Don't Bat an Eyelash (Tal)

[Fromikeable]

Tal reclined onto her back, staring up at the sky. She began to explain her beliefs; that no one person was right, but that maybe everyone had a small part of it down well. Vance watched her intently, continuing to soak up her words like a sponge to water.

It seemed likely to him as well that no one person could say they had seen the Force in its pure form. If anyone could, how could they ever share it? Vance was no linguist, nor was he an artist nor an expressionist of any kind, but he was confident that nothing, and he meant NOTHING could perfectly display the Force in its complete essence.

Still... could everyone comprehend just a part of it? Was it possible to take a great truth and just divide it into smaller, more sizable truths that individuals could grasp? You could then piece them together, like a sort of galactic puzzle?

"So it's one of those sorts of questions," Vance comprehended, scratching his chin with the hand he was observing. "No one knows, but everyone strives to find out."

Vance thought about it a little more as Tal entertained, somewhat mystically, that the world could simply be a giant illusion. Vance smiled. "What makes you say that?" Vance wasn’t shocked by her views, but rather the way she said them. She was free to think whatever she wanted; to be honest, Vance rather liked her way of thinking. But the way she starred off and almost giggled, saying describing such a large concept so nonchalantly…

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

“So it’s one of those sorts of questions…no one knows, but everyone strives to find out.”

She shrugged slightly at that statement. ”It depends on what you mean by ‘one of those sorts of questions’ I suppose….and no, I wouldn’t say that everyone strives to find out. Some people never even consider it.” For a flicker of a moment, Talau glanced over at him before looking back up at the ‘sky’ above. ”I’m actually rather impressed that you thought enough to ask such a question,” she replied honestly.

For a long moment the woman was quiet as she thought over her answer to his newest question. It was another one that needed quite a bit of explanation, though perhaps not quite so much depth of thought. Really, the answer all came down to her and her views.

”As for what makes me say that…well…I think a lot about these sorts of things because of the hand life has dealt me. There are a lot of puzzles in life in general, and I have a lot of questions of my own that I would like answers to…so I search for them. Sometimes I find them and sometimes I don’t, but I always seem to find something interesting along the way. That idea just happened to be one of those interesting thoughts.”

It was the simplest explanation she could give him, anyway, without going into details that he would likely be better off not knowing. After all, she was a staunch believer in the fact that no one should know the future unless they had enough responsibility to accept it and not attempt to change it. It was one reason why so few who knew her actually knew she was a seer even after several years of knowing her…or if they did know, they also knew that she wouldn’t likely ever tell them whatever it was she saw unless absolutely necessary (or at least not all of the details about how things played out).

Sitting up once more, she smiled a bit and nodded to him. ”Now, if you’re ready, we should continue. I brought you here for more reasons than to just show you the differences in how the force might feel between here and the heart of the temple. Are you ready?”

[Fromikeable]

Tal commented that many people didn't take the time or status to try and ask such large questions. Then she stated that she was impressed Vance would. The padawan blushed slightly; he hadn't been expecting compliments today. Was it so strange to try and comprehend the universe?

That's when Tal really became interesting. She answered Vance's question with a metaphor; life was a set of puzzles, and all the truths and ideas Tal had she had obtained from solving them. Vance blinked, intrigued by the interpretation; it sounded well thought out, time-tested, and above all, experienced.

Vance considered what this Rilan said. He had always considered the world to be a sort of puzzle to be figured out, but again, it had never occurred to him that the riches it bore were given out along the way, as opposed to getting everything at the end. In retrospect, that was foolish; what good were the gifts of life if you received them when your time was up?

Before Vance could press further upon the subject, Tal suggested that they move the lesson along. In all reality, Vance was left with more questions than answers: she had spiked more points of interest than she had extinguished, and in his typical mind set, Vance wanted them all to be covered by a nice, full, and perfect explanation.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen. Not soon anyway.

Vance adopted a cheery tone, trying to mask and subdue his inherent curiosity. "Alright then, I'm ready. What's next then?"

