Of Foxes and Toilets

[Rugs]

{You thought I forgot, didn't you? Well, I'm gonna BLOW. YOUR. MIND.}

Locke's face distorted into a cruel mockery of glee when the Force-forsaken fox-thing was felled by the righteous might of his fist slamming into the side of its head. Again, that image arose of his statue, rising tall and triumphant, to join the other structures of Coruscant's magnificent skyline. Oh, how the people would marvel at the sight of it! And the children! Yes, schools would plan trips for their students to go see the marvel that had been dedicated to his selfless work, and there would be Stennes pie for all! And oh! From this day forward, he would wear a cloak draped around his shoulders, crafted from none other than the fur of this foul demon that was on the ground before him.

He crouched down next to the demon, his breaths growing heavy and almost reverential as he marveled at its weak, broken form. Slowly, he leaned down until his mouth was but a hair's width away from the fox-thing's ear and spoke. "How does it feel, beast? How does it feel to know despair? To know that your evil has been stopped by a true servant of the light?" His head came up for a moment, and a laugh that could be called nothing else but twisted came from his lips before he bent down to speak once more. "How does it feel to know that in a few minutes, I'm going to put my hand down that throat of yours and rip out every last crumb of that pie that was mine by right? You know what I'll do then? I'm going to put your head so far into a toilet you'll be able to see the old homeless man that lives in the sewers. And then," he barked a short, loud laugh into the fox-thing's ear, "then, I will skin you, and make a cloak out of you."

The Knight's hand went to rub Ekerin's fur, and his voice went eyes and voice went distant. "Such nice, soft fur. So... warm and fuzzy. So... so..." He gigled madly to himself and looked at Ekerin. "Precious..."

"You there," he called out to the protocal droid, suddenly rising to his feet "Yes! You! Go find me the biggest knife you can get your metal hands on, and do it now!!" The droid stood there for a moment, as if confused, before Locke screamed at it and sent it on its way.

"It's almost time, fox," he tittered. "Almost time to end your foul life once and for all."

[Twysper]

Having to listen to a madman outline his plans for him, while lying helpless on the ground was both infuriating and disturbing to Ekerin. Slowly, he flexed his clawed digits to check their responsiveness, and the concentration required increased the intensity of his throbbing headache. The hard floor offered no comfort to his bruised, lithe body, and sleeping with the loony around brought no guarantee of waking back up.

Ekerin made an attempt to crawl away from the deranged Knight while the same babbled more nonsense, but the Amaran froze when he felt a rough stroke along his russet fur.

"Such nice, soft fur. So... warm and fuzzy. So... so..." Locke giggled like a demonic little girl at that point, and some defiant spark in Ekerin dictated that he roll his eyes. "Precious..."

The dotty Knight’s next barked words chilled the youngling’s blood, and he mentally repressed the urge to flail at Locke again. Ecky bided his time until the older Jedi was closer to him again, before rolling over and snapping a clawed foot out at the back of Locke’s legs.

The Amaran stumbled as he used the swinging momentum to immediately force himself to stand again, and his headache roared in protest, hindering him from easy access to the Force, as he began to flee strategically retreat again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The silver protocol droid hurried into a Jedi training room, and its photo-receptors scanned quickly for what it was tasked to bring back to the Jedi Knight. They set on an overly large, seven foot long, Jedi Katana resting regally in a weapon rack, tucked into its very own corner of the room. Clumsy metallic hands pulled it out of the stand, and the point of the weapon clanged on the floor loudly before being dragged along the floor with a nails-on-chalkboard sound.

V-D4 walked back towards Locke slowly, struggling with the burden of carrying the blade, the awful cacophony drawing the attention of more than one Jedi walking in the hallways…

[Rugs]

{Alright, the required ridiculous amount of time has passed. Here's post}

Again, the little demon managed to slip away from him. "Tricky little bastard!" Locke yelled after him, spittle flying from his lips as if he were a man crazed.

Except he wasn't crazed. He knew that.

That fox-thing, though. Oh, it was deranged; a threat to the entire Temple--nay! to all of the Galaxy!

And that was why he'd get a statue once he made a fur suit out of him. Perhaps, instead of the great statue having a coat of fur draped over its regal shoulders, it could have a massive ushanka, made from the finest fox furs in the Galaxy. Of course, they'd have to be cleaned and replaced every so often, but that would be a price worth paying to commemorate the slaying of one of the greatest threats the Galaxy had ever known.

And he thought he could get away from me... Locke giggled madly. But he showed his hand when he took that pie. My pie.

Maybe the statue could have a coat and an ushanka. Both might not come as tribute, though. No, one of them might require a fundraiser...

