Sish Balkk

[Thaddeus]

Name: Sish Balkk (Swims through fire to capture his prey alive), commonly addressed simply as Balkk.
Race: Trandoshan
Age: 55 years
Height: 7ft2in
Weight: 220lbs

Appearance:

Balkk is tall, even for a Trandoshan, at over seven feet when his scaly powerful frame enters most rooms he has to bend somewhat to pass under door frames. His brown scales reduce somewhat the reptilian horror that some Trandoshan's can invoke, though of course his colouring is not at all uncommon just it is not as common as green. But when he speaks all pretense that he may be some other gentler species is given away by the rows of sharp teeth, the poking forked tongue, and the hissed syllables of his basic.

Both the claws on his feet and his hands are still razor sharp, though he is careful and has never unknowingly scratched another. Indeed the beautiful teeth and claws mark him out as a particularly attractive Trandoshan, at least to other Trandoshans, other species tend not to notice anything other than these features potential for danger and damage.

Yellow eyes eagerly take in the world about him, they are perhaps the most notable feature of his face and head as he lacks any distinctive horns. He does have five bony ridges running along his head, but no horns. This is not uncommon, but nonetheless does gentle his appearance somewhat.

A practical individual Balkk rarely wears anything other than the simple attire of a Jedi, though he does eschew the long flowing robes preferring just the over and under tunic with a utility belt. Though he found it useful sometimes to wear the long robe and hood, almost famous for its association with the order, to obscure his appearance. This was because he had often found it difficult to move about unmolested, his species was not the most trusted in the galaxy to behave itself.

The simple clothing, massive muscular bulk, and tall frame when combined with his Trandoshan features ultimately make Balkk unmissable in a crowd. 

Personality:
55 years of life, 52 of which spent amongst the Jedi, have made Balkk into a very unusual Trandoshan. Indeed in comparison to the image of his people he looks a saint, of course Balkk is the first to point out that not all - indeed not even most - Trandoshans are unscrupulous bounty hunters. That his species has a rich culture, a thriving civilisation, and has long been a member of the Galactic Republic contributing for over 3000 years engineers, warriors, pilots, merchants, and more. More than anything this image of his people as cruel, unprincipled savages has shaped him. He has dedicated his life and being to showing the galaxy that Trandoshans are honourable and virtuous, and worthy of being members of the Republic.

Perhaps because of this dedication, as well as innate nature, Balkk is rather humourless. He is serious and dour, seeing levity as a distraction and sometimes as a cover for fear. He prefers to devour fear, to face it forthrightly, rather than hide it or diminish it. This honest seriousness and unfrightened approach to life has served him well as a Jedi. However it does make him unapproachable, and fails to inspire others - even other Jedi find the Trandoshan an unlikable companion. Balkk rarely explains himself, and is known to be rather taciturn. Again this is born of his idea that a Jedi must act, not merely philosophise, but most take this for a rudeness or even cruelty in the Trandoshan. Compounding this was the fact that his Master had been Lorrdian, so often he does communicate more but it is kinetic not verbal and so is missed by most. One might think that the Trandoshan Jedi is alone in the order, being so uncommonly unapproachable and terse, but of course this is not so. No man is an island, and even Balkk has his friends among the order, those rare individuals who took the considerable time to get past Balkk's nature.

He is no great philosopher of the order, not that he is unintelligent, nor without insight, but rather he is a practical man. He sees the Order not merely as recluses learning the mysteries of the Force, but as warriors and defenders, hunters. Such a vision of the Jedi is seen by some as verging towards the Dark, indeed the Trandoshan's attitude to battle (not uncommon among his people) as not repugnant but a beautiful expression of strength and honour is consider dangerous.

In battle the Trandoshan Jedi is more alive and real than at any other time. Teeth showing, eyes wide, nostrils flared and guttural hiss roared from his throat... it is a sight to behold, and most that do tremble. Many see much emotion and darkness in Balkk during his frequent battles, and in point of fact there is much emotion. A Trandoshan could not be anything else during a fight, such was their nature, to be detached and aloof was simply unthinkable. That Balkk has never fallen is a testament to his master's teachings, and to that fact that he only revels in that which is honourable and virtuous. Nevertheless it is a dangerous path he treads, he still has many years left, and only the future knows if the Trandoshan will take a step into the shadow.

Birth place: Trandosha
Languages: Basic, Dosh, & Lorrdian kinetic communication

Faction: Jedi Order
Rank: Jedi Knight (Guardian)

Lightsaber: Single-phase, Ilum blue crystal
Color: Blue

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho 5
Makashi 0
Soresu 5
Ataru 0
Shien / Djem So 0
>>Sub-form Backhanded 0
Niman 0
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield 0
Juyo 0/5
Double Bladed Combat 0

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 5
Telepathic: 2
Body: 7
Sense: 4
Protection: 5
Healing: 4
Destruction: 0

Specialized Skills:
Tapas
Force Body

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 8
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 6
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 1
Melee Weapons: 3
Ranged Weapons: 0

Bio:

Pre-Discovery

Born Ashkrik (To bleed your foes dry) in the city of Varic on Trandosha the hatchling which would become Sish Balkk was strong and healthy. Both of his parents worked as simple city engineers, most of their days spent preparing the city for a sandstorm or repairing the city after one. He grew well, and before long the little hatchling was tottering along behind his father as his parent went about his routine. By 3 the little Ashkrik was already stronger than any of his peers, and whenever there was a group of them together he was quick to assert his pre-eminence. These early years are barely recalled by Balkk, and who can truly remember their first 3 years of life other than as vague shadows of memories.

Discovery

A Jedi peacekeeper assigned to Trandosha, to ensure that no enslavement of Wookiees was underway primarily though also to promote peace among the natives, passed through Varic on his way back to Hsskhor. The Rodian sensed the presence of a child which could touch the Force, and made his way to the Hall of the Elders. Explaining himself to the assembled Elders, and asked that all the hatchlings - for the Jedi could sense that the individual was young - be assembled so that he may take the Trandoshan for training in the Jedi Temple. A Trandoshan who was sensitive to the Force was exceptionally rare, and the Rodian knew that if the Order was to train him they must reach him early before the culture of the Trandoshans had truly sunk in. Such had been his case too.

So the hatchlings were all proudly displayed before the Jedi, to belong to the greatest order of warriors in the galaxy was something no Trandoshan parent would begrudge their child - or so at least had been the mass thought in Varic that day. The Rodian reached out in the Force, and soon found himself face to face with the unafraid gaze of the young Ashkrik. His parents took the news well, though they did ask if they would ever see their child again and when they were told no there was a deep pang of sadness and hesitation. But slowly the Rodian explained the situation, the two parents nodded and hugged the confused Ashkrik one last time. His name was asked for, and his parents looked at each other knowingly before replying,

"He wassss known as Ashkrik, it meanssss to bleed your foes dry..." But a smile formed on both their faces, an uncomfortable situation as the sharp teeth made them look positively manic to anyone other than a Trandoshan, "...But Jedi do not do thissss, so we will now name him Sish Balkk." His father nodded at the boy, and Balkk would never go by any other name. "To ssswim through fire to capture foesss alive, this is the Jedi way."

The Rodian smiled at the Trandoshan parents, and then nodding before grabbing Balkk's hand and leading him away. The journey in the land speeder to Hsskhor was a silent one, the young Balkk watching the sands pass them by. The Rodian didn't dally and made straight for the spaceport and his small diplomatic shuttle. It would be Balkk's first time in space, and even now aged 55 the Trandoshan remembered it with perfect clarity.

It wasn't the roar of the engines as they started, or the clunk as landing gears retracted, nor even the glowing red of the shuttle as it passed through the atmosphere that Balkk most was in awe of or remembered years late. It was space, the vast silent emptiness, it was like an immense desert it was impossible to feel lonely. No the young Trandoshan could sense life stirring on all sides of this new desert, space became too young Balkk the embodiment of a supernatural and wonderful existence. He never forgot the stars, their exact arrangement and brightness he remembered decades later, as they stretched before the shuttle and hyperspace surrounded them he simply sat mouth agape.

Coruscant was something else entirely, it was a planet the likes of which Balkk hadn't even dreamed of in his wildest flights of fancy. An entire city covered the planet, its atmosphere thick with shuttles, spaceships, freighters, all making the descent seem dangerous and nigh impossible to the ignorant Balkk. And the noise! Miles above the surface the mechanical groan of technology mingled with the barely heard voices of billions, it was dizzying. There was nothing familiar here for Balkk, no sand, no trees, not a single thing to remind him of home... and for the first time in his young life he was truly terrified. The Rodian sensed his fear and reaching over placed a hand upon his shoulder,

"Do not fear, for fear leads to the Dark side." The Jedi wisdom was offered in warm and comforting tones, it was not cold philosophy, and Balkk was calmed somewhat - though of course he was still a child, and so while he calmed he remained afraid... for now.

The shuttle slowly descended, and spires of the Temple loomed into view. Among all the buildings on Coruscant only this one seemed at peace, something about it despite its towering stature seemed smaller, calmer, more natural. As if this building had been there always and the rest of the city impatiently erected around it. Balkk was not to know until much later that such peace was born of the Order which called the Temple home.

Landing in the hangar the Rodian Jedi gingerly lead the nervous Balkk out of the shuttle, he was hesitant to step onto the cold floor, part of him thought nothing that had been so tall could be real. But after seeing the Rodian walk a few steps without falling to his death the Trandoshan followed eagerly. He did not wish to stray from the Rodian, not because of any deep connection, but simply because he was familiar while nothing else was - it was a child's reasoning. He was lead first to the infirmary.

There he was poked and prodded by Jedi healers and medical droids, he was vaccinated for a dozen things, and his general health checked. He took it well, though occasionally the little Trandoshan would hiss or growl when a needle was sharply pushed under his scales. The Jedi doctor was a smiling Twi'lek, Balkk had never seen one before and his clawed hands kept trying to touch her lekku. The Jedi gently explained what she was, what she and the droid were doing, and through it all Balkk listened silently. After the infirmary he was taken to the nursery, as at 3 he was too young to truly begin his training.

