The Moments That Make You

Jedi Master Jace Beleren remained impassive as he listened Vreem's words. He had sensed that something was amiss with Vreem, especially with the condition he had returned in. In all honesty, Jace didn't have much time to give it thought. He was weary, he had been running around the galaxy dealing with one issue after the next. Traveling wasn't the only problem though, the darkness was also sapping energy out of him. It wasn't much of a problem here in the core, but when he was in the Outer Rim, it was as if he weighed down.After a few long moments of silence, Jace finally spoke.

"This Veratos.....this thought of another controlling him bothers me greatly. My instinct also tells me that there are more powerful foes than Veratos. To think that such powerful beings are consolidating their power. It is highly possible that there are many more who are powerful in the dark side of the Force. If they were to consolidate their powers, the Jedi will be hard pressed to keep it at bay.

We must keep heart though, for the sake of the galaxy. I myself have had dark visions of late. With the Sith Empire on the move, and these Dark Jedi, we need to be cautious. The Jedi may have to take a more proactive part in this scheme if we are to survive. This is just one of the many matters that need to be discussed though...

It is enough that you have returned relatively safe, Vreem. That journey to Korriban did not wield any weapon but I seemed to have gained some understanding. Understanding of myself, and also understanding of those who we will inevitably face...yet it came at a great cost....


Jace left it at that, for he wanted to hear what his companions had to say on this matter. Each of them had been through numerous experiences, dark and light. They were some of the strongest and most enlightened being in the galaxy. Yet there were others out there who were just as strong or even stronger. Those who would use their powers to cause chaos and tyranny.

Understanding… yes, Vreem had though the same. After overcoming the tomb’s trial he had felt more confident than he could ever remember. So sure of what was right and what was wrong, so able and willing to sacrifice his own freedom in order for his comrades and friends to escape alive.

Staying on that rock may have been one of the most foolish moves of Vreem’s life. Of course it had proven useful to the cause, the Council alone would now know about the existence of the Sith and they would be able to prepare to face them when they finally made their move. However, the hope, faith and confidence which Vreem had gained from those trials had been crushed the moment his lightsaber clashed with Jahn’s.

Now he felt cold, torn up inside. His thoughts had been ravaged by the wild claws of confusion, the ferocious teeth of failure sank into his flesh, breaking through the skin and muscle until it’s fangs were wrapped around his heart, his centre. It felt like he had lost his padawan all over again. Like Grahn had taken away the light, purity and innocence of life and once again corrupted it with his darkness. Now everything was rotting.

Yet, these things, he could not show them, could not feel. The Order would not allow it, especially not for someone in his position. A member of the High Council, one of the twelve most wise and skilled throughout the entire Order, but what did that mean, to be ‘wise’? Should know all the answers? Should he be able to overcome all the demons in the starry sky? Should he give up on all of those he was attached to? He didn’t, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t. Was this really the criteria for a High Council Member? For a Jedi Master? For a Jedi? How deep did his failure go?

Vreem felt so weak and fragile, like a gentle breeze would cause him to shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. But after all those years of training, blocking out all the feelings and emotions that would get in the way of his duties, and all that could be seen of his inner struggle was a small pang of sorrow on the Jedi’s face.

There was no time for what he felt; his position demanded all his focus, all his effort. How could he put his own feelings and thoughts before the fate of the Galaxy? Perhaps later, much later, there would be time to talk to someone. But in truth, Vreem doubted that he’d still need to talk when the opportunity finally came around. He would be alone with his mind on a number of occasions before then; most likely he would form some solution, good or bad, during that time.

“A cost greater than any can give…” Vreem added to Jace’s own comments. He snapped his attention back onto the Grand Master and fellow Council Member. “I feel as though we are still in the early stages of events, yet I fear that we are a number of steps behind all the other players in this twisted game. Perhaps it would be best to start acting now, Council can not be held until the morning now, but every moment we waste whilst we know of the Sith’s return only helps them. Of course, I’m not suggesting we form any sort of resistance, we know too little about our opponents for that, we don’t know their numbers, their strengths or their weaknesses. In fact, we have no information about them, which is why I think we need to act. We need to start gathering information about them, anything we can. The Council must see this as the best course of action, so in preparation why don’t you allow me to start drafting up ideas for who to assign and where. Then when the Council agrees we will be prepared to act immediately. And if they don’t agree, then we must persuade them.” His eyes were lit with a passionate fire. “Although I fear that some members of the Council might not fully trust my words, that is why I asked to speak to both of you now.” His lips tightened shut as he fought off the truth. He wished it wasn’t so but most of the council were still unsure of him, even after a year of service amongst them.

Jace looked at the man he had respected for a long time, and now considered a friend. There was little change in his face, but for all that he tried to hide, Jace could sense the turmoil. Who was he to judge though?was he not experience this same turmoil within himself. He believed that there was no fault in this those, it was what made them Jedi. It was because they constantly reflected on choices, that they could be so resolute later. If one had conviction but went about it without considering all options, they were just being reckless.

