretend the war doesn't involve us. We are sworn as the defenders of the Republic, and it is time for us to fulfill our obligations. I believe it is time for us to march to war."

So this Teer shared Gharassk's views of the war, even to the point of the fact that the Jedi swore to protect the vary Republic that they are not helping.

Gharassk let out a sigh at the thought of the council sitting idly upon there tower looking down upon the fortress they think is unstop able.

Gharassk let the two woman continue to speak though Anahid was right, his mind was not all here, it was back on Rodia to the vision he had seen thanks to his former master's doing. He knew that they needed help and no one could do any thing about it, Gharassk was helpless his heart sank thinking about the lives he should save if he only disobey the council.
That however was the thinking his old master wanted.

His mind stood as idle as the council was, but not by choice, he had no choice but to sit and wait. For how long?

[Reisier]

The Master’s words were clear, the softness that other masters held, she replaced with keen observation and knowledge motivated by experience. The Master had seen many years of battle, whether it be in war or otherwise, her thought process developed by an ability to act quickly and precisely. Yet, was Anahid wrong in thinking that perhaps the Master’s keen knowledge and undisputable experience making her forget how the Order had changed? Since the rumor of war had begun to reach their ears, the Order had begun acting more rashly – Jedi were sent far and wide in hopes of finding that the rumors were nothing more than an exaggerated tale; yet, here they were now, surrounded by countless of lost peers, war threatening to explode. And while she sought the end of the war before it began, Anahid was less keen when it came to the thought of battle – to take another life, no matter if it were a foe’s, was it not violating everything she had been taught?

“But are we not protectors, sworn to respect all life? Waging a war, surely, cannot be what is expected of the Jedi.”[/color]

The words escaped her before she was able to stop herself, the sour taste of her recklessness lingering on her lips. She didn’t meant any disrespect, nor did she meant to come across as a hot-head – in fact, she was quite the contrary – the woman was careful with what she said, the words carefully weight before leaving her. She lowered her gaze and uttered a quick apology as she delivered a small bow. But, as she talked about it, she did not feel particularly sorry; in fact, it truly reflected what the woman felt. The war was unnecessary – the Order’s involvement would only destroy everything they had sworn to become, and even more, it only reassured Anahid that no one, not one soul, really knew what should be done or how the war would compromise the integrity of the Jedi.

Her heart dropped – it was clear, that the Jedi and Sith were not so different – why was it that they couldn’t compromise, reach an agreement of sort – one that would allow them to live peacefully not one that would cause them to spiral out of control and into their unavoidable demise. The status of the Order was lamentable, though, Anahid was sure that her and the Master’s reasons for the belief were utterly different.

“I am sorry for any interruption, my Master, I will leave you to your meditation – there is much in your mind, I see.”[/color]

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer fixed a withering gaze on the Knight, the kind she usually reserved for errant youth who questioned her, or those doubting naysayers who scoffed at what she taught. It was her most serious face, with a set jaw and both dark eyes narrowed.

"Protecting the trillions of lives at stake in the galaxy based on this war is showing more respect than sitting idly by and allowing them to suffer and watching the Republic crumble. We are the sworn defenders of the Republic, the keepers of the peace, and if that means fighting a war then we should. It is our duty."

Duty was a word Master Teer Ka took very seriously. Life was a series of responsibilities, and loyalty was what held the Republic and the Jedi together. Fidelity to concepts, governments, and principles was essential, and obeying the leaders was crucial. One of the things she'd been taught was that the Jedi Order wasn't a cloistered group of monks, that they were the keepers of peace and the guardians of justice, the men and women responsible for the safety of the Republic. They were like a police force in a way, but they were also warriors.

She couldn't see how the Council could so easily shirk their obligations, abridge their loyalty to the Republic, and sit idly by while the Sith waged a war against them.

Young Jedi like this didn't aid the problem any. Endless debating over the ethics of war wouldn't change the essential need for it, and it would only delay the inevitable. If more Jedi clamored to defend the Republic...

The Blades.

Perhaps it was time to head to their new headquarters on Seraphim and join them in fighting the war. Someone had to do it, and the majority of the Councilors were unwilling, and Knights like this one probably had opinions of themselves that were too high, they placed themselves above combat and thought their lofty ideals exempted them.

Maybe Teer would have to do it by herself.

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

Gharassk had not spoke up yet due to him thinking it impolite, they where still talking and Gharassk was still thinking. Death was on his footstep if he went he could help but was it worth it?

Gharassk knew he and this Teer where correct the war was in a sense the Jedi's fault, the Jedi could have stopped it before this many lives where lost, but they didn't.

He also knew it would be wrong to go agents them, he had hit an inpass with himself, What am i going to do? He thought to himself, though the words only came as a whisper out of his own mouth.

He slightly bit his lip he had heard himself speak aloud and with such a small room he knew the others where bound to have heard it as well.

He shut his eyes and waited to see if any one commented or if they even heard him, it was possible that they did not hear him over themselves.

