Kellaishleya

[Kella]

ooc// Thanks for pointing that out! The worst part is, that's one of my pet peeves. xD I almost always catch it in the re-read, but last night I was too tired to re-read... xD Go figure.
Of course, my OCD is compelling me to grudgingly mention that you did the same thing with 'spread' in your first paragraph... xD hehe. Thank heavens for editing, or I don't think the world would ever end up with a decent novel... happens to the best of us. X) //

Of all the words that could be used to describe that Arkanian, 'gullible' was not one of them. Within his mind, a series of quick and precise calculations occurred as he observed the trespasser. Machine met instinct as Rembrant allowed the Force to whisper to him. It was interesting, the way a Jedi's presence... warped in accordance to his state of mind. A jedi skilled in sense could oft' find a way to apply that skill in a somewhat telepathic way. Rembrant was quite skilled.

A moment of silence passed as Rembrant concluded his calculations. One thing became abundantly clear. This man was determined to find something within Rembrant's guarded forest, and he had no intention of leaving. Confrontation was inevitable. And so, Rembrant might as well reserve his right to make the first move. He had given the trespasser due chance to retreat, and the trespasser had snuffed on it. No guilt would weigh at Rembrant's conscious.

"The only thing I seek is my solitude. If you shant leave, I shall help you."

Suddenly, a massive claw in the Force reached out and ensnared a tree, dead and dry in the winter air. Backed by a surge of frigid air, the tree fell horizontal and swung at what Rembrant had finally concluded to be an Epicanthix. Dry and brittle, as the tree collided with a Force -- Jedi or otherwise -- it shattered, and splinters of wood sprayed backward in a tail like a comet's. If allowed a moment's time, Rembrant would be quick to lift the splinters from the ground, to have them circle the man like a swarm of angry wasps, and then suddenly converge, all burrowing their frayed stingers in his flesh.

Rembrant never counted on such successes, however. Even as the tree had groaned and fell, Rembrant had ignited his ever-present saber with a sinister hiss. Now, its deep blue light threw shadows on his face, while silver sparks arced out from the core in time with the flow of the Force through the blade.

A master of Soresu, Rembrant assumed a defensive stance as the splinters fell. For good measure, he momentarily tugged on the Force like one strings a rubber band, and let it snap. A wave of compressed energy radiated outward, tossing the litter into a stir and pulsing in the general direction of the stubborn Sith, bending the air and the light as it went.

"I'm called Rembrant," he said, watching closely the disaster area. "Nice to meet you."

A bladed assault would be met with steady Soresu, and Rembrant was more than equipped to handle the usual Dark Jedi parlor tricks. Time would tell if there was more to the Epicanthix than so appeared...

[Casual]

{OOC: LOL, SAME @ Kell, I hate it when I do that xD. I usually catch it too, but that one part took a while for me to write, I kept stopping and coming back to, so my flow was out of whack and I didn't re-read. But enough about me, long walks on the beach you say? xD

Alright, this post is quite ossum, I must say, but IDK if it's me or what, but I could tell for certain when the attack comes for Jack or which medium it comes through. There's one where the splinters circle him and come down into his flesh, but you say "If allowed a moment's time" I am uncertain as to whether or not this moment was afforded to him. But then you go on to say that he snaps the splinters at Jack, so it gets clarified. But I suppose that it really means it didn't happen as you say "if" but... IDK, the first time I went through it I was a bit thrown off. Nothing big at all really. Overall: ish amazing, going strong, let's keep it goin'. ;D }

The air stood still, tension its only contents. The Arkanian stood where he had been, thoughts winding about in his mind. Jack couldn't personally care less about his decision, it was just a matter of the easy way or the hard way for this opponent. It was all up to him now.

The only thing I seek is my solitude. If you shant leave, I shall help you.

Solitude? Jack thought, What kind of man would do such a thing, regardless of who it was that sent you into isolation? Well, it still mattered little. Such a foolish man would learn the error of his ways. The man had decided that it would be condusive to help Jack, possibly show him the way out. Of course, the sarcasm was thick in the Arkanian's voice.

I ---

Before he could utter the first syllable, however, he felt a sudden surge in the Force, and the rush of his danger sense went beserk. He reacted as quick as he could, igniting his 'saber in one hand, heavy orange spewing forth like an inferno and with the other, throwing a massive Force push into the tree headed straight for him, then leapt back, away from the shrapnel. He made a quick Makashi salute that was so sharp, sudden and outraged, it was clear that Jack hadn't taken kindly to the sudden attack. He had thought, maybe, just maybe, they could handle this like gentlemen.

