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last online Jun 4, 2023 4:58:38 GMT -5
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Mar 30, 2010 2:57:46 GMT -5
Post by Talau the Ever-Lurking on Mar 30, 2010 2:57:46 GMT -5
He’d grumbled and huffed and puffed and mumbled and brooded about the damage to his ship whether he’d known it or not. It wasn’t that she minded it either, it was almost entertaining honestly, but it had been a long day and near the tail ends of it she’d wanted to bristle back. Those were about the times that she reminded herself that really…this was her fault too. Karma was really wanting to bite her in the arse these days it seemed, and it was doing a bang up job of it…literally. She was banged up, he was banged up…even the frelling ship was banged up. Especially the frelling ship. Every conduit they crawled through, most of the sensors they tested, even some of the wiring they picked apart was damaged. She felt dirty, in more than one way.
Obviously physically she was half covered in the soot from the fires that had started, and those spaces were cramped and got hot after a bit due to the jungle humidity of the moon, so she’d got a bit sweaty, but it was more than that…she just felt…dirty. Lia didn’t like it one bit that he’d pushed his nose into this business with Ixor. If he got killed…she didn’t know what she’d do…she really didn’t, and add to the fact that he was apparently gonna stick to her like a sap to a tree when she had other plans, well…it just didn’t settle right with her. Not one bit. She’d kept her mood relatively light, considering the situation, but he wasn’t stupid and she knew it…now, anyway. As they’d climbed back out of the conduits and into the cockpit of the Ante, she’d opted to lean against the wall of the hallway just outside of it, arms folded across her chest and watched him through deep green eyes.
Originally she’d had her armor on…she’d needed to meet with one of the captains in the base to settle everything with the Ops here and the best way to verify her credentials had been her armor, ident-chip and her badge from Concord Dawn. After their situation had been relayed and clearance given to the Ante to come and go from this landing pad, she’d stripped it off and stowed it away. That left her in her more utilitarian clothing…some durable brown pants, blue top, boots and her belt. It wasn’t her mechanic’s coverall and belt, but oh well…that had been lost with the Star. Pity really. The beads than hung from her hair, over her shoulder clicked together slightly as she wiped the back of her wrist along the edge of her hair to rid it of some of the beads of sweat forming there and smudging some of the grey-black soot that clung to her.
“Ain’t no frelling way I’ll be able to get her patched up proper here, Lia. These parts aren’t just something you can take out of any old stock hunk of space junk. Even if your boys here had the parts, I know they don’t have the know-how to get everything rigged up proper and make sure it’s right…and I don’t have the time to be sitting with them every step of the way to make sure it is.”
A minor shrug of her shoulders told him it was his choice. His ship, his choice, she wasn’t going to argue with how he handled his baby. He knew her better, dealt with her more, was just as attached to her as she’d been to the Star…she knew better than to argue. She didn’t want to. Didn’t even deserve to at this point. The jab at mando rigging was dismissed with a heavy sigh and another shrug, her face one of passive neutrality, hints of weariness showing only in those green eyes as they dulled slightly around the edges.
“As it is, she’s half-blind and halfway to naked against anything nasty coming at us. Not to mention the faults that got thrown into the system thanks to the breaker system failing to contain the damage. Something, I might add…that was worked on while I was on Concord Dawn.”
The unintentional bite only earned the slightest of tensing around the eyes, a suppressed wince that vanished faster than it had come. Part of her felt like telling him he could go find hump a goat, and that she’d not been the one working on the ship, she’d only been the one to get him the deal…but another part of her said that discretion was the better part of valor, so she stayed silent and eyed him with the look of someone simply too tired to argue. Wide awake as she was, as physically rested as she may or may not have been, she was simply too emotionally tired to start an argument with him over something so trivial.
“I could probably get the parts in Onderon. I can pull some strings and, even if there’s none there, I can get them shipped in quick. I’ll pay a premium, but it beats limping around the gorram Verse. Given my luck, I’d wind up hypering out into the middle of a pack of pirates or the bloody ship will decide it doesn’t want to come out of the slip at all and I go flying into some gravity mass. Given a choice, I’d rather die in bed, in the throes of passion, with you on top…if you don’t mind.”