Nursery

His three years in the nursery went by in a blur, and he certainly cannot properly recall them, but nonetheless they were critical to his development. He had never been surrounded by the young of other species, and certainly never in such numbers. There were Rodians, Iridonians, Twi'leks, Humans, Duros, and more. For the first week or so the young Balkk just sat around dumbfounded staring at the diversity of it all.

After that initial shock wore off, and he realised that though they all looked so very odd on the whole they were no different to his hatchling friends back on Trandosha, he returned to old habits. He began to try to dominate the others, as he had done back home, but he never even made it as far as threatening them - let alone the physical violence he had used once. The Jedi and Service Corpsmen who were assigned to watch over the young intervened quickly and always decisively. Each time he was put in time out, and his error was explained. But Balkk was stubborn and so he tried again and again, it would be over a year before the lessons began to sink in.

The turning point came when several others were playing a simple game, now normally Balkk would have barged in and tried to make himself the head of the little group. But just as the carers rose to intervene they smiled, the young Trandoshan quietly asked,

"May I join?"

Now children in their infinite capacity for kindness and true justice did not hold his past actions against him, but instead smiling and laughing eagerly invited Balkk to join them. Of course he was just a child so he occasionally tried his old habits, but as another year rolled these moments became more and more infrequent. Till in his final year in the nursery he was as polite as any of the others. His time in the nursery had come to an end, aged 6, along with the others he was placed into one of the Initiate Clans and begun the true training of a Jedi as a youngling.

Youngling

Assigned to Boma Clan the slightly nervous Balkk was introduced to the 10 other Initiates who for the next few years would be his close companions in study and training. The Jedi Order always ensured that each clan was composed of many different species, Boma Clan was no different. They were led to their communal rooms by the Iridonian instructor, Kao, who was in charge of the clan. Awkward introductions were exchanged, and in an instant a millennial old enmity was fired between Balkk and a Wookiee called Arriaddik. Neither could point to something the other had said or done in their first meeting that had made them dislike each other, but both agreed that they loathed the other from this moment.

The training regime began immediately; in the mornings they would study the mysteries of the Force, during midday they would study political science, mathematics, history, Basic, all depending on the day, in the afternoon they would undergo the physical training that would hone their bodies. Throughout the day they would meditate, every class would begin with the Jedi Code, and so their days became routine. At night they would help each other, though Balkk and Arriaddik would never help each other. Indeed there was an undercurrent of competition between the two, it pushed them and made them the two very best Initiates amongst the clans, but Kao did not encourage it. He often set tasks that made them work together, he knew that while the enmity may propel them forward now, it could eventually consume them both and see their fall to the Dark.

Throughout these early studies the growing Trandoshan showed great aptitude for Control, and for the mastery of his body and his training sabre. His martial training however did raise concerns among the instructors, as he did not hide his enjoyment of besting the training droids or his sparring partners. He hissed and growled, and all in all failed to show the detachment of a Jedi. For this they set the Trandoshan extra meditation on the Code, while others only had to meditate 5 times in their day, he had to meditate upon the Jedi Code 12 times a day.

Out of the clan it was Jae that Balkk was closest to, the two complimented each other nicely. Jae was far more social and interested in the mysteries of the Force, while Balkk was the more remote and physical of the two. They would help each other constantly, and Jae was often thought of as Balkk's voice among the clan. For it was rare that he wouldn't say, "Balkk and I think this..." while the Trandoshan just nodded and looked on.

As the years rolled on eventually it came time to administer the Initiate Trials, the now 10 year old Balkk along with the rest of Boma clan nervously awaited the dawn. Come the morning they were each individually lead off, Balkk was the fourth to be called up. Before the assembled instructors of the Order he was asked to recite the Jedi Code, and then to offer his interpretation. He spoke softly, but unhesitatingly, about the Code and his understanding of it. The instructors included, not that Balkk knew, the Rodian who had brought the Trandoshan to the Order. All of them, the Rodian in particular, were impressed by the youngling and informed him that he had passed the first test.

Next he was handed a training sabre and hood which prevented him from seeing, a training remote hovered in expectation. Here Balkk truly excelled, his technique was simply flawless. Every parry and block timed exactly, his footwork fine, further the instructors could sense that their youngling was going to great lengths to control his emotions. This more than anything else pleased them, for it had been their gravest fear. The remote whirred its last and Balkk removed the hood and looking nervous asked how he done. The reply was unanimous and without delay, he had performed admirably and had passed.

His final test was to settle a theoretical judicial matter: Balkk was told that as a spaceship was crashing to a planet only two people remained on board, there being room for just one of them on the last escape pod, during the race towards the pod one of them pushed the other to the ground. The first man made it, but the one he pushed to the ground perished. Should he be tried for murder, or should he be excused as it was a matter of self-defence? Balkk stood silent for a long time, considering the question, but he was so unmoving that one of the instructors asked if he needed it repeated. Balkk shook his head but thought some more before finally replying,

"Thissss is no easy matter, but I think Massterss that the Ithorians have the answer..." He was nervous, and spoke slowly, his hissed basic barely audible, "...They say that for 'every plant that was desssstroyed in the harvest, two must be planted to replace it.' So thisss man should make sssure two beings live full livesss."

He shuffled slightly, looking goofishly young was not something many had seen in Trandoshans but that was exactly how he looked. The instructors looked to each other quite amused, most of the other initiates up until then had asked about the local laws, or prescribed some sort of monetary fine. But this was... something far more attuned to the Jedi Code. So with one last look to each other the instructors then told the young Balkk that he had passed all his trials as an initiate.

He was lead off and was greeted by the warm smiles and cheers of the other initiates who had passed their trials. All sat and talked, well Balkk sat and listened occasionally nodding and smiling, while slowly more trickled in and joined them. When Jae entered Balkk stood, quite above the crowd, and for the first time truly cheered and applauded. The Sallustan ran over to him, and the two eagerly exchanged their experiences. Arriaddik came striding in and for the first time Balkk did not even nod let alone smile or cheer. Eventually all of Boma clan made it into the room, only a few initiates from the other clans had failed, but none from Boma.

Jedi Temple Apprentice Tournament

Not a week after their initiate trials came the annual tournament in which initiates could compete for the attention of Jedi Knights and Masters, one of the ways in which they could become Padawans. Of course not all initiates participated, some had already found or been assigned their masters. Jae had been chosen by a human Knight who served as a healer for the order, he was excited by the path before him. Something Balkk could not understand, but he was happy for his friend. He had not been approached by any Knights or Masters, he was a little worried, but not overly so. Balkk figured it was because he had never been outspoken or social, but in the tournament he would come into his own.

The day arrived and the Combat Training Arena was filled with initiates, padawans, knights, and masters. Meanwhile one by one the initiates were led in, ignited training sabres and duelled to the first to score three burns. Balkk's first opponent was a human female, she was quick but clumsy, it was over quickly. He waited and watched several more bouts before his next turn would come, he noticed Arriaddik was also participating... and doing well. His second opponent was a male Rodian, he was less clumsy and more disciplined, but he was a bit porky. Balkk simply drew out the fight and as soon as he was tired, struck three times in a row.

In between his bouts he studied his old Wookiee clan mate closely, he was very good, easily a match for him. But he did not worry, he was confident. The next bout came, it would be his last before the general melee. A Duros opposed him, she was cautious and had been watching him, at first his faints and baits failed. But eventually Balkk seared her wrist causing her to drop her blade entirely, two more burns followed one to the chest and another to the back.

There were 12 initiates left in the final melee to the last standing. Standing in a circle Balkk and Arriaddik faced each other, it seemed the Force wanted them to test themselves against each other. The signal came and 12 training sabres thrummed to life, Balkk and Arriaddik charged at each other - both suppressing a guttural growl. In the middle of the arena they parried and struck at each other, neither penetrating the other's defences. An Ithorian was about to lunge at him Balkk sensed, ducking and spinning his hard scaly leg tripped the new attacker. His hilt collided knocking out the initiate, quickly raising his guard he parried a vicious blow from Arriaddik. This time neither suppressed the noise which came from the very back of their throats. The hiss and roar seeming agelessly antagonistic. The melee raged on, occasionally Arriaddik and Balkk would interrupt their fight to deal with someone who sought to take advantage of their focus. Eventually only they remained.

Balkk growled and hissed, Arriaddik roared, training sabres hit one another with great force, yet neither had the upper hand. Balkk sensed something in his opponent... it was like something snapped, and in instant the Wookiee had unsheathed his claws and dropped his sabre and lunged at Balkk. Gasps rung out through the training arena, Balkk was knocked onto his back, his tunic was in pieces and already he had begun to bleed when Arriaddik was pulled off him and restrained. Healers rushed to him, but Balkk waved them off and standing walked towards the Wookiee which still raged. Everyone looked on wondering, Masters considering the initiate carefully, only Jae was calm as he knew his friend.

Balkk bowed his head and looking up stared at Arriaddik eye to eye,

"I am ssssorry..." Puzzled looks crossed most faces, Arriaddik's too, "... I have alwaysss been unfair and competitive with you. Your attack wassss my fault too."

Kao smiled proud of his former pupil, several Knights whispered to each other, and as the Healers carried everyone away and the tournament declared over - the winner was Balkk, though it was not deemed appropriate at the time to make a big affair of it. Balkk meditated upon bed in the infirmary, his chest a little sore but not overly so. He opened his eyes when he heard footsteps approach, a lithe human woman in her prime of life stood before him. He bowed his head, but said nothing, oddly the human woman did not seem perturbed by his silence as most beings were. Smiling she spoke in a beautifully delicate voice,

"I am Master Nee Pledesin, I am sorry to interrupt your meditations Sish."

"No need Massster, and please everyone callsss me Balkk."

"Very well then Balkk..."

Nee continued on slowly and precisely speaking in Basic, she told Balkk that she had seen him during the tournament and had asked the High Council that he be assigned to her as her Padawan. Balkk could not contain his excitement and smiled widely, weirdly Nee did not flinch as most everyone in the galaxy did when a Trandoshan smiled. Balkk could not help himself and asked a question, which to most would be so odd as to strike them dumb.

"Massster, you do not flinch or grimace when I sssmile, everyone else does, why?"

