Swing Life Away

[Dire Wolf]

Seraphim was the very last world that Rhissai thought she would ever visit again. It was a fortress world that was a built and operated by the blades and republic military, and had been for years almost beyond memory. Not only was the world a staging area for the republic navy but it was also blanketed in the massive ODEN defense network. The entirety of the Republic Navy likely couldn't penetrate the defenses, let alone the Sith or the Mandalorians. That was why she decided to travel on a ship fleeing the Sith invasions.

That was how she now found herself in one of the many refugee camps littered around the picturesque city. It's majestic monolithic tower jutted out from the mountain and it's stark white buildings glittered in the early morning sun. A small smile spread her lips thin as she gazed upon Citadel, despite the fact that Rhissai had seen it hundreds of time before. She found it hard to believe that anyone within a city so captivating would want to detain her and lock her away for the rest of her days.

That was the case, though.

Rhiss did her best to put these thoughts to the back of her mind as she walked into the psuedo clinic that she had helped set up since her arrival. While her knowledge of the healing school was certainly lacking the Aphithiri had been taught some small measure of medicine. Fortunately most of the illnesses were routine, and the wounds little more than small cuts or gashes. Every so often there was a wound she came across that was beyond her knowledge of worldly healing, and only then did she utilize her incorporeal powers as a remedy.

Jedi had come and gone through the camp many times, but thanks to her skill at concealing her presence and a useful disguise they had passed over her as if she were some random medicine woman. Her clothes were little more than rags. Each of the barbaric tattoos on either arm and the brutish sigil on her back were all strategically covered. Otherwise brilliantly green eyes were covered by a pair of contacts that altered the hue of her iris to a simple brown. Scars marred the skin that could be seen through the torn rags she wore, most looking far too precise to be battle scars. Her cascading mane of jet black hair had been hacked and cut away to the point where it barely passed her jaw. As a final cherry on the pie of her disguise Rhissai wrapped a long and ragged cloth around her face in a fashion reminiscent of a shemagh.

Her work had screeched to a grinding halt in the recent weeks. Part was thanks to the brilliance of the doctor that Rhiss had worked under, and part was because of another clinic that opened up not far away. As a result, the woman found had taken a chair to her post just outside of the healing tent, lost in thought as she watched the crowd pass by her most of the day.

Rhissai Arckan was safe here. Maybe the Jedi would find her, but she knew for certain that no bounty hunters, Sith Marauders, or other unsavory characters would brave the perils of Seraphim for her. No amount of credits was good for you if you couldn't live to spend it, after all.

[Kella]

Roq's mind was rarely allowed any quiet anymore. There was always a decision to be made, always something to analyze, always threads to be knit together, always friends and enemies to judge. You couldn't tell by looking at him, however. The Graarl's mind was vast, and the deepest of its depths stable, so despite all the problems that flowed around within it, the surface remained still.

One of the most salient challenges had been the division in the Order, the split between the Blades and the Sith. Roq had been striving to keep relations between both sides amicable. Just because they were separated in space and method, did not mean they had to be separated in conviction and purpose. Above all else, the Jedi had to remain as one.

That's why Roq was on Seraphim. He'd been catching up with friends, hearing their stories and anxieties and victories. They needed to remember that for all their disagreements with the Jedi in the temple, friends needed remain friends. Roq had left the temple, though, and was not investigating the outlying refugee camps. Surely there were reports and statistics for the purpose of informing him of such things, but the fact of the matter was, reports and statistics were no substitute for faces.

Roq trotted through the crowds, letting his eyes capture each face as he felt each voice. It was interesting to watch the varied reactions. Some took him for a feral beast, before noting his calm behavior, some wrote him off a a pet and gave no second glance, and others recognized him as the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order. But he preferred to be in places where that title meant little, where practical problems and practical aid were far more important than formal authority and titles.

A woman stood out among the rest, as Roq could not tuck her face away, covered as it was by a cloth. This was nothing particularly unusual, as many cultures had such tenants. But rather than rushing with the river, she sat on the shore, watching the shoals of fish swim by.

Roq slipped out of the flow and sat on the ground next to the woman, wings tucked back and tail wrapping around his feet. He did not look at her, but rather also regarded the crowd.

"See anything interesting?"

[Dire Wolf]

Rhissai's entire body tensed when she felt an old presence enter the fringes of her awareness. Fear was not an emotion that she often experienced, or at the very least had a physical reaction from it. As a Jedi she was taught to eschew most emotions, and negative emotions like fear were at the near top of the list. Her brown eyes shut lightly at the urge her heart felt to run, but instead she stayed in her seat. The former jedi had spent the last few months fleeing her problems. She fled from the Jedi when things got tough. She ran from the Mythics at the first sign of conflict.

