Every New Beginning...

[Meira]

[The following was supposed to happen at the end of the Sith Mission: Precautionary Tales thread. But... It didn't. Seeing as how time has passed and Renata has moved on, I figured the best place to put this was in the BftP section. Because time on the site is fairly fluid, it's hard for me to say just how long ago this was, but since Precautionary Tales came before Renata received the Darth title, so did this. That's about the best I can do for a time frame. The only other thing to note is that Silas will be NPCing Gordon Blackwing, Renata's former master. Thank you very much, and....enjoy?]

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"Please..." His lips quivered, thin bands of saliva clinging to them as they opened and closed. His eyes, a mute brown and unimpressive, watered as lids blinked rapidly. His nose ran as he coughed and choked back his fear. "...please don't. I- I have credits. I can- I-... It's yours. All of it! Just..."

The shoto saber hummed, it's yellow light cast over his frame caused his skin to appear a sickly color. The inside of his pant legs were soaked and the air stunk of his cowardice. The Dark Lady, her eyes wide and wild, bit at her lip, savoring his fear, his horror. Her heart beat a fire through her veins and her shoulders heaved with each breath she took. She raised the saber, holding it horizontally bellow his chin.

"NO! Please!"The fog choked his plea.

Shhh... Long, thin fingers moved lightly through his hair. Renata was a good few inches taller than the sniveling man. She extinguished the blade, the world around them growing suddenly very dark, and lowered her arm. The fingers in his hair pulled his head forward and her lips touched lightly against his forehead. Shhhh.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" The man began to sob, his legs giving in, he fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around her. His face pushed to her thigh, she could feel his tears soaking through the fabric of her robes.

His weakness sickened her. With his horror being replaced by a wave of relief, her lust for the feel of it curdled into disgust. She stepped back, tucking the contract he'd handed her into a safe place on her belt. When he looked up at her, he saw the disdain in her eyes. He wiped at his eyes, his nose. Stumbling to his feet, he tried to approach her again.

"How can I show you my-" With an open mouth, he gawked at her. A burning smell had suddenly filled the air. It was brighter too... and there was a humming. Those pathetic eyes slowly lowered to find the source of these changes. He looked back up to her again and tried to speak, but blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. The light was fading out of his eyes.

You've done quite enough. Renata extinguished the shoto saber once again and clipped it to her belt as she watched the aristocrat fall to the ground. She turned away, wiping at her robes where his tears had left their mark. The spot would dry, however, and the others were waiting for her.

Then suddenly, she felt a presence that caused her to stop in her tracks. It was faint, barely registered within her consciousness. But it was unmistakable. Her breathing suddenly came quicker, her heart cantering in her chest. Could it truly be? She forced herself forward, trying to ignore the presence, but every step was a war.

She reached the ship where the other three were waiting. She thrust the contract into one of their hands. Her mind was reeling and she could not tell who. She never ascended the ramp. Instead, she stood at the foot of it and ordered them to leave.

There is... another matter that I must see to. She said. Her eyes left no room for argument. Soon, the ramp raised and Renata stepped back as the ship took off from the landing pad and angled skyward. Within moments, it disappeared into the fog. She then stood alone at the edge of the landing pad, the mists of the planet closed in even thicker than they'd been when she arrived, making it near impossible to see more than twenty feet in any direction.

But she didn't need eyes to know he was coming; this man she hadn't seen in four years. She had called him master once. Blackwing.

[Silas]

One day I’ll be gone…

Rain. It drizzled from a gray sky as the planet’s sun was blocked from view by the tumultuous clouds as they rolled across his vision. It always rained here. Each individual drop fell upon him with striking precision as he stood there in the down pour with little thought but the face. A face he knew from a half-remembered dream. It tore into his memory to leave a brand across what might be called a soul at one point. Now his eyes found those features foreign to him as his feet took one simple step closer towards the figure. An already dark brown cloak clung even darker to his skin battered down with the fall of these rains that only seemed to gain in strength with every fall of his feet.

…you’ll have to be the master, then.

Around him the air seemed to solidify as if gravity had made it impossible to move any of his extremities. The weight of his cloak became unbearable so as he attempted to run he let it slide to the ground with a small splash as it crashed into a forming puddle. One hand came to brush the water out of his eyes as his feet fell upon the ground to catch up to that figure. The other hand reached forward to grab the image in front of him to keep it safe and never let it out of his sight. Time flittered by in a roar as he came within inches of her before her entire images seemed to unravel into a fine mist as it swirled about him; as if to mock him the cool touch of the fog seemed to encompass him for a simple moment before it moved on.

