Find What's Inside (Open)

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Three Days Previously

Varulla'aba sat in her customary chair and looked over everything displayed on the large datapad and frowned, looking very unhappy. She had cause this time. Good cause.

Yet another job had been lost, as a maid at a hotel. Luckily there'd been no sexual harassment this time, just unfair standards and expectations that had resulted in a resignation rather than a firing.

And that, combined with Donnie's pregnancy, had put a major damper on finances. She estimated that inside two weeks they'd be out of money, and behind on the rent.

That made Var feel desperate.

Desperate Var was not happy Var by any stretch of the imagination, but she couldn't very well talk about it. Donnie wasn't likely to understand the nuances of home finance, and even if she did, she'd probably lecture Var on the importance of getting and holding a job.

The woman with alabaster skin climbed out of her chair and exited the apartment, walking through the streets of Ahto City with a glum look, wondering what exactly to do. Rob a bank? Turn to a life of crime? She could try her hand at bounty hunting?

Varulla'aba. Slender Twi'lek, petite and weak, going around capturing fugitives.

Granted she'd started rebuilding her lightsaber, but it still wasn't a good idea.

She didn't get a good idea until she saw a poster tacked up to a wall, and then she got a crazy idea.

Season Opener Swoop Race: 20,000 Credit Grand Prize.

The wheels in Var's head started turning, and desperation started building. Donnie had a swoop on the bucket, Var could undoubtedly borrow it. Without asking.

If she won it wasn't as if Donnie could show that much disapproval. And there were second and third place cash prizes as well. Even if she placed at all she'd be bound to impress Doneeda.

It was worth a shot.

The Present

Varulla'aba stood alone in the racing pits with Donnie's red swoop, which she'd spent the night before familiarizing herself with. She hadn't been able to sleep well at all, and now she was banking entirely on luck. If fate wanted her to win, she'd win. All she had to do was do her best.

The Twi'lek woman waited until her first heat was ready to be run, then she walked the swoop out to the starting line before the interior track, remembering what she'd been told.

Aim for the accelerator pads, avoid the obstacles.

Simple enough, yet hard to do.

Var swung her leg up over the seat and gripped the throttle nervously, watching the lights. Red, yellow, green, go.

Upon throttling up, the swoop shot forward rapidly, streaking along with forces that Var hadn't begun to anticipate in her slow session the night before. Immediately she found it handle differently, as she missed the first accelerator by a foot.

She leaned to the side and the swoop darted across the track and hit the other accelerator, then swung to the middle and hit another. She focused intently on the track, letting her Jedi training kick in. Don't anticipate, let the Force flow through you. Let it control your actions, and let it follow your commands.

Balance guided her hands on the controls as she saw the obstacles without seeing them, weaving around and avoiding the obstacles, striking the accelerators, and leaving those watching on the viewscreen astonished.

The announcers were wild.

And newcomer Dia Amersu is racing through the track! This first-time racer is blowing past the previous riders! Look at her go!

The spectators cheered, but Var didn't notice. Not until after she streaked across the finish line and braked. She dismounted the swoop and stared at the crowds standing and cheering, children waving, and suddenly she felt something new, something she'd never felt before.

It was the sense that she was... a hero.

She had pride now, and she beamed in the cheers. It was the very first time Var had truly been praised for doing something, for doing anything. She'd fallen short of the mark so many times that she'd been convinced she was useless, but not now.

A Rodian man walked over and clapped her on the shoulder.

"No one is going to beat that time. Go say hello to your fans Dia."

The pale Twi'lek nodded feebly with big green eyes, and she walked off the track, standing by the crowds and shaking hands, even signing autographs.

Soon Eleanor was on her shoulder, the large raven perched there and cawing when someone came too close, though Var did her best to soothe her.

This was the best day of her life.

[Zarkana]

Manaan, an ancient and historic world covered in a singular ocean, with many being drawn to Ahto City, the largest of the floating cities built by the Selkath. It was months after Avy had achieved the rank of Master, and while she usually stayed in the Jedi Archives she figured she had earned some time to go off world and seek out knowledge on other planets. Manaan just happened to be one of those planets, a place touched by history, by both the Republic and Sith in a time since gone. The only source of Kolto in the known galaxy, which in itself was enough to peek the curiosity of Avy whom wanted to know what made it possible that it was the only world in the galaxy where Kolto could be harvested. So many questions and for a time she had more than enough time to spend on it.