It was on that note that the Arkanian pulled heavy on the Force and then let it go, almost like a snap. In that instant, thousands of shards of wood and splinters propelled themselves at Jack. He wasn't nessisarily challenged by it, he had a response, but that the man was trying to keep Jack at bay, and that he was in a stance of Soresu, lent him to beleive that this man was wary of close-quarters combat. A beautiful thought, Jack decided in his mind with a sinister grin. He dropped the facade of his presence, allowing his constant residiual anger to move wild and free. He harnessed it all up, as well as a surge in the Force and built it as high he could, sucking in a heavy breath. Then, just as the splinters were but inces away, he loosed it. A Force Scream of preposterous proportions erupted towards his foe, sending the bits and peices that weren't shattered in its wake away from his body. Anger and energy surged through the air in such a well blended synthesis onwards toward the unsuspecting foe.

It was before Jack expelled the attack that he heard:

I'm called Rembrant. Nice to meet you.

With his attack surging, and completed on his end, he leapt high in the air, aided by his control in the Force, raised his lightsaber, and rocketed himself towards Rembrant, his lightsaber leaving a thick orange trail as he descended. Just before he reached ground he spoke.

Name's Jack Grozmick, pleasure is all mine.

[Kella]

ooc// Page 2, woot!
And gah, you're totally right, that whole paragraph should have gone in an entirely different place... sorries. X)
At the risk of sounding like a conceited jerk, which I'm not trying to be, I'm not exactly sure what you meant at the end... is Jack swinging his blade at Rembrant, or is he intending to come down in front of him, and then do something? Though I think I've thought of a way that it doesn't really matter... xD //

Leaping into the air was one of the least wise things the Epicanthix could have done in that situation. Jack Grozmick, was it? Rembrant was simply biding his time.

Suddenly, he brought his free hand slashing to the left. It was as if he had grasped the very Force with his for clawed fingers; the air itself followed his grip and slammed into Grozmick, and a bending of the pressures of the atmosphere on the opposite side decreased the amount of resistance he'd face as the Force shoved him to Rembrant's left. Depending on whether or not Grozmick had been prepared for the blow would determine whether his trajectory was simply skewed, or if he was sent rocketing into a nearby tree. The most likely result was somewhere between the two.

Rembrant wasted no time in leaping quickly toward his quarry, the sudden footwork paired with a trademark Makashi salute. The second stroke of the fiery blue X flowed into Rembrant's next manuever. He cut toward Grozmik, bringing his blade up and towards his right. He hoped Grozmik's parry would be down and toward the left -- it would put Jack in an awkward position -- for at the last moment, Rembrant revealed the strike to be a feint, twisting his wrist and suddenly making a slash at Grozmick's right hip, which was still at Rembrant's left.

Whatever attack the Epicantix returned was diffused by Rembrant's quick leap backwards, speed augmented by a flash of the Force and years studying the quick nuances of the Makashi form. At the same time, Rembrant picked up a moderately sized fallen branch, and though he never touched it, it bore his fingerprint in the Force as it slashed toward Grozmick's knees.

Rembrant's saber flowed easily once more into a defensive Soresu stance. He had centered himself in the path; tempting, enticing the Dark Jedi. There was a subtle confidence in his posture that declared whatever-may-come, he was ready.



ooc// Either it seems that I end up doing too much, or not enough. xD This is probably too much. I'm trying to figure how to strike a balance... feedback in this department especially appreciated. //

[Casual]

{OOC: Lol, it seems whatever "pitfalls" you seem to fall into so do I xP. Ah, well I meant for him to be bearing down on Rembrant, ready to strike from the sky. Embarrassing . Oh well.

Hrm, based on the situation, I feel that the godmode of stating that the blow landed is quite alright. But then again, this is just mentoring, so even that you did really dun matter (as long as you didn't kill Jack xD ). Also, I believe you missed that there was a wave of Force Scream coming at him amid Jack's arial assault >_>.

Onward to your point. Aight, sounds like a plan, focus on how much action you do per post and we'll figger it out. So. What I'm seeing here is that when you put too much going on, you gave less detail. Maybe you get excited about what's going on, your mind is wrapped up in the way the duel is pictured in your mind, you just gotta say it all? IDK. What I suggest though, is when you find you've done three or more "moves" (Force push, A rushing Makashi attack, and then a branch slash) you could cut it down by one or even two and focus more on the detail of what's going on. If you were finding the picture of what was going on in the battle in your head, then use that to focus on the surrounding area, point out the details of what's going on and what's happening in Rembrant's head. Don't make it filler though, if you find it looks like filler, it's perfectly acceptable to have a short post .

