Closure and the parting of ways

[Deleted]

Koeing had spent the past month recovering from the wounds sustained during his fight with his former friend the Jedi. Travelling on a public transport he decided to go less conspicuous than normal simply wearing his plain silk clothing and keeping his eyes diverted most of the time. Short of meeting another force user he should be fine in concealing his identity, the transport ship bound for Manaan would land in just a few moments.

He had tracked Varulla to Manaan where she now raced under the guise Dia Amersu, he intended to get closure with his former apprentice then move on to re-devoting himself to the Sith completely. As departures completed Koeing stepped off the transport and looked around at the water covered planet with a sigh wondering why she chose this place.

He made his way into the city with nothing more than his clothes, a cloak, which concealed his lightsabers and a good amount of money. Finding his way around took a few hours but he finally got directions and found his way to the swoop track which Dia, now races at. Stepping up to the counter he looked up to one of the monitors and noticed a race about to end and that Dia is in it.

"Water." He ordered at the counter than went to wait at a table for the race to end. Reaching out through the force he searched for Dia's consciousness then brushed against it to alert her.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var had just finished a heat when something tickled at the edges of her mind. It was a strange fuzzy feeling, something slightly discordant and unreal. It was... familiar though. Very familiar.

She was so busy staring off into nothingness that she didn't even notice what Blazinda said until she had repeated her words twice. And waved her hand back and forth directly in front of the pale Twi'lek's green eyes.

"Eylo Sunshine, did I wake you?"

Var grumbled amiably, her heart not really in the interchange. Instead she was trying to figure out the source of her mental contact. Then it clicked. It had only been months ago, but it seemed like a lifetime. Indeed, when she'd last felt that contact she had been a very different young woman. Filled with hate, filled with lust for revenge. She'd been brimming with anger, and deeply troubled.

It hadn't been until Tatooine when she'd learned she was no Sith. Despite her anger, despite her rage, she was angry at herself. She raged at herself. And when her barriers fell, she collapsed. Hardly the actions of an evil woman, hardly the abilities of a tool of the Dark Side.

It had been that experience that convinced her of the need to change, and when she reached out with her senses she could find only one presence. A presence from before her change.

It was Koeing. Her Sith master, and the first person she'd thought she'd loved. Now she wasn't sure. She was changed by her time spent outside the Sith, and even if her passion had burned as bright as it once had, she wasn't sure the same could be said for him.

As far as she knew, he was still a Sith, and there was a very good chance the Sith wanted her dead for deserting them. She was no telepath, and for all she knew he could be here to kill her.

She had no lightsaber. Var hadn't gotten around to rebuilding a blade to replace the one captured by the Jedi. If she went to him, she'd be virtually defenseless. But if she hid, if she cowered... She could arouse his anger. There was no choice but to find him and meet him, and to die if she had to.

Instantly Var made her decision. She looked Blazinda in the eye, lightly touched the half-Epicanthix woman's shoulder and whispered a few words in a tone that sounded far less confident than she'd hoped.

"Blazinda, if I don't come back, give all my winnings to Doneeda, and take care of Eleanor for me. You can keep the swoop. If I am back... Just ignore we ever had this conversation."

The pale Twi'lek woman kissed her raven on the beak, eliciting a curious caw, then she turned away and followed her senses. They led her to a bar adjacent to the swoop track, where she saw him instantly.

She froze at the entrance to the bar, rooted to the ground. Her gloved hands held the door open, and her racing suit made her body look like a shadow. She might have stayed there for long minutes, save for a man who tapped her on the shoulder and told her to move.

Jolted into action, she walked gracefully across the bar, sliding into a chair across from him and making unflinching eye contact with her large and green eyes, a slight glint in the irises conveying the nervousness that her body refused to show.

Var said nothing.

[Deleted]

His crystalline green eyes fixed on Var as she entered through the door until she sat infront of him. He studied her with emotionless scrutiny then dropped his eyes to the glass of water infront of him, reaching up and grabbing it he takes a sip before setting it down then nods to her. Reaching underneath his cloak taking the lightsabers from their resting place reaching up he gently places them on the table between them then speaks in that soft, almost silk like voice of his. "I'm not here to kill you Varulla."

He studied her form for a few moments before reaching back in to his cloak and pulling out a credit chip, laying it on the table before them he finally smiles at her. "The chip is loaded with eight thousand credits, take it."

