Setsuna Sorakaze [wip]

[ramboneil]

Name: Setsuna Sorakaze Ph.D [Service number: C-2-FH-98767283(x)]
Age: 30
Race: Gene-Engineered Experimental Hybrid [Strata](Laitra-Human w/ gen-mods)
Birth place: Quantum Vision Works Bio-prototyping facility #39 (Battle 83)
Height: 5' 11"
Weight: 142 lbs
Eye Color: Heterochromatic, neon-blue right eye, light green left eye
Hair Color: black, pigmentation turns white when using the force, acts sort of like a heads up for the scientists.

Appearance:

Personality:

Profession: Bounty Hunter, Bail Agent, Private Security Consultant

Mastery Level: sub-padawan

Previous Faction/Rank: None(technically)

Equipment:
Starship: Modified Knaar-class Corvette [Hull ID: DE(f)-77332]
Bomb bay replaced by 40 cell VLS:
Up to 40 "Starbright" Long Range Anti-shipping missiles
or up to 160 "Archer" Evolved Point Defense missile
Can fit proton torpedos or concussion missiles in a pinch.
Light turbolasers replaced by one Infinite Repeater (Nuclear Fusion Pulse gun: 330 RPM)
and one 6 barrel Heavy Gatling blaster (6600 RPM)

Skills:
Degree in:
Xenobiology
Quantum Physics
Medicine

Lightsaber:
Color:

Practiced Lightsaber forms:
Shii-Cho: 0
Makashi : 0
Soresu : 0
Ataru : 0
Shien / Djem So: 0
>>Sub-form Backhanded: 0
Niman: 0
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield: 0
Juyo: 0
Double Bladed Combat: 0

Force-Sensitive Attributes:
Telekinetic: 0
Telepathic: 0
Body: 2
Sense:4
Protection: 0
Healing: 1
Destruction: 0

Specialized Powers: none

Attributes:
Physical Strength: 5
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 6
Leadership: 4

Unarmed: 3
Melee Weapons: 4
Ranged Weapons: 7


Bio:

RP Sample:

[Apillis]

Ok, so I was told you wanted to talk to me about some shiz cause your'e using Laitra stuffs. Well, the Laitra are essentially manufacturers for the Sith Empire (similar to Muunilist, which is whom they work in conjunction with often) at this point, and thus the Laitra tech that's labelled under "Sith Empire", is exactly that. So, it wouldn't necessarily be the Laitra you're getting it from, it's the Sith Empire, as that's whom they're making the stuffs for. So to get the tech some way, somehow, you're going to be dealing with the Sith Empire itself as much as your the Laitra (if not more so from a certain regard, the Laitra just make the shiz, what the Sith Empire does with it from there is on them).

Now...

Race: Gene-Engineered Experimental Hybrid (Laitra-Human-Human w/ gen-mods)

I have no idea "Laitra-Human-Human" means. If you mean Laitra/Human for one parent genepool and Human as the other genepool. The Laitra/Human is essentially a Strata, their half-breeds which have basically begun to develop as their own sub-species of the Laitra. But that being the case, then that'd make this char only 1/4th Laitra, which I've mentioned in their species app the Laitra genepool in the child is so diluted at that point, they're basically human.

If you're talking about having taken gene samples from two humans and one Laitra, I'd still say the same on a purely judgment call basis and question what the benefit would be. The Laitra genepool is still fairly minute and drawing from two different human subjects just to mix with one Laitra subject, it sounds redundant with the x2 human samples. It seems pointless.

Eye Color: Heterochromatic, neon-blue right eye, dark red left eye

I don't know about the neon bit, but red or orange-yellow eyes for the Laitra/Strata is after severe corruption by the dark side. Basically at the point where they've used and fallen so far to the dark side when an individual gets all veiny faced and look like the corpse of a drown victim. And thus it wouldn't be in just one eye, it'd be in both.

Hair Color: black, pigmentation turns white when using the force

What I underlined never happens. The Laitra have no Super Saiyan transformations. When a Laitra/Strata gains black or white hair it's for the same reasoning that they gain red or orange-yellow color eyes. Their corruption to the dark side has become so severe it's at the point they get all veiny faced and look like the corpse of a drown victim.

But to clarify, even then it is not 100% occurrence.

Really, if all you're going for is hair and eye color outside of the human norms, then I'd suggest dipping into the Theelin genepool.

[ramboneil]

Well, I'm assuming that it's possible for a neutral entity (Quantum Vision Works) to buy a Knaar hull from the Laitra for retrofitting at an independent dockyard even if it's labeled under sith empire tech, sort of like how Pakistan of all places bought Oliver Hazard Perry frigates from the United States or how France sold LHDs to Russia right in the middle of the Baltic crisis. If it doesn't work that way, let me know.

Gene-engineered Experimental Hybrid Laitra-Human-Human w/ gen-mods actually does mean Strata/Human only with gen-mods carried out by morally ambiguous scientists. I was intending for him to be the only one out of like, a few hundred embryos who developed into a functional sentient being after being introduced to the Gen-mods. At the moment, I'm still deciding what actually significant things the gen-mods could actually do. If you would like to set some limitations for me, please do so, I need to know what kind of framework I'm allowed to work with.

