Zett Rem

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

Name: Zett Rem
Race: Human
Age: 23
Height: 6ft
Weight: 176
Birth place: Tattoine

Appearance:Dark brown short hair and eye brows,He has not a single scar,always in shape and well built he has tan skin blue eyes. he fits in to his height.



((OOC---this is my paint work but the base for it comes from another site.))

Personality:Gets the job done, but jokes a lot,Honest, dedication to his work and friends,Known to be reliable in a pinch,Always the last to flee when it gets tough not much makes him mad Mess with his Friends will,Trying to make him mad will but not much more will do it.

Profession:Bounty Hunter

Skills: run jump pilot tech

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 6
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 5
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 4
Melee Weapons: 5
Ranged Weapons: 7

Alignment: +5

Ship Name:
n/a

Bio:

1 year before Zett was born ...

Kaleb (Zetts father) borrowed money from Hebba the hutt, who was the power on Tattoine, but he could not pay it back! He should have been a dead man, but he made a deal to pay it back, a year before he was in the republic army. He went too talk to Hebba he told him he would pay it back all the money. Hebba told Kaleb that he had five months to pay it back. When he got home, Lyla his wife asked where he went too. He told her he visited Hebbas to get a loan for their child to be.

Month after month they worked very hard to gather money. Selling anything to bring in money from books, paintings, and many other oddities but it was still not enough. When Zett was five months along the bills doubled. Again they found them selves deeper in the hole. Upon the fifth month the loan came due. Kaleb went in before Hebba, he gave him an icy cold stare. He knew that they did not have his money his informants were very where. He knew to that Lyla was with child. So he gave them a choice, either work for him as a hired gun and maid or never see the child again. Hebba knew Kaleb's response from the look upon their faces. He assigned Kaleb the task of being his hunter.

Zett Rem's Youth

age 1-to-5

Upon Zett Rem's birth his father named him after his brother. After working for Hebba they would go home. They talked about a school for Zett. Kaleb was not sure if they could afford it and the food needed to live. So they taught him them selves. Many of the early days for Zett his father was gong doing the dirty work for Hebba. Zett started to walk about the last part of his first year. This event his father saw as he came in late one night from a hunt that did not go so well.

Zett's life was not one of sadness, hardship yes but not sadness. He was smart one with a bit of a curiosity about how this worked. At two years of age he was talking in broken basic. Half of the time he could be under stood. His education continued with what ever his mother could find to teach him about and his father played hunter with him as well knowing that some day he might have to work for Hebba as well.

At three years old he was known for not being a shy boy. He talked to everyone and everything. No one was a stranger. His hunger for knowledge and adventure led him to many places with in his limited area and with in ear shot of his mother.

At four he had found a lizard during one hunt for tech parts. It got into a machine. Zett got him out without braking the machine. Zett named him spark spark after that. His father found out about his love for tech. So he started to teach him about tech at five years old. Zett was a quick study tho many things still was beyond him.

his dad was teaching Zett how to hold a gun Zett also shot things from time to time on his own.

The early years

age 6 to-10

One day when Zett Rem was taking care of spark-spark his mom told him he could play, as long as he stayed inside the palace. Zett jumped with joy as he put spark-spark away (but he forgot to close the cage). As he was walking, he met a boy named Kyle they played for a good amount of time. Soon they both had to head back to there quarters. When Zett got home he opened the door and let spark-spark out. Zett chased after the lizard until he came to a vent for which the lizard jumped up into the vent and disappeared. Zett then opened the vent and chased after it. Zett stopped at another vent to look down to see the thrown room, Hebba's. Then he chased after the lizard some more back toward the kitchen and grabbed the lizard and went back home.

When he got home his mom told him about needing food. Zett thought he could surprise he's mom and told her that he would be back later and put the lizard back. Zett went back to the vent shaft. He used the shaft so much because of the build of the palace it is faster to get around. Otherwise he would have to go all the way around the palace and it is safer to use the shaft so he is not seen with taking food from the kitchen.

He made his way to the kitchen and dropped down and grabbed some of the food and went back home. He did not now what it was called but while he was doing this, he was having more fun then he would have in any other time. Back at home he had given the food to his mom .she cooked it.

