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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Dec 4, 2008 20:48:09 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Dec 4, 2008 20:48:09 GMT -5
[Beware of oddness]
I don't update too often... shame on me.
--link to online blog deleted--
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{ Lasky }
Tal's Half-Vampy Slave: Complete With Buckled Boots
233 posts
0 likes
"The Force shall free me..."
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last online Apr 22, 2015 20:31:42 GMT -5
Padawan
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Dec 31, 2008 1:47:16 GMT -5
Post by { Lasky } on Dec 31, 2008 1:47:16 GMT -5
Hey there ---! Whoops, I almost forgot that " NEVER SAW IT."
Your blog is very entertaining, and don't worry, a little "oddness" won't scare me off. I just finished writing the first 'installment' of my own blog - something I've never done before by-the-way. I don't generally like talking to/about myself but it was actually kinda fun.
~See ya around ^^
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Dec 31, 2008 16:29:27 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Dec 31, 2008 16:29:27 GMT -5
Haha, hey, thanks. : )
I haven't written in a while, but I probably should.
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Aug 1, 2009 21:45:48 GMT -5
Post by dlgswl on Aug 1, 2009 21:45:48 GMT -5
I can has chocolates? ;D
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Aug 10, 2009 16:51:49 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Aug 10, 2009 16:51:49 GMT -5
SURE!
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last online Feb 1, 2010 12:21:54 GMT -5
Youngling
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Jan 14, 2010 14:12:09 GMT -5
Post by hapan on Jan 14, 2010 14:12:09 GMT -5
I Love Chocolates
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Jan 14, 2010 18:01:16 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Jan 14, 2010 18:01:16 GMT -5
Everyone does.
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last online Feb 1, 2010 12:21:54 GMT -5
Youngling
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Jan 14, 2010 18:04:42 GMT -5
Post by hapan on Jan 14, 2010 18:04:42 GMT -5
LOL I don't know i work with a girl that don't its weird
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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May 21, 2012 0:50:15 GMT -5
Post by Mara on May 21, 2012 0:50:15 GMT -5
Okay, I'm writing in here, instead of my real blog, for a couple of reasons. One is that I've sort of ignored it for a while (it's probably been years since I've posted in it). Two is that it's linked to my Facebook, and I have a couple family members on there, who I'm not sure have been told this information yet. And third... it's just easier.
And I feel like I have to get this off my chest and just tell someone, and even though you guys are mostly strangers, it's better than nothing. I've lost touch with the few friends I have, and I can't talk to my family about this, not right now.
Plus, it might just help explain to the few of you on here who still talk to me and RP with me about the state of my mind in the past week or so, and why my writing motivation has significantly decreased.
So here I am.
Without going into too many details (partly because it's unnecessary, partly because I actually don't know them and would rather not spread false information), the short of it is that my dad lost his job. And for the last week or two, I feel like I've been living in a dream, just waiting to wake up. But it's not a dream; it's real. The atmosphere at home is just... very tense and awkward. It's part of the reason I've been working overtime this past week; it's two more hours I don't have to be at home.
And I'm just not sure how to react to all this yet. I mean, I feel the need to help, but I'm not sure in what way. Plus, I'm not sure if they would even accept money from me. I already pay rent, and I am planning on convincing them to take a higher monthly payment from me, no matter how hard it is. Perhaps under the guise of preparing myself for a mortgage payment or something.
But then that brings me to another possibility, which would require me to give up on my dream of moving out and buying my own place, at least, for a few more years. I had been planning on doing that this year, or at least starting the process. Now, though, I'd feel horrible about leaving them in the current state, considering I'm now the only one in this house with a steady, full-time job, and there's no telling when my dad would get another. Plus, the 30 grand I have saved up and set aside for my down payment would really help them out.
Right now, it's like I said... I feel like this is not my life... like it's some bad fantasy world I'm living in. And I'm just not sure how to deal with it all right now.
So basically what I'm saying is, this is what's going on with me the past week or two, and hopefully you now understand why my posts have been a bit delayed and why my normally optimistic and cheerful self perhaps hasn't been so lately.
And I'm not looking for sympathy here. In fact, no response to this would probably be better in a way. I really just needed to get this out in the open, somewhere... to maybe help myself begin to heal and begin to figure out how to deal with this enormous change.
So.... there it is.
- Mara
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Jul 9, 2012 20:06:12 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Jul 9, 2012 20:06:12 GMT -5
[Again, just don't feel like taking the time to post this in my real blog, and just need to get this aired out].
Just when you think life can't get any worse...