"Because I am a Lorrdian, my people were banned on pain of death from speaking for centuries, so we developed a kinetic language and became experts in body language. People may flinch when you smile because they don't notice the way the muscles near your eyes tighten, or how your lips don't curl up but instead stretch. Ignorance gives birth to fear. I am not afraid of what I know." She smiled herself, a delightful smile, friendly and maternal at once. Balk was exceptionally intrigued, and went to ask more questions. "No more questions for now, you shall rest and meditate. I will come tomorrow and we shall begin your training."

Balkk had no need to ask how his new master had known that he wanted to ask something, and despite the fact that nothing about Nee said she was a great warrior Balkk was excited to be her padawan. As she left the room Balkk meditated, but barely as his mind was filled with prospects of the future.

Padawan

Balkk begun his training under Master Pledesin just as she was in her final year of serving on the Council of Reconciliation. He was in two minds over this, it was good because it did not jar his routine too much unlike many padawans who now found themselves traipsing across the galaxy, but at the same time the adventures they were having were not his to have too. Attending his Master on her council meetings, or following her to the Senate, he found himself exposed to the intricate relationship between the Jedi and the Republic earlier than many in the Order. Master Pledesin had from their very first day begun teaching her padawan the kinetic language of the Lorrdians, and often during dull meetings she would quiz her padawan silently and he would have to answer also in complete silence.

When not in these situations Balkk would meditate with his new master, deepening his connection to Force. Pledesin could tell that Balkk unlike most Jedi could not see the Force as separate to his body, he was not some abstract philosopher. So she taught him to focus the Force on his body, and Balkk responded well to this approach. Quickly his Force talents and abilities grew closer to the standard of others, though of course he was limited somewhat - and Pledesin made sure Balkk was aware of his shortcomings.

"You may be the master of your body, and you may be able to focus the Force upon your body, but remember Padawan that the Force is much more than this mere part." Balkk would always nod, he didn't entirely agree, but he understood what she was trying to do.

A Force technique that Pledesin made sure her padawan studied closely during this early time in his studies was Tapas. Being a reptilian species he was susceptible to the cold, and such climates could weaken him. With this technique he could keep his body warm and endure great cold. He showed promise with it, and he practiced with her for the rest of his time as a padawan. Balkk look forward to the sparring and lightsaber lessons more than anything else during this first year. Shii-Cho which he was familiar with the basic tenants of imbued during his initiate times was now expanded upon. Pledesin herself had mastered the style, and was exceptionally fond of it. Though she had another style in mind for her padawan eventually.

The padawan and master during this rather uneventful, but period of exceptionally intense study, first year of knowing each other saw in each other something. Balkk recognised a Jedi who was strong and powerful in not only aspects of the Order he admired, but excelled further even into areas he never much admired or expected to be talented in. Pledesin saw a young Jedi who struggled against his own nature, who was fundamentally selfless, and whose physical strength was matched by his virtue. Mutual admiration was the foundation of their relationship, and it would serve them well in the years to come.

But this year of theory, study, meetings, sparring, almost like a furthering of his initiate times came to an end. And with great excitement Balkk looked forward to seeing the galaxy like his fellow padawans.

The new Council of Reconciliation sent Master Pledesin and Padawan Balkk first to Duro to settle a new trade deal with the shipyards of the planet. Balkk still remembers packing for the journey, he had a simple pack, it carried only what was essential. His packing was interrupted when his master entered, and spoke softly,

"I know this must be exciting, but remember you are a Jedi you must control your emotions - even those which are good and admirable. This will be your first time outside the Temple, I expect you to follow all my instructions." She finished the somewhat chastising lecture with a bit of kinetic speech that intimated that she knew he would exemplify the Order and her. Balkk replied in kinetic speech that he understood entirely.

Duro was an easy first mission, there was nothing unexpected. Simply go to the many shipyards and renew longstanding agreements between the companies running them and the Republic. It was dull all things considered. But it was the first time that Balkk truly realised how poorly others viewed his species. Every Duros they met watched him closely, those in security rested their hands close to their weapons, and the officials often politely requested that he leave the room. He was always proud when his master shook her lovely head, and said that her padawan must remain with her. The whole trip took over a week, there were just that many shipyards. During the time between meetings Balkk meditated with his master, answered her questions and dilemmas, or trained aboard the shuttle with his weapons. The few moments he had totally to himself he spent researching galactic opinion on the Trandoshans... he was embarrassed deeply.

The mission ended and they journeyed back to the Temple, Balkk turning and asking his Master,

"Am I the only Trandoshan to ever become something other than a slaver or bounty hunter?"

"Of course not! Though you may be the only Trandoshan to have become a Jedi, Trandosha like all planets produces artists and torturers, good and bad, no one species is wholly and totally evil. To think in such absolutes is not the Jedi way, nor is it correct."

"Other people should see as you do."

"Sometimes it is hard when you are struggling to merely survive to pause and truly consider things."

"That is no excuse."

"No it is not, I would never excuse anyone's ignorance, but what I offered was an explanation. But think Balkk to all those Duros you met you showed every last one that Trandoshans are not uniform, but like them are as full of good as of bad."

It was this conversation which laid the seeds for Balkk's personal crusade to redeem the Trandoshan species, to show the galaxy that his kind were as worthy of their place in the Republic as any other. Of course at the time he remained still a little unbalanced by the injustice of it all. Such is common, after all to go from the Temple where injustice is unknown to the harsh reality of things is jarring to all, Pledesin was not worried about her student. He would learn.

Years rolled on, and Pledesin and Balkk travelled frequently on missions from the Council of Reconciliation. His studies intensified and Pledesin continued to mould her young padawan into a Jedi Knight. Finally at aged 15 the nearly seven foot Trandoshan was told that he would begin studying a new lightsaber style. As they walked through the Temple Pledesin explained her choice to Balkk,

"When you fight you let your emotions come to the fore and take over..." Balkk went to object but a quizzical eyebrow that could be read without Lorrdian kinetic language silenced him. There was no point denying it. "...Because of this you will always walk close to the Dark side my padawan, at least in combat." Pledesin knew that outside battle Balkk felt no touch of the Dark, but he could not overcome his nature when in combat, "So you must have a style which tempers you, encourages you to be patient, to channel those emotions into your blade and body, but doesn't tempt you with the Dark side."

"What style massster?" Balkk asked unabashedly, Pledesin was always frank and honest with Balkk, and he took no offence at her assessment - he knew it was true.

"You will study the third form, the way of the Mynock, Soresu."

So he began, still with a training saber, studying Soresu when at the Temple, when on missions, there was never a free moment which he and his master did not fill with the study of the third form. It was difficult for him to begin with, his instinct was to lash out, to be aggressive, but Soresu demanded patience and endurance. His master had been correct as the style channelled his emotions during the fight and ensured they never lashed out and lead him on a Dark path. Further his great strength and endurance was ideal for the style, he would eventually be able to outlast all of his foes waiting for the single moment where a parry could be turned into a riposte and the fight one. The battlemasters at the Temple told Pledesin that they had never seen a padawan with so much potential in the form.

Trial of Spirit

It would be a full year and a half after beginning studying the way of the Mynock that Balkk would finally travel to Ilum with his Master to collect the crystal to make his lightsaber. The entire journey he was made to meditate on the Jedi Code and on the lessons he had learnt over the past 6 years. He considered all that Master Pledesin had taught him, all the lessons and aphorisms, all their shared missions, all the training and meditation, and as he did he realised something. He rose from his meditation and walked the short distance to the cockpit of the shuttle, here he found his master at the controls,

"Padawan you should be meditating, we shall arrive shortly."

"I was massster, but I wanted to ask ssssomething..." He trailed off and bowed his head, Pledesin was intrigued and kinetically indicated for him to ask, "...I cannot ssshape my hilt as yours, my biology means a larger hilt than yoursss, but a padawan should honour their massster in their blade." Pledesin nodded, this was usual, her hilt had been modelled after her master from so many years ago, "...Ssso if I may I would like one of your Lorrdian gemssstones to use." Balkk kinetically intimated that he would be greatly honoured.

Pledesin gently unfixed the necklace which hung about her neck, and handing it to her Padawan with a proud smile. Balkk returned the smile, Pledesin was the only one for whom Balkk smiled unabashedly for as only she never flinched, and returned to his meditations. It was not long before they landed on the cold planet, master and padawan disembarked walking towards the temple which guarded the entrance to the crystal caves.

Master Pledesin opened the great door to the caves,

"You have all you need..." She pointed to the small satchel Balkk had which contained all the parts of what would be his lightsaber, "...From here you will journey into the caves alone." Balkk nodded, and walked off slowly.

He allowed the Force to guide him, like following a slender taper beam of light, wandering the paths of the crystal caves. The beam of light abruptly went dark, and coldness fell upon him, Balkk was forced to his knees. Looking up he saw a ghostly scene play out before him, it was the tournament and Arriaddik had just been restrained. He walked towards the Wookiee like had happened, but this time he stole a Knight's lightsaber beheading the Wookiee with a roar and hiss. He looked at himself holding the head aloft, his yellow eyes flaring and forked tongue flicking out tasting the scent of the blood... he could feel how much he adored it, how his heart pumped, how utterly and singularly alive he was. Balkk was shaking, not from the cold though, was this what he truly was? A bloody-minded beast? Could he deny it? Would he always have the strength to deny it? His whole being was smothered in darkness, the caves seemed to close in, and he could not sense that beam of light anymore.

A cold wind saved him, it drew him away from that vision and back to that fact that his knees were in the cold damp dirt of the cave. Slowly and hesitantly he forced himself to stand, saying out loud as he did, "No... while the heart ssstill beatsss, while the flesssh still movesss, I will not desspair. I am a Jedi." He was on his feet now, and breathing like he had run a marathon, but he was standing and concentrating he could see a pinprick of light. One foot in front of the other, each step he recited the Jedi Code, and Balkk slowly passed through the apparition that had been in front of him. He was chilled to the very core as he passed through his ghostly self still frozen in the ecstasy of a kill.

He walked on, and slowly the light became a warm and wide beam of light once more. He had won that first battle against the worst of his nature, and with the teaching and tools that Master Plenesid would give him Balkk was confident that he would continue to triumph. Eventually he found what he had been looking for, a simple blue crystal which he chipped off from the surrounding rock. With lighter step and increased he made his way back to his master, she asked nothing, Balkk suspected she knew (and indeed she did). For the next month they would remain together on the planet, though not engaged in the same task.

