The Voyager(Dead, see The Telos IV)

[sparrow]

So it's a 400 year old design that carries over four times the weaponry as the original model, three times the fighters, is as fast as a starfighter, has a hyperdriver as fast as the Millennium Falcon, and is amazing in just about every way. Tone it down, sir. Tone it down.

[Latus]

*puts on tech critiique shoes*

Quick suggestion, put spaces between the different categories to make it easier to read. Thanks.

Realize that the limit to different weapons on a hull is usually the result of where the hardpoints are. If you want to add more weapons it takes a lot of alterations to the hull.

Also, review is in red for your convenience.

Aug 30, 2011 20:27:01 GMT -5 catadmiralhousten said:

Name: The Voyager

Faction: Republic(Captain Joris Onasi)

Classification: Heavy Frigate/Command Ship

Stock/Custom: The Voyager is a custom Praetorian Frigate, has been modified at the Empress Teta shipyards with Joris Onasi.

Dimensions: Same as stock Praetorian Frigate.
Height: Same as stock What is stock?
Width: Same as stock What is stock?
Length: 185 meters, to accommodate more turbolasers.

Manufacturer: Rendili Hyperworks, Modifications done by the Empress Teta shipyards.

Power source: Reactor, backup Power cells

Hyperdrive rating: .5, backup . 8 Class 3 was experimental 3600 years in the future so bumping an already fast hyperdrive up is unrealistic to this setting. Likely make them the canonical values or talk to Arheim.

Crew: 1,567 more than stock to operate the laser batteries No need to say more than stock.

Armament: 5 light turbolasers, 1 tractor beam emitter, 2 massive turbolaser turrets Massive is not a category of turbolasers, only light, medium, and heavy. Heavy turbolasers are rarely present on frigates because of energy requirements and the hull size restrictions for an equally large power generator to run them., one one top, one on bottom, 2 concussion missile launchers , 46 missiles each.

Passenger capacity: 456, less than stock to accommodate more No need to say "less than stock." hanger space
Cargo capacity: 1,267 metric tons(all ammo for guns) Ammo is implied.
Consumables: 2 and a half years.
Hanger facilities: can carry up to 36 Blackcat fighters, and seven landing craft. You are trying to cram both weapons and extra fighters into a limited hull. Choose one.

Other: One Docking claw(retracted)

Statistics: 6 Statistics itself does not need a number
Speed: 7 Look at other frigates and compare scores.
Maneuverability: 3
Effectiveness vs starfighters: 5(point defense cannons and Blackcat fighters) The effectiveness is only reliant on frigate mounted guns, the fighters are separate.
Effectiveness vs Capital ships: 7(heavy turbolaser turrents) This will likely change as you reevaluate the weapon contingent. Compare to other frigates.
Shielding: 7 Too high. Commonly you have to choose either speed/maneuverability OR armor/shields. Compare to other frigates.
Armor: 8
Sensors: 6
Reliability: 8 Too high. The larger the ship the lower the reliability as more things can break down. Compare to other frigates.

Description/role: images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100219060432/starwars/images/thumb/b/b5/Praetorian-class.jpg/714px-Praetorian-class.jpg

All I can suggest to speed this toward acceptance is to look over other accepted ships, compare, and scale back what you have here. Frigates are rarely command ships as they are far too fragile. If you are looking for another flagship for the Republic look at some already accepted formats such as the Inexpugnable-class cruiser.

Finally, Arheim will be the one who will give the final word on this ship and any other tech you create.

*takes off tech critique shoes*

[sparrow]

Umm... Lat? The canon Praetorian frigate being referred to in the app is this (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Praetorian-class_frigate), not Zark's inexplicably larger version.

[Latus]

Oops, my bad. *goes back to revise review*