So I show up to work today after a fairly boring and mediocre weekend. And there's an e-mail about a meeting today. I'm thinking, 'Great, finally a meeting. Maybe some of the crap around here is finally going to be fixed up. Maybe my boss is finally dealing with the problems instead of ignoring them.'
Yeah, no. Something completely and utterly different. And a lot more depressing and worse.
So the few of us from second shift show up for the meeting, and I'm surprised that we're joined by our company president. I mean, yeah, he stops by every so often, but to be in the meeting? Okay...
And then he goes on to tell us that apparently for the last few months they've been in talks with another company and a possible merger. Apparently they'd said no to similar deals in the past, but this time, they're actually going for it. It just seemed like the lesser of evils, I guess, to merge into a larger company instead of risking losing one of our bigger clients because of the chance they'd drop us for more competitive prices that someone else can provide. Because if this happened, and we did lose our main client, it'd mean serious budget cuts and layoffs for most of the employees (and possibly myself).
And now they're just a few weeks away from signing this deal.
I'm like, okay. So a merger. No big deal, right? Maybe we'll even end up with better health benefits and a pay increase.
Oh, haha. Silly me.
No, this company, despite aggressive talks on the part of our company to the opposite (the great work we do, etc. etc.), doesn't think it's cost effective to keep our office/location open, since they have a large one in Pittsburgh with over 65 captioners. (Of course, our Burbank office people are just moving over to a new facility over in the same area, since this company doesn't have any captioners in California). Once again, our office gets the short end of it.
And the short end this time means that in the near-to-soonish future our office will be closing, and we'll all be out of jobs. The tiny positive bit here is that they're keeping us open for a few months as a sub-contractor of sorts under this new company. And that they're gonna give us 60 days notice of when the final closing date is.
The second tiny positive is that if we stay until the end (and don't leave for another job beforehand), we'll get a bonus. (Mine's about $2,100).
But this doesn't mean I'm gonna sit around. I'm gonna start looking around for a job. Just casually, no interviews or anything official. I want that bonus. But since it took me about six months to get this job, and considering how the economy is now, I think I'll need more than two months to even remotely have a chance at a new job. Especially considering I'm not even sure what I'm qualified for, and I'm not about to move to Pittsburgh just so I can continue captioning. So I have all that amazing fun to look forward to in the coming weeks.
Now you may be wondering (or a small few of you may be), what will this mean for my time at SWU?
Well, I honestly have no idea. Short-term, it'll obviously be the same as it's always been. Long-term, you have about as good an idea as I do. If I can help it, though, I won't be leaving here or stopping my RPing. But the future is a big fuzzy right now.
(Now you might be (stupidly) thinking, 'Oh, but then you'll have more time for SWU once you have no job.' Not really. My internet time will probably decrease, if anything. Since I'll still have to share access with the rest of my family, because this would now be a really bad time to continue with my hope to move out and buy a house sometime this year).
And obviously there's the tiny chance that the deal falls through, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm pretty sure this will be my life in the new few months.
So anyway... that's just one more pile on my already crappy life circumstances. I don't really feel better, per se, but there is a very small relief, having gotten this out.
- Mara
PS: There may be a positive spin to all this, that being that I'll want to bury myself in something as a distraction, and getting back active here again and getting my replies in might be just the cure. I know I sent a PM already to those of you who are waiting for replies, I'd just like to reiterate that I will be getting to them. I'm not sure exactly when, but they will be coming. And also to those of you who are waiting for plots to begin (I'm thinking mostly of my plot to kidnap Ina and my plot to get Looma off Korriban), those will be also coming as soon as I can manage it. So please, all of you, just be patient with me. I know it's been a long time coming for some of these replies, but they will be coming. I don't like leaving things unfinished. I always feel it's better late than never. So yeah... stay tuned for replies and threads... they will be coming...
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Aug 16, 2012 17:33:29 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Aug 16, 2012 17:33:29 GMT -5
First off... huge apologies to everyone who is waiting on an RP post from me. I am so sorry. I had hoped to be all caught up by now and ready to start on some new plots (Ina's kidnapping, Looma's trip, etc.), but other stuff (life) keeps getting in the way.
I mean, a couple weeks ago, I was all excited and raring to go to get posting again. My motivation (mojo?) was back and all that. But then my problem was time. With all this overtime at work, trying to get as much as I can while I still have a job, my sleep schedule has been out of whack. That in turn has left me with less free time to do some writing.
But I'm going to force myself to get on a better schedule. No more staying up past 4 a.m. for me. The replies will come, very soon. I promise you.
