Quentin Highwind

[Quentin Highwind]

Name: Quentin Highwind
Age: 27
Race: Human
Birth place: Drall
Height: 6'3”
Weight: 195lbs
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Dirty blonde

Appearance:

Quentin is a scruffy looking nerfherder who still has a padawan braid which dangles over a bandanna he constantly wears on his forehead. He has unkempt long hair and a scruffy stubble across his face. He has a stooped gait and often slouches when sat. Quentin has a slight scar across his face from his last mission against a Sith cult, something which is a painful reminder of who he once was, and how he abandoned his old life.

His eyes are a brilliant blue while his skin is tanned and rough thanks to the regular sand storms he faced while on Tatooine. His clothes are worn out and dusty, only bothering to clean them once in a blue moon and living on the desert planet gives them a sand blasted look. Quentin will also never be seen without a small courier's satchel, he doesn't actually use it for smuggling but keeps a data pad in there to keep track of his journeys and log his experiences.

Personality:

Quentin is a free-spirited individual, although his happy-go-lucky attitude and cunning sales personality (thanks to working for a time at a Tatooine scrap yard) is often tempered with the caution and patience of his apprentice days. When in meetings with potential clients, or even when in the cantinas with other smugglers he will tend to be much more quiet than usual, that being said, sometimes he can't help but make some sort of smart remark, his mouth sometimes gets him into trouble. 

He is a kind and compassionate man, something he learned through his master who taught him virtuous behavior. He will help those in need where he can and will turn down any jobs that cause harm to innocents (he once delivered a package containing a dangerous chemical weapon, no questions asked, when he found out that it was used to wipe a planet of it's native population, he vowed never to move that kind of thing again).

Profession:Smuggler

Mastery Level:Apprentice

Previous Faction/Rank:Jedi

Equipment:

• Blaster

• Lightsaber [standard hilt][blue power crystal]
• Light body armour
  
  
  

Starship: Nightfall's Pursuit (minor cosmetic modifications)



Skills:

Force Attributes:
Telekinetic: 5
Telepathic: 4
Body: 3
Sense: 4
Protection: 0
Healing: 0
Destruction: 0

Practiced Lightsaber forms:
Shii-Cho: 4
Ataru : 4

Attributes: 
Physical Strength: 5
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 6
Leadership: 4
Unarmed: 4
Melee Weapons: 0
Ranged Weapons: 4

Bio:

Quentin was born on Drall to his father, Thes Fyr, a Jedi knight on a peacekeeping mission and his mother, Alaki Mesoth who was serving as an emissary to the Drall people, studying them, trading with them etc. As his father knew that he would find no higher cause in being a bastard child, and it was forbidden for him to have the child, he took him to the academy under the pretense that he had found the baby upon Drall and sensed he had a calling to the force, as such, Quentin was raised in the academy.

His father, although he wanted to take him on as his own apprentice, something which the council also suggested due to the fact that he was the one who found Quentin, he declined and asked his close friend, Kotrana Kortu (another Jedi Knight) to mentor him instead so he could watch from a distance (he was still involved in some of Quentin's training, acting as an aide to Kotrana when needed). When he came of age he entered into his apprenticeship and went through his padawan training. 

Kotrana watched Quentin develop, still unsure about mentoring him, he felt uncomfortable that Quentin would grow up without family and the risk of him turning to the dark side was far higher than the others. Although he suggested to Thes the idea of telling Quentin about his real father, he declined and asked him to keep him in the dark about it, for fear of the council finding out.

Although Quentin was a promising student, something that was noted during various missions with Kotrana where he showed courage and intelligence and excellent skill with a lightsaber, he never really excelled in anything and simply performed just above the minimum required, this wasn't Quentin's intention and the fact that he couldn't obtain a focus frustrated him, and made him angry, he felt that this was due to the high pressure and regime of the academy's training program. Throughout his growth he was well liked in the academy and was friendly and on good terms with his fellow students, he would often go and practice out of academy hours with the other padawans, other than that, sometimes he'd simply sneak out and watch ships taking off into the night sky, wondering where they were going, and although he looked up to the knights he saw every day as paragons of justice and light, he still felt that the discipline and rules were not for him, but he continued with encouragement from his superior.

