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last online Apr 19, 2013 18:45:53 GMT -5
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Oct 24, 2012 5:32:51 GMT -5
Post by Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy on Oct 24, 2012 5:32:51 GMT -5
"It's not like I can help it," Var said glumly. "Besides, you've already seen me drinking away my troubles. It's what got me into this whole mess."
The Twi'lek woman shuddered a little over the memory of her drunken rage, the lessened inhibitions that had led to her murdering a man. Yes, admittedly he was an attempted rapist, and by all rights it was good that he was dead, but it was still an illegal act, one done by rage.
There was nothing righteous about her action.
While Var doubted she would swear off alcohol after this, she did make a mental resolution to swear off drunkenness, and to live in moderation. She needed strict control over herself, because the consequences were too severe otherwise.
"I can't exactly control that. I can try to be a better person, but I can't make myself fall in love, or make friends. I can change what I am, but I-"
The pale woman stopped as she tried to formulate what words could come next. It wasn't that she was especially inarticulate, this was just considerably more difficult than she'd anticipated.
"I can't change who I am," Var concluded with a sagacious nod, expressing some confidence in what she had to say.
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Fromikeable
Keeper Of The Techxts
1,616 posts
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...and I'm comin'! *guitar riff*
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last online Jun 22, 2023 19:35:57 GMT -5
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Oct 24, 2012 14:35:24 GMT -5
Post by Fromikeable on Oct 24, 2012 14:35:24 GMT -5
Horst grinned and sighed at the response she gave. She'd already come to terms with something he'd only had the balls to admit a few times; he was who he was, and no amount of work in the galaxy could change that.
All that could change was what she was.
"Fine," he admitted, nodding. He wouldn't refute that. He'd said what he'd said simply because he didn't like who he was. Brash, uneven, emotional; if he could have been anyone else, he would definitely have been tempted.
But Var actually had that chance, and he'd be damned if he'd let her pass it up.
"Then promise me somethin'." He stood up and walked right in front of her, looking straight at face one more time.
"Don't you ever stop tryin' ta' be somethin' better." With that, Horst was once again at a loss for words. As usual he'd sounded corny and hackneyed, but as he came to sit across from her on the couch again he figured that he'd been serious enough for his words to have impact.
Because he'd meant it. If it weren't for his simple hope that things, including himself, would get better, Horst would've quit a long time ago. Otherwise, how could you be sure of anything? He hadn't been able to think of another answer to that question, and so with the full support of his blind determination and stubbornness he'd tried to be as decent a person as possible his entire life.
Had he succeeded? Considering the trail of bodies he'd left behind, that was highly debatable, and Horst would be the first in a very long line of people to admit that he hadn't been anything close to a saint. But he'd tried, and to him that was what counted.
He smiled widely again then, lightening up. "Oh, and go easy on tha' booze. Yer' liver'll thank ya' later." With that, he chuckled lightly again, not even sure if Twi'leks had livers.
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last online Apr 19, 2013 18:45:53 GMT -5
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Oct 25, 2012 4:27:27 GMT -5
Post by Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy on Oct 25, 2012 4:27:27 GMT -5
Var didn't feel the need to flinch from Horst's eye contact, even when he came close to her. Admittedly, if he'd been hostile the same would have been true. The Twi'lek didn't flinch out of fear, or mere proximity. She'd learned long ago that appearances were vital. Never let them see your weakness, look confident, look poised.
The only reason she flinched now was guilt.
Admittedly, she still felt guilty inside. Var's transformation away from Sith and into a new normal life had left her with a soft and squishy interior eager to lay blame on herself and to obsess over everything she had done wrong.
Hard to believe a year ago she wouldn't have had a single regret over killing a man, wouldn't have even blinked an eye in fact. Oh how cheap life had been...
Var nodded her agreement to his request for a promise. He returned to the couch and she rose.
Hesitantly and tentatively she crossed over to him, then in a quick motion she bent down and kissed him lightly on the cheek with her pale lips before stepping back and whispering a few words.
"Thank for believing in me."
The white-skinned Twi'lek turned and walked into the kitchen, helping Blazinda with the tea, retreating from what she felt had been an awkward expression of emotion.
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Fromikeable
Keeper Of The Techxts
1,616 posts
628 likes
...and I'm comin'! *guitar riff*
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last online Jun 22, 2023 19:35:57 GMT -5
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Oct 26, 2012 18:54:12 GMT -5
Post by Fromikeable on Oct 26, 2012 18:54:12 GMT -5
As Horst sat, he began to rub his hands again, staring at them with a rare calamity. The hands were the perfect summary of the person that used them; they were battered, rough, scarred, useful, deadly, and inventive.