I just need a little more patience from you, because I will have a few days' delay. My 'free time' will be taken up with more important things for a while yet. I have to get new brakes and rotors on my car, something I have been procrastinating on (along with everything else in my life) for far too long now. Plus, my car also appears to be leaking something mysterious from some unknown location, so I have to get that figured out and fixed as well.
But after that... be prepared for a posting blitz. Mara will be back. Soon.
That is all. (If anyone even reads this).
- Mara
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Sept 11, 2012 19:47:16 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Sept 11, 2012 19:47:16 GMT -5
More awesome news from work today. [/sarcasm]
My boss found out today, through her boss/our new parent company, that apparently they are planning on closing us/being done with us on October 31st. Now, since we were supposed to be given (as we were told when we first got the news) 60 days' notice prior to our closing... we're not sure whether this is true or not. But considering some of the other lies we were told, I wouldn't be supposed if my job ends in about a month and a half.
Which seems crazy, since the new company has just started taking some of our work on this week (apparently). Maybe they just have a lot more employees than we think they do and will be able to take on 100% of our workload in six weeks. I dunno.
But worst case... now I'm gonna be done end of October.... not somewhere around the end of the year or maybe into next year, as we were sort of thinking, based on the amount of training, preparation, etc. the new company would have to do.
Off to the job search for me.
- Mara
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Dutch
Darth Awesome, Specialist at Everything
4,164 posts
372 likes
King All the Easy
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last online Apr 30, 2020 12:47:50 GMT -5
Master
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Sept 11, 2012 19:50:48 GMT -5
Post by Dutch on Sept 11, 2012 19:50:48 GMT -5
And as we both know, Michigan's job market is a joke these days. Good luck!
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Sept 11, 2012 19:58:21 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Sept 11, 2012 19:58:21 GMT -5
Thanks. And, yeah. I know. I've done a bit of looking already, here and there... and it's depressing. There are quite a few available jobs, just nothing I'm vaguely qualified for, or ones I need 2 years' experience at, which I obviously don't have. ;p There is another captioning company in the area, but it'd only be part-time. I think it's paid per show, not per hour. Though, I would get to work from home, so I'd save on gas, haha. So that would be my backup plan if I don't find something relatively soon/before my 5 months of unemployment would run out. But I'd really prefer something full-time, with benefits and all that jazz. (Dental and optical would be a bonus, since I don't even have that now with my current job). I might just have to think of companies and look more directly. Monster and CareerBuilder have been a bit of a crapshoot.
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Dutch
Darth Awesome, Specialist at Everything
4,164 posts
372 likes
King All the Easy
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last online Apr 30, 2020 12:47:50 GMT -5
Master
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Sept 11, 2012 23:00:12 GMT -5
Post by Dutch on Sept 11, 2012 23:00:12 GMT -5
Yeah, it took me a few months of on the streets 8 hours a day looking and applying online until I just happened to stumble onto something on craigslist saying this restaurant was hiring. Had a few interviews, and voila! Jobness! Mind you, I think I got lucky there, but yeah, most of my searches on like MI Live and stuff was just useless. Lots of jobs, all requiring stupid degrees, experience, etc etc. Nearly took up one person who needed people for a porn! XDDDD
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Sept 12, 2012 18:52:07 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Sept 12, 2012 18:52:07 GMT -5
Ahahaha.
I suppose I could just go to my backup backup plan, and find a rich guy to marry me. ;p
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Oct 1, 2012 17:58:41 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Oct 1, 2012 17:58:41 GMT -5
Latest news (which is always subject to change, depending on the whims of executives):
So now our last day is November 30th. So two more months, and I'm unemployed.
That's all.
- Mara
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Nov 6, 2012 19:53:37 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Nov 6, 2012 19:53:37 GMT -5
Well, closing date is now December 15th. So, yay? One more paycheck, and insurance till the end of the year.
.....
But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to explain/apologize for my lack of... well, anything on this site lately.
I have to admit that at first it was simply a loss of motivation to post, write. I would have all the inspiration and want to do it... but I just couldn't get myself to follow through with it. I'm not sure if it's been all the stress and OT at work... other stuff going on... or what. But I just found it difficult to get anything writing-related done, including replies for SWU.
Now, though, I feel as though things had evolved into more complicated reasons. It really seems to me, honestly, that I've lost my passion for writing for the moment. And I don't mean just for this site. I mean in general.
There is a short story writing contest the local library is doing, and when I first heard about it, I was excited to enter. I just needed to figure out what I wanted to write about. (All my complete short stories are too long for this contest, so I need something new). And even, after a month, month and a half, after I finally figured out a subject... I don't have the energy or enthusiasm to actually write it.