Eye color: Oops. Blue and green it is then.

Hair: Apparently that was supposed to be an after effect of the gen-mod, not Laitra genetics. I can change it if you want.

[Apillis]

Well, I'm assuming that it's possible for a neutral entity (Quantum Vision Works) to buy a Knaar hull from the Laitra for retrofitting at an independent dockyard even if it's labeled under sith empire tech, sort of like how Pakistan of all places bought Oliver Hazard Perry frigates from the United States or how France sold LHDs to Russia right in the middle of the Baltic crisis. If it doesn't work that way, let me know.

Yeah, whatever, I don't care about that, what I'm saying is at some point, someone has to deal with the Sith Empire to get these things, and they're not exactly prevalent--the Laitra while a manufacturer and ally of the Sith aren't exactly massive or wide spread for there tech to just be willy-nilly picked up by any old Independent dock. So gonna have to be smart about it rather than just purchasing it from any old schmuck.

Also... (because I didn't look at it before, only the top section of the app)

Bomb bay replaced by 40 cell VLS:
Up to 40 "Starbright" Long Range Anti-shipping missiles
or up to 160 "Archer" Evolved Point Defense missile
Can fit proton torpedos or concussion missiles in a pinch.
Light turbolasers replaced by two Infinite Repeaters (Nuclear Fusion Pulse gun: 330 RPM)
and one 6 barrel Heavy Gatling blaster (6600 RPM)

Dial this stuff back significantly. Like a lot. Otherwise, you've destroyed the entire purpose of the vessel. It's great speed exists so its power-source can use the majority of its to power accelerate and fuel its engines for a quick hit and run bombing. Everything you have there involves having to decrease speed, target, and fire each of which drains from its power-source. This vessel is not much for maneuverability or resilience (for a military vessel of its size). So with reduced speed for all that you have there, it'll essentially be easy pickings. Checks and balances, for being a devastating bomber with little maneuverability and protection it was made to be very light and very fast. But with all those shiny missiles WITH the uber blasters you have there, you've just undercut it's ability to move with its immense speed by forcing the vessel's power-source to work that much harder than it already does (hence its low Reliability rating).

So what you'll wind up having to do if you want to keep all that jank, is need strong shielding so it can take hits better while its firing all those nifty blasters and missiles. But that also means it'll need to be rearmored too for the same exact reasoning as needing new shielding, this will make the ship heavier and be more a drain on its power source. But hell, at this point, now you have a completely different friggin' ship fulfilling a completely different purpose and unable to do what it once was designed to do. So why use it all?

Think within reason of what something is designed to accomplish, when it's taken too far outside of that--it weakens it, then begs the question--again, why use it at all?

Gene-engineered Experimental Hybrid Laitra-Human-Human w/ gen-mods actually does mean Strata/Human only with gen-mods carried out by morally ambiguous scientists. I was intending for him to be the only one out of like, a few hundred embryos who developed into a functional sentient being after being introduced to the Gen-mods. At the moment, I'm still deciding what actually significant things the gen-mods could actually do. If you would like to set some limitations for me, please do so, I need to know what kind of framework I'm allowed to work with.

Well, it's making me ask: what's the point? Why are they looking to do this with the Laitra of all species? Why are you choosing the Laitra? If you want a Force-sensitive bio-engineered humanoid, why involve the Laitra at all, especially when you're drawing from two human subjects? It doesn't make any sense. Because I mean, hell, friggin' clones can be Force-sensitive, once again, just need a human subject for that--for easier to obtain at that. So once again it begs the question, why the Laitra? Whatever benefits or drawbacks or what makes a Laitra a Laitra is utterly eclipsed by the gene-therapy or bio-engineering all of which can be accomplished with a purely human subject. So again it falls to, why?

To put it a bit more plainly, if you're not going to utilize any of the characteristics of a species specific to them, why use that species at all? Again, everything you're looking to do here. You can do with just a simple human.

First off, he's male, already putting well outside of the Laitra (which automatically makes me say no to this char--as they're a freakin' monogendered species, it's like trying to make a male Asari--I mean, really?), secondly 'he' doesn't age like a Laitra or even a Strata, and thirdly 'he' has nothing to do with their culture or society or anything.

Everything you want to do here again, you can do with a human, you literally can remove the Laitra aspect entirely and still have the same freakin' result. So it's like, again, why?

[ramboneil]

>.> Umm, you do realize that missiles draw zero power from the powerplant right? The whole point of the missile is that it's a self contained easily expendable weapon system. The only thing that would possibly draw power is maybe the computer inputting targeting parameters. A VLS is almost exactly like a bomb bay only the bombs have rockets on them. I dialed back the weapons though, now it's only one infinite repeater. The Gatling blaster stays though, it's a CIWS, it's meant to kill fighters and missiles. Any captain trying to use it in a slug-fest would get laughed off the battlefield.