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

Nodding to him, Talau ignored the feeling of curiosity radiating (and slowly diminishing) from Vance and settled herself into a position she could sit in comfortably for a long period of time. ”Good. Now, I want you to sit in a position that you will be comfortable in for a while. I’m going to have you do some exercises to help your awareness and thus, also, your sense.” She would wait patiently while he settled himself, continuing once he was done.

”As I’ve already told you, Force sense can also be an extension of your own, physical, senses…your awareness of the world around you. For these exercises you won’t need to focus on your force sense, but your physical senses so that you begin to become more aware of what’s going on around you even without the use of the force.” Looking at him, she’d bite back a sigh at her own thoughts and memories. ”There may be times when you are unable to rely on the force for being aware of what’s going on around you, just as there may be times when you should rely mainly on the force rather than your own physical senses. So, you must be prepared for both.”

Resting her hands in her lap, she’d give him a moment to process the information, a bit of a smile on her face as she remembered going through these same exercises with Shoal. The Shistav guardian had been extremely good in helping her develop and hone her natural physical abilities and then enhance them with the force. It had been one reason why he’d been so very good at his duties for so very long.

”Good…now relax and close your eyes. I want you, first, to focus on your hearing. Don’t try to enhance it, and don’t strain to hear things….just listen quietly to the area around you.” Her own eyes slid closed, her voice gentle as she relaxed into the exercise herself. ”Listen and allow the area, and your body, do the work for you. Remain aware, but do not strain…that is the key.” With that she would fall silent.

[Fromikeable]

Vance lifted himself up with his arms and adjusted his robes before falling back to the soft ground with a thud, as per instructed. The padawan stretched out his legs, straightening them before allowing one to slightly cover the other, resting on top. Vance then leaned back, bending his arms behind his head and forming them into a nice bend in which to rest his head. Finally, he laid out completely, allowing his hands to separate his head from the earth below.

Comfortable, Tal began to instruct Vance that he would come to find that his physical senses would be as important as his Force sense. Vance pursed his lips to one side, mulling over his next lesson. It made sense to him that it would be foolish to rely on only one set of senses. Honing both would surely help him out practically in the future.

But what could deter Force sense? Vance had never heard of a Jedi or other Force-wielder ever being unable to use their Force sense. Perhaps it was because it was a rare occurrence. Perhaps it was because he had never bothered to ask.

Perhaps it's because they never made it back. Vance shuddered at the thought before silencing his thought process and listening to Tal.

"Good... now relax and close your eyes." The padawan did as he was instructed, dropping his eyelids and allowing the world to slip into total darkness. Part of him was tempted to end his other feeds of the world and focus on his Force sense again, but he resisted the urge and continued listening to his instructions.

Vance raised his eyebrows at the request that he focus only on his hearing. He had expected one of his other senses to be tested; perhaps one that wasn't so commonly used, such as taste. Although I'd rather not start licking the Temple...

Slowly, Vance began shutting out his senses, much like before. This time, however, he saved hearing for last, and once sight was black, and taste was void, and feeling was empty and smell of pure, Vance simply heard.

...

"There's... a pair of Jedi walking the halls... to our front. And... a few birds in the tree above..." The world came to the padawan slowly. He had listened for things before, of course. Everyone had. But he had never tried to do it without straining himself and expecting results superior to those of what he would get normally. What am I to do to hear better?

"This is... different. The physical world is not so forthcoming. How am I supposed to allow it to come to me?"

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

Quietly she listened to the world, letting thoughts pass through unheeded as she simply allowed the sounds to reach her and be processed. As he spoke again, then asked his question, she answered calmly. Perhaps she had been too vague. ”The physical world is just as forthcoming as the force, you just don’t perceive it as such because you are accustomed to it. Do not limit yourself to thinking there is more that you must hear, because there are, obviously, limitations to all of our senses….this exercise is not to get you to hear more so much as it is to be more aware of what you’re already hearing.

Allow yourself to be natural, only devoid of sight…do not try to focus on your hearing so much as to be unaware of your other senses, but just be aware of what it is you hear more so than you are aware of taste or smell or touch. As you practice, you will start to notice that you can gauge distance more easily, or hear smaller or more quiet sounds, or notice more sounds at once and be able to distinguish between them…but for now, just be aware of what you hear and allow yourself to be quiet. Think of it almost like meditation, except instead of focusing inward, you are focusing on the world.”