Kotrana looked to his predecessors for help, going to former members of the council, they too sensed inner conflict in Quentin and the fact that he had doubts about his training, as such they advised Kotrana to keep an eye on him and try and steer him to the more meditative and peaceful ways of the force, Kotrana knew that he would have to increase the focus of the training in order to attain this, putting pressure on Quentin.

Kotrana always pushed him to try harder and to focus his energy on developing a specific skill set, but no matter how much he tried to persuade him, Quentin continued to simply average out, not being able to focus. During his training however, he did display quite sufficient skill with the Ataru form, something his master tried to use to motivate the boy and push him further to hone his skills.

He went on various missions with his tutor, it gave him time to reflect on his development and what he wanted to do with his life, his doubts against the academy grew and grew, but he didn't discuss them with his master, for fear of being accosted or being thrown out and left homeless.

After his 22nd Birthday, Quentin's master took him on a mission to find and eradicate the remnants of a Sith worshiping cult so that he may pass his trial of courage, however, a Dark Jedi looking for an easy living had arrived to take advantage of the cult's ways and confronted the Jedi, proving more powerful than Quentin's master had anticipated, he was quickly disarmed and when Quentin was faced with the choice to fight or flee, the thoughts of the academy flashed through his mind, how little he had cared for the lifestyle, the discipline and ultimately the fact that, the only reason he had been there is because he had nowhere else to go, no home, no family, just the academy. He ran, abandoning his master and never looking back. Whether or not he is still alive, Quentin doesn't know. 

After that day, he could not face the shame of returning to the academy, as such he drifted for sometime before making an extended stay on Tatooine. He managed to get employment as a scrap dealer, working under an old junkyard manager who was getting too old himself, and seeking an apprentice to help manage the yard. His graft and cunning, which he developed through bartering at the scrap yard and participating in out of hours dice games and card games at the cantina (quickly learning the ins and outs of deception, learning how to pick up someone's 'tell' and how to talk his way out of a sticky situation) were quickly noted by low level criminals who pressured him into couriering items cross planet.

After being successful and managing to outwit both the authorities and rival couriers he quickly moved on to larger pay loads and started smuggling items from and to Tatooine with a ship he bought and modified with the help of his mentor. He's traveled everywhere with small packages of high value, constantly honing his piloting skill and taking riskier and riskier jobs, sometimes his services are totally legitimate, i.e. providing an extremely fast taxi service for important individuals. Quentin is either on a job, or sat in a cantina, however, sometimes, still following his old ways he will sit in the cockpit and reflect, meditate and focus his thoughts, every so often, catching a glimpse of his dusty lightsaber and a frown passing across his face.

RP Sample:

Quentin cried out as the laser grazed his craft, sending it spinning past an asteroid, almost hitting, various panels and alarms were flashing and sounding, all of them red and loud. He quickly flicked some switches seeming to neutralize some of the problems, looking round in his cockpit to see his pursuer was gaining on him he ducked under another asteroid, trying to shake him off. His heart was pounding, he could hear it slamming in his ears as he made more maneuvers trying to lose his adversary. “That's the last time I steal a Mandalorian artifact, I don't care how much they pay me!” He shouted to himself, again just dodging a laser blast as it scorched a nearby floating rock. A small fragment of the asteroid clipped his ship, opening up a hole and short circuiting his navigation systems, he was flying blind now.

Quentin pushed his braid out the way of his face as his hair now hung loose across his forehead, beaded with sweat he carefully navigated the asteroids, for now it seemed the Mandalorians were taking the safe route above the asteroid field and keeping tracks of his location. It probably didn't help his cause that he was in a Mandalorian craft himself. He cleared the asteroid field with a sigh of relief only to be hit with a barrage of artillery from the Mandalorians, he quickly spun out of the way and fired up the thrusters, heading into the planet's atmosphere faster than he should have done, he could feel the heat and the pressure emanating through the glass, yet again though, the people chasing him had drawn back, and for good reason, parts of Quentin's ship were peeling off as his speed picked up, hurtling toward the surface. 