[Reisier]

Anahid's eyes met the Master’s unwavering gaze; her severe eyes boring deeply into her own, clear and utter disapproval expressed towards her younger counterpart. The air felt heavy – heavy and stale, the female’s voice reflecting the environment that surrounded them. Her lips pursed tightly as she heard the woman speak, reflecting more of a reprimand than a conversation. Anahid’s averted gaze and tense shoulders, only increasing the appearance of it.

Even in the wakefulness of the Togruta’s experienced insight, a thing in the nebulous darkness in the back of her head prevented her from listening, instead ripping and tearing her mind apart. Worry began to creep under her skin – determination dragged out of her body – weakening, dying, being forgotten. It was so hard to remain calm with her severe words and equally stern voice, so very, very hard. Even breaths tried to maintain her composure. Be still, my heart, be still.

The woman moved uncomfortably at the words, clearly disconcerted. But was it fair to force their hands in battle, to force them to take a life? The Jedi Order had been far too involved in this war, were they not, why was it that so many lives had been taken? Why was it that so many Jedi had lost their lives fighting a nonexistent war? How was it possible for the Master to speak so forcefully, while still the reasons for battle were still so unclear? Similarly to the conversations she had but a few days ago, would this Master would be willing to take a struggling life, doing only what the Force had dictated for it to do, to maintain another? A death for life?

“You are right, master, forgive my insolence.”[/color] She softly, her body lowered lightly as she gave a bow. “…But while I respect your opinion and that of the Order, and while I will carry on my duty, I cannot say that I agree.”[/color] She meant no disregard for the female’s knowledge, nor did she mean any impertinence; but she could not lie – her expression and manners making her thoughts clear. In saying that she fully agreed with either, the Knight would be lying, promising something while her heart was still not fully aware of what it wanted to do. Anahid knew this much – the war was not meant for her.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer sighed as the very young Knight voiced her disagreement again. She was really quite contrary, probably young enough that the idealism hadn't faded away. Teer had once had a degree of idealism, though hardly the bright-eyed variety that seemed so common. She'd had delusions about honorable combat, and believed there were limits to what could be done in a fight.

Once on Felucia she'd lowered her guard against a disarmed opponent and nearly been killed by powerful force lightning. Her first Padawan had come in search of her, and dragged her away from the site, saving her life. But that experience had ruined her idealism. After that she realized there was no honor to be found in battle.

And there was hardly any glory.

She was under no delusions that there was any glory to be found in fighting the Sith. Only the leadership was given any mind in history books. How many of Revan's followers had won renown? How many ordinary Jedi were memorialized? She was just another one in the rank and file, and even if she did join the Blades, she doubted there would be as much prominence. If she couldn't get on the Council, what was the chance she'd have any more prominence elsewhere?

No chance to change things, no way to have an impact on the war. Not even her own private war against the Dark Jedi had left more than a trace outline, a footprint in the sand soon to be washed away by the unrelenting tide. She'd killed over thirty, and captured twice that. Perhaps there were a hundred victories against other Force-users. Despite all that, it was like bailing out the ocean with a teaspoon. Part of her craved recognition, desperate to hear words of thanks and praise for all she'd done. A little admiration would have done wonders, but instead she'd had people lie to her and disrespect her, and she was surrounded by people she didn't know her and who didn't know her in return.

Sometimes it was hard to be the strong one.

"You should," Teer said wearily as she closed her eyes again, "Trust in my experience. I cannot teach if the young refuse to learn. I feel as though all I have done is of limited use, like no one listens. Everyone else has their own opinions, and they refuse to listen. Yes yes, they all 'respect' other opinions, but in the end of the day they don't trust experience. I've dedicated my life to a goal that can never be completed, and when something possible emerges... Then others sit idly by and endlessly debate it, and all the while you are powerless to do a single thing about it."

An orange-skinned hand reached up and plucked the lightsaber, bringing it back down to rest in her lap, slender fingers tracing every detail on the metallic cylinder. At least she had her weapon.

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

"You should, Trust in my experience. I cannot teach if the young refuse to learn. I feel as though all I have done is of limited use, like no one listens. Everyone else has their own opinions, and they refuse to listen. Yes yes, they all 'respect' other opinions, but in the end of the day they don't trust experience. I've dedicated my life to a goal that can never be completed, and when something possible emerges... Then others sit idly by and endlessly debate it, and all the while you are powerless to do a single thing about it."

Gharassk wanted to speak but found that the words where not for him.
Specifically it was for Anahid the one who was not sure of the war.
Gharassk could see her point taking lives was not what Gharassk wanted either, However in this case it was necessary Other wise you would condemn the Innocent to death as if saying they where not important enough to protect from the rising darkness.

Gharassk tried to Focus on his images from Rodia that his former master implanted in his mind. He knew he would have to disobey the council if he went unless they for once agreed with him.

He also knew he would be walking into a trap if he left for Rodia.
His Rodian former master 'Gwaldosa' Chose Rodia for a reason, It was his own homworld? No, Remote? Maybe.

The force once again brought Gharassk to this meeting, Teer, Anahid, All in one room discussing the same matter on Gharassk's own mind was not a accident.

However The people who crashed needed a Jedi and Gharassk could not leave it to chance that someone would find them for some reason the force had chosen Gharassk to be privy of this information, and he would not forsake it.

He then opend his eyes and sat there waiting for his time to speak up.