Balkk concentrated and meditated upon his lightsaber and its crystal, reaching out in the Force and imbuing the weapon with his own nature of being. He only interrupted this task to eat, which was the only time he saw his master. Master Pledesin for her part used the time to engage in deep and solitary meditation, it was a much needed respite for her. At 44 she had been almost constantly engaged in her duties to the Council of Reconciliation since her knighthood, this time to concentrate on the mysteries of the Force was wondrous and peaceful. But eventually one meal Balkk presented his master with his completed lightsaber.

Pledesin handled it carefully with both hands as it was very large so as to sit comfortably in a Trandoshan hand, eventually standing and igniting the blade with a loud thrum, the heatless blue blade glowing and humming quietly in the air.

"It is very strong, and yet..." Pledesin spun the blade around with grace, "... Impressive my padawan this is a fine weapon, worthy of the Jedi who wields it." She smiled broadly and proudly when she saw into the hilt Balkk had set the Lorrdian gemstone, it would always be there to touch his skin whenever the Trandoshan reached for and ignited the blade. A tactile reminder of the master who had taught him so much. Decades later the gem was still there, polished smooth from Balkk's constant handling.

Balkk bowed his head deeply, and had he be human he would have been blushing deeply, but his Lorrdian master did not need anything so unsubtle to see that her words had humbled her padawan.

"Thank you Massster." The blade sheathed and the hilt handed back to Balkk, "We will leave shortly then." And they sat down and continued their final meal.

Padawan

Further years passed, and the two Jedi grew closer with each mission, their soundless kinetic communication often making others uncomfortable. Never had a Master and Padawan seemed to talk less, of course though they discoursed greatly it was just always silent. The Lorrdian language managed to save their lives in sticky situations not just make people uncomfortable.

More and more often their missions’ encountered violence, it wasn't that they were being given more dangerous missions as Balkk matured in his abilities and studies, but simply that the peace which had endured was slowly almost imperceptibly unravelling. Pledesin lamented it, and Balkk too missed the simplicity that peace had offered, but he could not deny that the growing danger offered him better opportunities to test himself. Soon his conversations with his master turned to discussions of the Jedi, whether they were warriors or philosophers. Pledesin thought that they should be a combination of both, which Balkk agreed, but she saw them more as reclusive thinkers than forthright champions. Balkk did not agree with that, their debates were lengthy and occurred between training and meditation, sometimes during sparring sessions, but they never became angry or heated. Both enjoyed the foil the other provided, it allowed them to better sharpen their ideas.

His training in Soresu continued, he had mastered the basics and now the advanced techniques were his focus. He also had found that combining the form with his use of the Force to fortify and enhance his body allowed him greater feats. Pledesin encouraged him this, knowing that the techniques of Force Body not only suited her padawan but would further strengthen him against his own weaknesses. The two as they walked to and from the combat training room looked the oddest and yet most comfortable pair; the now over seven foot 18 year old Trandoshan loomed over his petite and lithe Lorrdian master.

This time the odd pair were walking to a meeting with the High Council, they had been told that a special mission awaited them. Balkk stood silently by his master's side as the council told them that Jedi had been captured by a bounty hunter, Pledesin & Balkk were to go to a meeting with the Cartel representative and ransom him.

Trials of Courage & Flesh

Their shuttle touched down on Nar Shaddaa and the two Jedi quietly made their way to the rendezvous, neither wanting to live their fellow Jedi to the tender mercies of the Hutts longer then they could. Hurrying through the streets and alleys, no one paid them any attentions because there was one rule on Nar Shaddaa - your business was your business, nosy people never seemed to live long around here. An abandoned medical centre was the location for the hand-off,

"Balkk I sense something, be prepared." Pledesin looked around carefully, "Yesss masster."

Almost as soon as he had finished his sentence a dozen or more thugs walked in, Klatooinians mostly, all armed to the teeth and between two of them was the limp figure of the Jedi.

"Credits?" Pledesin kinetically spoke to Balkk, the Jedi was dead, this was a trap. "First we must see our brother and make sure he is well." There were some laughs and the body was dropped to the ground and kicked, "Dead, and you two are our new guests."

Their two blades ignited, and blaster bolts began flying in all directions as the two Jedi parried and blocked. But just as soon as it looked like they were thinning out the ranks of the thugs more poured in, and when again it looked like they had thinned their numbers yet more poured in. But Balkk did not despair he trusted in his saber, in the Force, and in his master. But without even having to see he knew that his master had failed to block a bolt and it had sent her careening backwards.

"Oi Lizard!" Balkk turned to face the Klatooinian who now held a pistol at Pledesin's head, who was rapidly telling her padawan to run silently. "Throw down your weapon, or she gets it." Balkk snorted and hissed, but sheathed the blade and threw the hilt away. The butt of a rifle knocked him to his knees, and several blows later he was unconscious.

He awoke chained to a wall and stripped of all his clothes, he tried to reach out in the Force to see if his master was okay. But his concentration was interrupted when a Vodran stepped out from a shadow, "Hello my friend." Balkk eyed the little soft thing and hissed, "Where is my massster?" The Vodran smiled wickedly, and wagged his finger, "Oh dear asking questions, my last guest did that." The Vodran ran towards Balkk rapidly, and rammed a white-hot metal rod through his abdomen, Balkk screamed and hissed loudly while his hands fruitlessly tried to grasp the wound. "What do you want?" Balkk hissed between rapid and painful breaths, the Vodran tutted, "Nothing, and dearie me you are a slow learner..." A second rod pierced through his thigh, and Balkk mercifully passed out.

He was awakened to two batteries being attached to the rods still in his body, the Vodran whistled a tune as he set about his work. It took every ounce of his focus to concentrate on the Force that flowed through him, he steadied himself and drowned his flesh in the Force, soon he said to himself soon... and then every muscle and nerve ending in him tightened and flared as the electricity coursed through him. The pain was unbelievable. But he endured, the Force soothed his nerves, relaxed his muscles, the pain was still there but it had become a dull ache now. The Vodran snorted unhappy that his 'friend' wasn't writhing in agony like the last Jedi - or like the female Jedi he had left an hour earlier.

He reached over for the Jedi's lightsaber, Balkk hissed and strained at his restraints. "Ah fond of this my friend? Well you know friends always share." The Vodran walked back slowly igniting the blade, "I am told that it cauterizes the wound, always wanted to see that..." Ripping out the rod from Balkk's abdomen blood began to flow slowly, but before he could even register the pain from that his lightsaber (thankfully on its lowest setting, the ignorant Vodran having no idea how to wield such a weapon) was plunged into the hole. It pushed through him, burning, searing, cutting, and finally the hilt hit his skin as the blade embedded in the wall behind him. "Do they seal the wound straight away? Well let's leave it in there for a bit just to be sure." He twisted the blade around for what seemed like an age before finally and slowly pulling it out and sheathing it. His finger poked the cauterized wound, "Huh look at that." Balkk again passed out.

Fortunately for Balkk the wound had missed all of his vital organs, the Vodran like most sadistic torturers knew his craft - and in order to extend and cause maximum amounts of pain he had avoided the organs which might have brought the Trandoshan the sweet release of death.

As he drifted through almost unconscious sleep he could see that scene from the crystal caves play out again, this time it wasn't teasing him, it seemed to be calling him... telling him to use that power, to surrender to the worst part of him, to free himself and to kill everyone. He would have too, but he sensed his master, she was alive (barely) and what strength she had she was using to reach out and keep him from falling. Balkk awoke, he would not fail her.

He concentrated, feeling the Force course through him again, this time he didn't wait for the inevitable. This time in the dead silence there was a crack as with the Force aiding him Balkk broke one arm free and then the next. Reaching out his lightsaber flew to his hand he ignited it and quickly unshackled his legs. He unhooked the metal rod in his thigh from the battery, and then with a grimace yanked it out, dimming his blade to its lower settings he repeated more gently what the Vodran had done. He did not know how long he could keep up what he was doing so he quickly set out.

The door flew off its hinges and his blade decapitated the two startled guards. Feeling out in the Force he ran along the halls, guards falling in quick strikes or from reflected blaster bolts, as he looked for his master. It had only been minutes, but it seemed like forever, by the time he found her. She was similarly chained to a wall, and looked to be in a worse state than even he was. He cut her down, she was completely unconscious, and throwing her over his shoulder followed his instincts and made for the exit.

Cutting through the heavy door was slow, and the guards led by the Vodran caught up with him, "Oh my friend you know this won't do..." The image of the tournament from the caves flashed before him again, but he didn't give in. Gently putting down his master, who awoke as she hit the floor, Balkk hissed, "Walk away." There was a chorus of laughs, Balkk closed his eyes and brought his lightsaber hilt horizontally beneath his chin and ignited it. Blaster bolts flew, and in a beautiful display Balkk's blade flurried this way and that without effort. His eyes still closed, trusting only in the Force which he channelled into his blade, Balkk was held back from falling by his Soresu. The guards stepped back in fear, the Vodran had already disappeared, eventually enough of them fell that the rest scattered.

Once he had carried his master to the shuttle, the entire trip in silence, the Trandoshan passed out and collapsed completely exhausted. He would awaken in the Jedi Temple, to the grateful face of his master. The medical treatment was extensive, Kolto was required to treat much of Balkk's wounds. Though the Jedi healers were somewhat thankful that the young padawan had been tortured by someone who knew what they were doing.

Padawan

Balkk and Pledesin rested in the Temple for over a month, after which time they both appeared before the High Council and gave the full story. Both master and padawan tried to give more credit to the other for their survival and escape, if there had been any doubt to the depth of their connection and understanding prior to this event there was none thereafter. Routine resumed almost immediately, study, training, meditation, and the missions resumed their normalcy.

In his 20th year Balkk and his master actually journeyed to Trandosha to investigate rumours of slave trading. The rumours turned out to be just that, but Balkk enjoyed the journey immensely. He did not seek out his parents, for in truth he did not miss them as he was exceptionally happy with his life as a Jedi. But seeing his home planet confirmed for him that the galaxy's opinion of his species was wrong. For he saw people struggling to make an honest living in simple and humble trades like anywhere else in the galaxy.