Okey day? So... lets move on so you can impliment that.}

He hadn't expected it at all, but as it came, he used the Force to speed up his reaction to what could have been a devastating blow. He was vulnerable while up so high, no means of dodging any attacks. The rush of a Force push that felt like the clawed hand that Rembrant had thrust in his direction, but based on Jack's reaction, and the way the force struck him, he managed to adjust himself in mid-air enough to kick off of a nearby tree and land without incident, only slightly shaken at having encountered such man that could retaliate so well. This would be a difficult fight indeed.

He couldn't consider this for long, however, as Rembrant was quickly upon him, blade dancing and weaving in a Makashi stance, to which he replied with his own of Ataru. It wasn't a defensive form in the slightest, but Jack pumped the Force quickly through his veins attempting to react in time to block the stuctured and precise form that reigned down upon him. It was working well, but phyically and Forceably tolling, but Jack had enough energy to keep it up. That was until Rembrant made a feint. As Jack came up to block, Rembrant's blade came down for his right hip.

With a straining and heavy leap Jack threw his body horizontally, the blade sliding right under him, but a slight nick by the blade sent a burn right along his hip as he twisted it away. As he landed, he made a powerful Force-enhanced swing, rage pouring into it, just in time to miss Rembrant as he leapt back.

Sith spit

He muttered under his breath. He then hurled the Force into a nearby tree, yanking it out of the ground and clutching it with the Force, with his hand extended and concentrating. As it levitated there, he used his saber hand to repel the new assault of a tree branch at his knees. With a few quick slashes he cut up the branch into peices, mitigating what little threat it posed. Rembrant fell back into a defensive stance of Soresu, and a demeanor that expressed a confidence, Jack could see it. The certain-of-yourself attitude he'd seen many times before. Well, here's something to wipe that look right off of his stoic face.

With a grunt, Jack launched the tree at Rembrant, then broke loose with all the anger his body could muster. It filled him, burning and raging like a volcano prepared to erupt. The Force was close to him now, filling every pore of his body with such unadultrated rage, the likes of which few had ever seen. Hatred without reservation, swirled and rippled around him with orange and red darkness, an aura that threatened to consume any who stood near. It was with this rush of power that Jack charged like a rabid rancor, seeking to cause as much devastation to the one who stood on the recieving end. He ran alongside the tree, saber raised, Juyo ready to pour forth its chaotic devastation. Rembrant was in for quite a rude awakening.

[Kella]

ooc// o.o I cannot believe I forgot about the Force Scream. Fluff, I'm usually so much more thorough than that... >.< So sorry...

Implement I shall! Beginning with not forgetting anything important. >.< //

A massive groaning shuddered through the forest as a tree was wretched from the ground. This was no light-weight; it was living, breathing, dense. Such a thing could be wielded with sheer force of will, but that worked detrimentally on dexterity.

Rembrant might have attempted to stop the rocketing tree with brute force, but he was far too wise, and had been practicing telekinesis far too long to make such a mistake. Instead, Rembrant fashioned a wedge, a ramp out of the Force. With a flick of his wrist, he had deflected the tree to the right, only as far as absolutely necessary. The tips of its branches grasped at his side and burned against his lightsaber, but despite all the tree's desperation, it could not combat the solidarity of that deflection, and passed harmlessly to the side.

The sickening sound of the tree slamming into its bretheren was drowned out by a sudden roar; the scream of sabers colliding. Rembrant's muscles tensed and rippled, protesting the sudden, terrible weight they were now forced to endure.

Though Grozmick showed himself to be skilled in Juyo, Rembrant was a master of Soresu. There was a sharp crisp-ness to his motions, as he put to use a mind of Arkanian make, the best bred thinkers in the galaxy. Rembrant found a pattern in the chaos, just enough to keep up with Juyo's wild attacks. Orange met blue in an array of dizzying light, and though Grozmick had managed to drive Rembrant's own saber against his shoulder, and to catch the Arkanian in a slash across the abdomen, Rembrant remained strong. He never attempted to hold the full strength of Grozmick's blows -- he wasn't strong enough to sustain that sort of combat. Instead, with every blow, he angled his saber so as to divert the force behind the other saber, so as to make it slide into lateral motion and diffuse the weight of the blows. Thus was Rembrant able to hold his own against the stronger duelist.