Once again the doubts from his expedition to Korriban flooded back to him, and he was hard pressed to suppress them. He looked at the two people in the room with him, and he willed the thoughts away. He was a Jedi Council member, he could not have such thoughts...or could he? Little did Jace know, that Vreem had the same thoughts just moments ago.

He was saved the contemplation of what a Jedi's duties were as Vreem began to speak. Jace had learned to listen carefully to this man, for there was much wisdom in his speech. As many a time before, Vreem's thoughts reflected Jace's own. They did not know enough about this coming threat, and it made them vulnerable.

"They say knowledge is power, if that is true, then we are truly vulnerable. Just as you have said Vreem, there is too much we do not know, and our first step should be to gain a better understanding to light our path.

You musn't worry Vreem, the council does not doubt your judgment. We cannot be doubting each other in this time, our strength will come from unity. If the council is not united, how can we expect the rest of the Order to be?

suffice to say, I am in favor of this plan.."

In truth, Jace was disquieted but Vreem's worry about certain council members views. True, he had a somewhat shady past, but who did not? True strength comes from encountering the darkness and conquering it. Jace and many other Jedi had been near or even to the darkside and had returned.

Bold words poured from Jace’s mouth, perhaps enough to convince a Knight or Master that what he said was true but sitting on the Council had opened his eyes somewhat, there were still those amongst the ranks who were hindering the Order and not helping it. With the resurgence of the Sith they would need a strong and unified front, right now unity seemed like a naïve dream.

There were a few amongst the Council who had been around for a long time and witnessed his return from Korriban; they had been as arrogant then as they were now. In fact, the years between then and now had even added a few more levels of ignorance to their already abundant arsenal. Vreem did not know how he had earned such scrutiny for those who were meant to guide and help him. Had they known Grahn? It was odd for them to treat him this way simply because he had once been a part of the Dark Side, there were a number of Jedi amongst the ranks who had fallen and returned, and they were all praised for their determination. Or perhaps it was because Vreem had never dropped his experiments with the Dark Side ever since he had returned from Korriban, perhaps they were jealous that he could use the tricks of the Dark Jedi without any repercussions. It was a mystery he doubted he’d ever be able to uncover.

The pressing matters of planning and preparation were enough to save the mystery for another time. “What about you Master Eris, do you think it’s wise to act now?” A shattering silence came from his left, just out his peripheral range of sight. “Master Eris?” He asked again, turning to face her slowly. A hand was raised to her forehead and her face was screwed up in pain. In a few moments her eyes fluttered and she began to tumble to the ground, fortunately Jace was quick to step in and catch her body as it fell. With a quick, worried glance to one another Master Beleran began calling to Eris, hitting her face lightly, no response. He lay her down, she was breathing, but nothing would wake her. Grabbing her body he hefted it up and rushed to the medical facilities within the temple, Vreem dashed on ahead to alert those who were on duty, and to wake those who be needed.



A week later Vreem stumbled out of an uneasy sleep in his chair to see the body of Eris, their Grand Master, still laying in her bed. The room provided for her was especially clean, comfortable and well-lit; the Republic had spared no expense when they had offered to take on Grand Master Eris’ case.

Reports had only come back regarding her case late last night, Vreem had been present but Jace had been dealing with important matters elsewhere. The Council had been informed of the situation and a few had come to see for themselves and to wish for their Grand Master’s health.

But things were not looking good, Vreem pushed himself up from the chair which had doubled as his bed for the past few nights, when he’d actually been able to get in a few odd hours of sleep that was. He and Jace had been by her side almost every moment after she had collapsed; this was the first time his friend had been dragged away elsewhere. Massaging his eyes, Vreem poured himself a cup of water and waited until his fellow Jedi Master would arrive.

He could still sense doubt in Vreem; Jace at least knew the man that much. There was still so much about Vreem of which he did not know, including his dark past. He had heard rumors, saying he fell to the darkside, some saying he still wasn't loyal to the Order. He had seen Vreem use darkside powers on Korriban, but they seemed not to have a hold over him, no doubt this was a source for some mistrust that he had spoken of.

His attention was turned back by Vreem's words calling to the Grandmistress. He at first heard silence, assuming she was contemplating some sly remark which she always had even for the most serious situations. He suddenly watched her swoon, and quickly moved to her side, to catch her frail body. He called to her, as did Vreem, but she was unresponsive. She had a pulse, but couldn't be woken up, even with a few gentle slaps.

Vreem rushed ahead, moments later, no doubt to the medical bay. Jace hefted her up easily in his arms, and quickly made his way moments after Vreem. Minutes later he arrived at the medical bay, and placed her on the bed, as the medical staff began to tend to her. He quickly made his way over to the doctor who was currently in charge of the situation.