It wasn't long before Roq's scent wafted across her nose through the myriads of other aromas and odors that the refugee camp had to offer. The woman took the few moments that remained to ensure that the cloth that concealed her face wouldn't fall off, and that her rags still covered up the barbaric tattoos at either shoulder. Everything was in order. Rhiss returned to a casual resting position against the chair just as the draconic beast came into view.

Every iota of her being prayed to the Force and whatever other being that could grant desires that Roq would pass by with the rest of the crowd. Her wish was not granted. The leonine dragon took notice of the way that she simply observed the crowd, and moved over to sit beside her. Rhissai's heart surged forward as he spoke, and she breathed in deeply before glancing over to the Grand Master. She gave a hearty little chuckle, and her voice was proud and clear.

Each word seemed to flow into the next beautifully, as if she were almost singing. "Interesting is a relative term, Master Jedi." Those brown eyes shifted over to the bestial master, and her elegant eyebrow had a bit of a crook to it, "I'm afraid the things I might find interesting would be mundane for someone who leads such an exciting life."

[Kella]

Graarls, despite their many acute senses, were creatures of sound. Songs formed their memories, the words of their language auditory hieroglyphics. No amount of stress or muffle or distortion could have stopped that voice from invoking memories of heavy council debates, of narrowed green eyes and of discussions on telepathy.

Master Rhissai'Arkan, the ghost reappeared at long last. This struck a chord of joy deep within the Graarl's heart, but his outward appearance gave no indication. To be a Jedi did not necessarily mean that one could not feel emotion, it simply meant that those emotions were to be made the lowest priority when dealing with matters of importance.

This was a matter of great importance.

Rhissai had left so many questions in the wake of her disappearance. Some had tried to call it a defection, but Roq would not stand for this. Something in him knew that the woman was not gone, simply lost for a little while. He'd had a feeling that he would see her again, that the questions would have their answers, and once more he found that the Force had indeed been speaking to him, in its own mysterious way.

No doubt it had directed his path to this place.

"Come now, your life has had plenty of excitement," he said knowingly, though his eyes still scanned the crowds.

[Dire Wolf]

'Well... osik,' she thought as Roq hinted towards the fact that he knew who she really was. Her heart surged forward once again as she forced an eyebrow to quirk questioningly. Thousands of possibilities began to scream past her mind's eye at once. Each of those possibilities was worse than the one before it.

Being hunted across an entire galaxy tended to make one incredibly paranoid. It made her paranoid beyond a level that could be considered sane. Her only reason for hiding out on Seraphim was that the threat of being captured by the Jedi far outweighed the horrors of being caught by the Sith or the Hutts.

"A bit too much, if you ask me. Though I find myself wondering how you would know that, Master Jedi." Thankfully she had managed to keep her voice in the same calm and even tone. Should this come to blows the woman would prefer to keep the innocent denizens of the camp out of harms way. Though Roq's power could easily level city sized camp with a thought. She considered moving him back into the tent, but that would be a little incriminating.

Rhissai was never one to plead guilty to a crime that she didn't commit. It took her a few moments to regain control of her heartbeat. "Unless we've met before, that is. Though I think I'd recall meeting a Jedi of your... caliber."

[Kella]

Roq could hear her heartbeat quicken; Graarls were attuned to such low frequencies of noise. His presence made her nervous, agitated, she was concerned about something. Surely, if she were on Seraphim and still unknown to the Jedi, then she was hiding. Seraphim would provide good sanctuary from much of the galaxy's darker shadows... but also from the Jedi themselves. What trials had this woman borne in her time away from home?

But the woman was a Master Jedi, and soon had her response under control. Roq might have wondered if the woman had truly lost her memory, given the sincerity in her voice, but the contradiction between physiological response and tone spoke to hidden knowledge and motives.

"Oh yes," he said cheerily, "I'm quite unforgettable."

Then again, so are you, Master Rhissai, he continued, voice ringing in the Force. She was a gifted enough telepath that he need not even fully uncover her mind for her to hear the message loudly and clearly. It would have been rude to speak the name aloud, and risk breaking her cover. Giving the woman any reason to feel threatened would have been unwise. Though no chains or walls were keeping her away from those that considered her family, invisible bonds could hold just as strongly.

[Dire Wolf]

Elegant eyebrows rose in surprise when the Graarl master spoke to her with incorporeal words. She did her best to glean what little she could off of the top of the bestial master's mind. Malicious intent seemed to be far from the man's mind, as well as forcefully taking her back to the temple. Rhissai may have been one of the strongest Force users in the galaxy, but her power paled in comparison to the man that sat beside her.

Flight was far from her mind, despite this. Roq was a man that Rhissai respected not only because of his wisdom, but also because of his compulsion to discover the truth and his never ending patience. 'I'm flattered, Grandmaster. Congratulations, by the way,' the woman turned her head towards the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order. He was her friend, and a man that she looked up to without ever really saying it.