His craft powered down abruptly. Quentin looked about desperately and tried to power it up again, every time a flicker from the display which would then revert to a black screen. He yelled in desperation and kicked the panel on his ship which, funnily enough seemed to do the trick as the ship juddered back to life again. He pulled up, about twenty feet from the ground, the ship still crashed, embedding itself in the dirt, but Quentin had avoided his death, narrowly.

[Susan]

Yo bud, welcome to the site

From a cursory glance, I would say you would need to put a fair bit of more content into this. If you haven't all ready, the Section Notes is a must read.

Let's get cracking.

Appearance

Yeah a little bit expansion on this would be sweet. Perhaps go into more detail on his face? Also, what does he generally wear, does he have any noticeable tattoos, scars?

Personality

This is quite good, but again a bit short and could do with expanding. Why the happy go lucky attitude, is he reckless and enjoys the thrill of danger? Would his jedi training not have softened that a little, made him more cautious and disciplined?

Starship

If you are going to have a starship, you do need a link to it's page. Either use a stock model in the ships section, or create your own. Independent or Civilian would be my suggestion.

Skills

Don't see anything too over the top here, looks okay so long as it is justified in the bio.

Bio

Was going to comment on his father being a Jedi, but you have explained that fairly well. One thing though, does Quentin know who his father is, or has that been kept from him? I'd imagine it better if it was kept from him, younglings are taken from their families anyway, and Quentin's father could still keep an eye on him from the distance. Perhaps even take him on as his own apprentice. Which could be dangerous, such attachments can lead to the darkside and all that shiz.

I think a lot more detail on his years in the academy and his training would help fill the bio out a little more.

How old is he when he goes after a Sith? It seem's like a bit of a dangerous assignment for most fully trained jedi, yet alone a young apprentice. I think it would be better to have a lesser opponent for such a test, although perhaps there could be some kind of ambush that the master is caught in? Then Quentin can do the cowardly run away thing and leave the order for good? Also, it might work well if before this part you write about misgivings Quentin has about the order, how he doesn't enjoy the training, and doesn't think he will cut it etc. That can be used to influence his decision to run out on his master.

as a scrap dealer, his graft and cunning were quickly noted by low level criminals who pressured him into couriering items cross planet,

Where did he get the scarp and/or credits to start up this business? And what graft and cunning does he have, nothing that has been noted so far?

with a ship he made from a chassis and various parts

I don't know a lot about ship building, but I doubt it would be very easy, especially for one man to do. There is nothing that indicates he has any real knowledge of how a ship works, let alone how to build one. Maybe write about him being apprenticed to a junk dealer on Tatooine, and for years working under him learnt more about starships. And perhaps formed a bond with the dealer, the pair of them working on a rudimentary ship for Quentin to take to the stars.

The easier solution would be for him to save up from doing minor drops and buying his own old second hand rust bucket, at least to start off with.

All in all, it's a good start, but for me there is a lot that needs to be expanded upon, more detail and what not. Have you looked through any accepted profiles to get any ideas and gauge what is required here? I would suggest having a look at my smugger, Avanni Silas, as they are somewhat similar.

RP Sample No major issues here.


Hope to read more soon

[Quentin Highwind]

Thanks very much

[Susan]

Review up!

[Quentin Highwind]

I think I've managed to answer any questions/improve sections if you wouldn't mind taking another look

[Susan]

Okidoke, let's go again.

Appearance

Nice to see you have taken what I said on board, but I meant more than a couple of extra words for the appearance really. And I'm not so sure that a tattoo about the Academy is that fitting really. He ran away after his master was killed, and doesn't seem to have too fond memories of the place. Plus, I doubt it'd be that good an idea for a fringer walking round with a jedi symbol on his wrist.