For the next year or two Zett traveled around the palace via the vent shafts. and ran across the droid repair/building room where he met a robot that agreed to teach Zett a more full range of robot building. Zett then used what his father had taught him and what the robot was as well to build mini robots.


One day later wen Zett was 8 years of age. Zett was on the farms with Kyle, they saw a jawa sand craler(thay did not know it was a sand craler it was the first time seeing one)Kyle thought Zett would run he did,but not away he ran towards it when they got there they saw a species they had not met before one in hoods they also saw droids a lot of droids,after some time of looking around Zett came right out and said these must be tusken raiders (he had seen nether tusken or jawa) one guy who was looking around jumped where Zett hunched maybe not,he smiled. then Kyle said these might be jawas they sell droids and parts. Zett had some money and bot the inside of a astromech or what was left of it. and used what he had learned of mechinacal from the repair droid and his father to fix up the droid.

It took quite a bit of time but between the repair droid his father and him buying parts from jawas he had most of the droid repaired in two years.
he also learned to under stand jawa as well.
he went back to the kitchen for food and via air vent but this time it did not go as planned there was a kid cook a she. and she made him promise to free her he agreed to do so.
they became Friends as well and Zett promised to free both of his Friends some day.

Kashyyyk

11 - 15

Zett was on the jawa sand crawler and just barely had the money to buy a protocol droid again only what was left. but wen Zett got back his dad told hem to say good bye to his Friends Hebba was moving them to kashyyyk for Kalebs work.
Zett wondered why Hebba would send us to kashyyyk a fairly remote planet with a rather big population.(Zett new what wookies where)he told his Friends he was leaving and told them he would not forget about freeing them. that day Zett packed hes things and they left for kashyyyk. a gurd was sent to kashyyyk with thim to make hebba fill better about sending them away.Hebba also keepet Lyla.


When they got to kashyyyk the first thing Zett noted was the pockets of water through out the planet
he had never seen a planet from space before today nor a planet with water before,
only in books.
the next thing Zett noted was the trees lots and lots of trees
Zett new that life was going to be a lot better and it was,
it was from the first day forward.

One day at the age of 12 they got to kashyyyk Zett was invited on a hunt a wookie friend of his invited him. the wookie was much older then Zett (the wookie was expelled from the order of the Jedi but Zett did not know)Zett grabbed his Wester 27s and belt but things ware going to git harder very soon.
the wookie started to go in a different way then the hunting party. Zett was not a member of the team he had to follow the wookie his dad told hem to.
But this mistake is why things got harder on hem he saw the wookie run into a cave Zett pulled his guns and a light.
he followed the wookie he saw a stealthy figure siting on the ground. The figure stood up and pulled a light saber a red one the wookie took one as well a blue inter and green glow. Zett new what what a light saber was .Zett saw the two of them fight.a dark Jedi he new it as well. the wookie was stabbed in the chest and then he saw that the figure was a cat-men Zett ran for the door shooting of shots at the dark Jedi but each shot was returned to Zett.

Zett made it out rolled on the floor and shot at rocks and started a rock slide to trap the dark Jedi it worked but Zett new that a force sensitive human was able to move things with the force so he made it back home but the wookie council did not believe that Zett was telling the troth thet a dark Jedi attacked the wookie and Zett so the wookies expelled Zett to the jungle.(the wookies thout Zett was the one thet killed the wookie)
Zetts father new that Zett was telling the truth but the council did not listen.

Zett was sent to the jungle with a weeks worth of food and extra equipment. Zett used what he learned of survival from his dad made a enough food to survive out in the jungle.
he was able to start a fire using his pistols he made weapons and hunted birds mynoks from time to time,
but that was a very rare treat berrys fruits he learned to make rope and lived in the jungle for fore years and each day he made a list of what to do. he started to get to in joy his life in the kashyyyk jungle that he lived in.

The influence of Marcus Foxworth

16 - 21

One day when Zett was 16 he got up to the noise of a ship landing near the spot he was at. Zett went to see what it was a bounty hunter hired to find Zett.(by Hebba the hutt hired him but Marcus was not going to take Zett to Hebba)
Zett pulled out hes pistols but the hunter did not.