I don't think I actually specified anywhere in the bio that Setsuna is a male. Actually, since it's a bi-gender name, from here on out, Setsuna is a female and Strata. For now the excuse for why she even exists is that the group of morally ambiguous whackjobs that did the gene-engineering did it for the "Evulz" before cooler and more humane minded people intervened. As for why Laitra, I'm just assuming that they'd want to be sure that their specimens were all force sensitive or maybe they wanted to experiment with a dark-side inclined race.

[Faeruy]

You didn't say it in the bio but you did refer to the character as "him" in your first response. A second thing I'm gonna put out there is that the three degrees in vastly different fields is patently ridiculous, especially for someone who's 30, ESPECIALLY for a character who's part Laitra who at age 30 would still be a teenager at best, and especially for someone who's current occupation has nothing to do with any of those fields of study. I know you haven't written a bio yet, but I can tell you already that that won't be allowed.

[Apillis]

>.> Umm, you do realize that missiles draw zero power from the powerplant right? The whole point of the missile is that it's a self contained easily expendable weapon system. The only thing that would possibly draw power is maybe the computer inputting targeting parameters. A VLS is almost exactly like a bomb bay only the bombs have rockets on them. I dialed back the weapons though, now it's only one infinite repeater. The Gatling blaster stays though, it's a CIWS, it's meant to kill fighters and missiles. Any captain trying to use it in a slug-fest would get laughed off the battlefield.

I don't give a damn. Within SW torpedos and even concussion missiles launchers function by drawing power from the ship itself. They don't operate the same as they do on an F-16 or F-22, with SW they're a contained projectile that's shot out like a cannon, but to fire that launcher it draws from the ship's power.

But you still don't address how they would even get this from the Sith Empire, even going by your earlier analogy, Pakistan was allies with the US at the time (the same in the case with France and Russia). A governing body during a time of war doesn't just sell their new tech to just anyone out there, and when it does it's typically it's out-dated tech they no longer use. It's simply sound policy, you maybe friends now, but if they turn on you (or sell it to an enemy yours but not an enemy of theirs), instead of your good stuff, they're just fighting you with your out-dated crap you were looking to get rid of and make an easy buck.

But during a time of war, selling their brand spankin' new pretty tech specifically made to blast apart blockades and capital ships at mindblowing speeds? Why would they sell this to an Independent dock or to an Independent security firm?

So, no.

I don't think I actually specified anywhere in the bio that Setsuna is a male.

Really...?

I was intending for him to be the only one out of like, a few hundred embryos who developed into a functional sentient being after being introduced to the Gen-mods.

I kind of took that as you making the character male. It's hard not to when the male pronoun is utilized.

As for why Laitra, I'm just assuming that they'd want to be sure that their specimens were all force sensitive or maybe they wanted to experiment with a dark-side inclined race.

That's why I was making the point, clones can be Force-sensitive, they could utilize any Force-sensitive human (which are far more easier than having to go waaaay out into Sith territory in the Unknown Regions to get a Laitra sample directly from a vicious technological species, or hope for the one a zillion chance of finding a nomadic Laitra wandering about the galaxy) and still get the same results. I mean you'd think for a bunch of brilliant bio-engineer scientists they'd have this level of foresight. Dilute the genepool too much and what's the point? Force-sensitive? Capture a human Force-senstive--clone it. They been doing that crap for years (though typically with questionable results one way or another even when 'successful'). So still it comes full circle, why?

The reason I keep asking why is because of what I wrote at the very top of the Player Notes in the Laitra species app:

Like authors of other custom species apps, I too reserve the right to check your Laitra homework should you create a Laitra character. It's not to force you to play my way or the highway, but rather--there are several things that make the Laitra who they are, and I like to see that being respected. Why play a species if what sets them apart from other species isn't going to be utilized or respected?

Notice this whole time, all we're talking about is friggin' tech or what the point is of evening utilizing the Laitra. Because again, just remove the Laitra bit, you still can get the same EXACT results purely with a human alone.

No where am I seeing anything to do with their culture, social perspective, personality, or any aspect that sets a Laitra/Strata apart from other species existing here.

If this is really what you're going for, just go with a human. There's no point to using not just a Laitra but any Near-Human species for that matter in this case given what you're looking to do.

[ramboneil]

>.> Fine, scrap this one, I'll start over

[Apillis]

I'm going to give you the simplest and yet best advice for not just getting a character approved, but at its most basic--creating one.

Stop with the tech crap.

Stop with the overly b.s.'ed explanation of how they came to being.

The latter (and ESPECIALLY the former) are all just needless fluff and nonsense, non-essentials of any importance to making a character.

Focus on just making a person. Again, ignore take tech nonsense, enough with that crap. Don't bother with the super scientific bio-engineered cybernetic automaton abomination of an experiment stuff, start off with just keep to simplicity.

To reiterate. First just focus on making a person. And to make it even more simpler for you, just a make a human being for your first character. Focus on that alone, ignore all the fluff and nonsense.

[Rugs]

Moved to inactive pending