At his wink she rolled her eyes and managed the smallest of smirks.
Yeah well I think most of us would rather go out that way. Kinda sad it don’t happen that way half the time.
How much you thinkin’ those parts are gonna cost, Dar? I can pay some of it at least seein’ as it’s part my fault for all this…an’ while you’re on Onderon it’ll gimme the chance ta see if I can’t sniff out somethin’ on Ixor an’ his lot…maybe take a short “walkabout”. Feel like I could use one…
She was, of course, using the term in the loosest of fashions. It wouldn’t be anything like her verd’goten…her right of passage…(she hoped), but it would still be a sort of spiritual journey. Something to clear her mind and gather herself back together emotionally…maybe help ease herself back into some semblance of normalcy. It was a reach but it was worth a try, and what better place than the one place she hated most? The one place she had so many bad memories of.
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Vex
A Self-styled computer geek that moonlights as a G.I. Joe.
1,014 posts
2 likes
Proud bearer of the "Polish Stalker Badge".
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last online May 21, 2018 17:30:54 GMT -5
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Mar 30, 2010 20:31:03 GMT -5
Post by Vex on Mar 30, 2010 20:31:03 GMT -5
"Well...as long as you stick with me, Lia, I'm gonna look to make sure that eventuality remains on the table." He flashed that daring, ne'er-do-well grin at her again before he turned his hands back over to his controls. His palms slid smoothly over the yoke...but shook ever so slightly when they passed over the trigger points for his ion cannons. He closed his eyes for a minute.
He'd been very good in segmenting parts of what had happened on Shogun away...focusing instead on the bigger picture...the greater good...her. He'd done it with the argument they'd had...when he'd learned that she'd been in love with Solus'ad and had planned on leaving him. That had been a heart-wrenching moment for him, nearly tearing him apart. He'd forced himself to accept that though...to close himself off from it and move on. It was what had allowed him to continue helping her family and come after her. He accepted that she could not see him in the same way he'd seen her....that she wouldn't ever feel the same way as he'd almost succumbed to feeling for her. Such was the way of the galaxy.
He'd turned that to trying to make sure that she'd at least take care of herself and not get herself killed. She had a good family...people that cared about her, even if she didn't always care about herself. He would take care of her until she was willing to take care of herself...and then he'd make himself walk away when she, inevitably, found someone that would make her feel like she couldn't for him.
Another part of Shogun still haunted him, however...and it wasn't so readily set aside. He had managed to ignore it for the longest time...and he hadn't yet had another dream of it. If he had, no doubt, she would have asked about it...seeing as how she hadn't exactly moved back into the quarters he'd initially given her.
He still remembered lifting off from the Bravo drop zone...hearing Mal's words...his promise then...the promise he fought to ensure was kept even now. He remembered taking up those controls with vivid detail...and he remembered the satisfaction, the sick....oily....heated...and justified feeling of satisfaction as he'd strafed those soldiers coming out after the Mandalorians. All that rage that had fueled it had seemed so easy...so unlike him.
At her words, he shook his head, breaking out of the funk and the long, parsec stare he'd held for a moment. "No...I don't need it, Lia. I still know some of the backside account access' my father has. Seeing as how he's missed my birthday for the last few years...I'll just pick soe of my own." He gave her that apparently guileless grin...that of someone completely comfortable with their own confidences. There was just a hint of brittleness to it.
At the rest of her words, he'd stand and move over to her. "If you do that, Lia...I need you to give me your word...give me your word on your Clan that you won't do anything...won't make a move to be aggressive or anything to put yourself in overt danger until I come back. Promise to keep yourself safe until I can be back here to watch your back."
His hands found hers and squeezed them as he head-butted her lightly. He'd wait for her promise...wouldn't leave without it...but once he got it, then he'd move toward his bunk. "I think we've done enough for one day, Lia. I need some time in the 'fresher...and some rest. Maybe even a drink..."
