Aet Unay

[Aet Unay]

Character Name: Aet Unay
Character Source: SWU (accepted)
Character Faction/Alignment: Jedi (0)
Type of Roleplay: Anything other than romance. >_> A duel further on might be nice, though at the moment a little Jedi talk might be the better choice.
Roleplay Requirements: I'll leave it up to the mentor, don't want to ruin the surprise that I will be hit with. xD
Reason for Request: Aet Unay is a 12-year-old Jedi Youngling, and if he doesn't get a mentor by the time he hits 13, he will not be able to become a Padawan any longer... and I don't think I'd like to see that happen.
Notes: Just in case I'm not clear enough in my RP, Aet Unay is in the large hallways of the Jedi Temple.
Roleplay:

Coruscant.

The core of the galaxy, the center of all living beings of the numerous planets, the travelling space lanes, trade routes, and even the single ships that floated around with absolutely no purpose. It just happened to be that everything "important" was drawn toward the planet that was consisted simply of a single city, the large, populated, and civilized world. And it was here, at the core of the Republic, that the majority of the Jedi Knights resided in, the Temple itself constructed upon its foundations.

And in this Temple did Aet Unay stay, in quiet, but not peace. He needed a Master, and now. He was getting doubts, but then he was certain at the same time that he would succeed in his mission. He would find himself a mentor, or at least get himself founded by a mentor, and he would become a proper Jedi, not this period of time-wasting, waiting to be picked up as a mere Youngling.

"Argh."

Frustrated, Aet stood up and waved his hand slightly as the doors to his dormitory slid open. Stepping out into the hallway as the doors slid shut again, this time through automatic sensor systems, Aet began his usual silent walk down the hallways of the Temple, his mind wandering off to faraway things, or actually even things close at hand; in this case, it would have been the latter, as he had no idea what he would run into that day.

(OOC: Apologize for my meager writing. ^ ^

[Silas]

(No worries, and I didn't do much better.

All in all your post is solid in the ways of grammar/spelling, which makes me very happy. :3 Your writing is very concise, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is making it a little short.

Maybe add a little more to his surroundings and such? Delve a little deeper into his own thoughts/actions. Add a few metaphors here and there xD Good, solid post, but it is very concise.

Anyway, we'll just go with this, and see if I can't spot a few more definitive things going on.)

With just seconds to spare, the Aquitan could feel heat rise to his face. Finger pulled his cloak closer around his body, and his ears tucked lower down as he pushed his way past the Master. Once more apprehension raced through his body like a poison as it threatened to blot out all mental processes. A cold, discerned look was trapped on the other man’s face, his brow furrowed like one who was enraged, and Mordin would rather avoid that. As he passed by without a second glance at the Padawan, he let out the air which had been constricted in his chest, the beat of his heart loud in his ears. The world began to speed up again as he moved through these halls, their echo in the Force always seemed to bring a warmth to him. These people always liked it to be so cold, and while he might not have memories of his home planet, he must have inherited a hate of this temperature from his past. Brazenly he began to walk away, a cool gaze upon his face; for that battle had been easily won.

Narrowly he’d passed that man without lecture, but now he stood there with no scars aside from a mental rush of embrace for any words he might have received. While he wasn’t sure what the man wanted, or who he even was, there had been a certain look he’d given him like he had spotted a stain on the side of a white sheet when his eyes fell on the Padawan. Then, when he’d changed directions to seemingly give him a mouthful of whatever was on his mind, the boy had been slightly taken aback. Luckily, he’d simply been in the perfect place for all of this to seem directed at him, and nothing more. Relief welled in him as he walked down the hall, one hand clutched desperately to his pike, the dark grey knuckles almost a light red now.

One little heartbeat away from total catastrophe he decided to quicken his way to the archives, his mind focused on a moment to unwind. There he’d find the information that he needed, hopefully. If not, he’d probably just give up on the venture, still anticipation held strong in his spirit, for he felt something special about this day. It was not another mundane search which would end in the myriad experiences of disappointment he had felt over the last few weeks.

For a moment something outside the large windows which lined these hallways caught his attention, and he brought himself to look at it. The next he was reeling backwards, his foot falls hard as he tried to regain his balance, the swift movement of his tail catching him. With a shake of his head, he looked around to see what had just happened, and his eyes fell on a person who looked little older than a Youngling. The definite lack of a Padawan braid signified that he was not one yet, but he gave the kid an apologetic smile.

“Are you okay….” He said as one of his longer fingers ran across his head, and his eyes roved around to see if anyone else was around.

Luckily no one was around to see his little blunder, and that was okay with him. With an intake of breath he couldn’t help but think how this had just been a small, little trip to the archive that had turned into such a mess. Now, he’d have to make sure this kid didn’t need to be taken to the healers or some such, and probably have some kind of conversation with him along the way. While he didn’t care to talk to him some, it wasn’t quite the way he’d planned on spending his evening. Actually, he had quite a detailed plan of how that was supposed to go, and none of this was actually in there. With a sigh pulled his hood down with the same hand that had felt his head, and he regarded the kid accordingly.

With a slight pause he added, “Sorry, I must have just been distracted by…something.”

(P.S. sorry for the wait!)