Pledesin was glad her padawan did not feel pangs of longing for another life, visiting one's home planet often made padawans think about the path not taken. Indeed she suggested that once he become a knight that he should consider becoming a Jedi Watchman for Trandosha. Balkk was overjoyed at the thought, he had never even considered it.

Missions and studies rolled on, the Lorrdian and Trandoshan Jedi quickly were becoming the duo of choice for the diplomatic missions requiring a nuanced but principled approach. On occasion they even were assigned to aid the Republic Senate, Balkk loathed these missions as they were trips down the halls of bureaucracy which he found stifling.

During his training and study sessions he sometimes asked if he could study another style, but Pledesin warned him against this. Other styles all were more aggressive, and could lead him down a dark path, he must maintain the endurance and cautious patience of Soresu if he was to remain a Jedi. After sometime and meditation on himself Balkk accepted the wisdom of this, on a practical level it meant that he would be able to master Soresu like almost no other.

During lengthy breaks between missions the two Jedi would travel to Ilum, and there alone meditate and spar with each other. Balkk enjoyed these journeys, they were calming and offered him much insight. It was during one of these retreats in his 22nd year that Balkk noticed for the first time how weary Pledesin seemed, she had never fully recovered from the events of Nar Shaddaa, but she seemed now older than ever.

Trial of Skill

Returning to the Temple with this revelation Balkk didn't have time to confront his master over it, they had been given another mission. Rumours of a Dark Jedi who had taken over a medical station in the Mid Rim had reached the council, Master Pledesin and Padawan Balkk were to investigate the rumours and if true to bring the Force user back to the Temple. They set out at once, the journey did not take long, as they prepared to dock Master Pledesin turned to her apprentice,

"There is indeed a Dark Jedi here padawan, be very careful you have never truly faced another who could use the Force, it is a difficult and trying thing. Remember the Code and your training, and follow my lead." Balkk nodded his understanding and agreement, and the two of them made for the docking ring linking the shuttle to the station.

The station was gloomy, and completely silent. There should have been nearly 100 researchers and doctors on board working on cures to various ailments, but there was nothing but silence. Eventually as they made their way through more of the station the two Jedi found bodies lying collapsed on the ground, saber wounds covering them. "No one sssurvived massster..." Balkk listened intently and felt out in the Force, "The Dark Jedi did padawan, be ready." Balkk hissed and nodded.

They reached the central lifts of the station, Master Pledesin knelt and reached out in the Force to find the Dark Jedi, meanwhile Balkk ignited his blade and stood guard. It was just a moment before his master stood, "He is in the labs." Balkk's lightsaber hissed as it sheathed and the two Jedi entered the lifts. The lift zoomed the length of the station and arrived at the entrance to the labs, Balkk and Pledesin could just make out a figure down very end of the hall. Walking slowly towards it, "Massster, is familiar..." Balkk couldn't quite make it out, but something about that figure seemed very familiar.

They had gone halfway when the figure spoke out and recognition instantly flooded Balkk's mind, "Have you forgotten your friend so quickly Balkk?" The figure looked up and the hood fell away, Balkk was aghast, "Jae!? But..." He was lost for words, and instead his hand groped the air for meaning. "But? How could I? Easily, my master wanted to recommend me for the service corps because I was weak, because I didn't understand the Code he said! I couldn't let that happen, so I poisoned him." What could Balkk say? He was dumbfounded and just let Jae tell his story, "I had to refuel and resupply here before making for the Sith Empire... But these scientists weren't helpful." The Sallustan smiled, it was a twisted one which took no joy even in itself. "Jae, come back with ussss, we can help you, heal you." Balkk's eyes and features implored his old friend, Jae just laughed, "They'd never take me back now, and I won't let you." His green lightsaber hissed into life, and Balkk's & Pledesin's similarly answered, "You will come with us padawan." Jae growled and lunged forward.

He had given himself over completely to the Darkness Balkk had never suspected lurked within him. The Sallustan employed Niman, which suited his powerful Force abilities, Balkk and Pledesin parried blows and objects hurled at them. Balkk employed his Soresu expertly and Pledesin's Shii-Cho flowed as fast and freely as water, but Jae full of rage and fear was more than a match for the Jedi Master and her padawan. He pushed Balkk back with the Force, the Trandoshan found himself down the other end of the hallway. He stood and quickly ran, he sensed something, but he was too late another Force push unbalanced Pledesin and Jae sliced her from groin to chin. His master collapsed lifeless, Balkk felt it in the Force like a wave that made him stagger back. He hissed loudly and roared enough to shock even Jae in his daze of power.

Balkk speed down the hall, his lightsaber hissed and hummed as he parried each blow of Jae's vicious strikes. He straddled his master's body and from that position no Force ability or lightsaber blow could move him. Balkk towered over the Sallustan, his head touching the ceiling, blue and green saber crashed and clashed. "Come with me! We could be aristocrats, we could rule!" Jae implored his friend between breaths. Balkk could sense that he was tiring, while he hadn't even broken a sweat, his moment would be soon. Finally Jae's arm tired and his strikes became even sloppier, his fear and rage replaced with exhaustion, and in this moment Balkk struck. His blue blade turning Jae's and with a single stroke severed the Sallustan's hand from the wrist. Jae screamed and fell clutching the stump, Balkk's blade hovered next to his old friend's neck. Between sobs, and pained breaths, Jae spat out, "Just kill me, please Balkk, I...I can't, just do it for Boma."

Balkk's blade hovered and he seemed unsure, inside he was conflicted, looking from Jae to his master's corpse only confounded him more. Finally after many minutes the lightsaber hissed as it was sheathed, and Balkk reached for some cuffs from his belt and shackled Jae's legs. "You will come with me." He watched him closely as he shuffled his old friend towards the lift and then into the shuttle's holding cell. With great sadness he returned to the hallway and closing his master's eyes as he lifted her up and carried her back. Laying her corpse on a bed, he then returned to Jae and silently tended to his wound, Jae sobbed and apologised but Balkk said nothing. The shuttle left the station, and Balkk watched the stars smear across the cockpit and hyperspace surround them. Closing his eyes he meditated.

Knighting

He recounted the events on the station the High Council, they offered their sincere sympathy, Master Pledesin had been a great and beloved Jedi who had exemplified the very best of the Order. Balkk nodded solemnly, "I will honour her memory for the ressst of my daysss." The collected masters nodded, they all recalled the passing of their master even when peaceful it was a changing moment for a Jedi.

Balkk was told to head to the heart of the Tranquillity Spire of the Temple and meditate, he had passed all his trials, tomorrow he would be knighted as a member of the Jedi Order. The moment was not as joyous as the young Balkk had envisioned, not two years ago he imagined his master standing next to him at this exact moment. But he reminded himself as he walked away from the council meeting that she was, there is no death there is only the Force. And that thought calmed and soothed him. He ate his last meal as a padawan, and then set out for the spire. He spent the night in silent meditation, he disassembled and assembled his lightsaber as was his wont during meditations. He was visited by no premonitions or deep insights, such was not his way, but he was calmed and felt the honour and purpose that being a Jedi gave him. Each time he touched the Lorrdian crystal of his saber with the Force he could sense faint images of his master, it inspired him and calmed him. He would live up to her teaching, he would become the very image of the Jedi as champions of the oppressed and wronged.

Morning came quicker than expected, and he was collected and lead towards the Hall of Knighthood. Entering the dark room, he knelt in the centre of the room, and one by one all around him a rainbow of lightsabers ignited. The Grand Master stepped forth, and hovering their lightsaber over his right and then left shoulder, spoke "Padawan Sish Balkk, by the right of the Council, by the will of the Force I dub thee Jedi Knight of the Republic." Balkk stood, bowed and exited the room in silence as ceremony dictated, he was now a Jedi Knight.

For the next few months he remained at the Temple under the careful watch of the Masters, for the loss of Pledesin had obviously weighed heavily upon the Trandoshan. He used the time to calm his frayed nerves, to meditate, and to continue practicing his Soresu with the Temple battlemasters. As the new year approached he was summoned before the High Council, there he was told that he was to be the Jedi Watchman for Trandosha. It seemed, to the Council, appropriate that a Trandoshan Jedi watched over the planet and saw to its safety. Balkk was genuinely excited at the prospect, remembering his late master's suggestion and the joy he had known during their brief visit.

He packed his few items and left that very day.

Jedi Watchman for Trandosha

For the next decade Balkk was to become synonymous with Trandosha, whenever a message from the planet was needing to be sent to the Senate or any official organisation the Elders entrusted Balkk to communicate it. Though he based himself out of the capital, in a sparse apartment consisting of just a simple bed cot and table for meals, donated by the Elders of the city, he was a frequent sight all across the planet.

From small disputes about property, to murder, to adoption, to future careers, Balkk was sought out to advise on all. Of course such high esteem he did not win over night, indeed it took him longer than most especially as a Trandoshan who had never been raised in the culture. For the first 5 years of his time on the planet he was spending most of his time recalling and improving his childhood Dosh; once he had again mastered his native tongue he began to intensely study the culture which had he not been a Jedi would have been his. He found himself fascinated by it, it was harsh at times, but like the desert that harshness had a stark beauty. He saw places where it coincided with the Jedi Code, his own belief of the Jedi as warriors and champions seemed to instinctively fit with the religion of the Scorekeeper.

He had listened to numerous versions of the faith of the Scorekeeper, as with any religion there were multiple interpretations (even among the Jedi there were multiple interpretations of the Code, and of the nature of the Force, among many other things). The idea of points having to be honourably earned, that simply killing indiscriminately did not please the Scorekeeper, but that engaging in great battles with powerful foes that threatened others did. This notion of the faith Balkk could see much in, and began to adopt it himself. 

Through this exceptionally slow process of immersion and study he began to earn his people's respect. They eventually saw his silence not as an insult, but his nature. And slowly his justice was seen for what it was, true impartial justice. It had taken him nearly the whole decade to earn this esteem, but now that it was there, there was little chance of it being diminished.

Esteem and respect was something entirely new to Balkk, always the outsider, always looked askance at, never trusted except by his master and fellow Jedi, to find that a whole planet wouldn't wince when he smiled and listened when he spoke... it was something else entirely. This treatment made him all the more determined to show the galaxy that the Trandoshans deserved respect, that they weren't thugs, that they were no less and no more than any other species.