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last online Jun 4, 2023 4:58:38 GMT -5
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Mar 31, 2010 4:40:36 GMT -5
Post by Talau the Ever-Lurking on Mar 31, 2010 4:40:36 GMT -5
She watched him, his actions, his looks, read his emotions like a book as he stared into nothing. His devil-may-care grin and typical Daryn retort went ignored, for once, and she focused on the rest of what he didn’t say. Lia didn’t consider herself intelligent, knew she certainly wasn’t the brightest of the bunch, but she knew she had considerably well developed powers of observation. When you weren’t overly intelligent you had to make up for it in other ways…one of hers was the fact that she knew people. She tended to be good at reading them when her head was on straight and she wasn’t acting the bouncy ball of energy. She certainly wasn’t that right now and her attention was locked on the man sitting before her. The minor trembling of his hands as they passed over the triggers for his weapons, the blank gaze, the dark…almost dismal…air around him…
She sighed slightly and lowered her eyes. Lia blamed herself for a lot of things concerning her actions and the effects they had on others, but something that had only started to set in recently was (unsurprisingly) something involving Daryn…something that hadn’t directly been her fault. Daryn, the one person who never killed anyone, had killed. If it was eating at her, she couldn’t imagine what it was doing to him. Well, sort of…but…those memories were faded now, and distant. Something that seemed like it had happened in a completely different life time. Looking back up, she caught the shake of his head.
“No…I don’t need it, Lia. I still know of the backside account access’ my father has. Seeing as how he’s missed my birthday for the last few years…I’ll just pick some of my own.”
His smile didn’t fool her…not exactly. The slightly strained and unnatural formation of it, the way it didn’t quite hold in his eyes, the almost cold feeling it gave her…it was like some of the ones she gave. It was a very good mask, but it was difficult to fool people who wore masks with a mask. She saw it for what it was, but that didn’t necessarily mean she knew why he wore it…she had guesses, but that was it.
It ain’t a matter of if ya need it or not, Dar, it’s a matter of my doin’ what I feel is right. If ya don’t want the creds from me just say so…ain’t gonna hurt me any.
As he stood and walked over to her, taking her hands and squeezing them, she gave him a small smile and sighed, shaking her head at his words. She hadn’t intended to do more than she said she would…there’d been no hiding anything, no double meanings, no need to read between the lines…all Italia had intended to do was poke around a bit. The auburn knew why he was doing this, making her promise, the many reasons why he insisted on getting her word that she wouldn’t go looking for trouble. Really, she couldn’t blame him. He’d made promises, heard and seen how she’d acted on the Star as it went down over Dxun…and more than that, he really, truly, cared about her. He didn’t want her doing something stupid, and stupid seemed to be on tap with her lately. As he head-butted her lightly, she stayed silent like that for a moment, just enjoying him being close, her eyes closing tightly for several long moments before she sighed out her emotions and looked up at him, not bothering to pull back to do so.
I wasn’t gonna, but if it’ll make you feel better, I promise…on my honor as part of Ordo and Shiros clans, my word as a Mando’ad, an’ the crew of the Star, I won’ go lookin’ for trouble…ni dinu ner miit, Daryn. Haat, ijaa, haa’it.
There wasn’t another thing she could justifiably put her oath on, not another word she could say to him, that would prove her point…her sincerity…on the matter any more than she’d said. She’d sworn on everything she’d ever held dear, including the former crew of the Star (a painful oath that she’d only given once to her father), followed by giving her word to him in Mando’a and then sealing it with those final words. There was simply nothing else she could say to prove to him how serious she was. He seemed appeased, however, as he let go and started toward his bunk.
“I think we’ve done enough for one day, Lia. I need some time in the ‘fresher…and some rest. Maybe even a drink…”
She sighed nodded once, feeling…lost.