[Fromikeable]

"So... I'm not necessarily trying to hear more so much as I am trying to truly be aware of what I'm hearing... right?"

Vance still kept his eyes closed and his body straight, tempted to forget his focus and feel the calm breeze that swept through the Fountains. Listen to it instead. The padawan went about closing his other senses again, until once more the world was nothing.

Nothing but sound.

The breeze could be heard sweeping through the Fountains, whistling ever so slightly as it licked the stones and made the water drip, drip, drip. The Jedi in the halls could still be heard as their feet fell in a steady pair of clip-clops, each being independent of the other. Beyond that, the world sounded as usual.

No! Forget "usual"! Be aware! If the dripping is over there... and the footsteps moved from there to there, and the chirping is from over there... Vance moved his hands slowly in the air, eyes closed, and pointed at things as he heard them. From the dark, intangible world of sound, Vance's arms felt as though they pointed in no real direction, with the only guides of correction orientation being the direction of the sounds.

Vance knit his eyebrows, thinking. The world felt as if it was merely a shell of its former self. Vance likened it to breaking it all down to layers; he had stripped away the layers of his other senses, leaving only the layer of sound.

Even still, the padawan's surroundings became seemed to emit more noise than before. Vance knew it wasn't from anything special he had done to his ears. This must be the noise I've grown so accustomed to. Everywhere, the sound of speeders zipping about was faint, the light hum of the Temple's doings was afoot, and Vance even detected a particularly loud bird chirping from the Gardens.

"I think I understand... the point is simply not take any noise for granted and ignore it, correct? To hear everything you can hear?"

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

”Yes, that’s correct. To be aware of what your senses…in this case hearing…are bringing you.”

As the two of them fell into silence once more, the woman listened quietly to the area around. She could hear her own breath, the twitter of small birds and the fluttering of their wings. Occasionally she could hear the buzzing of insects as they moved between plants and flowers. The hum of speeders off in the distance was a constant reminder of the city planet that lay beyond this calm retreat. The gentle crunch of footsteps over the gravel paths around them, and the soft sounds of voices or movement of material allowed her to follow the jedi around them in her mind’s eye…tracking them with little more than a mild curiosity as to where they might be headed in the large room. Snippets of conversation caught her ears every now and again bringing to light some puzzle piece of information that often held no meaning for her at this point in her life. Perhaps later on…she mused silently before returning her thoughts to the sounds around.

The play of water was always audible, splashing soothingly into pools of water or bubbling and gurgling along the stones of man-made stream beds. A light breeze from the climate controls filtered through the plants, rustling the leaves of the trees and plants around and stirring her heart. It brought with it an almost painful yearning for a place she had never been except in her visions and her dreams. It was almost as if it had ignited a fire in her heart, her very blood, and an inaudible voice was calling softly to her. There was an almost imperceptible ripple in the calm waters of the force, creating a silver light to begin forming in her mind’s eye.

The image was a familiar one to her, if only barely…but there was a presence with it…a troubled one…

I hear you…I am here…

Mentally she reached out a hand for the light, prepared to answer its call and the call of whoever it was on the other side, when Vance spoke again, startling her…her mind losing touch with that troubled presence and the soothing core of her people. She gasped a moment as her eyes flew open, filled with a startled pale-orange and etched through with vivid gold and violet.

For a moment she couldn’t think to answer the boy’s question, her mind still reeling from the experience. It had been…new…for her, despite having practiced going to it before, and despite having spoken to her brother there previously. Never before, however, had she entered Silmorne by being drawn in such a way, much less by an unknown. Then, to be jolted away from it so suddenly? It left the woman out of sorts for several long moments as she settled herself again, troubled by the experience. Finally, however, Vance’s question(s) registered in her mind and she attempted to formulate a suitable reply for him.

”Ah, yes…yes, that is indeed part of the lesson. It is the point of this particular exercise, to be sure, but beyond that it is to help hone your ability to acknowledge and get as much information from your normal senses as possible, that way, when you begin to intermingle your force sense with them, you will be even more aware of your surroundings…a skill that will undoubtedly save your life at some point or another.”