Despite it all he had no desire to remain on the planet forever, it would be akin to retreating into seclusion and contemplation - a path Balkk loathed. So after a decade he signalled the Temple and informed them that he would like to be assigned another task, the Council agreed and recalled him. During his entire stay on Trandosha he had never sought out his parents, he had not been forbidden to, but it seemed to him unfair on them. He could barely recall them, Master Plenesid had been as close to a parent as was possible for a Jedi, and he was sure that his biological parents would be sad that their child did not long for their embrace or affection. And he didn't, he was happy with his lot in life, to be a Jedi Knight of the Galactic Republic was more than anyone could ever dream of he thought as he stepped onto the shuttle.

Jedi Guardian tasked to the Council of Reconciliation

His next task was one he was more accustomed to, for once more he found himself assigned to the Council of Reconciliation as he had been when he was a padawan with his master. Indeed many of the faces of the Council were familiar and were glad to have him back. Balkk soon found himself dispatched to all corners of the Republic, and occasionally beyond on diplomatic and ambassadorial matters. He was seen as being the perfect Jedi to send to tense situations prone to violence, and his experiences on Nar Shaddaa also had earned him a reputation among the Cartel which made him a choice Jedi to send to Cartel space (of course the Cartel had disavowed any involvement in the kidnap and torture of two Jedi, and the death of a third, they had sent the bodies all involved to the Temple as a sign of good faith. The Jedi Order believed them, greedy the Hutts may be, but stupid they were not).

The assignment also offered him further chances to study and practice with the battlemasters of the Temple, they offered to train him in further styles as they saw potential for him in them, but Balkk would always reply "My massster warned me to study only the third form, Ssssoresu. So I ssshall." Indeed over the coming years the battlemasters could teach him no more, instead only offering the Trandoshan sparring partners that at least matched him. In Soresu there was no other Jedi as singularly excellent in the form, younglings would come and watch eagerly sparring matches between the giant Trandoshan and the battlemasters. They were exciting and hair-raising fights, ooohs and ahhhs were common among the crowd. Balkk for his part never seemed to notice.

When not at the temple or out on a mission he had taken to retreating to Ilum for a few days of meditation. There he would centre himself, and the few days a year he spent on the planet always left him feeling refreshed and more at peace.

His missions for the most part were mundane, the ones that did turn violent usually only involved thugs at worst and bounty hunters at best, nothing Balkk could not handle. The only mission of note involved Balkk chasing down a Force sensitive murderer, though untrained in the Force the girl was scared and desperate which lent something strength. Ultimately though a good wallop on the head knocked her unconscious and Balkk slung her over his shoulder and lugged her back to a prison.

During this time Balkk never missed a single apprentice tournament, for he had realised that should he die not only would his teachings become nothing, but more over Master Plenesid's would too. She had made no holocron, and had taken only Balkk as a padawan, he believe it his duty to ensure her wisdom was passed on. The High Council had never assigned him one as they believed that during combat he walked too closely to the Dark side. They never doubted him, but they doubted the ability of a young padawan to be able so wisely hold back their worst nature when combat. Despite not assigning him a padawan the council would not have opposed him taking one, Balkk was certain of this. So each year he went to the tournament and watched.

Each year he left without having taken a padawan, not because he saw none that he could aid or teach. But because whenever the younglings' eyes would pass over him he could sense them become slightly afraid, and almost wish for another master. He did not hold it against them, they were young, so very young and knew so little. But he wished to take a padawan that did not recoil, like his master had never recoiled before him. So each year he came and left.

For eight years he served the Council of Reconciliation, in many capacities, before he was once again called in front of the High Council.

Jedi Watchman for the Kashyyyk System

The 41 year old Trandoshan loomed in the centre of the room as he listened to the High Council, his extraordinary service to the Republic and the Order was needed. The Senator for the Kashyyyk system, a Wookiee called Chewarra, had asked for a Jedi to help oversee, protect, and advise the system and him. The Council could think of no finer Jedi, and no Jedi with more cause to perform admirably, than Balkk. His service to the Council of Reconciliation both as a padawan and as a knight had been exemplary. He had often diffused tense situations, overcoming preconceptions not only that both parties had of each other, but that the parties involved had of him. Patient but not turgid, Balkk could be relied upon to listen to all sides and yet not allow negotiations to stagnate. The situation called for just that approach, a Jedi with proven diplomatic ability and who would not allow the negotiation process to stagnate amid competing and divergent interests.


Balkk informed the Council that he would set to work immediately, and he did. Not even heading to his quarters Balkk left the Temple and made for the Senate tower where Chewarra's offices were.

Their first meeting was a tensely polite affair, neither wanting to give offence, but Chewarra clearly unhappy with the Jedi's choice of Watchman. Balkk said very little, fortunately the Senator had plenty to say. The Trandoshans, he was told, were unhappy that Senator for the system was always a Wookiee. The Wookiees meanwhile were unwilling to make any concessions to the Trandoshans. All in all the system was poised atop a powder keg, which Balkk politely nodded at when the Senator said it threatened to destroy not just the system but his career. Politicians had a habit of conflating the future of their careers with the future of their species, but despite this Balkk could see that work had to be done.

So in typical fashion he set to the task, not really bothering with keeping the Senator abreast of things except when an exasperated and untranslated holocall reached him. Balkk would spend his time over the next decade on either Trandosha or Kashyyyk, on the one calling on old friendships and on the other proving himself. It took the entire 10 years for the quiet and rather difficult Jedi to earn the trust of the Wookiees of Kashyyyk, it took him providing fair decisions, defending villages from raids or natural disasters, to braving the wilds of the planet, before at the end of 10 long years Balkk became the first of his species to be welcome on Kashyyyk. The very first Trandoshan whose sight did not prompt an armed response.

The solution that he had devised was a simple one, as befitted him, but one which required much trust from all involved. It was this that took him so long, for Balkk was not one of those charismatic Jedi, one who could walk into a room and expect to be obeyed simply by virtue of some nebulous quality of leadership. Balkk talked too little, acted too much, and was too solitary to ever command respect that way. He had to prove himself, slowly, ever so slowly. But his solution was accepted: there would be two Senators, one from Kashyyyk and one from Trandosha, and they would alternate which was senior each term.

He stayed on for another year watching over the system, and assisting the first lot of Senators from Kashyyyk and Trandosha. He was proud of his work, only time would tell if his solution held, but for now there was new promise in the system. Also the Trandoshans now had another chance to prove themselves valuable and respectable members of the Republic.

Jedi Guardian tasked to the Council of Reconciliation

As he returned to the Temple once more answering a summons the High Council debated whether Balkk should be made a master. He was exceptionally talented with the lightsaber, indeed none surpassed him in his chosen style, though he did not plumb the depths of the Force he understood and lived by the Code - even if he did see the Jedi as being more warrior than scholar, which may be unwise - he had proven himself against Dark Jedi on several occasions, he had won the respect of a species which historically had an almost genocidal view of his species. In spite of all this the Council still worried, some of his thinking were exceptionally unorthodox, and in combat (even training sessions) they could sense that he walked very close to the edge and that may be only his style that held him back from falling. No to make him a master was not right yet, so once again they assigned him to the Council of Reconciliation.

Balkk was present for these deliberations, and was honoured by the masters' lauding of his career in the Order so far. But once again it was feelings during combat that worried them, oh they knew that outside of combat Balkk was as commited to the Light side as any Jedi, and stood about as much chance of falling. But in combat, even in training there was a hint of it, his emotions came to the fore. They poured into his blade, into his movements, they made him deadly and dangerous... and not only to others. It was only his insistence on using just Soresu in combat that prevented the feelings during combat to dominate him. They still hoped that with more experience, the calm that pervaded his life outside combat would slowly move into his combat too. Balkk for his part said that he wished so too, but that he doubted it. He was a Trandoshan, and the thrill of battle may be too much for him to ever entirely overcome.

Balkk was not insulted by being denied the title of master, he understood their reasoning and accepted its wisdom. Besides he could continue to serve the Order and the Republic just as well as a Knight as he could as a Master, so there was no need to be concerned.

More and more of his missions during the coming year sought to sure up the Republic's position in the face of the Sith Empire's advance. Even he was shocked though when the Supreme Chancellor was assassinated, followed by the news that the Mandalorians had a new Mandalore and looked set to reclaim their ancient mantle. It was unmistakable, total galaxy wide war was about to breakout, you didn't need the Force to see it. On his missions to remote planets or stations he saw families, whole towns and cities, scrambling to flee the frontlines that did not yet exist. He helped who he could, even taking some people on his shuttle back to Coruscant when he could.

Then came the victories of the Sith Order on Yaga Minor, and against the Jedi Order itself on Rhen Var. Almost the entire outer rim had fallen, the way lay open to the Sith and their tentative Mandalorian allies to push into the mid rim. Balkk had not fought in any engagement of the war, he continued to obey the Jedi High Council, even if he believed avoiding the war was a contradiction of the Jedi Code. He continued to serve the Council of Reconciliation, flying from one end of the Republic to another, and from one end to the other the question was always the same; where are the Jedi?

The question seemed to be answered when Republic forces led by a Jedi stopped and killed Mandalore the Liberator. But even this was not enough to stop those implacable warriors, Mandalore the Reclaimer rose, and the pressed harder than ever. Balkk retreated to Ilum as a new year dawned, taking a moment between his missions to contemplate and meditate. He asked of no one in particular during it, "What am I to do? Everywhere I look I ssssee darkness, and every attempt to stem the tide failsss." A familiar voice echoed in the room, or was it in his head, Balkk could not tell.

"Even in the darkest night the light never wholly abandons his rule. It is diffused and subtle, but little as may remain, the retina of the eye is sensible of it. There is never true darkness, and never night without the dawn. Remember that there is no death, no life, there is only the Force my padawan."

Balkk opened his eyes with a start, they were damp, over thirty years later after he had seen so much still his master gave him lessons and wisdom. The Trandoshan stood, he looked more comfortably, more alive and at peace than when he had entered the temple two days earlier. He would return to Coruscant now.