I could go into a whole host of reasons of why I think my passion is gone, most of which are things that have plagued me for probably almost 20 years (at least when it comes to writing). But none of that really matters. It won't help me get it back. All I can do is wait for the joy to return.
However... I feel this would be unfair to everyone who I owe a post to. Or a plot to start with.
My plan is to just force out the posts (and perhaps even the contest story), and maybe it will spark something. If not, at least I have the replies done. Because if I just want for myself to start having fun writing again... I may never post or write again, ever.
So hopefully, very soon, I'll be back to my normal posting self (even if it's just a mask of how I really feel).
So that's about it.
I really am truly sorry about the wait so far. And I do thank everyone for your patience. I feel bad for asking you to wait a bit longer... but I do really hope that it won't be much more time.
So stay tuned...
- Mara
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Mara
nothing worth anything ever goes down easy
9,275 posts
55 likes
the one and only
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last online May 2, 2022 22:30:17 GMT -5
Master
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Dec 10, 2012 19:15:23 GMT -5
Post by Mara on Dec 10, 2012 19:15:23 GMT -5
So here it is, my last week at my job. And I'm feeling... I don't know what I'm feeling.
I think part of me is still in some sort of denial. Even though I'm making plans for what I want to take home with me out of the office and other stuff like that... it still doesn't seem real yet.
And another part of me is, well, scared. I mean, I got this job just months after I graduated college (the first one I ever applied for, interviewed for). And then, yeah, I was unemployed in a way, but I was still getting used to fact that I wouldn't be going to school in the fall for the first time in almost 20 years. That had been such a part of my life. And so looking for a job was more because I needed one for bills and loans and stuff... more because it was 'the next step' in my life.
But now, when I wake up next Monday, I'll feel lost. And bored. And probably a bit worthless. Because for the first time in just over six years, I won't have anywhere to go. It seems like a crazy nightmare, but I know, deep down, that it's all true and real.
And I'll have to deal with the madness of filing for unemployment... and looking for a new job. Something that I doubt will be as easy as it was six and a half years ago. (There are a couple part-time jobs at a couple companies that I'd probably be able to get... even a full-time position at one of them, second shift no less, but I'm not sure if I want to more than double my commute time... especially coming up to snowstorm season).
I keep telling myself that this gives me a chance to finally do what I want to do... to find a job that I'd really love... But the problem is, I'm not sure what that is. Well, I do... but there's no way I can make a living writing. Especially not with my self-esteem as low as it is right now, and hardly anyone being interested in what I have to say and write. I just have to figure out what my second love is, my third.
Or maybe I just find a job, something to pay the bills. And hope that it lasts long enough for me to actually find that elusive 'dream job.'
That it also will give me a chance to get a lot of things done and accomplished that I've kept putting off. Chores and to-do list items. Get writing again. Maybe even RP again. But then again, it just seems so overwhelming.
I am thankful for the Lord of the Rings marathon the movie theater was doing on Saturday. Because for an entire day I completely forgot about my situation and could just enjoy myself, spend time with my sister. But then I got to bed... and decompressed... and my mind turned back on, and I cried myself to sleep.
Which is partly why I'm glad it worked out this way. Because I had planned weeks ago on seeing the Hobbit at midnight, and it just turns out that it opens my last day here, and the midnight showing would be the night before. I hope, really hope, that by the time I get home after 3 am, I'll be able to just sleep and not remember that Friday is my last day until the next morning.
Well, I guess that's it for me for now. I'm not sure if any of that made sense, or even if it makes sense to myself.
I tried to get through that with dry eyes... and I almost made it. Almost.
Four and a half more days.... and it's all over. I'll be back to square one... lost and wandering with no place to go.
- Mara
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Dutch
Darth Awesome, Specialist at Everything
4,164 posts
372 likes
King All the Easy
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last online Apr 30, 2020 12:47:50 GMT -5
Master
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Dec 14, 2012 0:12:31 GMT -5
Post by Dutch on Dec 14, 2012 0:12:31 GMT -5
I know how you feel Mara. It's not exactly the same, but I've been feeling really similar with the divorce. I was a husband for six years basically, and now I'm suddenly not. Used to doing things a certain way, was sure that things wouldn't change THIS drastically. And when it does happen, you're in denial.
But there's definitely one thing I've learned. The people who care about you, can save your life. Even if it's just one of us swubies, get a hold of someone anytime and every time you feel off. They can save your sanity.
Try to do things for yourself, nice bath and a good book, a ton of your favorite food, whatever. Just do things that make you feel good.
It'll all work out, just look at how mild our winter has been! Gotta be a sign right? Totes isn't global warming or anything <___<
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