[Fromikeable]

Vance reemerged from his dark, feeling-less world of sound only to find Tal in a state of shock. Her skin was pale, her breathing heightened, and by the look of her eyes, Vance would almost have guessed that she had seen a ghost.

This was the umpteenth time today Tal had acted strangely. Her presence in the lift, then in the halls, and now here in the Gardens. Something was definitely afoot; of that, Vance held no doubt. The padawan was no psychologist, but so far as he could tell, she was severely troubled.

Is it my place to ask? The logical part of Vance's mind answered no, as he knew this Jedi Knight rather poorly. This problem of hers could have very well been a serious and personal matter; one he was not entitled to as a newcomer. On the other hand, the emotional part of Vance's mind answered yes. She was very clearly disturbed by something, and both experience and empathy dictated that the giant padawan inquire as to what it was in hopes of helping her.

Unfortunately, Vance's mind was all-parts debate, and the padawan was again set into silent arguments as to if he should ask about Tal's trouble. The silence continued for a moment as Tal answered Vance's former question and Vance thought about Tal's problem.

Finally, after a good many moments had passed, Vance's emotional side won over.

"Are you alright, Talau? Throughout the day you've seemed... conflicted at times." Vance noted the possible irony being developed; Tal had been teaching him to be more perceptive only for him to test his new abilities on her. Depending on how she responded, she would either find her teachings to be a curse coming back to haunt her, or an investment paying out earlier than expected.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

“Are you alright, Talau? Throughout the day you’ve seemed…conflicted at times.”

The question was not entirely unexpected at this juncture…after all, she held no delusions of having been particularly subtle with her surprise just now…but she’d hoped to avoid it. Unfortunately it looked as if she wouldn’t be able to. Though, she wasn’t entirely certain what other times besides this one he had noticed. Still, she nodded slightly to his question and offered him a slight smile.

”Yes, I’m alright. I was just startled by your voice. My mind wandered to a place I wasn’t expecting it to and when you spoke up I was jolted back to this reality.”

She shrugged a bit and smiled as if what she’d said was perfectly natural and understandable. Of course he couldn’t know about Silmorne or that she had nearly been pulled into that place unexpectedly…after all, no one really knew much about the Rilan, and while there were some (very old) recordings of them in the Archives not many knew there even was such a species as ‘Rilan’ and so they did not often go digging for what information there was.

”As for other times today…I’m not entirely sure which times you mean. My mind wanders a lot when I don’t have to worry about danger, and so maybe that is what you noticed?”

[Fromikeable]

Vance's courage was quickly sucked from his being as Tal inquired as to why he thought she was in distress. Vance may have been willing to ask, but he was still fuzzy on the evidence; he had improved a lot, but he was still a long shot from reading people like holopads. As a result, the padawan blushed and looked off to the side, hoping his supposition hadn't caused any offense.

"That's probably it. I'm still not great at this quite yet." The words came out a little faster than Vance intended, but nevertheless they were the quickest way out of his mistake. He still believed that there was something... off about Talau. He hadn't a doubt. But at the moment, it was more of a gut feeling than anything else. He had seen little signs, but...

Vance dismissed his line of thinking and tried to steer the conversation back at the lesson. The worst thing he could do was say he thought this Jedi had some problems because he had a "gut feeling". Even if he did have some key points to make, he didn't want to spoil his day with his new mentor. Beyond that, he was actually hoping to continue the lesson. So far he had learned a lot.

"So one of the major parts of Force Sense is simply being aware of things you aren't regularly?"

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

She bit back a sigh at his rush of words and the conflicting emotions she could sense from him. While she didn’t want to answer his questions directly, she couldn’t leave him worrying either. What was she supposed to do now? A bit troubled by the turn of events, she nodded slightly to his question.

”Yes…that is one part of force sense. It helps you to heighten your natural senses so that you are more aware. Further, it allows you to do what you have begun to do already…sense things in others. I have been troubled today a few times, but this is natural for me. I have heard news about what is going on in the galaxy, thought about my brother, felt ripples in the force that sometimes wish to draw my mind away from the current reality and towards another…these are, perhaps, the things you have sensed.