Horst starred at them a little harder. Were those hands caring too?
Var got up and, a little awkwardly, swooped in and pecked his cheek. Horst could feel the soft lips on his hard skin, kind of like a pillow tapping a brick wall with coarse stubbles of facial hair.
She thanked him, and then retreated to the kitchen.
Horst paused his hands again, raising one to feel his cheek. It was still coarse. It was still tough.
But it was warm with blush.
Perhaps those hands were a little caring after all. Maybe under the skin was some nice guy the likes of which could actually be down-right likeable. Maybe it was all just a front...
Nah. It wasn't a front. But it was something, deep under there. Horst observed his hands for a moment before closing them, confident. Whatever it was, he was going to find it. He was determined, and where that determination came from didn't matter; he'd find out what was under his skin.
Horst's line of thought was broken as his pocket buzzed. He looked down, surprised, and removed the source of noise from his pants. It was his communicator, and it was buzzing at him to head for the space-port; he had to begin his trip back to Oatara. That made him knit his eyebrows, frustrated. He wanted desperately to stay, to just make sure Var was okay and help hold her up. To support her.
Unfortunately, life seemed to have other plans.
Standing up slowly, Horst tried to think of anything he could do to postpone his leaving. Nothing came to mind though; he had enough work waiting for him as it was, and his extended absence could really through the troops for a loop. That was out of the question considering the impending raid.
So, Horst sighed, trudging over to the kitchen doorway, watching Var and Blazinda finish making the tea he'd actually planned on trying. Horst had always been more a black coffee type of person, but for Var he'd been willing to at least sip it a bit.
Maybe he could make it up to her...
"Listen honey. I hate ta' say this, but I've gotta' go soon." He sighed again, wishing it wasn't so.
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last online Apr 19, 2013 18:45:53 GMT -5
Master
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Oct 26, 2012 20:28:06 GMT -5
Post by Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy on Oct 26, 2012 20:28:06 GMT -5
Var looked over at Horst as he entered the kitchen, and she frowned as he announced he had to go. It seemed like he had just arrived in her apartment a few minutes ago.
Actually, it was just a few minutes ago. The tea was just now brewed, and a good Rylothean tea as well. But Horst didn't have to miss it. Var had a plan.
"I'll give you your tea in a travel-mug then," She said softly, avoiding eye contact with the friendly man who was now about to leave.
Why do they always leave? Var asked herself silently as she stifled a wince.
Slender hands carried out the action of pouring tea with milk and sugar into a mug, steam rising off of it as she secured the lid. She made her own and held hers, extending Horst's allotted portion to him.
"You'd better get going. I don't want you to miss your flight on my account," The glum undertones of Var's statement weren't exactly hidden.
They always left, and that wasn't exactly satisfying. At least Donnie wasn't about to leave. Var could count on her, and on Blazinda.
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Fromikeable
Keeper Of The Techxts
1,616 posts
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...and I'm comin'! *guitar riff*
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last online Jun 22, 2023 19:35:57 GMT -5
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Oct 26, 2012 23:58:53 GMT -5
Post by Fromikeable on Oct 26, 2012 23:58:53 GMT -5
Horst took the tea with knit eyebrows, hating that this was the way they were ending this. Var and him had formed a real relationship of sorts, and for him to just drop out was awful.
He sniffed the tea, switching to his instincts in search of answers again. His gut told him there was something he could do... but what?
He sipped the tea...
... it was delicious. He couldn't tell what the herb was though. Maybe if he got some free time and a lot of boredom he could go on the Holonet and-
"Wait." Horst stuck his unoccupied hand into his pocket, producing a piece of failed paperwork he'd had to deal with when dealing with the Selkath prior to meeting Var. He looked around and located a pen, then set his drink down and immediately began jotting something down. When it was done, Horst looked at it; his chicken-scratch writing wouldn't win any awards for penmanship, but it was legible at least. Satisfied, he handed it to Var.
"If ya' ever need to talk 'er scream 'er cry 'er laugh 'er whatver," he tapped the piece of paper with his other hand before picking up his tea, smiling warmly. "Just call me."
He'd be damned if distance would ruin what they'd built today.
"Tha' operator'll say ya' called a huntin' group on a little planet called Oatara. Just say that Commander Stellar gave ya' this number." He checked the number again, reading it to himself to make sure it was right before held it out for Var to take. He didn't even consider if she'd take anything from his title; he was too excited.