"You there!" cried he, turning to point with a righteous finger at the protocol droid that was so loudly dragging the over-large sword through the hallway. "I am Knight Locke Nemsee, and you shall be my squire!"

The protocol droid looked this way and that. Surely the Jedi couldn't be talking to him. That was about the time that Locke, carried by a Force-fueled leap, landed on the droids shoulders.

Yeah, the Jedi was talking to him.

"Master Jedi, I do no-"

"Silence! Now's not the time to lose faith!" He leaned down to whisper, as if the droid had ears."You see the foul fox-thing that the gates of hell have unleashed into our fair Temple?" A finger would be extend forward toward the quickly-retreating demon in case the droid happened to be too stupid to catch on. "You must give chas! The fate of the lives of dozens of people rests with us now"

"Please Master Jedi, I don't think thi-"

"After him!" Locke yelled.

The droid made a noise that sounded very much like a sigh and set off, still dragging the sword, and now struggling to carry the weight of the Jedi that decided to ride him, of all things.

They moved at a might mile per hour.

"You have to go faster! He's getting away!"
"Master Jedi, I can-"

Locke was suddenly of the droids shoulders, and he felt something push him. He took to the air, flying down the hall, clinging to that sword for dear life.

"Fly!" Locke called, setting off into a run. "And fear not! I'm right behind you!"

[Twysper]

{Give or take six months...}

Ekerin booked it away from Locke as fast as his twelve-year old legs would carry him, huffing with the exhaustion of dealing with the deranged knight.

"Tricky little bastard!" echoed down the halls from behind him, over an odd scraping sound; the Amaran didn't dare turn around. The end of the hallway was in sight. Fear powered his flight.

"YOU'RE NUTS!" He screamed in frustration before skidding around a T-shaped intersection. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he caught a glimpse of a large metallic mass flying towards him. Half a second later, there was a jarring crash.

Ekerin stumbled over himself in the attempt to muster more speed, away from this nightmare.

Where was everyone?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dented face of V-D4 turned slowly, clicking as the damaged gears struggled. It's photo-receptors examined the giant blade that had been driven through its metallic midsection carefully. Tentatively, it grasped the katana's handle and started to pull the large blade free. It rasped menacingly before falling free on the floor, next to the wall with the brand new droid-shaped indentation in it. Circuits fired.

<Assessing damage>
<Behavior chip damaged, damage not critical>
<Assessing cause of damage>
<Knight Locke Nemsee>
<Options>
<Shut down?>
<Terminate cause of damage?>
<Find repair bay?>

Slowly, it bent over and reclaimed the heavy weapon in its clumsy hands. Locke Nemsee was still moving closer. With a great surge of hydraulics, it raised the sword above its head.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." yelled the monotone voice, before taking a few wobbling steps towards Locke.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ekerin turned down another short corridor, and upon finding the turbolift to the council chambers, started frantically mashing the call button.

After what seemed an eternity, his keen, triangular ears heard a telltale whooshing noise.

[Rugs]

{So the ritual was off a few days >_> Still complete}

"Fly!" yelled Locke as he dashed down the hall after his uncanny metal squire. "Fly! Fly! FLY!

The droid flew. Quite beautifully, in fact. Locke nearly paused halfway down the hall to watch and admire his work. To take in the beauty of the light falling on the polished silver metal as the droid arched through the air...

The look of terror on the demon fox-thing's face. Yes. that was the true art of the moment.

That's right, foul beast, he silently taunted as a wicked, lopsided grin began to stretch across his face. Know that your end is at ha-

CRASH!

His squire slammed into the wall. The flight had been successful.

No, the fox was scampering away around a corner. Not successful.

"You idiot!" Locke roared at the machine. "What use is beauty when you don't kill the beast?! It took my PIE[/b]!"

The droid didn't answer. It was too busy trying to pick itself up.

"Can't find good help these days," Locke muttered irately as he stalked down the hall toward the confounded droid."Have to do everything by my own damn self."

He picked up the pace as he neared the intersection at the end of the hall; it would be stupid to let the fox get away just because of his newfound ire for the worthless droid. By the time he got to the end of the hall, the droid was on its feet, and was.... charging at him.

Sort of.

He thought it was.

It's not even going the right way! Damn droid!

Locke snarled. He didn't slow a beat--justice could not wait on the slow and the stupid, nor would it be delayed for the good of the worthless.

"If you're not gonna be worth anything, then get outta the way!" he yelled. His hand went out, the Force roared, and the droid went right back into the wall again.

"Some squire you are," he yelled as he ran by again.

As he rounded the corner, he saw the foul beast, near the lifts at the end of the hall. There were two. If he hurried, he might be able to catch the fox before one arrived.

"YOU!" Locke bellowed, going into a full on sprint, "you won't get away, pie fiend!"