The hunter told Zett his name Marcus Foxworth.
in which he told Zett that he was sent because a attack
was about to take place on kashyyyk and that his father whas at.
sent him to pick him up and.... he was interrupted by the
sound of ships flying towards the place that Zett was going that his father whas at .( the reson the town was under attack is becuse Hebba whaned the Rem famly back on tatooine but the wooikes did not)Zett started to run after them Marcus followed. they made it but as Zett got to the house that his father whas at he saw two droids make it out of the house the droids Zett started on so long ago. the black astro-mech that he started first and the green protocol-droid that he barley got to work on. where finished.

He smiled the droids new hem but as they made it out he saw his fater almost make it out but a bomber came over head and bombed the home(Hebba did not no it whas the Rems house)
Zett yelled he looked at the droids they where now the only thing left of his parents.
Zett started to shoot at what looked like a small group the symbol on the shoulder gave it away. Zett turned to see a troop running toward him but he stopped was pulled backwards
and pulled into a tree to ware Zett was not able to see hem any more two more were pulled into the same tree a forth one was pulled into the tree Zett asked Marcus but he just told hem to keep it up.one of them fell out Marcus looked at the tree and nodded.
Zett started shooting again.

After the battle was over Zett was asked to join Marcus Zett had nothing to do now that his parents where gone so Marcus said yes.(Marcus needed a replacement for a bounty hunter)
it was not that long before they where fulled and ready to go and they did.

For the next 3 years Marcus was teaching Zett in many fighting ways.

Zett noted that Marcus would set the table with a third plate but there would always be a sound and then the third plate would be gone.

Zett often wondered about the three that were killed by the tree.
and often felt like some one else was in the room and new there was.

Once when Zett was 19 Marcus took Zett to mandolora
he told Zett to do a small job for a friend of his and Zett would get a mandolorin suit the task for Zett to carry out kill a thief that comes in night after night.(the mando armor was a pice that a man owed to Marcus to to pay a debt)

That night Zett Had set so many traps he did not no where they where himself. the thief did come but he maneged to get past all of them he him self had a mando suit with a jet pack.Zett saw him and shot at him with a net Zett hit the thief came and he whenrt down and crashed and Zett gave chase.

Zett made it too the thief and a fight started.
the man tried to jet away but the pack was burnt out.
the fight continued Zett started to shot so did the thief.
the thief shot a rocket Zett dropped and rolled out of the way.
the thief ran. Zett stopped himself and shot repetively.
he hit the thief but the thief still ran on.
Zett ran after him and stop him.

The job is for dead.

The thief attacked Zett that is what Zett wanted Zett was not a murderer Zett then shot.

Zett pulled the body to the mando how wanted him he gave Zett the mando armor(which also had the mando cuter on right arm and jet pack has rockets he has a pouch that held his 5 razor droids and 1 extra rocket) and a good amount of credits.


Zett modified the armor with orange paint for the shoulders
and knees also the T on the helm.

For the next two years Zett was learning the controls on the suit and jet pack he also built razor droids they are not heat seekers but remote controlled.

Marcus took Zett to Nar Shadda at the age of 21 this was where Zett and Marcus would part there ways. Marcus died
that day Zett was alone now all but the two droids.

Password: Vornskr
RP Sample:
Zett checked on what he had the two droids the razor droids only five would fit he had more but they where stolen along with the rest of the ship that Marcus used to own
he also took a few thermo dets.

Zett then after the loss of his mentor and frend got a ticket for a ship leaving nar shada

Zett did not know who took the things.
but after he got a ship he would try to find out.

He also had his Wester 27s and armor with jet pack.

He loaded his few things that he owned onto the ship.

He was done hear.

[Foxfire]

here is the needed frame work K.