"I know ya've got better things ta' do than call an old soldier, but..." He grinned, down-grading himself again. "If ya' ever need someone to cry on or be here on a couple days' notice or beat up some creep for ya'..." He didn't finish, thinking the sentence was pretty self-explanatory. Would she take the number?
The hell if he knew. But he'd never got anywhere without trying.
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last online Apr 19, 2013 18:45:53 GMT -5
Master
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Oct 27, 2012 23:14:46 GMT -5
Post by Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy on Oct 27, 2012 23:14:46 GMT -5
Var took the number and stuffed it into her pocket without looking, walking towards the front door, which she keyed open.
The pale young woman stood by the entrance and motioned for Horst to exit, encouraging him on his way, not because she wanted him to leave, but because it was like ripping off an adhesive bandage: an experience best felt swiftly and without much time to think.
Green eyes closed, and Var tried not to look at the negative. She still had Donnie, even if the girl had been scarce lately, and she had Blazinda to rely on. Life wasn't over just because her new father-figure was leaving.
It merely felt that way.
Knock it off Varulla, She admonished herself as she kept her eyes closed. She did speak however, her voice a little less glum than she'd thought thanks to the short interval she'd had to cope since he'd announced he was leaving.
"I hope you enjoy yourself on Oatara Horst. I'll try to call you from time to time."
The Twi'lek woman sighed as she said her parting piece.
"Goodbye Horst."
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Fromikeable
Keeper Of The Techxts
1,616 posts
628 likes
...and I'm comin'! *guitar riff*
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last online Jun 22, 2023 19:35:57 GMT -5
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Oct 27, 2012 23:28:44 GMT -5
Post by Fromikeable on Oct 27, 2012 23:28:44 GMT -5
Horst focused his eyes on Var again as she directed him swiftly out the door. He came to stand right outside the entrance to her apartment, looking at her from his side. Why the rush to leave? Had the holonet-number been weird? It had been weird, hadn't it? Oh, of the half-cocked things he could do to botch this up...
Shut it Stellar. It ain't the number. Horst looked at her again and frowned a little. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay and talk to her more. After all of this time, he wanted to know so many things about his new adoptive-daughter; what did she do for a living? How did she know Blazinda? What was it like being a Forcie? What had Koeing been like?
For once, Horst had genuine interest.
But he sighed. That's why she was trying to get this over with; it hurt. He smiled when she said she'd call, and while a small part of him doubted it, he was confident that she might actually.
He stared at her big, green eyes again. Those eyes made his own a little less stone-like, kind of like a rock becoming a piece of silk, just for a moment.
He hugged her, quickly. It was a swooping, vigorous hug, the likes of which picked her up off of her feet for a second. Then it ended in that same instant, and he was walking down the hallway, waving.
"Goodbye Var."
The Engineer opened the door to the stairs and paused before he descended, sighing. Maybe, just maybe, she would call, and bring a smile into his life that didn't involve gore and crude joking.
Maybe she'd be able to bring back what he'd lost.
Ahhhhhh, screw it. Shaking his head and laughing quietly, Horst walked down the stairs... smiling.
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last online Apr 19, 2013 18:45:53 GMT -5
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Oct 28, 2012 2:19:45 GMT -5
Post by Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy on Oct 28, 2012 2:19:45 GMT -5
No sooner had Var opened her eyes than she let out a distinct 'eep!' as Horst picked her up off the ground in the absolute biggest hug she'd ever received in her life.
The Twi'lek stared dumbly at the wall over his shoulder as he held her, feebly patting his shoulder with one hand. But she was swiftly set back down on her feet, and the human man disappeared out the door. The swoop racer followed him with her eyes for a few seconds before she closed the door and headed back into living room and sat down just in time for Blazinda to hand her the forgotten cup of tea.
The hybrid woman smiled broadly at Var and said a few cheery words in her bubbly way.
"So, looks like you made a new friend! Don't you just love making friends?"
Var raised the eyebrow tattooed onto her forehead and counted on slender fingers.
Jia from all those years ago in the Jedi, her treacherous friend who would remain nameless, Donnie, Blazinda, and Horst.
"Five." Var said flatly.
"What's that hon?"
The Twi'lek rubbed her temples as she elaborated on her enigmatic words.
"I've had five friends in my life."
Blazinda blinked twice, mute for a second before finally speaking.
"You have got to get out more often hon."
Var sighed as she put the cup to her lips, nodding weakly. Yes, she knew it was true. Varulla'aba had to get out a lot more.
[End]
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