Manda help me…Rish, what the frell would you do in a situation like this? I'm no good at this kinda thing…how the hell do you help someone through this kinda thing? You made it seem so easy…
Leaning against the opposite side of the corridor, she stood quietly for a moment, gazing unseeingly at the metal under her hands as if it would give her the answers she sought. Finally, she stood and caught up to him, gently gripping his upper arm to stop him.
Dar…hey, Dar, stop a moment.
Green eyes looked over him, soft and uncertain…two things she rarely was. Lia hadn’t a clue really what she was doing…barely even knew what she was thinking…but she knew she had to do something. Never had she been one to stand around and do nothing when she could do something, when she knew something needed doing, when she saw others hurting or suffering…it just wasn’t in her to let things like this slide by…even if she didn’t know exactly what to do or how to handle them.
I…oh please don’t let me muss this up…if…after we get cleaned up and what not…if ya wanted…or needed, rather…ta talk about what happened on Shogun…I mean, before the Star went down…Brilliant Lia…please tell me you can do better’n this, girl…
She winced slightly and lowered her head, sighing. This wasn’t going to help anything! Gathering herself back together, she tried again and hoped this attempt would go better than the last.
Look…I'm not gonna lie an’ say I know exactly how your feelin’, but I'm not blind. I can tell that you’re still shook up over killin’ those men on Shogun…saw yer hand shakin’ as you were at the controls just now…when you touched the weapons trigger. I can all but feel it around you right now…now…I'm not Rish, I don’ know how ta help someone get over that kinda thing…never had to before…but…I can’t just stand by an’ watch you suffer either. So…I might blunder it a bit…I mean look at what I just sounded like a minute ago…but I'm here for ya an’ I'm willin’ ta try an’ help…if…if you want it or…or decide you need it. Okay?
She’d managed to lift her head up and look at him again as she spoke, those emerald eyes running through a mixture of emotions as she did. Every word was uncertain, almost hesitant at points, as she lay out her thoughts. It wasn’t exactly comfortable for her to do, she was so afraid of doing more damage than good, but she had to try…she had to. She’d already caused him enough pain, she had to try and fix some of it, somehow. With a weary sigh, she let go of his arm and folded her arms around herself before offering him a weak smile and let out a meek chuckle.
A drink sounds like a good idea after all this…
The muttered words were more to herself than him, and she shook her head slightly at the thought that had escaped her mind and come out into the world.
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Vex
A Self-styled computer geek that moonlights as a G.I. Joe.
1,014 posts
2 likes
Proud bearer of the "Polish Stalker Badge".
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last online May 21, 2018 17:30:54 GMT -5
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Apr 10, 2010 15:02:25 GMT -5
Post by Vex on Apr 10, 2010 15:02:25 GMT -5
He had paused, stiffening as she called out to him. He'd been content enough with the oath that she'd given him. He trusted her enough with that. She would never swear on those things lightly or easily. The fact that she had made it apparent just how serious she took things. It helped quell some of his anxiety. It was enough that he could settle for drinking away the rest in a fifth of Corellian Whiskey. She, however, was not content with letting that happen. He turned as she reached out and gripped his arm, turning him to look at her.
If this were any sort of laughing matter, he would have. Seeing her like that...ever the insufferable, undeniable warrior, Mando'a, mercenary, clans woman... she held many mantles. Psychologist wasn't one he'd ever have put on her. Given the way she started out...he doubted anyone ever would. The two of them didn't talk about feelings so much. He understood enough, could feel enough, to empathize...to realize what she was feeling without having to go into it. He simply gave her what she needed. Now she was trying to do the same.
He started by trying to divert her train of thought. "Yeah...I'm sorry, Lia...if I'd been a better pilot...maybe things would have bee-...." He stopped when she restarted and spoke the secod time. This time he dropped his head a bit...not trying to change the subject while she spoke.
He was silent for a long moment...the quiet stretching out almost to the point that it would seem he had no intention of answering. Finally, however, he spoke, his voice unusually low and slow for him. "It...shouldn't have been so easy. It should never be that easy. It...felt good. It was sick and wrong and...good. There wasn't a reason...they couldn't have harmed the ship...not with what they had. I didn't have to. I just wanted...needed them to suffer. It's not me, Italia. It's never been me...I've always been so careful. I...I don't understand it. What is wrong with me?"