"What exactly would you like to know, Grandmaster?" Rhissai was not a woman who gave into defeat so easily. She was a powerful telepath, a great fighter, but her strongest trait was an unbreakable spirit. Though something told her if Roq's goal was her capture, he would have done it already.

[Kella]

The ruse was indeed expired, Rhissai having acknowledged her identity. Though, thinking that she could have hidden herself from Roq was a futile thought anyway, less because of his power as a Jedi, and more because he was her friend.

Roq turned to meet her look, and examined the woman's eyes for a moment, the slightest of muscle contractions around them, the minute dilation and contraction of the pupils. No detail was lost on the Graarl.

"I'd like to know how you're doing," he said simply, and with great sincerity. He could only help her if she wanted help.

[Dire Wolf]

Rhissai let out a heavy sigh at Roq's question. She knew it was coming long before she offered information, and yet the woman didn't exactly know how to answer it. Where to begin? How to explain? What to say? The woman's shoulders slumped against her little lawn chair as she looked at the Draconic Jedi. The beginning was always a great place to start. "Finding myself. Assessing my convictions, my devotion, and my own judgement. I could explain the circumstances with you, if you'd like."

It wasn't a stretch for her to assume that the Graarl would want to hear what she had to say. He was the Grandmaster, after all. After a moment to collect her thoughts and her memories, she began. "Master Took surely reported that Darth Eurachis and I fought before I lost, and he swooped in to save me. I was cast off of the mountain sometime after that. I don't know, I was unconscious. I just woke up on the side of the mountain below.

Four years prior to that he and I, Eurachis that is, had a... relationship. I hadn't known that he was a Sith back then, otherwise I would have reported the disturbing news. I cut it off just before I joined the council. Seeing him, knowing that he was a Sith. A Dark Lord, at that. I didn't trust myself anymore. Crisis of faith is the term, I think." The woman allowed her twin lightsabers to fall from their resting place up either sleeve, and laid them at Roq's feet. Even if she didn't return to the Jedi, the woman would give them the symbol they desired. As far as she was concerned, she no longer deserved to carry them anyways. At least until Roq deemed her worthy.

The crowd had begun to notice the two beings conversing after a lightsaber had made it's appearance. A simple wave of her hand had their minds and eyes directed elsewhere. People who viewed the two would simply look past them. Around them. They would see anything but them. Telepathy had more than one application. "Since my leave, I've been doing what I'm doing here. Mostly. I've helped people on Onderon, Coruscant, Metellos. Here. I've taken down drug lords and slavers."

And thus, she reached the part of her story that involved the Stellar Mythics. Etherium was a powerful drug, and it was one that she still had a few traces of in her system. The mere thought of the curling blue smoke wafting into her system through her nose almost sent flying into the tent to take another hit of the substance. Her will was indomitable, and no drug would overcome it. "During my travels, I made a friend. Kvothe Algaterra. He invited me to join his little cult, and thinking I'd finally found a place, I joined. It wasn't long before Master Lamillia found me and pointed out the Mythics' true colors. I left them, too. Here I am."

There it was. What she had done for the past few months since she had left the Ordo. Rhissai wouldn't lie to him, and even if it were within her character she knew better than to tell falsehoods to the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order.

[Kella]

Roq nodded encouragingly, and then listened carefully to the woman's account. As a Graarl's short-term memory was perfect, he replayed her words several times in his head, considering them, making connections, judging the heart behind them.

'Mythic', what an odd name, and yet vaguely familiar. He'd have to look that up later. For the moment, Rhissai was far more important. His eyes darted the crowd as they turned away in unison, like minnows turning their tails to a shadow. The woman's telepathy skills were ever admirable. She had been a great asset to the Order in her time with them, not only for her skills but also in her spirit.

Even the strongest spirits waver at some time or another, and though the thought had not necessarily been directed at Rhissai, it came from such a deep clarity and profundity of conviction that she would likely hear it.

He lay a foretalon gently on the pair of lightsabers, feeling the soft life of the Force within them. It was a gesture of great meaning, one that indicated Rhissai no longer considered herself a Jedi. That did not tell the whole story, however. Did she intend to cut all ties, with peace out of respect? Or did she no longer consider herself worthy of their weight?

"And in your journeys, what did you find? Have you solved your crisis?" His tone did not attack or defend, it was only simple, gentle curiosity.

[Dire Wolf]

"I beli-," Rhissai stuttered to a stop mid sentence. This was a rare showing of eloquence from a woman who prided herself on military level bearing, proper speech, and charisma. The reason for her surprise? Roq didn't utter a single word about her indiscretions with not only the opposite sex, but a member of which turned out to be the supposed leader of the enemy war machine. All that she could do was blink a few times in a state of near shock.