RP Sample:
Balkk's shuttle touched down in one of the Jedi Temple's hangar bays, a gentle hiss as the hydraulic landing gears took the weight of the shuttle. Rising from the pilot's seat Balkk collected the solitary satchel that held all his belongings, and exited the shuttle. With a nod towards the Service Corp members which now attended to the Order's ship Balkk walked slowly off into one of the halls leading away from the hangars.

A towering solitary figure Balkk's clawed feet clacked along the floor as he walked, the one or two groups of Jedi he met along his way bowed respectfully and he returned the gesture before continuing on. He wanted to leave his bag in his quarters, and then take a walk in the gardens and meditate for a while before reporting to the Council of Reconciliation.

He found the youngling whose responsibility was to oversee the allocation of quarters, and was soon lead to the simple room. He thanked the Togruta youngling, and then bending to enter through the doorway placed his satchel on the stand next to the bed. Balkk always requested a small single bed room, there were larger rooms available of course - but Balkk reasoned these were for those Jedi who need room to meditate in them or to spread out various tomes of study. Balkk simply slept and consumed his meals in the room, he had no need for anything beyond a bed and small table.

Balkk turned on his heel and left for the gardens, he did not bother to close the door, there was no need. As he walked towards the gardens he passed some younglings practicing their Shii-Cho, a smile formed as he saw their clumsy but faithful attempts at the form. Several noticed the giant Trandoshan smiling, one even waved, Balkk bowed deeply and then with a flick of his indicated for the student to heed his master. He walked on, the Temple was so alive, to him it was like returning home. Everything was familiar, faces may change, but the building and the nature of the thing that never changed.

He eventually found himself in one of the Temple's gardens, it was one of the smaller ones, and it was deserted. Balkk secluded himself on one of the warm boulders, pulling out his lightsaber and laying it in front of him as he knelt, and closed his eyes. The world around him faded away, replaced with the Force, he reached out and slowly began to disassemble his hilt once more. It was his routine, his blade and body was the focus of his connection to the Force. It would be dark before Balkk had reassembled his blade, and rose to bathe and then meet the council. 

[Thaddeus]

All done at 13,564 words I am so very sorry for whoever has to review this.

[Pembleton]

---

Appearance: Noice

Personality: Oh yeah

Lightsaber: I believe that there may be an issue with the Lorrdian gemstone, as it affects the saber beyond the color, which is against the rules.

Saber Forms: Makes sense to me, man. Quality over quantity.

Force Abilities: Center of Being is not a thing I really know about, but I don’t think I see it on the Force Powers list? And I'm not sure where it is in the bio, if maybe I skipped it somehow? The Wookiee on it seems a little...underdeveloped. It reads as more of a lightsaber stance than a Force ability. Just wondering if you and/or mods know more about it than I do.

Force Stats: Cool, makes sense to me, you could go higher if you wanted, but your bio certainly justifies these.

Stats: Speed seems like it might be a little low, in my opinion. I'm also not sure about any unarmed or ranged training in the bio, and I believe melee weapons training is not mentioned further than in the very beginning. Also, for sake of clarity, can you go through and change your stats format so they're single numbers instead of "x/10" or "x/5"? It's much easier to read that way.

Bio Notes:

You give out a list of names of his youngling group that’s pretty detailed…Basically, my thinking on this is that I hope I don’t have to know all of them to understand the bio, and if they’re not necessary, then don’t waste the space. Detail is good, microscope detail just looks cluttered. Introduce the characters you'll actually use (looks like Tarfful and Jae), and feel free to skip the others.
 
I'm thinking youngling age/6 years old might be a little young for starting sword training. It might fit a little better as a one-on-one exercise he does with his master, or on his own once he's selected as a Padawan.

Just as a general note, your bio has a lot of dialogue in it. We generally try to keep it to statements of fact, rather than actually writing out the whole scenes in detail.

“At night they would help each other, though Balkk and Tarfful would never help each other.”
^This statement is just a little vague, can you explain exactly what they were working on?

Dunno about a general melee in Youngling tournaments. If they do it, I dunno about Balkk knocking another kid out during it…Contrary to popular portrayal in film and tv, being forcibly KNOCKED unconscious can be a seriously bad thing, cause brain damage, etc, and it's kind of a brutal thing to do to somebody. :-P

You've described Tarfful as being at least stable enough to be approved for selection as a Padawan, but this outburst during the tournament makes me wonder why the masters didn't sense how intensely he disliked Balkk and how serious their rivalry was, and if they did, why they advanced him anyways, since he's clearly not handling those emotions very well.

You mention that Pledesin has mastered Shii-Cho. In fact, every Jedi beyond the rank of Knight has *technically* mastered Shii-Cho, so perhaps be more specific in noting that she chose to use Shii-Cho to the exclusion of other styles.

Pledesin calls him the only Trandoshan ever to be a Jedi. I think we’re gonna make the assumption that, even though the examples on Wookieepedia are from after our time period, there have in fact been some before him. Remember, Trandosha has in fact been part of the Republic for awhile, and while Force Sensitives are rare there, on a long enough timeline, it has to have happened at some point.

Your first name-drop of Force Body is not what I interpret as Force Body per se – the way I read it, Force Body is like the extreme version of the effects of training your Body stat. It’s going beyond the limits of what is safe to do with a sentient body, not just enhancing to a degree – allowing the Force to flow so freely through one’s body that it can withstand devastating trauma, self-inflicted or otherwise. His use of the Force under torture later in the bio is more consistent with what I would call Force Body.

Running a lightsaber completely through somebody will leave a great big hole in them with cauterized edges. I do not know how realistically he can survive this, even with Force Body.

You describe dealing with the Senate as being more bureaucratic than his other jobs. Is he not a diplomat/ambassador('s apprentice)? Seems like you'd run into a little red tape now and again in those capacities. 

*Would* Jae be more than a match for them? I do understand you’ve been describing Pledesin as getting weaker, but you’ve just said that he’s not even a good enough Padawan to be promoted to Knighthood, that they’re going to drop him to the Corps. Does being angry and scared equate to an below-average Jedi Padawan being able to take on an exceptional Jedi Padawan and his master?

Point of order – If Pledesin was sliced from groin to forehead, closing her eyes might not be the dignified gesture you’d imagine. I'm picturing a large cauterized furrow instead of a face at that point. >.>

Does Jedi philosophy really mesh with the religion of the Scorekeeper? IIRC, she’s all about “kill as many things as you possibly can, you beautiful disasters.” Can you explain exactly how he reconciles them?

He never seeks out his parents because he’s scared of disappointing them, but he’s all over the planet and extremely well-known…Wouldn’t they hear his name and know he didn’t come to see them? Just a bit of fridge logic.

“Nar Shade” is referenced instead of "Nar Shaddaa" in the first Jedi Guardian section.

The cartel denies involvement with the kidnap and murder of Jedi, and the Jedi believe them, but you said the pair who got kidnapped were confronted by Cartel soldiers? I'm just sort of confused by this. Maybe I'm missing something.

I shy away from descriptors like “the best” in regards to his saber skills…He can be good, but can he really be the best? This is just a matter of realism and fairness - not everybody can be the best, and allowing someone to be opens the floodgates for everyone else to try, and then we have a galaxy full of Starkillers pulling capital ships out of space and eating planets and whatnot.

I count two canon Wookiee names. May check to verify that these are common ones, just cause having too many might get a lil silly.

I don’t know what needs to happen for a character to be influencing legislation/systems of government in a timeline before site canon...Mods will have to comment, cause that’s not a well-developed area of canon, to my knowledge.

And finally, go ahead and read through your bio aloud (consider it my revenge for having to review it ) and check for flow/convention errors. Just a nice thorough proofread will really add a bit of shine.

[Thaddeus]

Firstly massive thanks for reviewing this behemoth Pembleton, I really do sympathise.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Lightsaber: I believe that there may be an issue with the Lorrdian gemstone, as it affects the saber beyond the color, which is against the rules.

I would really like to use the gemstone, as it is a sign of his attachment to his master. Would it be possible to keep the gemstone if I fully and completely acknowledge it doesn't modify the blade in the way according to the wiki? If not I will change it of course, I just like the sensitive side of Balkk here

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Force Abilities: Center of Being is not a thing I really know about, but I don’t think I see it on the Force Powers list? And I'm not sure where it is in the bio, if maybe I skipped it somehow? The Wookiee on it seems a little...underdeveloped. It reads as more of a lightsaber stance than a Force ability. Just wondering if you and/or mods know more about it than I do.

Here is the wiki link for it: starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Center_of_Being There are a couple of times that Balkk uses it in the bio, you can recognise it by when he adopts the tell-tale stance of the lightsaber horizontally below the chin.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Stats: Speed seems like it might be a little low, in my opinion. I'm also not sure about any unarmed or ranged training in the bio, and I believe melee weapons training is not mentioned further than in the very beginning. Also, for sake of clarity, can you go through and change your stats format so they're single numbers instead of "x/10" or "x/5"? It's much easier to read that way.

Thanks have modified the speed, ranged and unarmed training stats, and his practice with the Trandoshan sword is mentioned a couple of times, and is mentioned as being ongoing alongside his saber training.

I used the "x/10" & "x/5" style as I thought it might be confusing for someone quickly glancing at the bio to see two different classifications that were not visibly distinct (i.e. they would assume an out of ten system for both). But have changed it to be to standard.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

You give out a list of names of his youngling group that’s pretty detailed…Basically, my thinking on this is that I hope I don’t have to know all of them to understand the bio, and if they’re not necessary, then don’t waste the space. Detail is good, microscope detail just looks cluttered. Introduce the characters you'll actually use (looks like Tarfful and Jae), and feel free to skip the others.

I do plan on using them as NPCs down the track, hence my introducing them now. Seemed less jarring to me by having them in the bio, rather than saying 'oh btw this NPC was one of the unnamed people from his clan.'

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

I'm thinking youngling age/6 years old might be a little young for starting sword training. It might fit a little better as a one-on-one exercise he does with his master, or on his own once he's selected as a Padawan.

For this I was sort extending the fact that younglings receive martial training, yes I know saber combat doesn't have much resemblance to the melee combat of course. But if they are beginning then to learn the basic of saber combat it doesn't seem beyond a youngling to begin at least the basic of melee combat. There are fencing groups for 4 years old in my town, and those kids look deadly. XD

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

“At night they would help each other, though Balkk and Tarfful would never help each other.”
^This statement is just a little vague, can you explain exactly what they were working on?

