All Good Things... (Vexmun)

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la.

Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la...Not gone, merely marching far away...that was how the saying went.

It echoed in her ears, resounded in her mind, reverberated through her being; however, Italia couldn't have hated it more if she'd tried.

The entire thing had been a fiasco...one thing after another had gone wrong...from the repulsor lifts malfunctioning, to the rain, and culminating in the death of Solus'ad and the crashing of the Star. By this time, the young woman was beginning to wonder if she was cursed, if Manda hated her, if she'd done something in some life to deserve this punishment she was receiving. The repulsors and rain were one thing...a few bumps and bruises, they'd gotten muddy and wet and making them leave visible tracks, but no one had died because of that...even the crashing of the Ghost Star she could tolerate. Daryn had flow brilliantly, but in the end it had been unavoidable and even considering that he'd managed to do as little damage in the 'landing' as possible.

No...what had hit her hardest was Sol's death.

It wasn't because he had been Mandalore, it hadn't even been because he'd been a close friend, it had been because she had felt the beginnings of love for the man. Yes, he'd been older than herself, and she had known he would pass before herself, but to have him ripped away like he had been. To lose him before she'd even gotten a chance to tell him that she had chosen him...it had wounded her heart in such a way that she wasn't sure she would recover any time soon.

She had spent most of yesterday locked away in the engine room of the Star, shunning all company and only speaking to others if she had to. It was understandable, though, all of them were feeling the death of their leader in some form or other, mourning in some way or other...even if it was silent brooding...but she couldn't, she just COULDN'T, be around them. Italia had bandaged herself up from the few injuries she'd received and skulked off to be alone with her ship and its damaged engine.

Today she hadn't done much different...shunning company, keeping herself cloistered in a wiring duct as she worked at the damage that had been done to her ship and ignored, to the best of her ability, the emotional damage that had been done to her. Lia hadn't even bothered to eat...to her mind she just wasn't hungry even though her body said otherwise in its own ways. Finally she'd decided it was time to see the damage on the outside and so she had gone out into the world, passing by the others with barely a glance, eyes lowered, footfalls nearly silent as she stepped out into the early evening air.

The wind that pushed the clouds through the sky tousled her short hair and had her beads clattering against each other. It was cold through her thin shirt, but the long sleeves and extra material helped keep in some of the warmth of her body. Vanishing around the side of the ship, she gazed silently at the damaged engine and rested one hand against it. As if on cue, her arm felt the brunt of her weight drop against it as she leaned heavily, fighting back the tears that wanted to find their way out.

Instinctively she shut her eyes, hiding those emerald eyes glistening with tears. What she found there only hurt her worse. Flickering images of him, the time they'd spent getting to know each other...her first meeting with him to get the Star improved for this mission, the night they'd met in the rain with him on that silly basilisk droid and he'd come to the farm for dinner...the first time they'd kissed...the briefing and their visit to Ark's hanger, her meeting with him the night after and their time together on the ship, how he'd been there during her nightmare...how he'd made her something to eat on their way to this god and force forsaken planet...the mission...his death...

It all played before her mind's eye like a holo-vid.

The pain in her heart multiplied until she struck out against the hull of the Star with her fist, the physical pain far more welcome than the emotional.

[Vex]

This had not been fun experience. Not fun at all. Daryn had made this flight the flight of his life. The extraction point hadn't been hot. No...not at all. It had been molten. With the amount of fire and flak being thrown up...not to mention the decidedly less than friendly people sharing the air with the Star. It had been amazing that he'd managed to get there in one piece. The fact that he was able to take off again after picking them up was just another little miracle.

Unfortunately...it wasn't to last. Just when they finally manage to pull up and away from the flak coming from the ground, they flew into an aerial fight. He'd pulled just about every maneuver that he could think of...but the shields took a beating. As they reached the edge of the battle, a Republic ship was blown up while flying a close, perpendicular trajectory. Part of the cockpit punched through the weakened shields and took out the engine.

They'd gone into a lateral spin, like a hover disc. He'd had to kill the main engines in order to be able and eveny out. Stuck with only the lateral thrusters, he'd managed to even out and end the spin...but not until fifty meters from the ground. He'd slammed on the repulsors to full power to try and cushion the landing and pulled back the yoke, forcing the nose up as he feathered a push from the damaged engines to try and bleed off inertia.

It had worked...partially. The maneuver had managed to ricochet them away from the ground. It wouldn't have been terribly fun for anyone not strapped in...but
it certainly beat the fiery alternative.

Of course...the push with the engines caused them to start spinning again, though slower. Keeping the repulsors on, he wrestled with the controls, trying to even it out....but only marginally excessive. They still had too much forward momentum and when they landed, it was more than the repulsors could handle. The Star landed hard...but not terribly so. Livably so. The ship had gouged out the earth in its wake before finally coming to a stop.

Not exactly his crowning moment. At least not in his mind.

Almost two days later...he figured he was about to have another low day. It had been hard to miss Lia's reaction to everything. She held her heart on her sleeve most of the time. Things had been strange on the flight over, amongst other things...but he hadn't actually had time to talk to her about it then. Mandos and their prep for battle and all that.

Now...with all this...and the knowledge that their divine leader...their Mandalore...was dead? Something was definitely up. Her self-imposed isolation had warning bells going off all over. It wasn't hard to find her today...he was walking past the part of the bulkhead near where her fist hit...it actually made him jump a little. Curious, he exited the ship to find out what the deal was.

Which was how he found her. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned against the side of the ship, quiet for a long moment as he studied her in her grief. "You want to talk about it, doll?"