Avy stepped off the shuttle ramp as she looked around the hanger, noticing the other various ships that had come from across the galaxy. She knew the planet was well known for its swoop track, a sight which she figured she should take a look at when she had the time, or rather if she had the time to stop by to see the riders run the track. As she walked through the streets quietly, minding her own business as she stopped at a few of the stalls and looked at what they had for sell, picking up a piece of fruit before she dropped a couple of the credits down and walked towards one of the higher viewing stands of the swoop track.

It was there that she felt something odd, something that told her another force user was near and she was more than intrigued as to whom it was that was drawing her closer as she found an empty seat, sitting and leaning back as she crossed one leg over the other. Ever the mother figure she smiled at a little girl who was staring at her before she leaned forward and handed the small piece of fruit to her and sent her off back to her parents, watching as the girl ran off to her parents while Avy leaned back in the seat and focused her attention back to the track, leaning forward as she could feel the force flowing through the girl as she ran the course.

With a loud cheering and victorious shouts Avy smirked lightly before she stood up and began to move away from the crowd. She wanted to meet the girl though that she had just watched, wanting to know where she was trained as Avy slowly walked down the steps towards the lower area of the track.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

In between signing slips of paper with a pen she'd been given, Var noticed something. It wasn't something hugely dramatic, as her senses were still rather weak and never living up to what she'd always been told was her 'full potential.' Nevertheless, there was something there. A presence.

Var looked around with worry, knowing that the presence of a Force user was likely to mean one of two things.

Either there was a Jedi or a Sith here, in the crowd. It was likely they were here to take her back to prison, or to kill her for leaving the ranks of the Sith Order. Unless it was a chance coincidence, which she wasn't sure she believed in.

She still hadn't rebuilt her lightsaber.

The pale Twi'lek woman suddenly felt squeamish inside, like everything was about to collapse at the best moment of her life, and she wanted to cry out loudly that it wasn't fair, that she'd wanted something so much better for herself, for her life. Here she was at her ultimate high, and it was all about to be dashed to pieces.

And she couldn't do a single thing about it.

Panic welled up inside, but she remained there stoically signing autographs and shaking hands, right up until a purple Twi'lek in Jedi robes started to approach. It was all Var could do not to bolt.

Instead when the woman arrived, Var closed her eyes for a few short seconds and asked one question.

"Can we go outside for this? Please."

[Zarkana]

As she made her way towards the track though Avy had seen the same little girl from before, a piece of paper and a pen hugged close to her chest as she looked up at her parents, the three having difficulty getting through the crowd. Avy could only smile as she picked up her small girl and smiled before she made her way through the crowd, by the time the other Twilek saw her and the crowd moved some Avy's hand was holding the little girls hand with her parents behind her as she lift up the small girl, her arms reaching out as she held the pad of paper and the pen to the swoop rider, a giggly smile on her face as she asked for an autograph while exclaiming she would be a swoop rider one day.

Avy looked to the young twilek, feeling that it was her that she was drawn to before the swoop race. When the little girl had her autograph Avy smiled and handed the small girl back to her mother and smiled at the couple as they walked away. She looked back to the twilek when she asked the question. "I'm not here for anyone." Avy gave a small smile and nod before she left the track, she wasnt there to arrest any rouge or run away Jedi. She was there to learn about the world and nothing more.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Much to her surprise, the Jedi lifted up a little girl to receive an autograph, and Var completed her signature on the piece of paper. Only then did she ease her way out of the crowd, followed by the Jedi, who had said she wasn't here for her.

Years as a Dark Jedi and a brief stint as a Sith had made Var paranoid and suspicious, and she always tended to see the worst in others rather than the best. She wasn't quite prepared to accept that a Jedi could be here for some reason other than her arrest, that they could just be there for a polite conversation.

Yet this woman seemed reasonable, and Var was hoping maybe she could persuade her to leave her in peace with promises of good behavior. She could and she would beg, anything to stay out of that hellhole she'd been in for months.