Because you are learning to hone you senses, and understand more about them, and have been forced to focus on me to help guide you when you were not using your eyes, you have begun to notice other details that the force is allowing your mind to feel and interpret.”

She paused a moment, thinking quietly as she sat there, eyes fixed on some point in the distance as she searched the force, and her own mind and heart, for answers to her current questions. Finally she would smile a little at him and sigh. ”Let’s take a break from the lesson for now. It won’t be going anywhere and I have the day free. In the mean time, maybe we should get to know each other a little better, hmm? I think you may have questions you would like answers to and I will answer them as best I can if you like.”

[Fromikeable]

She must be joking. It was the only explanation Vance could conceive. He had just pryed into her emotions without her consent, and now she was ready spill the beans, just like that?

"I... Alright." They were the only words he could manage in his shock. Again, he would never say he knew Tal well (although in light of very recent events, he might get to later). Even still, throughout his lessons, Vance had painted this picture of her being... mysterious, maybe even a little mystical. That just made her frank openness on the matter of her inner-most thoughts all the more unexpected.

What first then? Vance's mind raced, and he leaned up on his arms, adopting a look of deep consideration. The debates he withheld finally abated, and in their stead came a tidal wave of inquiries. Where was she from? What species was she? Who was Kir'va? Who was he-

That was it. That was definitely it. Kir'va had mentioned it, and she had mentioned it just now. Jedi normally didn't keep track of their family; why was she? Was she attached? Was she angered? Did she even hold any emotion toward him? Was she supposed to know about him?

Vance's voice started out controlled, but accelerated at the idea of some answers. His curiosity was killing him. "So if you don't mind my asking so, who is this brother you and Kir'va mentioned?" He had never before heard of Jedi keeping tabs on their siblings.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

She sat, quietly amused by the confounded expression he adopted at her suggestion, and waited for his first question. Through the force she could feel the bubbling curiosity and whirlwind of thoughts and confusion that her words had brought about, and (honestly) it was rather amusing. Was it really so strange that she suggest such a thing? Finally, after a span of several long moments, Vance seemed to settle on a question.

“So if you don’t mind my asking, who is this brother you and Kir’va mentioned?”

That brought out a little sigh, threads of grey working their way through her eyes.

”His name is Latus…he’s a Shadow, like myself. The last time I saw him he was…” she frowned a bit, remembering just how Latus had been acting, ”He was bordering on what seemed like insanity and desperate to find this dark jedi he’d been hunting for a very long time.”

Shaking her head a bit, the small metal beads dotting her hair here and there tinkled softly. ”I was sent to retrieve his Lightsaber, but things didn’t work out that way. He’s the only other one left of my entire family line, so I worry about him.”

[Fromikeable]

That explains a lot. Vance could easily understand why that background might cause Tal and Kir'va to worry about her brother. It wasn't everyday you heard about a Jedi edging insanity just to find a Dark Jedi. Vance could grasp that Shadows could be feverish in their fight against the Dark side, but never before had he ever thought one could become obsessed about it. Obsession in and of itself sounded rather of the Dark side.

"Why, what happened?" Vance's inquisition took hold of his voice, and the question became more instinctive than planned. He sat up further, straining his neck to make sure his hearing would be crystal clear. The story, though sad and by the sound of it thus far slightly disturbing, was immensely interesting. The padawan would refrain from asking about Tal's worry. After all, Jedi or not, she was a sister, and there were far worse feelings to feel for a family member than simple love-based concern.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

The replay of events in her mind was stubbornly halted as she shrugged at his question.

”I found him in the town where we were born, on Cerea. We managed to unearth what, exactly, happened to our parents before we were separated and then brought to the temple. From there, I think his quest became a bit more…personal.”

Shaking her head, Talau sighed out her emotions and let them go. Thinking about it wouldn’t change the past, or the future…it wouldn’t change anything. All she could do was keep an ear out for her brother and hope for the best.

”He’s slippery, Latus…a good Shadow that way…and before I could stop him, he was gone. I haven’t heard from him since, though I keep trying to reach him. He’ll come back eventually, though…he has other things to do further down the road, so I’m not going to fear too much if I can help it. I just…miss him…”

Yes, she missed him like she missed Ryn, and Remiel, and Shoal…

…Sometimes the life of a jedi wasn’t easy to live with, considering the people you lost along the way. The sad part was, she knew she’d lose many, many, more before her time was up.