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

No…she didn’t want to talk about it.

He’d found her there, leaning against the hull of the Star, jumper half unzipped and tool belt hung around her hips, a few tears marking her face. When he had spoken, she’d jumped about half a mile out of her skin, whirling around to face him before settling down again and looking at the ground.

I…doubt you’d wan’ ta hear wha’ I ‘ave ta say.

It was honest, even if it was mumbled. She’d gotten herself in a right mess in more ways than one and now, like all messes she got herself into, it was threatening to drag her in, pull her under, and suffocate her to death. She’d kicked herself before for what she had been doing, even though technically she hadn’t been seeing either man, but at least Solus’ad had known about Daryn…the poor smuggler hadn’t a clue about Sol, however, and that was the bad thing about it. Well, one bad thing.

Her accent had kicked in heavy with her emotions, making her feel like she was neigh unintelligible to any sane being, but such was her state of being at the moment. Sorrow filled green eyes looked up at him for a moment before moving away again, too ashamed to be able to look at him long. He wasn’t stupid, he likely already knew, and if he didn’t…he had suspicions of what was wrong. He might not have completely known it yet but he was about to be hurt by her again, and she hated herself for it.

Why? Why did she do this to him? She hadn’t meant it the first time, and she hadn’t expected him to show up the second time…but this time…this time it was all her fault that he was going to be hurt…and you know what? She was going to deserve every bit of anger he could throw at her…but she couldn’t have helped it if she’d tried. Hell, she had tried…she’d tried to figure out logically who was the better match for her and she’d failed at logic it seemed. She had been prepared to tell Daryn her choice, to try and save him as much pain as possible, she didn’t want to string him along, but she had…she had by allowing them to share a night together…she had by keeping him around, and giving him hope that it would work out. Then she’d met Solus’ad.

She’d met him and he’d won her heart easier than Cuir had…and now…now Sol was dead.

Daryn…you shoul’ jus’ say ya hate me an’ walk away…I’m serious…don’ ask questions, just trust me tha’ you should an’ you will hate me an’ save us both the trouble…okay?

A shuddering breath escaped her as she folded her arms before her, ignoring the torn, bleeding, and swelling knuckles of her hand. She was trying to push him away, to save them both the pain of talking about what the situation was. Lia didn’t want him hurt by her any more…he needed to get away from her before she did anything else…before anything else happened to him because of her.

[Vex]

He was silent for a moment. A long moment. It was probably more silence than she'd ever heard from him...other than when he'd been sleeping in the aftermath of their time together. It couldn't be considered a good thing. The set of his jaw hardened and bright green of those eyes darkened as he nodded once. So, yeah...it was like he'd thought, like he'd feared.

"Sleep with him too then? At least gave the man a bit of a smile before he walked off into Mandalorian glory?" He actually smiled, though it was a caricature of that usual, easy going expression. "No wonder you wanted me in my own bunk. At least you aimed higher this time. Maybe help you get through the ranks, right? Guess that Mando'ade honor and integrity isn't that different from everyone else in the galaxy, eh?"

He spat on the ground like he was tasting something disgusting. He looked out over the scenery...over the trail of their landing...over what was left of the Star. He even looked up at the sky. "I gave up everything for you. Risked treason to help you...was willing to convert, to change...to be accepted. For you. So I could be with you. Thought you wanted to be with me...but people don't change, do they? I'm still aruetii... not worthy. Just something to scratch an itch until you found something better. Worthy. Chakaar'ad... I've been an idiot."

She'd seen several different sides of Daryn...but never bitter, never vicious. Not like now. "I'm done, Italia. You can take your Mando'ade. I'm not staying where I'm not wanted and I'm not going to play the consolation prize."

He turned on his heel and stormed back inside to get his things. His fists were clenched so tight his knuckles were white.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

Italia couldn’t say anything, even in that long, painful, silence that stretched between them. She wasn’t going to beg him for forgiveness, she didn’t deserve it. Even as he spoke, accused her of things she hadn’t done, she could only shake her head slightly and close her eyes. No, she’d not slept with Solus’ad…not in the way he’d meant. She’d had a nightmare, she’d fallen asleep beside him in the aftermath of her terror, but nothing more had happened. Ever.

Still she bit her tongue as he accused her of trying to further her rank by doing something she’d never done. Whatever mando’ade was in Italia, whatever fiery personality she had, it certainly wasn’t showing now as she took those insults. She may not have committed the crimes, but she certainly deserved the venom behind them, so she wasn’t going to stop him thinking and saying what he wanted. Dulled green eyes didn’t catch that harsh smile, or his looking around, and she only caught the spit on the ground because she’d heard it. She was too focused on some random patch of ground, too intent on keeping her eyes down, averting them from him, to see any of that.

No…it seemed people didn’t change. Maybe she couldn’t change? She still disagreed with him…he wasn’t aruetii…he’d been a serious consideration for her but Solus’ad had been more comfortable. Daryn…he made her uncertain, he was new and strange and it made her uncomfortable in a way. She didn’t know what to do with him, how to feel about him. He was just so…odd. She’d liked the familiar comfortability of Sol, the way they thought alike, the way they’d felt similarly, been through similar things. She winced slightly at his final words and sighed heavily.

I didn’ sleep with ‘im…

It was said quietly, softly enough that she would be very surprised if he heard her at all. The words weren’t meant for him, after all, but rather to reassure herself aloud that it was true. She leaned heavily against the Star and hung her head between her shoulders. It was best for him if he left…she couldn’t do any more damage to him that way. He’d only end up getting hurt…or worse, killed…if he stuck around her.