As soon as they were outside the main room, in an out of the way balcony opening onto an ocean view, the pale young Twi'lek turned and clasped her hands together.

Var closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, fighting the wave of emotion inside her, the conflicting currents of her great victory and the sense of dread that threatened to take it all away. Now wasn't the time to play it cool or to try to play cards she didn't have. There was nothing to gain by bluffing, and much to lose. Her own skills were so limited she might be read like a book by a skilled telepath, so there was no point to lying.

No, now was the time to be honest and sincere, and to really beg.

"Master Jedi, please don't take me back. I promise I quit the Dark Side, I'm trying to live a good life. I haven't broken any laws, I just want to be in peace for once. Don't take me back to prison, I can't survive there."

[Zarkana]

Avy had already left the room quietly, not drawing attention to herself more than the robes already had. It was the young Twi'lek woman that caught her at the last moment when she turned around to see her following, wondering why she was following her rather than staying and basking in her victory that she had achieved. A quizzical look playing across her face as she brought her hand up and lightly touch her chin while she looked at the young twi'lek. She stood and watched as she clasped her hands together before she began to beg Avy to be left alone, the question still on her mind. Whom was this young woman that she was now begging to be left alone and not taken back to prison as Avy listened quietly before she tapped her chin, much like a mother would while listening to a pleading child. The last thing though that Avy wanted was to see this woman begging as she stepped forward and lightly touched her shoulder.

"Take you back to prison, why would I do such a thing young one? I have no reason to imprison you, nor doubt that you arent living a good life." Avy brought her hand down as she looked at her again and continued to ponder whom this girl was. Crossing her arms over her chest lightly before she tapped her fingers against his arm she looked at the young twi'lek before she leaned forward and looked at her. Avy's eyes on the young womans as she lightly tapped the end of her nose with a small smile.

"Now go back to your celebration, I feel as if I'm taking away your moment that you've earned." Avy smiled at her before she stood up again and ran her hands over her robes, smoothing out the few wrinkles before she looked out over the ocean from the balcony. Turning slowly the robes flowed with ease from a gentle breeze before she began to walk along the balcony, her hand tracing over the railing before she stopped when she saw a little child sitting quietly before she knelled down in front of the small boy, watching him raise his hand up. Avy smiled at him and lightly patted his head before she slid her hand down and brought it back out, having taken a small cred chip from behind the boys ear and watching him brighten up before he jumped up and ran off to find some food to buy.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var blinked a few times, suddenly completely blindsided. The tears she'd felt welling up inside that threatened to come out were now abruptly denied, and she nearly choked on her reply as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"W-What?"

How could it be that a Jedi would so readily believe the word of an Ex-Sith? Var couldn't understand why she was trusted, why this woman was seeing the best in her when she couldn't see it in herself. Looking in a mirror, she was full of hate and anger, mingled with pain and grief, tinged with bitterness. It was the dark aspects Var saw in her reflection, and precious little of the good.

She'd always been one to see the things that went wrong, to notice the bad before the good. Her mentors had all taught her that lesson.

Perhaps if she'd had a Jedi Master like this one instead of Nedar...

It was so easy to blame him, to believe he was solely responsible for her fall. In her heart though, her guilty heart, she knew the blame rested on her slender shoulders. No one else was responsible for her fall. It had been her choice that had ruined her life.

But now this purple Twi'lek was releasing her, just letting the woman in black go on, free and prosperous. It was not the end.

"Thank you..." Var whispered uncertainly as that fact registered on her, repeating the words a little louder and more confidently a second later.

With one final look at the remarkable Jedi strolling down the balcony, Var entered the track once again, smiling and waving, delving straight into the crowd.

Through the crowd came a reporter with a datapad, asking all kinds of questions.

Name. Dia Amersu. Place of birth Ryloth. Emigrant from a poor family, no known relatives. Everything Var had memorized about her new identity came into play.

The next day the name Dia Amersu would become touted on Manaan. Var had finally made a name for herself. A good name.