Personality

You don't seem to really have done much with that, except a slight mention of the scrap dealer. Not quite what I had in mind, really. I meant write more about how his experiences have impacted on his personality, especially when in the academy, and with his master dying.

Starship

Good that you managed to find a ship you like, but that one is a stunt fighter, and I'd imagine Quentin would be better suited with a freighter? Probably a light one. I doubt a fighter would have much room for cargo, which is a smugglers meat and drink really.

Bio

Still needs a lot more information for me. It jumps from him being a baby and taken to the temple, to his twenty-second birthday. That's a huge leap, and near enough two decades of information left out. I think a lot more detail on his years in the academy and his training would help fill the bio out a little more.

Also, I like how you have brought in a close friend of the father's to be the master, but again, more detail here please. The friend's name, how he gets on with Quentin etc etc. Does he know that Quentin is the son? Lot's of things that could easily be expanded upon.

The idea of a sith worshipping cult is interesting, and would certainly be a less high risk mission than taking on a Sith proper. You have took on a lot of what I have said here, and I am glad that you agreed about hi slack of interest for the academy. But that just sort of manifests itself in this one sentence, rather than being something that has built up over the course of the bio. I think whilst writing about his years in the academy, you could hint about his displeasure about not being good enough, about not enjoying the ways of the jedi.

He ran, abandoning his master and never looking back, whether he is still alive, Quentin doesn't know but after that day, he could not face the shame of returning to the academy, so he drifted for sometime before making an extended stay on Tatooine as a scrap dealer, working under an old junkyard manager who was getting too old to be able to manage the yard,

This sentence is reeeeally long and could do with breaking up with a couple of full stops. I've amended it as follows.

He ran, abandoning his master and never looking back. Whether or not he is still alive, Quentin doesn't know. After that day, he could not face the shame of returning to the academy, as such he drifted for sometime before making an extended stay on Tatooine. He managed to get employment as a scrap dealer, working under an old junkyard manager who was getting too old himself, and seeking an apprentice to help manage the yard.

What grift and cunning does he have?

Looking good so far, although still a wee bit of work to do. Another thing, I think you should make him a little older, because I don't think he would be able to sort himself out and get enough cash together to get his own ship in two short years. Especially since Tatooine is far from a wealthy planet, and barely more than a settlement at this stage. Cash would be hard to come by for everyone out on the rim.

[Quentin Highwind]

I've done a complete overhaul of the personality section for readability and to include the changes you made, I think I'm going to stick with the stunt fighter as I envision Quentin as moving small, high value packages i.e. artifacts, technology, narcotics.
I've updated the bio, added names, tidied grammar and pacing and made it flow better.

Hope this one is an improvement!

[Susan]

Appearance

I still think a bit more would be better, but that'll probably do.

Personality

Still not quite what I meant, but good to see some expansion. Again, more couldn't hurt, but if you are happy with it, should be fine.

Starship

I assumed by smuggler you meant long haul cargo kind of stuff, but if it's just small item couriering, then that ship'll be reet.

Bio

Good to see that this has fleshed out a bit more. How involved was Quentin's father in his son's life? Did he pay attention to his training sessions, or did he leave Thes to it? I still think more about hi straining would be better, what with it being the main part of his short life. Write about how he is a promising student, write about his reluctance to choose a specific path focus, about his attitude to his own overall mediocrity?

I like that you have added in him having doubts about it all, but no real reason about the doubts. Why is he questioning his life at the academy? Perhaps it's wanderlust, he just wants freedom and independence?


Also, you still haven't really elaborated on him having graft and cunning. What exactly do you mean by that, and where does it come from?

[Quentin Highwind]

Added some more detail to appearance and inserted more training into the bio, also added more behind the doubts he had

[Susan]

Appearance

Good job. Although it looks like that wierd size thing has happened here and in the personality now.

Personality

Alright

Bio

Looking good, although I'm not too sure jedi ancestors would advise a master to stop training someone, more to keep at it and try to convince Quentin the good he can do learning mastery of the force. Also, I'm not too sure if Jedi can even communicate with long dead ancestors. The force ghost thing seems to only happen in very powerful Jedi, and they contact the living, not the other way around.