Surprise had left her as quickly as it came, and she took only a moment to collect her thoughts before responding. "I'm not sure, Grandmaster. I felt myself begin to teeter on the edge before my leave, and since then, but my encounter with Lamilia on Aiaru, the mythics' home world, set me back on the path." As for her ultimate crisis, Rhissai wasn't so sure. War and battle was still something that her blood yearned for, despite the fact that her conscious mind wanted nothing of it.

Part of her knew, or thought that she knew, what he was asking. The idea was only reinforced by the musing he had on strong souls. "Master Roq, I don't know if I'm still worthy of being called a Jedi. This isn't the first time I left the Order, but it was certainly on a considerably darker note." She had been about to say that bedding a Sith Lord was a crime worthy of this, when in fact the things she had done in the past were far worse. It was a vice that she uncharacteristically gave in to despite her better judgement and guilt. Even so, killing other Jedi outright and slaughtering a young family is still worse. At least in her view.

Those past crimes didn't make her feel like any more of a Jedi, of course.

[Kella]

The words she chose seemed to indicate that her main concern was less what she had done while away from the Jedi, and more the reasons and circumstances of her leaving. This was understandable, to Roq. It was a conflict that had no doubt plagued her every moment since then.

"There is a reason behind all the teachings of the Jedi, behind all of the rules and statutes. The mind knows this easily, and from the first moments as a Jedi. The heart, however... takes a much longer time to understand this. It is the constant struggle of the Jedi, conforming his or her innermost self to be the best conduit of the Force.

"The reason romantic relationships are forbidden to the Jedi is because they affect this innermost self. In true union, that self is made one with another, but the Jedi are called to be one only with the Force. That relationship you had with Eurachis, affected that innermost being. It compelled you to... build yourself on a foundation of sand. Naturally the shifting of that sand affected you deeply. But it is never too late to find solid ground. Which is perhaps what you have been looking for? Solid ground? Your travels, your pursuit of justice, the Mythics, all these proved to be sand?"

[Dire Wolf]

"Yes," was the only word she chose to respond with. She knew why the Jedi Code didn't allow intimate relationships, but there was just something about hearing it. "Each one turned out like the others. Including this, to be honest." Her hand motioned back towards the tent full of the wounded, the sick, and the otherwise ailing. From time to time she would use her telepathy to heal the unseen scars, which was somewhat satisfying.

Fear yet again entered her heart for the briefest of moments. Though it wasn't the type of fear that was born of concern for one's physical well being. It was more caused from the "what if" question that always seems to burned in the back of her mind. This time, it was 'what if he says no?' Even still, the woman knew what she had to ask. The Jedi Order was the one organization in the galaxy that she managed to find peace, even if she didn't see it just before her leave. "Grandmaster, if you'll allow me to return, I will"

[Kella]

Roq nodded solemnly at her acknowledgement. When not touched by the Force, all things had a way of feeling hollow, no matter how noble they should seem.

The Grandmaster smiled softly as the woman finished speaking. His heart warmed to hear those words.

"You will have to find for yourself a new foundation. Build it on the Force, and nothing else, for only the Force can bear the weight. But 'Jedi' is not a rank, it is family. And family does not sit around and wait for worthiness to be earned, family extends a lifting hand. You are not only allowed, Master Rhissai, but welcome."

Roq lifted the Sabers from the ground and turned them over in his palm, the hits resting against his talons as he held them to Rhissai. "Return, and be who you are."

[Dire Wolf]

But 'Jedi' is not a rank, it's a family.

A broad grin drew the normally stoney faced woman's lips back well past her teeth. Her heart soared with joy as he spoke those words. Not only was she allowed to come back, but she was welcome to do so. Encouraged. She knew that this didn't mean that her position in the order would be the exact same as it was before her crisis. Rhissai would be held under unbelievable amounts of scrutiny.

Each lightsaber gently lifted off of the Graarl Jedi's palm, and lazily drifted into each of her palms. The cool steel of her shoto pressed against her palm shortly before the rough leather wrap around her full sized blade's hilt. It felt oddly different to hold each lightsaber as a Jedi once again. She seemed to sense her late master's crystal within the hilt, and knew that Illuma was satisfied with her once more.

After a reveling in the warm feelings within her heart for a few moment the Jedi Master looked back at Roq. "I own what I carry on my back, Grandmaster. I'm ready to go home now."

[Kella]

There was a quiet moment as the Grandmaster smiled at his friend, fleshy base of his beak pulled into a wide grin, somehow communicating a sense of warm joy despite his predatory appearance. He stood and lightly shook his head, the tremor running down his body and making his scales rattle.

"Good." It was as if Rhissai had never been gone. "Come, I've got one more thing to do on Seraphim, and I think it's something you might be interested..."

And with that the Graarl began trotting through the crowd, back towards the towering spires of the Seraphim temple.