"The Grand master's condition is not to leave this room. You will report directly to either myself of Master Took"

News of the Grand masters illness could be dangerous in the wrong hands. Until they knew exactly what was wrong with her, he did not want any unnecessary information to leak.

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Jace made his way through the halls of the Temple, almost a week after he had brought Eris to the medical bay. He tried to keep his pace normal, but he had gotten word that her diagnosis was complete. He had almost spent every minute for the last week in the medical bay beside the Grand Master. Unfortunately, he had to take care of Council issues, and was called away for the day. Vreem was with her at the moment, as he had been for the past week.

This whole illness was bothering Jace a great deal, and occupied his mind for some time now. The illness seemed to be chronic, not something new. This means that Eris had been hiding it for a good deal of time, and he had been completely unaware. Though Jace didn't show it to the others, he was very much disturbed by these recent events. He shook off the thoughts though, as he entered the medical bay and saw Vreem.

"Vreem, how is she? and also I heard they have some sort of diagnosis?"

Vreem perched against the wall directly opposite to the room’s entrance, his eyes settled on her face. It seemed so serene. It was a pure and comfortable expression he couldn’t recall seeing before, even when she tried to appear calm and pleasant there was always that glimmer in her eyes, it showed how heavy everything weighed down upon her, tasked with overseeing the entire Order, no doubt that would cause terrible stress on one’s mind.

But perhaps this fate was better for her than any that would await her in the Council Chambers. With the rising tide approaching there was no doubt that a life exempt from the crucial everyday decisions would be one most people to choose. To avoid the coming war, this was one way, and it seemed to be a peaceful way to go about it, at least that’s what Vreem got from her comatose expression. He finished his drink and folded his arms, once again falling back into contemplation.

However, it was then that Jace returned to the Master’s resting chamber and for a moment there was only the sound of constantly running computers and monitors in the room before Master Beleran spoke. “The same” He replied dryly, the drink had done little to quench the bitterness in his throat and he no longer felt compelled to try and coat his words with sugar, spice or anything nice. He could barely find the strength to reply at first, but Jace had been with him through it all, he deserved to know.

“Yes, there’s a diagnosis, if it can really be called that.” He paused briefly before continuing, “The doctors say that they don’t know what’s doing or done this to her, they’ve identified an anomaly within her body but they can’t pinpoint where it originated, what it is exactly or why it’s made her like this. Not even the Jedi healers we let take a look at her know what’s wrong, thy can sense something is off but they don’t quite know what. The doctors say they want to do more tests but they don’t think that will help them discover what it is. All they know is that she’s alive with some brain activity. They don’t know how long she’ll be in this comatose state but they estimate it could be days, weeks or more likely, they speculated, years.”

He let the grim silence float through the air. His words had been sharp like the blade of a scythe as they cut into Jace’s ears, leaving the Master to take in what had been said as best he could. But in all their despair, his words were true, almost exactly along the same line as the Doctor’s had been.

For what it was worth, Vreem still tried to hold on to hope, hope that in a few moments the woman before them might awake, burst from her bed with the knowledge of what they would do, how they would go about stopping this war before it could start. He held onto that hope because right now, Vreem Took, Master of the Jedi Order and member of the High Council felt like little more than a lost child, overwhelmed by the events which plagued the galaxy, events the members of the Council were all expected to stop. But in truth he was as clueless as a brand new youngling, and it frightened him.

He looked towards her face, peaceful as it was, and somewhere deep down, beneath the layers of Jedi training, he wished he could be the one lying in that bed.

High Council Member Jace Beleren, once a Jedi Shadow, was at a loss for words. He had been trained for over 35 years of his life to deal with a plethora of situations, but that mattered little to him now. His fingers pressed against his forehead roughly massaging, for he knew not what else to do. The news couldn't have gotten much worse than this. He had dealt with death time and time again, so why was this different, she wasn't even dead. He held out his hands before him, and then looked at his lightsaber. These tools, not even they which had proved useful time and time again, could help him now.

He looked down at the face of the current Grandmaster of the Jedi Order, unsure of what to think. Her face, seemed so at peace in her comatose state. Her face seemed to be an outward extension of her ideals, and Jace's too. Chaos, that was what Jace saw for the future, but here he only saw serenity. Maybe this was for the best, the young should not be subject to war. Young, that is what he saw laying on the bed. Here was a woman, a decade younger than Jace, but with wisdom far beyond her years.

Jace tried to speak, but found his throat dry, and left it at that. He looked up at his fellow council member and friend, and was not surprised at what he saw. He was looking at a man, who was so much like himself. To any observer, they would look like the serious council members one would expect. Inside was a different story, he knew the same to be true of Vreem. Jace's ability to harden himself against anything, had taken him down a path, which only created a stronger barrier. Where was this barrier now?What happened to the Jace Beleren who was unflinching at death? He neither cared nor dwelt on that now.