[Zarkana]

It was a wonderful night on Manaan for Avy, considering she finally found what she had been looking for, and now as she sat quietly in a corner in the back of a large library she just opened a book and slowly flipped through the pages, having found an old record on the history of Manaan. A few whispers made her look up as people passed around data files on the new hot swoop racer as Avy smiled lightly when they noticed she had looked up, before they apologized for their noise before leaving Avy alone. She just returned back to the book before she closed the book cover when she finally finished, standing up and slipping the book back on its shelf before she began to stroll around the library, her finger tips touching the spines of the books as she looked up and watched the scrolling letting of the news, reading the events of the day including the name of the young twilek.

"Dia" she spoke to herself as she watched the news. "Well that's nice that she made a name for herself. It's always nice to see the young people finding their own path." She smiled again before she decided that she should find a place to stay for the night. Stepping out in the fresh night air she looked around and smiled before going her way, walking towards the hotel as her hand touched the handle for the door, about ready to pull it open when she saw the child she had helped earlier curled up on the street.

Avy walked over as she knelled down and looked at the young boy, this time though feeling something different about him as she looked at the child. Her hand brushing the hair away from his face with a smile before she picked him up, remembering what it was like to be out on the street and not wanting to let it happen to another child. This though was starting to turn out into Avy repaying the same kindness shown to her by Caula, as she had now decided that she would bring this child back with her to the Jedi temple as she stepped into the hotel.

A simple room was all she needed as she smiled to the attendant at the front desk before being given her key as she walked down the hall. Stopping at her room and pushing the door open Avy stepped in slowly, flipping the lights on before she sat the child down on the bed and closed the door. It was a few minutes later when she went into the refresher as she filled the tub before looking back to the child and ushering him into the bathroom to go clean up as she had his clothing washed while he cleaned up. The mother in her showing now as she listened to the child playing in the warm bath waters.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

As the sun sank down over the water, Var realized just how big a day this had been. Already she'd collected a chrome trophy, and a customized credit chit to her account filled with her winnings, yet something was holding her back from returning to the apartment.

It was Donnie.

Varulla genuinely wasn't sure what her younger 'sister' would do after seeing the swoop race on the receiver, but she bet it was either an insane hug or being strangled for risking damage to her swoop. It was still too recent for the white Twi'lek to feel comfortable going home with that possible fate dangling on the horizon. She'd stay out a while longer and sneak home when Donnie had gone to sleep.

And there was something else she had to do.

Debt was a strange thing. Different people reacted to it in different ways, and Var's own way was a desire to make some gesture towards repaying it, even if she knew she couldn't make it all up. She felt exactly that way about the Jedi just after the race. That woman had made a conscious decision to save Var's new life, and the pale young woman felt a burning need to make some gesture to her.

With a pouch full of credits and a backpack slung between her narrow shoulder blades, Var set off on the gift-shopping mission she wasn't sure of.

Touchy and feely weren't words commonly associated with ex-Sith, and Var's previous attempts at generous gestures usually involved cooking meals or picking up the tab for drinks. Never before had she bought a significant gift for someone else, least of all a Jedi.

What did Jedi like? It had been years since Var was a Padawan, and she'd never really socialized the way she should have, and her memories from before then were... less than pleasant. The feel of a whip cracked across her back, the feel of bruises on her headtails, of cuts in her pale lips...

She had to get something that spoke about her as well.

Shop after shop Var visited, browsing the racks for something that stood out. Only when she had all but given up hope did she find an item she hoped would please the woman. It was a leather-bound journal, filled with blank pages of real paper, with a gilded cover. Perfect for storing memories.

From there she inquired and found her way to the right hotel room, where she knocked on the door nervously, lacking her usual cool self-confidence and icy demeanor.

[Zarkana]

Hearing the small knock at the door Avy looked up from her book, hearing the small splashing in the bathroom still as she closed the book and set it down before slipping out of the chair. A few steps brought her to the bathroom as she leaned in to check on the child for a moment before she smiled and approached the door, looking through the peep hole to see Dia standing on the other side. With a smile Avy opened the door and looked at her while smiling. "I didnt think I'd see the new swoop racer star again." Avy smiled as she held the door open and let her in before looking back to the other door as she heard the splashing again before a small call as Avy shut the door and locked it.