[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Race:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Height:[/b]
[b]Weight:[/b]
[b]Birth place:[/b]

[b]Appearance:[/b]

[b]Personality:[/b]

[b]Profession:[/b]

[b]Skills:[/b]

[b]Attributes: [/b]

[b]Physical Strength:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Intelligence: [/b]1 - 10
[b]Speed: [/b]1 – 10
[b]Leadership: [/b]1 - 10

[b]Unarmed: [/b]1 - 10
[b]Melee Weapons:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Ranged Weapons:[/b] 1 – 10

[b]Alignment:[/b]

[b]Ship Name:[/b]

[b]Bio:[/b]

[b]RP Sample:[/b]


[Charlie Sharper]

Hi, I'm Charlie, welcome to the site, I'm a little new to checking applications, so bare with me. First of all, I wanted pointing out that ship applications go in the Starship board, and not in your bio, you can click right here for that board. That said, you should really go through and spell check your bio so it will be easier to read, also try to avoid using dialog in your bio, so you might want to take that out of your app. Well, good luck getting accepted and hope to see you around the site.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

read this: swrponline2.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=comebeapartofthefringe&action=display&thread=4335 use the links in it, and add what is required from it.

your ship must be an application (and accepted) in the tech section and linked here with the name only.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

please put full line spaces between your paragraphs, it makes it easier to read without accidentally skipping lines. thanks

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

Appearance: acceptable, but the bare minimum. Next time (or this time) try adding more description. A person can’t get a good idea of what he looks like from what you’ve given. What color hair? Eyes? Tan? Pale? Facial hair? What about armor? What clothing does he wear? Scars? Tattoos? Does he look young? Old? Does he look tired all the time? Is he one of those people who always smiles or always frowns?

Personality: again, acceptable, but the bare minimum. He’s very one dimensional right now. Are there certain things that make him upset? Certain things he likes to do?

Alignment: we give you numbers here for a reason. “Fringe” is not an alignment -10 through +10 pick a more neutral number the more positive the number the better person he is, the more negative the number the less…savory…character he will be.

Also, you need to read the section notes (application notes), they’re built to help you and there is something in them that I am looking for in your application which shows that you’ve read them. So far you don’t have it. Reply when you’ve done these things.

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

is that right or is thare more i should do

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

You are STILL missing something from the section notes. There’s only ONE thing that should be obvious you’re missing, since it’s the ONLY thing that is in the notes that ISN’T in the application.

Appearance: I want more detail in your appearance please, I believe I mentioned this already

Alignment: I want one number, not a range. Ex: Alignment: +3

Ship Name: have you created this ship in the tech section or is it a canon ship? If it’s in the tech section, I need a link and it must be accepted

Skills: remove the stats from the skills section, you only need stats there if you have 5 or more.

Bio:

When he told her she was mad for a bit but did not care, not because he stole it, she was mad because he could have been killed. She new after a bit that he would be fine, after all he was the son of a bounty hunter.

I'm having trouble believing that any SANE mother…or at least any mother who cared about her son in the smallest amount…would be okay with him doing something that could have gotten him killed. If I were her, I’d have been VERY upset, punished him, and told him why…I wouldn’t have cared about him being the son of a bounty hunter…that’s a LEARNED PROFESSION, not a character trait that keeps you safe! I suggest you modify this to make it more believable, either by 1) having her do the above, or 2) saying that she just really didn’t care about her son’s life.

One day later wen Zett was 8. Zett was on the farms with Kyle, they saw a squarish triangle shape on wheels,Kyle thought Zett would run he did,but not away he ran towards it when they got there they saw a species they had not met before they also saw droids a lot of droids,and guys in hoods after some time of looking around Zett came right out and said these must be tusken raiders one guy who was looking around jumped where Zett hunched maybe not,he smiled. then Kyle said these might be jawas they sell droids and parts. Zett had some money and bot the inside of a astromech or what was left of it. and used what he had learned of mechinacal from the repair droid and his father to fix up the droid.

uh…what? I can barely make heads or tails of most of this paragraph. Sort it out so it makes sense.

Hebba was moving them to kashyyyk for Kalebs work.

This makes no sense. As a republic planet, Kashyyyk would ban slavery and free all slaves…also, it’s rather foolish of the Hutt to send an -entire family- of slaves away from him…it would just give Zett’s father a chance to take his family and run…to hide and escape slavery. If the family stays with Hebba, he has leverage to use against Zett’s father…a way to make sure that the man does what he’s told while away from the planet on jobs. “Oh, so you’re not going to kill this mark? I think you will. Why? Because I have your wife and son, and if you want them to live you’ll do as your told!”…this sort of thing doesn’t work so well if they’re all off planet…”Oh, so you’re not going to kill this mark? I think you will. Why? Because I have…uh…(crap I shouldn’t have sent the whole family away) because I have a WATERMELLON!” >_> …scary…FEER TEH WATERMELLON OF DOOOOOM! Yeah…that wouldn’t make me any more inclined to do my job properly…

loots and loots of trees

>_> ……loots and loots? ……you mean ‘Lots and lots of trees’ right?