He watched her for a few moments before taking off the cloak and setting it next to him before stretching out his muscles. "Is this life treating you well? I see you're racing now, how do others fare against you? I do believe you'd have a small advantage my sweet apprentice. My Love." His tone indicated finality, as if calling her his love was a fact that would never change.

Finishing his water he calls for another and sips from it, his eyes diverting to the monitor to look at statistics of racers while waiting for Varulla's reaction, which will most likely be surprise.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var visibly relaxed at the declaration of intent. Her shoulders fell a little, her posture loosening from the rigidly formal setting it had been in, though still falling well short of a slouch. It was pure and utter relief that washed over her, like a condemned man hearing of a stay of execution.

When he told her to take the credit chit, she froze again, looking between him and it, surveying them both with the look of a woman confused. While he'd never been stingy or cruel to her, she'd never known of such generosity. She hadn't been anticipating this. Any of it really.

There was one thing that had rattled around her head and in her heart relentlessly, both in prison and in her new life on Manaan. Why hadn't he come for her? Why hadn't her lover been there to rescue her from a life in prison? Instead it had been Donnie, endearing and foolish Donnie, with her gift for making the impossible possible.

While she was glad of the outcome, she'd wondered if Koeing had forgotten about her, moved on to some newer and prettier apprentice. If he'd stopped caring about her.

Instead when he called her 'my love' she felt a pang in her chest, as if she'd been stabbed through the heart. It hurt. She still felt those old feelings for him, bubbling back into her consciousness. Her very first kiss on Murkhana. It had felt so clean and so pure, better than anything she'd ever known before. Months later and it was still her only kiss.

She closed her eyes and controlled her breathing for a moment before she spoke, answering the question. The credit chit on the table remained untouched.

"It's the best thing I've ever done. They say I'm a natural. Incom sponsored me. I came from slavery to never having to worry about going hungry again. Koeing..." Var paused. How often had she ever used his given name? She'd relied so heavily on titles and deference...

"Keep the credits. If the Order finds out you helped me it could mean bad things for you. I- I don't want to see you hurt."

Not again.

The alabaster-skinned Twi'lek pulled her headtails over her shoulders and stared at the table for a long second before daring to ask her own questions, confident now that there would be no imminent threat of harm.

"Why didn't you come for me? And why didn't you kill me?"

Her voice was hesitant, the smooth rhythm remaining as lovely as always, though it was undeniably tinged with emotion far different from her usual icy exterior.

[Deleted]

His eyes diverted back to the pale Twi'lek, he smiled then began to laugh, laughing seemed out of place for him and ended up being awkward for those around him as the emotion was not normal for him. Shaking his head and calming his laugh he fixes his glittering eyes on to hers, he couldn't help but see the amazing resemblance between their eyes. "Take the credits Varulla, it's all i can offer."

At the sudden questioning Koeing's eyes dropped and he stared intently at his glass of water, a small growl welled up within his chest as he thought back on what had happened. The encounter with the Jedi on Murkhana, finding Donnie on Tatooine, then the reasoning behind why he hadn't shown up.

"The Jedi, whom confronted me on Murkhana, she abandoned the Order because they refused to give her permission to exact revenge for what i had done. They deemed it unnecessary and told her to move past it. I know this because i spent some time in her company, well more so i was forced to. She captured me with a small group that she hired. I was on Tatooine, with Donnie after you had left and planned on being there for you...However..Things did not go as planned, i ambushed and held on Tatooine for quite a while."

He shook his head, flash backs of what had happened coming through, torture at the hands of his former friend. The hatred in her eyes as she enjoyed the pain she caused him, his dark smile as he saw her turn from the path of light she so hopelessly clung to all those years.

"I escaped, and not without scars. I spent some time nursing my wounds and collecting information on what had happened to you, and now Varulla i'm here. The order does not know that i am here, yet. I'm sure i will face discipline or death upon my return if they find out i helped you. But i could not return until i had seen what became of you, and you seem to be doing well."

A sadness entered his eyes, as he took a long breath and looked away from Varulla while contemplating what he had to say.

"This will be the last time we meet, because if we meet again i will be forced to kill you by edict of the Order." His eyes lingered on his glass before raising to meet hers, with a weak smile he began to get up from the table.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var winced as she felt a ripple of guilt course through her body. She'd virtually accused him of abandoning her with those questions, and with her tone. Now it turned out he'd been held captive, subjected to torment. And she'd been insensitive enough to risk hurting his feelings.