"Excuse me." Avy smiled at the young Twi'lek before she stepped into the bathroom, the clothing that had been sent off and cleaned had only arrived a few moments sooner. She pulled one of the towels down as she helped the young child before dressing him in the clean clothing as Avy lightly patted his head. Holding his hand she stepped into the room and picked it up, holding the child while she walked towards the bed. "I am sorry, I didnt expect to have anyone come find me." Avy gave a small smile to the Twi'lek before laying the small boy down, tucking him in before she kissed his forehead.

"Please, have a seat." Avy offered Dia the other seat as Avy took hers again and leaned back against the seat, enjoying the moment as she looked to the Twi'lek. "I found him alone on the streets, just like I was found." Avy looked at him for a moment as she watched the child snuggle into the bed before falling asleep as Avy looked back to the Twi'lek. "So tell me, why did you come find me? It is a bit odd for you to come searching for a Jedi."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var walked inside the room as the Jedi closed the door behind her. She was still clad in the form-fitting black racing suit she'd purchased the night before. If she'd been a human, her hair probably would have been messy and tousled, but as it was her lekku were clean and orderly, pulled forward over her shoulders.

Green eyes surveyed the room, and quickly she realized someone else was present. She felt wary for a split second at the presence of someone else in the bathroom, but when the door opened she realized it was just a child. She relaxed as the Jedi dressed him and tucked him into a bed.

Then they spoke.

Var had to agree, it was a bit odd that she'd actually seek out a Jedi. Still though, she felt like this was the right decision.

"I know it's a little odd, but I wanted to thank you. You could have taken me back to prison on Coruscant today, your superiors probably think you should. But you didn't, you let me keep living my new life, and I had to show you a token of my gratitude."

Slender and pale hands reached into the backpack and pulled out the leather-bound journal, and the Twi'lek woman held it out towards the Jedi.

"I didn't know what you liked, but it's a journal. Real paper. I've... Never really been one to give gifts. I didn't ever have the chance as a little girl, or as a Jedi. I didn't have a whole lot when I was young, and- I'm sorry."

Var apologized as she rubbed an eye with a gloved hand. Her memories were coming back now, memories of being helpless, and knowing hunger and pain. If not for the Jedi she probably would have died on Tatooine, starved or beaten to death, or discarded when she grew out of the age her owner had liked.

It was a little much to flash back to.

[Zarkana]

Gently taking the leather bound journal Avy took a look over the journal, her hand running over the leather before opening it and feeling the real paper which was unique itself since many journals now then were either flimplast or a simple datapad. It was nice though to say the least as Avy smiled and set it down, making sure that she'd remember it before leaving the next day as she looked to the young woman.

"I didnt come here to arrest anyone, though I'm not sure what you're talking about. Though I can guess that you're a former Jedi from how you're talking and begging that I not take you back to Coruscant. The journal though is very nice, and I think it's the first gift I've been given in a long time."

Avy smiled as she leaned forward and touched the young woman's hand before leaning back then looking at the child. "I know the feeling though, that kind of a life for a child is not healthy. I was lucky that a Jedi found me as a child before it was too late. Just as I found this child as well. I couldn't just leave him in the streets, not when that's how I was found." She looked back to the young woman and smiled again.

"So then, what is your name, I doubt that it is Dia if you are a former Jedi." Avy leaned back in the seat and looked to the young Twi'lek and smiled, while her hands lightly folded one over the other while she brushed out the wrinkles from her robes.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var blinked in surprise. The Jedi hadn't come for her? She'd been so certain that was the reason, that she was the goal. It had been so easy for her to think that her own story was the only reason a Jedi would come to Manaan, but...

In hindsight that was ridiculous. Of course a Jedi could visit the watery world of the Selkath for reasons that didn't pertain to a certain escaped-Twi'lek traitor. It had just been hard to see them.

Try as she might, Var felt like she always fell short.

Not everything was about her. She felt so damned self-centered sometimes, and she wasn't sure if it was normal or related to the Dark Side habits she'd picked up since her fall. It was just so hard to tell about these things now. Her adjustment, while excellent, still fell short now and then.

It was clear in comparison to Doneeda, that Var had not been living a normal life. She was so poorly adjusted, so uptight about things. Such a prude.

Of course Donnie was pregnant and she wasn't.

The Twi'lek woman sighed and sat down in a chair by a lamp.

