Restarting at the Beginning (Open)

[nonune]

High above Tython the Jedi shuttle's engines whined just a bit louder as soon as they cycled from space to atmosphere, the pilot slipping the craft through the landing cycle as smoothly as he could. Few pilots flew this path, most of them Jedi. This one in particular had made the route from the Coruscant Temple enough times to make it look easy. Still the slight shift disturbed the large Jedi from his meditations. Mastering one's emotions was one thing, but technology often escaped and disturbed him. The stuff just wasn't designed for him.

So he waited in the halls and common rooms, right now he waited at the top of the landing ramp. It felt good to be returning to the Galaxy, the time he spent in isolation had taught him to calm emotions. But he had felt... Stuck in the mud. With cement shoes holding him back, at least for the last few months.

Then he had been sent to Ilum. His hand still bore the scar of the raven haired Sith's poison blade, he had almost died. And all the lessons had aligned. If he had not known how to slow his heart, remain calm. Ilum had tested him, and at his sides rested his rewards. Two silver hilted lightsabers, impeccably built and covered in small filigree. They shone and sparkled with the pride he felt in their construction, a pride not new to the Jedi and rampant in younger Knights.

Pulling his Jedi brown robe up and around himself, he used the Force to tug the hood up and around himself to hide his pride. Mastering calm and rage had been simple compared to his constant fight with his pride. A far more insidious emotion was pride, for why shouldn't he feel it. Where Lightsabers and their crystals were concerned few in the Order could boast better than him outside the Masters.

And that was why he came to Tython. Perhaps walking in the steps of ancient Jedi would help him learn a bit of humility. 

Stepping down the ramp as soon as it made contact with the ground, he betrayed his hurry to not be surrounded by technology by stepping about twenty meters from the shuttle. Far enough that the other occupants left on their own paths. Offering nods as they passed the Knight.

For a long moment Nalialu just spent time breathing, mindful of his feelings and what he encountered. The noises of Jedi learning and sparring farther up the mountain. The smell of the ancient trees, and feel of the heavy ancient stone. The Force told him the next steps of his journey came through Tython, but he knew not what exactly he wished to do here. Confirm his theories in Crystal Lore seemed obvious, testing his new blades seemed flashy and more for one of his darker mirrors the Sith.

Something or someone was here for him. Perhaps he just needed to restart, from the beginning of the Order that he now called family.

[Fromikeable]

Never study on Tython; a rule Taas had tried to live up to for most of his adult life and, so far, had succeeded in. The practice certainly wasn’t banned from the planet or any such extreme. Rather, it had spawned from a simple piece of advice Taas had been given as a padawan. It was important to declare, to know with certainty, a place wherein all usual stresses and distractions would cease, and one could introspect freely.

For some Jedi, it was a place so simple as their chambers. For Taas, it was the entire, ancient homeworld of the Order.

It just felt wrong to be there and pursue usual duties.

So he didn’t. Since arriving yesterday, Taas had spent the entirety of his time trying to remove himself from his research as well he could. He had left his holopads and comms in his bag, powered off. He’d made sure to eat every meal with some company, breaking the norm of studious solo eating. The experience was already beginning to pay off, his mind more relaxed than it ever could have been on Coruscant. Whenever a thought of the work to be done upon his return emerged, he reminded himself that sabbaticals like these weren’t just enjoyable, well-earned vacations. They always made him think that much clearer upon his return.

Such was his mind as he wandered the mountain. He’d come with no real goal, and had wound up in the midst of a slow journey, focused on the little things. The warmth of the sun. The gentle gusts of high-altitude air. The tones of other Jedi he passed. The bustle of the stones beneath his feet. The steady, slow pace of his own footfalls.

All seemed to come together at once when he spotted a knight making his way up the path. He knew that face, did he not? Stopping, he squinted for a moment, his jogging memory written across his face.

”Knight Xem, correct?” Clasping his hands lazily behind his back, Taas smiled, his age apparent in the way his grey hairs moved with another small gust of wind.

