Samael Blackwing

[samaelblackwing]

Name: Samael Blackwing
Race: Mind-Witch
Age: 11
Height: 4’11”
Weight: 91 lbs.

Appearance: White skinned with black hair and the healthy yellow eyes that befit a member of his race. His hair whitens and his eyes turn Grey if he ever forgets to sustain himself.

Personality: Calm, Reserved, somewhat shy, perceptive

Birth place: Coruscant

Faction: Jedi
Rank: Youngling

Lightsaber: As a youngling he has a training saber with a blue blade.
Once he attains a master, he eventually creates his own single phase lightsaber with the exterior of the grip being reminiscent of a katana grip, with a tsuba-like guard. The two crystals are a meditation crystal from Tython acting as the focus crystal (which, in accordance with the site rules acts more as symbolism), and a Golden Yellow color crystal.
Color: Golden Yellow

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho: 3
Makashi: 1
Soresu: 2
Ataru: 2
Shien / Djem So: 1
>>Sub-form Backhanded: N/A
Niman: 2
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield: N/A
Juyo: N/A
Double Bladed Combat: N/A

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 7
Telepathic: 7
Body: 5
Sense: 6
Protection: 5
Healing: 4
Destruction: 2

Specialized Skills: Force Empathy, Tactus Otium, Tutaminis, Force Sight, Force Listening, Force Vision, Force Comprehension, Force Healing, Force Speed, Force Jump, Telekinesis.

Attributes: Will degrade to 1 if he forgets to feed. Will go up as he ages.

Physical Strength: 3
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 5
Leadership: 4

Unarmed: 5
Melee Weapons: 7
Ranged Weapons: 5

Bio : Samael was born to Mind-witch parents living peacefully in Coruscant. Being born a force adept child within a civilized star system he was given over to the Jedi temple. Being a Mind-witch, Samael survived in civilization by drinking animal blood, rather than leeching mental life energies to harm others. Samael has trained with other younglings in an initiate clan. Within his clan he was most proficient at connecting with and sensing the force, after much meditation, to the point where he can use the force as his primary weapon and defense, conforming to the ideals of ‘Form Zero.’ Samael learned many force abilities by using any free time of his to study in the library, and through his meditations. Samael was originally quite weak in the area of saber skills, having to rely on his Empathy to anticipate his sparring partner’s strikes; however he was always easily overcome by strength strikes and superior techniques. Gradually he integrated more force abilities into his combat style (See RP Sample) and began to actually rose to become the strongest in his initiate clan in terms of Force use and Saber skill. Samael also received basic weapons and blaster training, proving to be average in his training.

RP Sample: Samael looked up at his opponent, an 11 year-old human named Jason who towered over Samael by a foot, and ignited his training saber. Jason was the best duelist in their initiate clan, he always bested every youngling he faced utilizing his speed, technique, and strength to the best of his abilities. Samael went into a advanced low guard for Soresu; Jason went into a similar stance, and then launched himself at Samael. Jason crumpled Samael’s guard with a powerful, well-placed Sarlacc Sweep, causing Samael to retreat via a force jump. Samael, retreated into the force, then quickly force threw his saber at Jason, force jumped and grabbed the saber as Jason parried the blade. Samael then used force speed to pivot faster than Jason could move to undercut Jason’s legs, putting the youngling into a backwards fall. Samael lastly used a disarming strike to Jason’s hand, using force speed through his arms to recycle his already high momentum strike. After his opponents training saber skittered away across the floor, Samael bent down to help Jason back up. “You cheated.” His opponent stated, accepting the outstretched hand none-the-less. “No,” Their perceptive duel instructor stated, “He used the most powerful tool a Jedi has, the force. Let it guide you, let it flow through you, and you will be victorious, not just in duels, but in all that you undertake.” The instuctor gave the two Initiates time to absorb and attempt to come up with a way to apply the concept. Samael was still lulled into the force, and thought to apply all that he had learned about the force.

The instructor looked at the two and said, "Again." So, the two Initiates squared off, readying themselves. They nodded to each other that they were ready. Then Jason lashed out with a force charged side swipe, which Samael countered with a force charged side swipe of his own. After which he turned with force speed whilst recycling his counter attack, he then executed an upwards disarming slash, sending Jason's training blade skyward in a flash.

Jason responded bu force rolling and grabbing his lightsaber. Then force jumping at Samael, lashing at his saber arm. Samael sidestepped and down cut on Jason's left shoulder, which was aided by the force. Jason dropped his saber from his right hand as he crumpled from the blow.

Samael never left a state of oneness with the force after that day.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

All right, here's your review.

TO begin with, a cosmetic note. Your text should be outside the bold tags. Go ahead and move it outside.

The race you have chosen has exactly one member in canon. I'm not entirely sure it's suitable for use, so I will ask an admin as soon as possible and get back to you with an answer.

I'll judge your content now.

Appearance: You really need more here. Aim for a paragraph on what he looks like and a paragraph on what he wears. Remember, this isn't a list, it's a text description.

Personality: This is much the same thing as appearance. Not a list, a description.

Lightsaber. Don't describe what hasn't happened yet. When he makes a lightsaber IC you can update it.

Lightsaber forms. Whoa nilly, too much! If you look at accepted 11 year olds, they'll have perhaps a 2 in Shii Cho.

Force Stats: Holy guacamole. The very most he should have is maybe a pair of threes. And he shouldn't have ANY specialized skills at his age.

Attibutes: Intelligence is too high for his age, and leadership is too high. Unarmed, melee, and ranged all need to come down to 1-3 as he'll only have been instructed in the basics of unarmed combat.

Bio. This is simply too short and not detailed enough. Try looking at accepted Younglings to get an idea of what we're looking for.

RP Sample. Normally I don't judge these, but you've got him waaaaay overpowered for a Youngling. He shouldn't be able to do any of this.

[samaelblackwing]

Well, when you get back to me on my race choice, I'll correct the rest after that. Thanks for the criticism, RPing SW is certainly different than reading/watching the series. Are there any reference points for the numbering system?

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Our section notes describe the points very well, and you'll be able to see the general breakdown by looking at accepted profiles. Generally though, 10 is the God of the stats (reference only), 9 the demigod, and 1 is the exact opposite, the very beginning novice.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Word from the administrators is no.

You'll have to find a more normal race.

[Dutch]

Moving to Inactive Pending until member requests otherwise