Ziandra Chatell

[Deleted]

Creator Deleted

tellin' the truth.jpg

[Dutch]

Please put only the character name in the thread title

[Deleted]

Ups sorry! ^__^ Didn't know... Hehe, it won't happen again.

[Deleted]

Alright now it's finally done and up for a look. I welcome all comments since I am here to learn from possible mistakes so I can become better next time. Thanks...

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

OK, review time. And drunk review at that, which we all know is BEST review. So, allons-y!

Name. Splendid.
Race, age, noice.

Height/weight. I'd avoid the decimals and just round.

Appearance. Leatherboots as one word is oddly specific. We use two words in English, with leather as an adjective. Her hair in the pic seems red-black, not almond brown.

Personality. No complaints here, it's fine and dandy.

Stats. All the stats are excellent.

Bio!

Here's the part where I turn into a horned servant of beelzebub himself. Or something.

Section 1
Doing things at an early age is a common issue with apps. Thing is, the only sign of sensitivity at a young age is enhanced reflexes. On SWU at least. Good section though.

2
What was it that set her apart from other Younglings?

Good here

3.
Like the title.
First sentence doesn't make sense, unless I'm more drunk than I think.

Only now do I realize what a badass name Kiani Stardust is, even if it is a bit porn-ish.

Aha, some minute detail I can punce upon! MUAHAHAHAHA! Training settings won't sever anything, so that braid would be fine!

4.
One does not simply sneak out of the Jedi Temple.

5.
OK

6.
Think they can everything? Nooooooice.

OK

So, good job here. No, GREAT job. This was a solid and good app, and the time you took making it shows that good things come to those who wait. I think you'll swiftly earn an approval.

[Deleted]

Thanks lmr darling! ^_^ I have now made the modifications you mentioned in your review. It should be ready now.

[Dutch]

Hmmm... *pokes a few times with a stick*

let's see...

*looks under the hood of the app* Looks like you just did a tune up...

*checks odometer* ... not many miles on her...

I guess she's kosher!



Accepted Stats:

Faction: Jedi Order
Rank: Padawan


Lightsaber: Single Hilt, Single Phase
Color: Green


Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho: 5
Soresu: 2


Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 4
Telepathic: 5
Body: 3
Sense: 5
Protection: 4
Healing: 1
Destruction: 0


Specialized Skills: N/A


Attributes:

Physical Strength: 5
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 6
Leadership: 2

Unarmed: 4
Melee Weapons: 2
Ranged Weapons: 1

[Dutch]

Moved to Inactive