As was his habit, Rembrant momentarily doubted whether engaging in such a duel was wise. However, he reasoned that the Zakkeg who cannot defend his territory is rightfully defeated. Rembrant regarded his opponent with a sort of reserved respect, recognizing Grozmick's skill, and the challenge, while at the same time confident that he himself would be the one left standing, and not Grozmick. Rembrant put every sinew of determination behind his parries, thrust his blade with every heartbeart that raced for survival. Adrenaline surged through his veins, and Rembrant began to process without conscious thought. His aggression was tempered by a wise reservation, a part of his brain that was ever devoted to planning for the next instance, the big-picture...

And yet, he still was not gaining ground. Thus was the fatal flaw of Soresu; though one became untouchable, one also could not touch.

Suddenly and without warning, Rembrant condensed the Force into a thick layer around him. For half a moment he was protected, but half a moment was all that layer could that. Protection was not its intended purpose, at any rate.

No, Rembrant suddenly forced that layer outward again, a massive wave of Force that radiated like vibrations outward from a mallet strike. Three such circular vibrations lurched away from Rembrant, taking air and debris with them. Rembrant could feel the strain on his lungs as the pressure around him became negative, but this lasted only a moment, and he drew another sharp breath.

Hoping the wave had caught his opponent off-guard, Rembrant raised a clawed hand, willing the Force to match his movement, to wrap around the trespasser's neck and steal his life away... under Rembrant's touch, the Force adopted a measured, malevolent sneer. It was unclear to Rembrant, and to the Force, whether he was controlling it, or it was controlling him...

Rembrant kept his saber raised, wary of the resiliency of his opponent.

[Casual]

{OOC: This was a very good one, enjoyable read that mixed detail with action. Kudos to that
However… there were few typos “bretheren” and “heartbeart.” I also found a spot of confusion with the Force Wave: ”but half a moment was all that layer could that.” Beyond these, you’re making increasingly less mistakes . Let’s see if it continues ;D}

Jack felt it mid-dash, the ripples of the Force as it made a sort-of wedging motion, knocking his missile of a tree away. It didn’t matter. Its purpose was out of distraction and slight intimidation, if at all possible. He hadn’t expected it to actually hit such a powerful being. His focus was on his strong suit. His blade.

It was in that moment that malevolent magma met brilliant blue. They danced and spun, weaving a tapestry of survival and cunning. Each flash of color, each shuffling of feet, each drop of sweat, was a part of this battle of wills. Jack managed to thrust his strength and chaos down upon Rembrant, causing his own blade to bite against him. The next was a cut across Rembrant’s abdomen. And though Jack seemed to have the upperhand, it soon became apparent that Rembrant was discovering order to Jack’s chaos. He was slowly finding a pattern. This was devastating to Jack’s offensive, he would have to find another route. Rembrant found one for him.

It was a sudden and somewhat subtle thing. He could feel tiny fluctuations in the Force, slight, due to the amount of focus he was putting into his Juyo assault and in keeping his Rage going strong. It wasn’t until Rembrant unleashed his attack that Jack was privy to it. It knocked him back, kicking up dust at his feet as he slid back. Each of the three rings, he protected himself from, pushing back with the Force and using it to steady himself and try to stand his ground, but could not help but be forced rapidly backward. As soon as the attack ceased, he prepared to lunge in again, taking the opportunity to switch to his variation of Makashi and Ataru that he hoped would prove devastating. He didn’t get the chance.

A clawed hand of the Force lunged at his throat, mightily struggling to sap his life away. He could feel the force as it gave the impression of malevolence. His breathing was immediately restricted and he fought to regain his breath. He then centered himself quickly and began to fight back, willing his telekinetic energies to fight off the chokehold. It gave him some slight bits of air, enough to regain composure and hurl a volley of massive cylindrical thrusts of the Force at the Arkanian. Hopefully, his focus would be lost and Jack could find the time to close the gap and fight him down. It was then that inspiration struck.

His breathing was limited, but he decided that in a risky effort, he would expel what little air he had in his lungs: with Force Scream. He was still in the throes of his enragement, meaning he could muster up devastating anger, anger that would have taken a bit of quick meditation to pull up. He centered himself, air becoming more and more valuable as it became more and more limited in supply. He had to act fast. His center brought with it the Force and hate. The two bonded into a synthesis that would become the focal point of his Scream. With desperation, anger, and as much of the Force as he could muster under such time constraints, he bellowed with it all, purging outward and taking whatever stood in its way – down.