He looked sad. So very sad.

The Twi'lek woman had always admired his strength and confidence, his sheer poise. Her own attempts at those traits were facades, bluster adopted as a mechanism to keep others at arm's length, to resist intrusion, to avoid interest. For him, these were real and firm traits.

And now he seemed so normal, so... Not small, but not grandiose and mighty. He seemed like a mortal man rather than some demigod of the Force. It made her feel so awkward inside, with one simple truth reflected in her heart.

This was all Var's fault. Her choice to leave the Order had brought about all of this. Her search for her mother had brought about precious little good for anyone but her, and it was only thanks to Donnie that she had made it out. Now her own indiscretions threatened her first love.

If they ever knew he aided a deserter, his life would be forfeit. He was literally risking his life to save her when one quick stab would earn him favor from the Order. He had chosen her instead.

Var could feel tears forming in her eyes, her emotion welling up, bubbling past the barriers she'd always built. When he rose to go, she rose up as well, swiftly.

With a boldness that emerged like a fledgling bird nervous of its own abilities, Var tentatively reached out and took his hand, the soft hands behind her gloves stroking it gently. With her other hand, she reached out and lightly touched the side of Koeing's face.

Then with teary eyes, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, kissing him for the very last time, heedless of the cat calls in the bar. She closed her eyes and thought back to their whirlwind relationship, now doomed. Like she'd feared in some narrow recess of her mind, this was not to be.

When she finally broke away from him, her hands both dropped to her side and she stared down at the floor, lacking the heart to see his eyes.

"Never forget me. I'll never forget you."

[Deleted]

His heart literally stopped for a split second when he felt the touch of Var's hand. His eyes burning as all of his emotions threaten to boil over in tears, something that had eluded him for a long time, pain. Smiling weakly he watched her hand come up and touch his cheek, then the sudden movement caught him off guard, his body froze and he was nearly at a loss for words with her lips against his. He kissed her back weakly until she stepped back.

"You are one being that will forever be burned in to my memory Varulla, i will never forget you."

He stepped forward and wrapped his right arm around her drawing her in to a hug, his lips brush against her cheek and travel down to her neck placing one final kiss against it. "Thank you."

Stepping away he grabs his cloak and fixes it around himself with his right hand, then calls through the force to his lightsabers, catching them he fixes them on his belt. With a weak smile he nods to her then pulls the hood up, the entire time he hid the fact he lost the use of his left arm during his torture at the hands of Reiisha.

He walked out of the bar and out of Varulla's life to start on his new path, a redoubled effort to rise in the ranks of the Sith and take down the Jedi once and for all, not even his now lame arm would stop him from achieving that goal, seeing as how he now had to give up the one woman he had ever loved, his focus and determination set he disappeared from Varulla's sight.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Var felt a tingle shoot up her spine at the touch of his lips, shivering as they pressed against the soft skin of her neck. And then, just like that, it was over. He passed out through the doors and out of her life.

Her first love, gone. Possibly her last love.

The Twi'lek sank back down into her chair and stared at the credit chit still lying on the table, finally picking it up and dropping it into a belt pouch on her black racing suit. While her body was moving properly, her thoughts weren't there. It was action without conscious thought, and she sat there mutely with unseeing eyes for long seconds before a single thought came to her mind.

Grief. Loss.

She was free of prison, her life was successful now. By all rights, she was better than she'd ever been before.

Grief. Loss.

All that quality, all that joy she'd achieved... It felt petty, trifling in comparison to what she felt now. The tears that slid down her pale cheeks reminded her of all the suffering she'd known, all the pain. And it still hurt. Here was one more poorly-healed wound that would leave a horrid scar across her alabaster flesh.

Var trudged over to the bar and sat there, staring at the bartender with eyes that had rapidly become bloodshot. He asked her what she wanted, and she whispered 'anything.' He brought her something in a shot glass, and she downed it in a single gulp, the fiery liquor burning her throat and causing her nose to tingle.

It was followed by another, and another. One by one the drinks eased her anxious mind, took the burden off her shoulders, and soothed her soul. By the time she was staggering out of the bar and through the streets, she was somewhat tolerable. When she passed out on the bed fully dressed she was fine.

When she woke up in the morning, her heart still felt broken in two. But now, who would fix it?