”Good afternoon. How do you fare?”

[nonune]

Often the Force worked in mysterious ways, and it was always while it was being mysterious that it was difficult to follow. Sometimes though, its ways snapped into sharp relief in an instant. When Nalialu opened his eyes and saw the older Jedi Master it became clear who he needed to speak to. Why he was on Tython. Whether it was a short trip or a long one depended on whatever lesson the Chief Librarian decided the young Knight needed.

Swift catlike strides brought the younger man before the Jedi Master, stopping a respectable distance away and bowing just a bit deeper than a Knight of his rank should to a Master. An old habit of Nalialu's and one of genuine respect to those around him. It cost him nothing to admit the old Master's greatness far outshone his own, and may only annoy those that chose not to stand on ceremony. Deference was easy to Nalialu, and as he rose a genuine bright smile shone out from his face. Reaching all the way to his eyes and crinkling his red shot golden beard.

"Greetings Master. Correct. I am honored you remember me."


While not as enchanted with the study of the Force as the older man, one could easily imagine that this was the man that inspired him to study the Crystals at the core of the Jedi's signature weapons. Knowledge had not been something he had chased, largely because physical pursuits seemed more right in his mind. Others were more bent on the seeking of knowledge and for a time that had suited Nalialu. Until he had learned of the crystals. That doorway framed his interests in philosophy and greater pursuits yes, but it was a doorway that would never have existed otherwise.

"I fare far better than when I left Ilum. But I admit after forging my sabers on Coruscant I... Became lost. I do not wish to play politics and that seems to be all that world is good for sometimes. I had hoped walking the paths of the Ancient Jedi, our fore bearers would enlighten me as to my next path in this Galaxy."

[Fromikeable]

”I admire your self-awareness then.” Taas’s smile flared a bit, reaching his cheeks before a hand rose to tap his chin. He’d known many different Jedi over his life, and no two had processed troubling experiences the same way. He’d seen people withdraw to sparring rooms and run through katas until they could scarcely raise their arms, people sit down on mediation matts and go through breathing exercises, and more. He himself had always thrown himself into a new subject; learning something new had a way of helping him connect troubling memories to helpful thoughts.

Nalialu, it seemed, walked. A fine method, by any measure.

Waving a hand slightly, Taas turned, beginning to walk slowly up the path and indicating for Nali to join in. Appraising the views of the mountain again, Taas took a breath. Curbing his many thoughts, he attempted to curate the most supportive.

”I admit that I was not told the entirety of the incident on Ilum; only that the Temple guards on Ilum would be receiving additional support to prevent repetitions.” Slipping his hands in the openings of his sleeves, Taas held his wrists loosely, letting the fabric dangle in front of his waist as they processed.

”Would recounting it aloud assist you? Or, perhaps, you would rather discuss the Sith?”

[nonune]

Nalialu's smile brightened even more at the old man's words. "My old Master always said, 'When you are lost, walk until you find yourself again.'" His step and smile didn't falter, but he couldn't help the wave of sadness that always flowed from his center at the thought of his lost Master. He had mastered his reactions to her loss, but deep feelings never went entirely away.

Stepping in line with the old Master, he shortened his stride to accommodate whatever speed he wished to walk at. A simple matter of politeness. Perhaps the old man could help with a riddle that had bothered him since Ilum.

"On Ilum the planet tested me. It tests us all when we visit hoping for our crystals, and each test... As I understand it is different." Taas was the first he had really talked to about his test, and who better than the Chief Librarian to talk about the esoteric tests the Force gave anyone.

"A Sith was raiding our caves for crystals, I never learned her name or even if she was..." He rubbed the pink scar across the back of his hand. "More than a test of the planet."

Removing his silver handled saber from his belt, the one that held his sapphire gem. "I remember her raven hair, such a strange detail to remember about an enemy. She had acquired a large amount of crystals, mine... This one, was inside her bag."

