Win Some and Lose Some (Open)

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Well I do look at myself," Tashra said. "But what's there to look at? I've seen other girls. They're pretty and wear nice clothes, and I'm always covered in grease and dirt, and I look like a mess. I don't have good breasts, it's all flat."

Tashra stared at the tabletop as she debated continuing on to describe the flaws she'd noticed about herself. Round face, 'cute' nose, those dumb squiggles on her face... They were asymmetrical. She hated the idea that one side of her didn't match the other.

She looked silly.

But as she stared at the table she remembered the other half of what Vance had said.

His job meant he didn't have much experience with women. What exactly did that mean? Was he in a boy band? Male school? Was he in some crazy religious group that separated people by sex? There were too many ifs. Darn ifs, being all iffy.

"Wait," She said. "What do you mean your job? Do you, like, not work with any girls?"

The Togruta girl stared down at the chicken on her plate and reached out to grab one strip, carrying it to her mouth and biting off a piece, chewing it over as she waited for Vance to explain his enigmatic words.

[Fromikeable]

Vance physically bit his tongue as hard as he could as Tashra began knocking herself off as unattractive again. It was all he could do not to ask if she was being serious. He glanced at her physique again; sure, she was grime-coated and sure, she might have had a small chest. What did that matter? She was down-right cute, and whatever she said didn't end up changing the opinion of the less sophisticated portions of Vance's mind.

The sooner my teenage years are over, the better! Vance rubbed his temples with his hand, inadvertently smudging his own forehead with a bit of left-over grease. He didn't notice though, and exhaled deeply.

Then she asked about his job, and Vance understood why people didn't respond well to his curiosity sometimes.

"Not exactly," he responded, eyeing his own chicken. In truth, his appetite was still active, but he just didn't have the mindset to eat at the moment.

"I work with plenty of girls. In fact, my..." he paused, trying to think of a suitable substitute for the word "Master". Speaking of which, the thought of Tal made Vance check the time. He'd been gone for THAT long already? He gulped.

He was in for it as soon as he got back, by his prediction. And unfortunately, he thought he knew Tal well enough already to make a pretty accurate prediction.

Shaking off the poor image of the future he had, Vance continued, settling on a simple substitute. "... my teacher is a girl. It's not that I don't know or interact with women so much as it is that... I... don't usually think about them... you know... the way I suspect you're thinking about me." Or me about you. That last addition was conveniently omitted from the sentence.

He gulped again, seriously wishing they could change the subject or maybe head out to find those parts. Maybe he would be let off the hook a little if his gobs of time out and about amounted to him actually finding parts.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Oh," Tashra said with an understanding look. "You're gay. I get it."

In a way she didn't feel so bad now that she knew. If he wasn't even interested in girls then she couldn't feel bad about him not liking her. And it also explained why he had trouble saying she was pretty, he hadn't wanted to make it awkward.

Well, he was still a nice guy, and she told him.

"Don't feel bad, you're a really nice guy. I'm sure there's a nice boy out there waiting for you."

The Togruta girl kept her tone cautiously optimistic, though she was a little less than thrilled already at the idea of having to wait for the next likely suitor that might never come.

Maybe she should have started wearing nice clothes and washing her face. If she looked pretty, then maybe local boys would like her.

She felt bad for Vance though. If she had it hard, then he must have had it worse. It couldn't be easy to love someone of the same gender. There must have been a lot of heartbreak and longing, and she felt genuinely sorry for him.

Hopefully her words would cheer him up a little and make him feel better about it.

[Fromikeable]

Vance smacked his head into the table so hard the plates clattered. Thanks to the searing skin on his forehead and the absolute misunderstanding, he couldn't help but groan.

Good going Asano. Real smooth. He sighed before lifting his head up again, revealing that his entire face was flushed, save for the parts that had actually made contact with the table. Those portions were a shade or two redder.

He was about to correct her when he noticed that being gay (which he absolutely wasn't) actually did a good job of both ending the topic and communicating his inability to think about Tashra in any sort of romantic atmosphere. He didn't like lying though, so he instead sighed again and smiled weakly. "Close enough." He rubbed his cheek, noticing how much of sting was developing.

