Equb Zekio

[Equb]

Name: Equb Zekio
Race: Ithorian
Age: 9
Height: 5'10
Weight: 141
Appearance:
Birth place: Ithor

Faction: Jedi Faction
Rank: Youngling

Bio:

Equb was born into a wealthy family on the planet of Ithor. His mother Ithio worked as an assistant on one of the herdships, trying to make sure that the planet stayed as perfect as it had looked before. His father was the Captain of one of these ships. As soon as he was born he was took from his parents by the Jedi for training. When he was 11 months old he learned to walk on his own. Since he grew up around the basic languge that was what he mostly used, but he also had an Ithorian tutor named Elisio to teach him Ithorian, at the age of 2 years.

His days at the temple were so busy. He trained with his basic force sensitve powers. He studied his Ithorian in the night but mostly trained in the force. All of the training that he did would pay off. By now since he first started training at the temple at 2 he was 4. He had a bit of more trouble with his training lightsaber at 5, but he trained with his force powers through that year until he was 6. He got the hang of it and started getting good with it. He was a very determined ithorian. He wanted to be the best Jedi that he could possibly be.

At the age of 7, Equb began to mature and continued to train with his force powers and with his training lightsaber. The masters told him about how certain things can lead you down the path of the dark side. He made sure he did none of these things. He was determined not to be tempted by the dark side. He began to start looking at History Holocrons. He loved the history of the Jedi.
His force powers had improved much more then his lightsaber skills. But at the age of 8, his lightsaber skills began to get better almost even to his force powers. He was thinking it was time to start searching for master.

At age 9, Equb started searching for a master to train him as a padawan and lead him to become a jedi knight. He wanted to find the right master to train him. Even if it took him till he was 13. His true master had to be out there somewhere. Mabye just mabye he would find them.

Lightsaber: Single Bladed, Traning Saber
Color: Green

Practiced Lightsaber forms: Shii-Cho

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:
Telekinetic: 3
Telepathic: 3
Body: 1
Sense: 2
Protection: 1
Healing: 2
Destruction: 0

Specialized Skills: Will learn Force Bellow

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 3
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 3
Leadership: 1

Unarmed: 0
Melee Weapons: 2
Ranged Weapons: 0

Force Attunement: +3

[Meira]

All of the training that he did would pay off the day that he had to fight his first sith

No mention of the sith. Younglings would know nothing about them. Such information would be too risky to give to younglings.

As far as Force Bellow goes, I don't think he would begin training in this until his padawan years. Just because his species has a knack for it doesn't mean he can start learning it so young. Such skills still require a development of other techniques and understanding before they can be used.

This bio could use a little more information about Equb's personality. A sentence or two here or there.

On to stats:

Lightsaber stats: He should have a training saber, not a fully functioning one. One builds a fully functioning saber in their padawan years.

You need to have a number with Shii-Cho, not likely above a 2

Force stats are fine, though healing should be brought down to a 2. Again, just because a species has a knack doesn't necessarily mean their skills are higher just because. There is still theory and technique that needs to be learned. Also, take out the disclaimers about why these stats are higher. I understand and they clutter the bio.

Attributes:

Take out the sentence about him being faster. That's what the speed stat is for, no sentence required.

His strength is likely higher than a 1. If he seems to be physically weak, he could still have a 2. Also, his intelligence stat is in the mentally retarded range. Remember that 5 is average. Is he really so unintelligent? All force sensitive beings tend to have at least average intelligence.

[Equb]

OK i fixed it

[Meira]

mmk, good changes.

Now, just for good measure I would like for you to put "will be learning force bellow" under specialized skills. Because technically, he won't start his training in this technique until he becomes a padawan.

Do you have a master lined up for this character?

Since you will likely become a padawan through RP, I would like to see a sample RP just to see where you're at. It won't affect your approval, just something to see where you stand.

[Equb]

No i dont have a master lined up. But Heres my Rp Sample.

It had been a quiet day at the temple. All that Equb had done was study look at holocrons and practicing with his training lightsaber. Then it hapened, he heard a giant boom! He looked outside of the window in his room. He then saw a ship heading straight for his room. He turned and ran as fast as he could stumbling on his big feet. He took a right heading for the library. He told one of the Jedi Knights there was a ship coming straight for his room. He ran back to his room with the Jedi Knight. Then while they were in Equbs room a Jedi master came, then the Jedi knight and master started using the force to repel the ship, and then they set it in the courtyard. They looked down at the ship from Equbs room and began to run to the courtyard.

They Looked in the ship when they were in the courtyard. Then they went in, Equb watched intensivley, then the Knight and master ran out of the ship they're lightsabers turned on. "Run!" they said, Equb didnt waste any time he ran straight to his room and looked out of his window. When he did he was very suprised. The knight and master were fighting two dark jedis. Equb hid under his bed. He was very scared then his room door opened he looked from under his bed and saw a green lightsaber, so he come from under the bed. But when he did he saw the jedi master falling. "Master are you alright?" The Jedi replied to him " I am just.." then, a sith came into the room his cloak over his head. Then swoosh! He had cut of the Jedi's head, was this the final day that Equb would see? Equb closed his eyes and rethought his training then he yelled out "Help me!!!" Mabye this was it for Equb. Just mabye...

[Meira]

Ok, I edited the bio for you, moving the "Will learn Force Bellow" from where you had it, to where it needs to be under Specialized Skills. I did that because I know you've been waiting a while for me to get back here and approve you, and I didn't want to make you wait longer. I hope that's ok. I usually don't modify people's profiles, but that's the only thing I touched.

Like I said, your RP sample will not affect your approval, but I want to note some things to you. On this site, we are all about realism. And it's not realistic that two dark jedi would fly up to the Jedi temple just to start a fight. And there's no way only two of them would make it very far. So, in your future writing, keep this in mind.

Now, the moment you have long been waiting for!



APPROVED!

[Jenno]

Moved to Inactive.