"My name is Varulla'aba. Or Var. You probably heard about me a month ago, it was all over the holonet. I was a 'sith' arrested for sneaking into a party filled with Senators. What they probably never mentioned was that I deserted the Empire and was looking for my mother."

Var rubbed her temple with her left hand and rested the right on her knee, ankles crossed awkwardly, the protective boots resting one on top of another.

"I hope you don't plan on taking me back now..."

[Zarkana]

"I'm Avy Valla" She smiled at her and extended her hand to lightly shake hers while she listened to her story before she shook her head lightly. "I cant say that I have. I dont really pay much attention to the holonet, I always found it to be too much for my own tastes. Then again this is the first time I've been out of the Jedi Archives other than going back to my quarters, for a few months now." It was the truth too, Avy was usually found in the archives, her love for knowledge and reading which had even extended to her reading to the younglings between their classes or when a lone youngling would run up to her and tug on her robes and push a book up to her.

She had that reputation in the Jedi Temple, mother Avy the reader. It was possibly a reason she didnt want a Council seat, it wasn't a thought on if she was good enough for it, it was a thought on it should would still have the time to read to the children. Her thoughts snapped her back to Var as she looked to the young Twi'lek and got a good feeling that something was keeping her tense.

"Now then, beyond fearing that I'll take you back, what is it that is really bothering you. I can see that there is more that you're not telling." She reached out and lightly tapped Var's nose like she had before earlier that day. "A mother knows these things so no stammering like you dont know what I mean." Her voice never rose, it was still a sing song voice, which considering her past was an oddity. How could this loving woman have come from a past as dark as hers, how was she sitting here with a former run away and a former sith and still be calm.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var felt stupid.

This Jedi didn't even know her, didn't know she was a fugitive. She'd gone and blabbed the whole story to a woman who could have remained in blissful ignorance of the truth. Of course, Var thought she had a read on Avy.

The purple Twi'lek was maternal in every sense of the word. Var was a bad judge of character, but even she could tell that. The mannerisms, the demeanor, the kindness. Just a few years ago this would have been the woman she resented. She would have snarled as her nose or shoulder were touched, she would have glared. Var would have lashed out at this Jedi in every way possible, spurning and hating the kindness she'd shown her.

Now was different. Var was learning to live this way, to accept what she really wanted. Perversely, that was kindness, exactly what she would have rejected as conditional, a bartered trade.

As to what was on her mind... Var wasn't sure what Avy meant. Granted she'd just briefly thought back on her childhood, but she somehow doubted that was it.

Besides, that was her private shame. Only Donnie and Koeing knew, though she had no idea what had become of her former Sith master. Already the passion she'd felt for him was dying, the delusions of a girl who'd latched onto a male authority figure and idealized him, risking letting herself get used.

Var wasn't about to mention her past, not yet, not to a stranger.

"I don't know what you mean. I thought about my life for a few seconds, but that was it. I'm not worried about that."

Right now. Var embellished in her mind.

Periodically it would come back to bother her, usually when she caught a glimpse of the scars on her back while changing. Those memories were brief, and she moved on swiftly.

Her real worry was going back and dying behind prison bars. Or being killed by the Sith.

[Zarkana]

Avy smiled and lightly patted Var's hand as she kept her eyes on the young Twi'lek knowing that there was still something not being said. "I wont pry any further then if you're not willing to speak on the subject anymore." Avy smiled again before leaning back in the seat and looking at the young child that was curled up in the bed before she looked back to Var. "I remember being that age, and how it felt to not have a roof over my head. I was so happy when my Master found me on Tatooine and saved me." A small tear began to form in Avy's eye as she tought of Caula and how he had saved her from her own past, her pain coming back to her before she shook it off when she looked back to the child.

It was a hard life when she was younger and something told Avy that this Twi'lek next to her had the same life as a child, though their paths had diverged long ago on their different climaxes. As it was now Avy had reached hers, being a Jedi Master now, she had to wonder how far Var could have gone had she stayed with her Jedi training, or even how far she might have gone as a Sith. Avy shouldn't have been thinking of such things, though she was wondering how powerful this young woman next to her could have become.