"Um, anyway... what do you say we head out and find those parts?" Vance's eyes, now back to their calm radiance, glanced over toward the food he'd ordered. In retrospect, he wished that he had eaten, but between this conversation and the fact that he was really beginning to stretch his time out pretty far, he didn't feel very compelled to stay in the restaurant.

Besides, he could really use some fresh air.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Vance slammed his head into the table and instantly Tashra reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder, patting him gently and speaking softly to him.

"Don't hurt yourself, it's okay to be gay. There's nothing wrong with being different."

That was something she'd always read. It was perfectly acceptable to be something other than normal. Her adoptive parents always told her that too, that it was okay to be a Togruta mechanic, that it was okay to read romance novels and talk with droids, and that it was okay that she hadn't gotten married and settled down early like so many people were wont to do.

If Tashra could pass along that acceptance and wisdom, maybe it would help him feel better about being the way he was. And if the Togruta girl could make him feel better, then she'd feel better. Naturally it was her new mission to make him feel fine and dandy.

He proposed leaving, and she nodded, quickly finishing her last chicken strip and draining her iced tea before tossing Hutt currency down onto the table and rising to leave.

The orange-skinned girl headed out the door into the heat and abruptly hugged Vance when they were clear of the doorway.

"Don't feel bad Vance, you were born this way. Don't let anyone ever make you feel bad for that."

The Togruta girl broke away from him again and smiled, her fangs peeking out with the gesture. Then she got down to business and enquired about where he wanted to go for parts, or if she should just lead on to likely scrapyards.

[Fromikeable]

Vance managed to relax a little as Tashra and he stood up, preparing to go. In retrospect, it was a stupid lie, but it was better than scaring her or disgusting her or even disturbing her with the news that he was actually a Jedi instead.

What was more, maybe it'd let them bury the whole romance thing.

Tashra was luckily quiet as she threw a few bits of Hutt currency down to pay. Vance did likewise, not wishing to place the entire burden of paying on her (especially since he was pretty sure by this point that there was an unspoken Jedi tax on the planet). He kept dead silent, hoping to avoid any more elaboration on the subject.

And to his credit he succeeded... riiiiiiiiiiiiight up until they were headed out of the restaurant doorway into the sandy, arid Tatooine air.

Eeeyup. Then he was being hugged, and hoping beyond all hope that those things he could feel pressed up against his chest were incredibly soft, round hands.

As the hug broke, Vance pulled at his collar, noticing just how hot it was. Was it always like this on Tatooine? He seemed to remember that it had been cooler before he'd had lunch. Must have been something he ate.

Then again, that cute fanged smile Tashra gave him didn't help much. He felt like he should be more honest. She was being nice and trying to help him (despite the fact that it was completely irrelevant to him), and it made him feel like a jerk once more...

No! Not again! Keep the jaw shut or I swear by the Force I'll-

"Um, Tashra? I'm not gay..." For a moment, Vance simply felt the sweltering heat, trying to think of a delicate way to put this. As with most impacting news, however, he decided the simple approach would probably be best.

"... I'm a Jedi, that's all." As if to accent his point, Vance allowed his cloak to shift to the side a bit, flashing his saber. He hoped she wouldn't get mad, or worse find fault with his occupation. Force knew that everyone else seemed to.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"You're... Not gay?" Tashra repeated uncertainly, a wave of confusion washing over her features. "I don't get it..."

If he wasn't gay, why had he said he was? Or did he literally say it? Maybe he was being confusing or something. Well, it was safe to say he was definitely being confusing, as the Togruta mechanic was now confused. What had he meant then? Why couldn't he just tell her she was pretty, or say he liked her if he did?

Or, was it that he didn't really like her? Maybe Vance actually had no interest in her and was only being polite, or maybe he didn't even like her at all. She deflated a little at that thought, her shoulders slumping as she frowned.

And then he said he was a Jedi, which didn't help with the confusion. Thanks to that chat with Anahid, Tashra had learned that the Jedi didn't like relationships, but she didn't understand why that somehow meant she couldn't be liked by him.

Besides, surely that was more of a guideline than a rule. Everyone needed relationships, even Jedi. In fact, she'd two books where Jedi fell in love and became star-crossed lovers, and those all had happy endings. So Tashra genuinely didn't understand his apprehension.

"Everyone needs love," She said confidently. "Doesn't matter who you are or what you do. Somebody out there is waiting for you."