Meditations, study of history, mathematics, lightsaber training, anything and everything. Seeing as it functions much as a dorm in a modern boarding school does the members of a youngling clan would (and according to the wiki did) help each other with their studies.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Dunno about a general melee in Youngling tournaments. If they do it, I dunno about Balkk knocking another kid out during it…Contrary to popular portrayal in film and tv, being forcibly KNOCKED unconscious can be a seriously bad thing, cause brain damage, etc, and it's kind of a brutal thing to do to somebody.

According to the wiki (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jedi_Temple_Apprentice_Tournament): "Pitting thirty-two apprentices against each other in a series of one-on-one lightsaber duels, each round ended when a student scored three burns on their opponent with a training lightsaber. Before each round began, all of the apprentices would gather around the dueling area while pre-selected members from different classes would face off head-to-head. The final round would consist of the upper class as a group, fighting to the last man standing." Also in one instance an initiate was defeated with a broken leg, and this wasn't treated as extraordinary. So I sort of extrapolated from that.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

You've described Tarfful as being at least stable enough to be approved for selection as a Padawan, but this outburst during the tournament makes me wonder why the masters didn't sense how intensely he disliked Balkk and how serious their rivalry was, and if they did, why they advanced him anyways, since he's clearly not handling those emotions very well.

As is noted in the previous bits of the bio they did indeed sense the strong competition running between the two of them. However they had hoped, and gave them both the benefit of the doubt, that it was just that: competition between two equally adept initiates. Even masters aren't perfect.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

You mention that Pledesin has mastered Shii-Cho. In fact, every Jedi beyond the rank of Knight has *technically* mastered Shii-Cho, so perhaps be more specific in noting that she chose to use Shii-Cho to the exclusion of other styles.

I suppose by master I mean just that, in that she did not simply "master" the basics of the form which all Jedi do before passing onto other forms, but instead studied it with great intensity and truly mastered it (not unlike Kit Fisto).

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Pledesin calls him the only Trandoshan ever to be a Jedi. I think we’re gonna make the assumption that, even though the examples on Wookieepedia are from after our time period, there have in fact been some before him. Remember, Trandosha has in fact been part of the Republic for awhile, and while Force Sensitives are rare there, on a long enough timeline, it has to have happened at some point.

Actually she says exactly this: "Though you may be the only Trandoshan..." Not a statement of absolute fact, but rather that as far as she was aware he may be the only Trandoshan Jedi ever.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Your first name-drop of Force Body is not what I interpret as Force Body per se – the way I read it, Force Body is like the extreme version of the effects of training your Body stat. It’s going beyond the limits of what is safe to do with a sentient body, not just enhancing to a degree – allowing the Force to flow so freely through one’s body that it can withstand devastating trauma, self-inflicted or otherwise. His use of the Force under torture later in the bio is more consistent with what I would call Force Body.

Oh I agree , but the enhancing of one's body surely must be the beginning of the technique. So I extrapolated that that must be where it begins, and so had his master start training him then with that. It made more sense to me than having Balkk all of a sudden during the extremes of torture pull out an exceptional Force power and be like 'oh yeah I know this, don't worry about the excruciating pain, I know this technique don't ask how.'

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Running a lightsaber completely through somebody will leave a great big hole in them with cauterized edges. I do not know how realistically he can survive this, even with Force Body.

Have edited it in to say that it was on the lowest setting, though I still would say that with Force body one could survive a full lightsaber. But given that this is his first application of the technique it is right that he not be able to withstand a full blow, so a lower setting works better. Thanks

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

You describe dealing with the Senate as being more bureaucratic than his other jobs. Is he not a diplomat/ambassador('s apprentice)? Seems like you'd run into a little red tape now and again in those capacities.

Yes, but the Senate just seemed to serve as a nice point to introduce Balkk's distaste for bureaucracy. Otherwise I would be hammering on about it throughout the bio, further while on missions one could say that the red tape seemed less obvious because of the adventure it offered Balkk.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

*Would* Jae be more than a match for them? I do understand you’ve been describing Pledesin as getting weaker, but you’ve just said that he’s not even a good enough Padawan to be promoted to Knighthood, that they’re going to drop him to the Corps. Does being angry and scared equate to an below-average Jedi Padawan being able to take on an exceptional Jedi Padawan and his master?

Short answer, yes. Jae is not getting promoted because of moral weakness, not because he is weak in his connection to the Force or a lacking in his abilities as a Jedi. But because he lacks the moral wherewithal to be a Jedi. Weakness doesn't immediately translate to physical weakness. This I thought would be obvious from the bio, but I will add in an extra line to highlight it.

Combine that with the anger and rage he calls on at the thought of being made to return in disgrace, and I would say his more than a match for an ailing master and her padawan.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Point of order – If Pledesin was sliced from groin to forehead, closing her eyes might not be the dignified gesture you’d imagine. I'm picturing a large cauterized furrow instead of a face at that point. >.>

Changed forehead to chin, as that is what I meant but was tired when writing XP

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

Does Jedi philosophy really mesh with the religion of the Scorekeeper? IIRC, she’s all about “kill as many things as you possibly can, you beautiful disasters.” Can you explain exactly how he reconciles them?

Balkk takes the view: kill as many things honourably, rather than just as many of any of them as you can. A quality over quantity approach, which he isn't alone in taking this view of the Scorekeeper. I will add into to the bio that explanation though.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

He never seeks out his parents because he’s scared of disappointing them, but he’s all over the planet and extremely well-known…Wouldn’t they hear his name and know he didn’t come to see them? Just a bit of fridge logic.

As is explained in the bio Balkk doesn't wish to meet them as he won't be able to display the affection he feels they would desire. It is then a case of the lesser of two evils, his parents can know he was on Trandosha and wonder as to why he didn't see him or they can meet him and know that he doesn't feel the same affection as they do - or so Balkk sees it. Doesn't strike me as particularly inconsistent really.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

“Nar Shade” is referenced instead of "Nar Shaddaa" in the first Jedi Guardian section.

Thank you!

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

The cartel denies involvement with the kidnap and murder of Jedi, and the Jedi believe them, but you said the pair who got kidnapped were confronted by Cartel soldiers? I'm just sort of confused by this. Maybe I'm missing something.

I called them Cartel soldiers simply as a device to avoid saying 'thugs' too often, and that ostensibly they looked and acted like them. Obviously they are not Cartel men, but rather a sadistic little bunch all on their own. I will edit it in and just call them thugs for clarity.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

I shy away from descriptors like “the best” in regards to his saber skills…He can be good, but can he really be the best? This is just a matter of realism and fairness - not everybody can be the best, and allowing someone to be opens the floodgates for everyone else to try, and then we have a galaxy full of Starkillers pulling capital ships out of space and eating planets and whatnot.

Totally get where you are coming from, and I do say among the best not exlcusively the best. However let's say Balkk is the singular best in Soresu for arguments sake, this is not an unreasonable claim as for the majority of his time in the order (55 years in total) he has trained and fought only with this style. Others may master other forms, but he studied to master only Soresu. Now given this it makes him a dangerous and imdomitable opponent, but it also makes him predictable. He cannot introduce a parry or blow from another style as he doesn't know any, say you have fought him once before if you are a good enough swordsman you will begin to recognise patterns and be able to predict him.

So I do not feel that saying he is the best or among the best in just one form is overpowering him at all. It fits with the character's nature, it isn't done just so I can say he is awesome at this, but also (and more importantly) it actually adds another weakness to him.

Jul 16, 2014 5:30:07 GMT -5 Pembleton said:

And finally, go ahead and read through your bio aloud (consider it my revenge for having to review it ) and check for flow/convention errors. Just a nice thorough proofread will really add a bit of shine.

Hahahaha XD Will do.

Once again massive thank you Pembleton

[Neology]

Hey Thadd. Listen to Pembleton, he knows what he's talking about.

Buuut, to reiterate some of Pembleton's points, here we go!

You do have to change the bit about the Lorridian gemstone. I get the reason for it, but it's the rules. I recommend finding another way to show Sish's sentimentality toward his master.

Center of Being is a stance, not a power, and the wiki page is suuuper vague. Honestly, I'd just treat it as a flavor piece in your character's Soresu mastery, not as a specialized power.

The roster doesn't really need to be there. You can introduce his former clan members as they come up, as you should expect to do for the reader anyway.

I agree with Pemble that specialized training with the chalon sword should occur later in life, or even be dropped entirely. Sish never seems to use it, or if he does, I seem to have missed it entirely.

Using Force Body to resist torture is fine, though do keep in mind that teenage Sish would likely not be able to maintain the power for long and that the destruction of internal organs would likely still kill him as soon as the power wore off. Perhaps add in a sentence or two to the clarify the extent of his injuries and the care he receives.

You do need to change the wookiee names to something non-canon.

As far as story improbabilities, it seems rather tone-deaf to me to send a trandoshan to be the Jedi Watchman for Kashyyyk, despite Sish's desires to prove himself and his species. Would you mind going into a little more detail about why the Jedi council picked Sish as the best choice for the job? For example, why sending him outweighed the diplomatic concerns.

Also, this is a purely stylistic concern, but I'm a little confused about one thing. You mention very often that Sish is “close” to the darkside, despite his very long and very successful career. Other than being angry when he fights in his youth, I'm not seeing very much evidence of that at all.

Even so, you bring this up as the reason why the council doesn't want to assign him a padawan and why they never put him up for master. Alternatively, they -are- sure enough of him to make him responsible for a planet. Twice. This is just my opinion, but that seems contradictory.

Please let me know when you've made the changes I've specified.

[Thaddeus]

Done and done

[Neology]

Thank ya much. Now get to rping!

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho 5
Makashi 0
Soresu 5
Ataru 0
Shien / Djem So 0
>>Sub-form Backhanded 0
Niman 0
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield 0
Juyo 0/5
Double Bladed Combat 0

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 5
Telepathic: 2
Body: 7
Sense: 4
Protection: 5
Healing: 4
Destruction:0

Specialized Skills:
Tapas
Force Body

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 8
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 6
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 1
Melee Weapons: 3
Ranged Weapons: 0

[Neology]

Moved to inactive.