"Do you miss it?" Avy looked to her as she leaned back into the seat again, her eyes focused onto Var. "Do you miss any of it? The hardships, the pain, the happiness and joy of those around you?"

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Found on Tatooine and saved...

So, this woman, Avy, had really had an upbringing like Var's? How close had it been she wondered, just how similar had their childhoods been?

"I was happy too..." Var said softly.

But the conversation flowed on, and the purple woman asked the alabaster woman if she missed it. It was a rather ambiguous question, and Var honestly wasn't sure what it applied to. Did she mean the Jedi? The Sith? The Dark Jedi? Her childhood?

Really all the younger Twi'lek could do was to answer all of them.

"I don't miss my childhood, I miss what could have been. I only met my mother a few months ago in prison, and it made me think about the normal life I could have had. But if you mean the Jedi, it's still no. My Master, Nedar, he was so stiff, and nothing I did ever impresed him. No one cared about me, I had only one friend. He was the one who led me to the dark side, which I don't miss either. I can't live with the constant fear, the constant sensation that someone might hurt me."

The young woman ran a hand over her right headtail, rubbing the decorative green band at the tip softly, over and over. It was a nervous habit she'd picked up somewhere.

"I think I like this life better, but I've said that at first about every big change, and none of them ever helped me the way I'd liked."

[Zarkana]

Avy let out a small laugh as she listened, hearing how the young woman liked her new life, though still had her own reserves about saying that about her life. She smiled as she looked to the young twi'lek as she listened carefully about the life that she had had before now. "I know the feeling young one, trying to impress a person, though in the end I learned that I never had to impress my master, he was already proud of me. It was my master that also tried to bring me to the dark side, though in the end it was my padawan and my love for my master that prevented me from doing so."

She brought her hand up and lightly touched the young twi'leks hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "We all have our hardships that we must go through in our life, it is what will make us stronger, and I can already see that your own have made you stronger already. I would have been very proud if I had you as a padawan." Avy smiled as she stood up to stretch before walking towards a small table in the room, lifting up the cup and kettle before looking back to the twi'lek.

"I'm sorry, were are my manners, would you like a cup as well." A motherly smile graced her lips as she poured a cup of tea and set it down before getting a second cup out and setting it on the table.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Yes thank you," Var said as she watched the kettle being raised, steaming water pouring out to drench tea leaves. There was something wonderfully restorative about tea. It was special, a soothing substance that always made everything better.

The younger of the Twi'leks played with the tip of her left headtail, running it around in her gloved hand. She was preparing to say something bold, to come further out of the shell she wore.

She could do it because she felt safe. This Jedi, she wasn't like the others. Avy was patient and kind, and she had a deep reserved of calm. She wasn't Nedar. That was for sure. Var still felt a pang of anger and shame whenever she thought back on her time as a Padawan... And guilt.

"I wish you'd been my master. Things might have turned out differently then."

Var lapsed into silence after that, only giving a small smile.

What would it have been like if she'd had Avy as a master? She could only imagine.

[Zarkana]

Avy merely responded with a soft smile when Var offered her thought of a simple wish. She lift the cup before walking back and setting it down on the small table, offering it to Var before she returned to take her own glass in hand and step back to her seat, gently sliding into it as she leaned back and took a sip before setting the cup and saucer down on the small sitting table.

"I would have liked that very much. I can see that you're a very smart young woman."

She gave another smile, though it wasn't one as if she were merely taking pitty on the young girl, no, Avy was genuine with each smile and nod that she gave. She had grown up in such a hateful manner that she had long ago told herself that she'd never allow herself to act the same way towards others, which was why she was still a Jedi.

In her heart there was too much love, so much so that it drowned out the hate and pain that she had suffered years ago even with the scars to keep reminding her. The love would show each time she read to the younglings, or even took the time to listen to one. Avy looked back to the young twilek as she smiled once more.

"Things might have come out differently young one, though we must remember not to dwell on the past. For all the good or the bad that it holds, it was what made us whom we are, and to that end we still have a chance to change it, just as I've see you done from what you've told me. Though I can tell you this much, I would have been very proud to have you as a padawan"

Avy then took a bold movement as she lightly placed her hand on Var's and gave it a light squeeze followed by a smile as she looked into the young womans eyes.