"I believe I was her test, an enemy to befriend. She failed and attacked me, and in her rage Ilum's ice cracked under her. To save her, to gain my crystal... I had to save her as well." For a few seconds the normally confident Knight faltered.

"Often I have wondered if I did the right thing in saving her. She died anyway. Rushing forwards to attack, always rushing to attack. Master, these are my skills. To fight... To..." Punctuating the point he ignited his blade, a great snap hiss filled the area as the plasma arced out and then back into the hilt creating a loop of power. Sapphire light illuminated the near area as he held it at a ready position.

"I trained all my life for battle, but these are not our ways. What do I do now?"

[Fromikeable]

Taas’s smile disappeared as the story began. It was a difficult tale to swallow. Ilum was a testing planet, it was true, but rarely in so dangerous a sense. The tradition of finding one’s saber crystal in the planet’s caves was meant just as much as an exercise in self-discovery as patience. Some padawans took days to do so. Taas was even aware of a few who had taken weeks.

But being attacked by a would-be thief, no doubt on her own trial of passage… was nothing sacred?

Taas sighed as Nailalu ignited the blade that no doubt bore the crystal he’d collected. Studying the beam for a moment, Taas’s shoulders slumped slightly as he sighed.

”If I may be so blunt, Knight Xem, a Jedi should never wonder if it is the right thing to save a life.” Tapping the younger man’s shoulder, Taas shook his head. ”We must respect life even at its most misled and insidious. Especially then, perhaps.” What hope was there for the triumph and preservation of the light side if savagery was matched with brutality?

Evil had a knack for begetting evil from the unaware.

”I fear I do not have a clear answer. Only an apology. That you find yourself in a galaxy so diametrically at odds with the Jedi Code is not your fault.” Clasping his hands within his sleeves again, Taas was quiet for a moment. The Jedi Council, for all its many differing opinions on the war and galactic politics, could all agree that the galaxy was not as it should have been. As seemed to so often be the case, the Sith had been one step ahead as they’d revived their Order, and that it now rivaled the Jedi was an error many generations would bear.

”It is unfair of me to say this, but you must find a way to fight for peace. To be a Jedi in a galaxy full of violence is a paradoxical thing indeed.”

[nonune]

Nalialu quickly snapped the blade off and slipped it back to his belt. He had meant it as a punctuation of his point not as a challenge, and there was no reason to simply wave it around. For a moment he followed the old Master quiet as he fully considered his words. Somethings were still sacred, like considering the words of an elder carefully given. For better or worse, something cemented in his heart.

"I would be a fool to not listen to your blunt words Master. Consider my hesitation the lapse of judgement of youth. I've been long away from the Galaxy learning to control my feelings. Now it seems I must learn to control my actions with as much care.

Wrapping his robes about him he once again hid his sabers, if he was to spar upon Tython with them it was not now. Now was a time to spar with words and ideas.

"To ask you for a clear answer to a Jedi paradox would be... If you had that answer the Galaxy would be a far better place. We train so much to fight for those that can not. To stand where no one else can. But there are things that can't be solved at the point of a saber."

The Council would often have them not fight at all, the Galaxy called out to the Jedi to save them. Perhaps... "If I may ask instead... How do you know where to be Master? What I should do, that would be something to decide on where and when I am there. How do I know where to go to save the most lives? If all life is sacred, being a shield against the brutality of the Sith so that life may exist in peace... That would be enough. Shall I listen to the Council or the Force?"

[Fromikeable]

”But there are things that can't be solved at the point of a saber."

”Indeed.” Sabers were effective tools, without doubt, but Taas always considered them a last resort. When lives were on the line, the best scenario was always everyone walking away alive and unharmed. When politics heated, the best solution was finding agreements and common ground.

Measures so drastic as responding to violence in kind were reserved for things as unflinching as the Archeri. And even then, every option had to be explored.