//OOC: I would also like to request some dialogue, plz? I think that would give more to look at and have a more well rounded... evaluation (?). Anywho, it's your call, whatever it is you're lookin fer //

[Kella]

ooc// I make some really amusing typos. xD Sorry ‘bout that – This post ought to be better ‘cause there’ll be a gap between writing and proof-reading. Dialogue coming as requested! I think. xD //

Rembrant’s focus was iron-clad, even in the wake of the cylindrical bursts. His quarry was compromised, distracted, and the attack was not as strong as Grozmick no doubt had the potential to make it. Such bursts and manipulations were little more than specific and practical applications of telekinesis, and as Rembrant sensed the oncoming attacks, he diverted them.

“I did not begin this day with an intention to kill,” Rembrant said, warning in his voice, “And I still do not possess it now. If you turn, and leave, I will not pursue you. You may scoff at my territorial nature, but there is little I have left in the world, and what is left I defend wholly.”

In some odd way, Rembrant saw his territory as some broken reflection, some distant echo of all he had once loved. The winds of the mountains howled songs to him, the animals of the forest gave him respect. Frozen within the core of his being was the knowledge that he had failed to protect all he had held dear, and that underlying wound drove his current behavior. Rembrant knew this and understood -- had come to terms and accepted. That did not change his refusal to back down. Deep rooted within him was a singular determination – he would not live knowing that he had failed again. He would succeed, or he would die, and that is how it would be.

There was no satisfaction, not even the slightest hint of pleasure in his eye as he watched Grozmick writhe and gasp. Rembrant was many things, many dark things, but he was not sadistic. The most that could be distilled from his expression was apathetic disgust. He felt the way Grozmick’s own telepathic hand fought against the iron claw, like a rat scratches the constricting boa, but it would not be long before the man was weak enough that such attempts would be null…

Suddenly, he felt the slightest something change in the Force, and Rembrant became immediately aware. There was time only for one simple reaction as the onslaught approached.

Rembrant pulled the Force closer to him, and as the Scream surged through him like a tidal wave, its effect was lessened, insulated. The hate was strong, but Rembrant had felt such loathing before… he knew frightfully well what it was to hate so thoroughly, and the boiling wave struck up in him little more than a grim distortion of nostalgia.

The hate could be dealt with. The noise was unbearable. It was the most wretched, screeching sound, as if nails were being drug across slate, while cannoks wailed in fear at the sight of a dying Narglatch. Rembrant winced heavily, drawing back his outstretched arm to shield his face, what little good that did.

However, Rembrant was far from incapacitated. This was – and could only be – due to the peculiar relationship he had with the Force. While other Dark Jedi were bent upon using the Force as their tool, and bending it to their whim, Rembrant had quite the opposite perspective. He had concluded that the Force possessed a sentience and a will all its own – a conclusion reached only by becoming exasperated with the Force’s ability to elude his own commands. In many ways, Rembrant allowed himself to be ferried and pushed within the whims of the malevolent Force, within the power that he had become so addicted to. He was its faithful pet, just as it was his. This Force was not keen to give up this vessel of its maleficent will. And so, today, its protection was with Rembrant, and he stood strong.

Even so, his focus was disrupted, just as Grozmick had no doubt hoped, and Rembrant growled to himself as the shuddering force dissipated. His ears still throbbed and rung, and as his eyes scanned warily around, he found he had lost his hearing, if only for a few moments. A flash of movement heralded the approach of Grozmick, and Rembrant realized suddenly, that his saber was no longer in his hand. Reaching out, he yanked it towards himself and caught it, igniting the blade just in time to catch Grozmick’s first attack, the burning shaft sliding dangerously close to his shoulder. Rembrant pushed with a precise application of leverage, born from his scientist’s mind and the subtle arts of Makashi. As the blades locked, Rembrant could slowly hear as the whine of their contact grew louder and louder.

“Why do you fight?” Rembrant inquired, tapping his head back ever so slightly in a gesture of arrogance, well withheld by his display of skill. “Why do you fight? Pride? Stubbornness? Anger?”

Rembrant shoved Grozmick away from him with saber and Force alike, stepping back with the opposite reaction, and remaining two paces away from the Dark Jedi. He began to circle.

“I fight for what I’ve loved and what I’ve lost.” The blades met again, silver sparks flying from the core of Rembrant’s dark blue saber as the two weapons hissed at one another. “So what do you fight for?”

The Arkanian leapt backwards once more, keeping his blade outstretched in a defensive stance. Delving into the forest around, Rembrant applied a breeze to kick up a cloud of dust, catching it with the Force and driving it towards Grozmick. Like a hoard of tiny gnats, the sand swarmed about Grozmick’s eyes and his throat, pushing at the openings, infecting his breath with their presence. Each individual grain of sand required some degree of attention, and it was only through years and years of discipline that Rembrant had managed to train himself to understand and appreciate each and every grain. And now, that discipline might mean his life.