Other than that minor little thing above, is looking good. Rugs will probably have a few queries of his own to add when he get's around to having a look, but I don't think I have missed anything too major.

One thing I would suggest as an afterthought, is expanding on his time as a smuggler, instead of just summing it up in one sentence. Looking like a promising character, though!

[Quentin Highwind]

Edited and ready I think, thank you very much for your help!

[Susan]

You have a ridiculously long sentence in the last paragraph, but other than that after a quick look, seems fine to me. Will just have to wait for a green bdage to come and take a gander. Likely Rugs.

[Rugs]

WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP

Ahem...

Let's take a look =P And welcome to swu!

---

Basic info:

Looks good. Only hiccup in that the lighstaber forms should be listed separately. Melee weapons is for non-lightsaber weapons. So you should have this above his Force Attributes:

Practiced Lightsaber forms:
Shii-Cho: 0-5
Makashi : 0-5
Soresu : 0-5
Ataru : 0-5
Shien / Djem So: 0-5
>>Sub-form Backhanded: 0-5
Niman: 0-5
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield: 0-5
Juyo: 0-5
Double Bladed Combat: 0-5

Forms he doesn't know should just be blank or have a 0 or N/A by them. Alternatively, you can just list the two forms he knows.

Anyway, I'll look at stats in full after the bio. That was just a little formatting issue.

---

Bio:

Interesting beginning. I am curious to see if the fact that Quintin is a Jedi Knight's bastard son will come up again later. After all, Jedi aren't stupid - I"m interested to see if that comes up through the bio or later on in play.

So where'd he go for training? I ask because there are a few Jedi Temples/Enclaves: Dantooine, Mustafar, Illum, Rhen Var, and of course, the main Temple at Coruscant.

During his training however, he did display quite sufficient skill with the Ataru form, something his master tried to keep in check, lest Quentin be consumed by the anger the form makes use of.

Ataru isn't a form that needs anger to function. You might be thinking of Vaapad, a variant of Juyo that Windu developed later on. Flirting with the edge of the Dark Side does come into play for that one, but Ataru is a normal form, like the other basic seven.

. . .however, a Sith had arrived to take advantage of the cult's ways and confronted the Jedi. . .

Mostly a matter of semantics here, but the Sith proper hadn't returned by this point. Could be a Dark Jedi fronting as a Sith or some such, but the actual Sith (as in the members of the Sith Order) are still a few years removed from their return.

---

Stats:

Strength- Can probably come up to a 5 or 6. 4 is about average strength for a woman. Given his size, he's probably stronger than that =P

Melee weapons can come down. Like I said, it's for non-saber weapons, so lightsaber ability doens't factor in to it.


And that's all I've got for the moment :3

[Quentin Highwind]

Changes made, thanks for reading

[Rugs]

Approved

Profession:Smuggler

Mastery Level:Apprentice

Previous Faction/Rank:Jedi

Equipment:
Blaster
Lightsaber [standard hilt][blue power crystal]
Light body armour


Starship: Nightfall's Pursuit (minor cosmetic modifications)



Skills:

Force Attributes:
Telekinetic: 5
Telepathic: 4
Body: 3
Sense: 4
Protection: 0
Healing: 0
Destruction: 0

Practiced Lightsaber forms:
Shii-Cho: 4
Ataru : 4

Attributes:
Physical Strength: 5
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 6
Leadership: 4
Unarmed: 4
Melee Weapons: 0
Ranged Weapons: 4

[Quentin Highwind]

thanks very much! um...where do I go from here?

[sparrow]

You can find an open thread and ask to join. You can put up an RP request and describe the kind of thread you'd like to write. Or you can try to catch people in the cbox to RP with you.

[Susan]

Try checking out the Plot Discussion section, the Fringe sub-board specifically might be of use. See if there are only plots being discussed that interest you, or write up your own idea to see if anyone else is interested.

Always a good start

[Jenno]

Moved to Inactive.