Nal’s questions earned a raised brow from Taas, not in scolding, but rather in careful consideration. ”I would prefer you listen to both, of course. The Council is not perfect, but they juggle the same conundrums you reflect upon, save from the perspective of the entire Jedi Order. It makes us frustrating, I’m sure, but I ask that you always seek to know why we chose what we do.” That rang a bit hollow coming from someone on the Council, perhaps, but Taas had earned a new respect for the job when he’d come into it. Any issue could seem so simple to fix until it was scaled up to galactic proportions.

”As to knowing where to be… that is dependent upon the individual.” Taas waved a hand, motioning at the mountain path they ascended. ”He who claims to know the future is always made a liar by the Force, Knight Xem. Even those of us who can experience visions know never to take them as cemented fact.” Master Moho came to mind instantly. The way he described his prophetic abilities made them sound almost loathsome; to endure flashes of a future that may or may not ever happen, to have to refrain from trying to deduce where or when they occurred, to resist the temptation to influence them…

”We can only draw upon what we know, seek the current advice of those we know, and consider what nudges the Force gives us. So allow me to spin the question back on you.” Pointing with a pale finger, Taas cocked his head slightly.

”As an artist, as a protector, and as a being who can feel the ebb and flow of life itself, where do you feel life pulling you?”

[nonune]

When the old Master agreed with his philosophy that not all could be solved with a saber, Nalialu himself almost glowed with pride himself. He would test his blades against any in the Order, and many Sith with... An eagerness that he had learned frightened him. As massive as he was, as quick as the Force made him, killing was easy. There would be plenty that would be a challenge. Having felt the urge, the Darksides pull to release his sabers and carve a path through his Master's killers... Killing was to easy. Violence was the quick path.

Nalialu prefered the longer paths anyway. And he never truly wanted to hurt anyone. It had held him back in his trainings at first, that wish to not harm.

"And when the Force and the Council tell me contrary things, who then do we listen to?"

But other than that question he was silent for a while. The silence of a being contemplating wiser words than those that came from within. Where was the Force pulling him....

"Not back to Coruscant, they have enough Jedi searching to carve their names across the stars. As an artist... A protector."

Closing his eyes he reached out with the Force, pinpricks of light surrounded him, like a newborn star in an ephemeral nebula. He was being pulled, outwards. But on Tython everything was Rimward, you couldn't much more central in the Galaxy. Out his mind stepped, past the bright glow of Master Taas, past the other pinpricks of light of the Jedi that surrounded them. Out to the outer rim, past where civilization won and where the downtrodden screamed for help. And then, in the space of a breathe he was back in his body.

"Rimwards Master, to find a place without art to inspire, a place where no one stands up for the downtrodden. So... most of the Outer Rim I suppose."

[Fromikeable]

"And when the Force and the Council tell me contrary things, who then do we listen to?"

Taas was quiet for a moment, a finger rubbing the curve of his chin, a brow raised. As the moment passed, he shrugged lightly. ”Far be it from me to doubt any interpretation of the Force, Nalialu. But were I ever to discover in an experiment that gravity is a myth, would I not be wiser to ask others if they saw the same?” Taas left it there. In an order of what were, ultimately, religious monks, he couldn’t deny that theological differences were a regular part of life. It was in the debate between them the Order held its worth.

”Those that plunge heedless into a world of their own interpretation are best served by their passions, I think.” And there was no passion. Only serenity.

Changing the subject, Taas’s smile returned in a small, polite fashion. ”The Outer Rim could certainly use more protectors these days. Though I must admit, I am not certain if the Archeri crisis has improved or worsened our reputation in such remote space.” The associations between the Jedi Order and a Force-utilizing mind-controlled extra-galactic fungus were hard to shake, particularly among people that didn’t trust the Order or the Republic to begin with. Such perceptions made hard work harder.

”Are you considering the Republic worlds in the galactic south in the frontiers? Or those closer to Hutt Space that bore the risks of invasion during the crisis?” Humming in revelation, Taas pointed a finger skyward. ”Bothawui, for example, has much rebuilding to do, both in lives and in trust.”