Wookiee  proper spelling, fix them all please.

…okay we’re going to need to go through this with a human spell check here when we’re done with the reviews, but here’s part one. Fix these things and then reply.

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

Ok i did most all of it see if that is good.
i have looked at the app nots now but see nothing too add.
so plz show me vea pm or hear tell me what to do.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

1)

his dad was teaching Zett how to hold a gun Zett also shot things from time to time on his own.

No. No sane father would allow a FIVE YEAR OLD to shoot anything, much less on his own. First, they could injure themselves. Second, the recoil (assuming it’s a slug thrower) would knock the child back. Third, at that age children don’t understand what death is…they really don’t…much less just how dangerous a gun is. Any number of things could (and would) go wrong.

2)

It took quite a bit of time but between the repair droid his father and him buying parts from jawas he had most of the droid repaired in two years. he also learned to under stand jawa as well.

Okay, an 8 year old isn’t going to be able to 1. fully repair a droid without help (and don’t use the ‘but Anakin could do it’ excuse…he was built to be a prodigy and had the help of the force) 2. fully understand jawa after just learning what they were. 8 year olds are only just -really- getting a good solid grip on the diversity of their primary language as far as speech/writing, learning to understand another language (especially jawa trade lang.) isn’t going to be easy to do, especially in the span of a year or so, and only with limited contact with jawas to help listen, learn, and speak it.

3)

One year after they got to kashyyyk Zett was invited on a hunt a wookie friend of his invited him.

how old was he at this point? Also remember that Kashyyyk is a very dangerous planet, while he has the wookiee there he should be okay, but being new to the planet, still fairly young, and not knowing all of the dangers out there, Zett could get into some very big trouble.

4) Why was Kashyyyk being attacked?

5) I thought his mom was still with the Hutt? What changed with that?

6) If Zett was still a slave of the Hutt’s wouldn’t he have been sent back to the Hutt instead of out into the forests? I'm pretty sure the hutt would have sent for him rather than potentially lose a slave.

7) Was Marcus (or his friend) mandalorian? Because that’s about the only way he would be able get Zett a suit of beskar’gam. If the answer is ‘no’ to at least one of them being mando, Zett won’t be able to get the armor.

8)

That night Zett Had set so many he did not no where they where himself.

so many what?

9)

Zett saw him and shot at him Zett hit the jet pack the thief came down and crashed and Zett gave chase.

“jet pack” denotes jet fuel…jet fuel and bullets of any kind (blaster or slug) don’t mix well…in fact, the combination is rather explosive at points. Chances are better that the pack would have gone up in flames once the fuel started spilling out and past the jets (if it were a slug thrower gun)….or have just gone up in flames right off the bat if it were a blaster. If you want the guy to crash without possibly setting on fire, I suggest finding another way…perhaps a net trap that would weigh him down and keep him from getting away right away?

10)

The job is for dead.

um…what?

11) What is a ‘razor droid’? I’ve never heard of them and they’re not on the wiki

Let me know when you’ve made these changes/explained these things in the bio and I’ll be back to hopefully only work on the grammar/spelling/punctuation so this is more legible.

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

a razor is a small droid Zett and Marcus made.
his dad helped him when he was shoting the gun.
and the reson kashyyyk was attacked was 1 only a small town and 2 Hebba the hutt was going to get the Rems back thanks thow i need too put that thare.

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

the man thet Zett did the job for owed Marcus a faver thet was repad by giveing the armor to Zett

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

so did you explain that in your bio? Explaining it down here won't cut it bro. It's all gotta be in the bio

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

done!!!

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

Im done with the last task.

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

okay....I think I've held you up long enough. Just know that you'll need to work hard on your punctuation and spelling, okay?

[Silas]

Accepted Stats:

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 6
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 5
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 4
Melee Weapons: 5
Ranged Weapons: 7

Alignment: +5

[Adobi-Wan Kenobi]

Age modified with permission

[Neology]

Moved to inactive.