[Fromikeable]

Vance was genuinely sad about the answer he received. He hadn't fully expected the story to be so bad, but it turned out his expectation was merely wishful thinking.

"That's..." Vance was at a loss for words. What did you say about something like that? A crazed brother on a personal quest involving a set of late parents he'd never met would be hard enough on the average person; Vance had no idea how Tal had handled it. When he had lost Shon-tul, it had been sudden, and very matter-of-fact. Tal's situation was by far worse though. Her brother was still out there, still crazed and unresponsive. Vance could imagine it like a horrible, never-ending nightmare.

"That's awful, to put it simply."

The padawan sat in silence, considering the very important occurrence that had been shared with him. As he thought though, the fact that Tal was from Cerea nagged him. Cerea was also his home, but he had never once seen a... a...

"On another note, and I hate that this sounds so rude, but what species are you exactly? I was born on Cerea as well, and I have to admit I never saw anyone with such vibrant features there."

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

Despite the worry and pain she felt, Tal smiled quietly at Vance, even managing a soft chuckle. He didn’t know the half of it…but it was better that way. After all, a Jedi who had fallen in love and planned to leave the Order because of it…just to be stopped because she nearly died in a crash, only returning to find her lover vanished and her brother vanished and one of her best friends vanished as well? Not to mention…anything else….no, it was better if she just kept things simple and as bland as possible for the padawan.

”Maybe, but there are much worse things that could happen,” she replied with a mild shrug. As the tall young man asked his next question, she smiled a bit more. Honestly, Talau was rather surprised it hadn’t come up first…

”I am a Rilan. We’re considered near-human since the majority of our physiology is the same, but there are….quirks.” She pointed to her eyes and the subtle layering of color that had painted its way through them since she was startled out of Silmorne. ”Our eyes, for example, change color with our emotions. We are also heavier than most humans our same height because our bones are more dense than a human’s bones. Those, of course, are just the more noticeable quirks of our species, however.”

[Fromikeable]

Rilan, Rilan... Vance ran the name through his memories. He couldn't place his finger on it, but it sounded familiar, like he had seen it once in an extremely old volume from the Archives. Maybe he had, maybe he hadn't, but irregardless here one sat before him. Vance noted Tal's eyes; he had been wondering why their color seemed to shift every so often.

Tal's explanation begged another question, however. "Is that to say the Rilan have some less-than-noticeable quirks about them?" Vance smiled at the question, saying it almost playfully. He couldn't help himself; this was going far better than he had expected, especially considering that a few moments ago he had expected a far more reserved response for his curiosity. He only wished he had an equally interesting background to share with Tal, but such was life.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

A soft chuckle bubbled up at his question. Were there ‘less-than-noticeable’ quirks about the Rilan? That question amused her…mainly because there were more of those than the noticeable ones. Or, perhaps, they were simply larger quirks? She was so used to them that she didn’t even consider it any longer, but (in the long run) Talau figured that the quirks people couldn’t see or measure on a Rilan were, most likely, far more interesting than those one could. So, she nodded to his question.

”Of course...there are a few,” the young woman replied simply, almost shrugging her shoulders. ”I’ve already mentioned the fact that we see the auras of living things naturally, even if one is not considered ‘force sensitive.’ That, however, is just one of the quirks.”

For a moment Talau wondered just how long she could drag this out in order to tease the padawan with the information. A little, almost mischievous, smirk formed on her face at the thought…though she decided that, perhaps, that would not be the best idea right now. Still, the thought had amused her, and no doubt it would have had poor Vance on pins and needles trying to get the answers he wanted. Fortunately, she was a bit nicer than that…at the moment.

”One other has to do with our physiology, and one has to do with our…ah….hmm…” She was forced to pause, trying to decide just how to classify Silmorne. It certainly wasn’t an easy thing to do. ”Well, I suppose you could tie the last to us in both a spiritual and mental way….though that doesn’t do it justice. I’ll start with the physical first, shall I? It would be considerably easier to explain…”