Jace looked back down towards her, waiting for her to make a quirky remark. He clenched his fists, knowing that there would be none. There was no enemy that he could fight, even if he had wanted to. He reminded himself of this, and willed himself to calm down, as he unclenched his fists. He told himself that it was the will of the Force and there was a purpose, but he remained unconvinced. How long could he remain in such a state?There were many preparations to be made for the undoubted coming trials. He scratched his unshaven stubble absent mindedly, and finally looked up back at Vreem again.

Jace's look was as clear as day....what do we do?

After divulging the diagnosis and taking in what he had said himself, as it didn’t want to stick in his mind, Vreem looked to Jace. Both of them were calm, or so it would seem to an onlooker. But inside their thoughts were a raging torrent of confusion and uncertainty. The Jedi Master knew this to be true of his comrade; they were of such a similar mind that it was almost scary.

Nobody could have predicted that the two of them would become such close friends and comrades. They had walked paths entirely different from one another but in the end they had wound up at the same place, at the same time, was this the working of the Force? Darkness was not unknown to either of them, their lives had both been affected by it and it had made them both stronger. But the question now was were they strong enough to play the hand which had been dealt to them. The encroaching darkness, thicker and more malevolent than any in their past and now their leader, their rallying point of unity and counter to the Sith lay before them in a coma.

Were they weaker men who lacked determination and drive, they would have given up already, resigned themselves to what seemed to be the unavoidable return of a powerful force to the galaxy. But they remained exactly where they were even though their minds were racked with doubt and despair; they did not flee in the face of trouble.

But what was there to do without Eris? Truthfully, Vreem didn’t know, and neither did Jace. As their eyes met, Vreem could see the question in his thoughts. After a few moments he spoke, soft and sombrely, “we have to hope,” he turned to look at Eris, “there’s little else we can do…” His voice trailed off as the world outside darkened.



Another week. Another week had passed now and Vreem was still sat in that little room, looking over Grand Master Eris. He hadn’t returned to the Council yet, not since Eris’ collapse, not since his return from Korriban. He couldn’t face them in this state, he didn’t want to. Two weeks now and he still hadn’t gone before them to return to his duties. He’d seen a few as they’d come to see the Grand Master, but he’d avoided them as best he could, or had simply tried to avoid conversation. He’d only left her side to get something to eat or drink on the odd occasion he felt like it would actually go down, and stay down.

Jace was with him, whilst Council duties had called him away a few times, he’d been by Eris’ side whenever he was free. But it had been two weeks now since the incident and there was no change, not even a slight sign of change. Everyone predicted that she was in it for the long haul; Vreem had tried to heal her when nobody was around. He wasn’t skilled in that area, but after his trusted healer friend Niv-Taro hadn’t been able to do anything the Jedi Master just felt like he should try and do something. At one point he’d suggested they try telepathy, but the healers said that any attempt might cause serious brain damage if the disease within her was associated with the brain. It was infuriating to say the least.

But the last few days had changed Vreem’s train of thought somewhat, the more time they spent sat around this room, the more time and the greater the opportunity the Sith had to move around undetected and unchallenged. The Jedi needed to act and in order for that to happen they would need leadership. At first Vreem considered himself. When Grand Master Ashla Aneem’s body had been returned to them the choice of successor had been between Master Eris and himself, wouldn’t that mean that he was the prime candidate? He didn’t think so; Vreem didn’t think he was the right person for such a task, especially not considering his current condition and relationship with Veratos. That would affect his judgement in a way that would risk lives.

No, they needed someone who was clear headed, could move with precision and had the ability to lead. That’s when his mind wandered to Jace, the mission on Korriban had shown that he could lead; Vreem had been in a position to watch that quite clearly. He was a good teacher as well, whilst it was a relatively new path for Jace, Vreem had managed to catch a glimpse upon his return, the pupils liked him, thy learned quickly and he too was slipping into the role. Whilst under normal circumstances this would have no doubt led to his ascension in the future, they were no longer dealing with anything normal. It might be early, but that would simply mean more work on Jace’s part, work which Vreem had no doubt his friend would overcome. Yes, perhaps that was their solution.

He had thought it over for a few days now and as they sat in that room, Vreem made the decision that it was time to act. “Jace,” he started, tearing through the silence which had settled around them quite comfortably, “we can’t put things off any longer. Whilst I still hold hope for Master Eris, I don’t think we can afford to just wait. With the Sith moving around in the shadows, the Order needs direction. We need to elect a new Grand Master…” his voice quietened for a moment before he revealed his intentions, “and I think it should be you.” Vreem looked over to Jace, a fire in his eyes that hadn’t been there for a few weeks now, the fire of intent.