For once...that rogue had no swagger, no indomitable self-confidence or devil-may-cry attitude. For once...he seemed vulnerable.
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last online Jun 4, 2023 4:58:38 GMT -5
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Apr 10, 2010 21:20:39 GMT -5
Post by Talau the Ever-Lurking on Apr 10, 2010 21:20:39 GMT -5
((K'uur = Hush))
His silence wasn’t exactly reassuring. It wasn’t that she blamed him for not wanting to answer…really, what had she expected? For him to suddenly open up and tell her everything he felt on the situation? No…not really…she wasn’t the type you just opened up to…not after everything that had happened. She shifted a little and stood up away from the wall, starting to move past him, when the low tone of his voice finally reached her ears. Stopping, the little mando woman turned to face him once more, the two nearly face to face in the small space of the hallway.
More than he might have guessed, she understood how he felt. Lia had felt similarly when she’d killed for the first time…and again, to a greater degree, when she fought the crew of the Star. It had been the same with the Republic soldiers on Coruscant, despite the fact that they could have killed her several times over…it had been easy…she’d almost enjoyed it, gotten a sick sense of pleasure from her first kill, and the deaths of the Republic’s soldiers…it had been easy to kill the people she’d worked so long with…though she hadn’t gotten any pleasure from it.
“I…I don’t understand it. What is wrong with me?”
Those words tore at her heart, reminding her of the mistake she’d made in having him pilot the Star on the Shogun mission. His head and eyes still lowered, that vulnerable side of him…he seemed so defeated and wounded. With a soft sigh, she stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, one hand gently stroking the hair at the back of his head and the nape of his neck.
K’uur…Daryn, k’uur. Nothin’ is wrong with you. The fact that you feel so conflicted about it means you’re just fine. It’s…you were angry, an’ hearin’ Mal like that didn’ help. They were the best targets ta take your frustration out on an’ still be even slightly in the right. It…may not sound right…and…in a lot of ways it isn’t, but…that’s how the mind seems ta work in times like that. You get hit the right way, your body reacts…works the same way with emotions. Your buttons get pushed in the right way an’ sometimes…sometimes a person just reacts.
The soft tone of her voice was another contrast to the ‘norm’ that was Lia’s personality…something she didn’t show just anyone. She hadn’t shown Cuir this side of her…she hadn’t shown Daryn this side of her…not until now. This was a rare thing to see in a mando outside of their own home and reserved for those they were closest to…there was another way to interpret the Resol’nare rule of “Wear armor.”
Lia had just stripped her armor willingly.
I know that…what I just said doesn’t help much, Daryn, but…it’s true enough. Don’t mean there’s somethin’ wrong with you…just means you’re human, an’ prone to human reactions. When I first killed someone, Rish…Rish told me that the fact I felt badly about it afterward meant I was still a good person, with good morals, an’ that understood that takin’ a life I shouldn’t have wasn’t the right thing ta do an’ would make me try harder to avoid it in the future.
She pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes, moving the hand that had been stroking the back of his head and neck to run lightly along the side of his face before resting against his cheek.
I think that’s true for you too. You’re still a good person, one of the best I’ve met, an’ ‘cause you feel so badly about it jus’ means that you understand that what ya did may have felt right at the time, but it wasn’t…so you can avoid it in the future.
She paused then, her mind flickering back through what she’d just said and her plans for the future, realizing just what she’d started out to do and the full consequences of it. No, she decided, she wasn’t going to follow through on the assassinations…there were other ways to help her people. She would find them…she had to or she might end up following the same path as Ixor. Leaning forward she gently pressed her lips against his for a moment, allowing the soft touch to linger for only a moment before pulling away again and looking at him seriously, the beads holding her hair clicking gently together behind her as if to further remind her and see that she would follow through on her thoughts.
I’ll help ya with that as best I can, I promise…jus’ as long as ya help me remember it also. I think…I think I might have started ta forget until just now…
Green eyes fixed Daryn with a “please, say you’ll do that for me” look as her thumb stroked softly along his cheek. Shifting, she moved that hand, wrapping the corresponding arm around him again and pulling him more tightly to her, kissing his neck once before simply standing there in the hall and holding him close. They both needed it, albeit for different reasons. Soft, red hair brushed along the side of his face and neck as tried her best to give him some kind of reassurance that everything would be alright without pushing too many boundaries. Lia had felt him stiffen earlier when she’d caught hold of him, and though she saw the vulnerability in him, she didn’t want her actions and affections to push him away and close him off…that was the last thing she wanted to happen. She’d said about all she could to help ease his mind, though, and so all she could really do now was offer the warmth of her embrace to help soothe him.
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Vex
A Self-styled computer geek that moonlights as a G.I. Joe.
1,014 posts
2 likes
Proud bearer of the "Polish Stalker Badge".
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last online May 21, 2018 17:30:54 GMT -5
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Apr 28, 2010 20:02:11 GMT -5
Post by Vex on Apr 28, 2010 20:02:11 GMT -5
He tensed again when she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. He almost felt as if he didn't deserve to be comforted for that. He'd taken those men's lives like that...without regret or remorse for the action. How much sympathy did he really deserve? He'd always had a code...a way of living his life, despite what he'd chosen to do. He'd been in some hairy situations, situations where his life had been on the line. He could have chosen to take life then. Heck, it would have been a lot easier in some instances...but he hadn't. He'd chosen the higher road and gotten himself out using his intelligence and reflexes. He'd never had to resort to killing.
Until now.
What really bothered him was the fact that there hadn't really been a need for it. If it had been self-defense or defense of Lia or someone else, he probably could have justified his actions. It wasn't though...he hadn't saved anyone or even attempted to. The only attempt that had been made was for vengeance and that he'd gotten in spades.
He listened to her as she spoke...slowly relaxing slightly in minute increments from the tone of her voice and the gentle way with which she held him close and wouldn't let him go. Slowly he'd nod, eyes closed as he pulled her closer, drawing comfort from her small frame as she attempted to console him. He'd blink and look at her as she took the step back, pressing her palm against his cheek as she caught his gaze with her own.
When she leaned in and kissed him, he didn't stop it. The warmth, that connection...it was a balm for him. He could only nod when she asked him for that promise, his voice soft and still broken. "Yeah...of course." He relaxed more when she pulled him closer again and her felt that kiss to his throat. Holding her close, he'd finally let the tension drain out of him slightly while he tried to forget everything except for her.
Eventually though, he'd pull away a bit and look at her. "So...what now?"
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last online Jun 4, 2023 4:58:38 GMT -5
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Apr 30, 2010 18:48:58 GMT -5
Post by Talau the Ever-Lurking on Apr 30, 2010 18:48:58 GMT -5
Something she was doing seemed to be working (thank Manda), as Daryn slowly started to relax in her embrace. He’d tensed up again when she’d caught him up in that gentle hug, talking to him and trying to help ease his suffering. The fact that his muscles loosened and he pulled her closer gave her the hope that maybe…for once…she was doing right by him. He allowed her to kiss him and then agreed to help her stay on the right track…help her remember a lesson she should have never forgotten in the first place. For several long moments they stood there like that, holding each other, and she lightly let her head rest against his shoulder until he moved to look at her again.
What now? That was a good question. Green eyes took in his soot streaked face and she was torn between the desire to actually get clean and the stronger desire to not let him go. A weak smile formed on her face then, as she came up with a half decent compromise.
How ‘bout we go get cleaned up…together? I don’ feel like letting you out of my arms right now.
Well, she’d been on an honest streak for a while…may as well continue it with her idea.
Second thought…that wasn’t a question…that was a statement. C’mon.
Taking his hand, she scooted past him and lead him quietly down the hall toward his quarters.
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