With the disappearance he fell upon his knees as a cry echoed through the air with the agony he bore at that moment. Torment tugged at his heart while he sat upon his knees without a clue as to what he had expected at that last moment. It always got away in that last moment no matter how hard he tried to catch it. While he sat there the rain slowly turned to snow around him as the fine flakes began to swirl. Their path hit the ground only to dissolve into the coat of water that already covered the entirety of everything around him. Ice seemed to form around him as the temperature dropped; almost like it had been that figure keeping it warm. Here it always snowed.

Can you handle that?

Those were the words that killed him for they were more real, as if he could cling onto them. A prophecy that came to reality far too soon and now he was forced to chase. It was always him chasing. Never her.

”I’m ready, Blackwing… you just have to catch me,” The voice mocked him from afar as if it might just be around the next curve in the road, or in a shadow just behind his back. No matter where he looked, though, he would never find her till just the moment that it was far too late.

With sorrow laced in his words he screamed, “I can’t run anymore! I can’t find you… Please, just stop this. Stop this.”

A giggle seemed to echo in his ears as he heard that voice mock once more, ”Catch me.”

Beep!

The sound startled him as he jumped awake with a stutter both dazed and confused. For a second the warm confused him for there could be no snow if it wasn’t cold. Suddenly he remembered the lonely cockpit, the viewport in front of him, and the long road he’d started down. It had been almost an hour now since he last recalled the time and the ride on this ship had almost come to an end but the journey had barely begun. Time would only tell when this would end, if it did indeed come to rest at all for there had been so many times where all his search had brought him was more pain. The dreams had become more common, though. Sometimes he felt as if he could feel her even when he was awake just seconds beyond the next turn and he knew this would be it. The Force had called him here and soon he would lie to rest this agony that tugged at every fibre of his being.

Through the view port things had changed as he entered the atmosphere of a planet. Flames licked the edges of his ship as various sensors helped him direct his way down to the planet below. The large planet soon came to fill his viewport entirely as one spot where his coordinates brought him began to grow to show a spot of the planet covered in fog. A shiver ran down his back as he remembered the dream he’d just had. Both eyes closed as he remembered that he was about to save the girl he’d lost so long ago. If only he could have been stronger. No matter, she would be back in safety once again soon enough.

It was like a faint itch in the back of his mind he couldn’t escape and immediately he knew it was not some delusion. All these feigned efforts to find her had culminated to this one point wherein he knew that was her on the back of his mind. In the breadth of a moment his heart began to hammer against his chest as he got out of his seat quick as a bullet. The moment the ramp fell down he dashed out of the ship onto the ground.

Without hesitation he went towards where that presence was even if he was going straight for a trap, he did not care. This was his chance to escape all the past years and make right the wrong. In this moment of blind ecstasy he almost tripped over something on the ground. As he looked down his heart dropped for what he knew to be the work of what had once been his apprentice. Calamity washed over him suddenly as he took a step over the body. Now he continued on at a slower pace as he tried to comprehend what he had just looked at.

Please don’t let it be! his mind raced trying to tell himself it wasn’t true, but he knew it to be so as his breath quickened. All his years as a Jedi had never prepared him for this.

The feeling of the Dark Side hit him suddenly as that presence came closer and all his doubts were washed away, What have I done?

“Phoenix, where did I go wrong?” The man muttered to himself as he could see the outline of a person take shape amongst the fog and the last of his hope burn away as the taint floated from her. All his fears had come together in this one moment as his spirit almost broke.

[Meira]

Catch me!

Blackwing smiled. The lines around his aging eyes became more prominent, making him look wise and loving. And he was. Blackwing pushed her hard, but he held her up, was always there in case she fell. And their game lasted all afternoon. The light danced, gold and warm, through the trees and Phoenix's laughter floated in the air like music until he called out.

"Enough! Phoenix, I cannot run anymore!" He collapsed to the ground, his chest rising and falling in great heaves. Phoenix appeared from behind a bush, her own breath coming in heavy gasps as sweat glistened on her brow.

You're too slow, Master.

"You're too young." Phoenix knelt down beside the man, her giggles fading as the look on his face sank to a more somber expression. "One day I’ll be gone…"

The presence that closed in was a shell of the one Renata remembered from so long ago. Blackwing had hardened over the years that she trained with him, and it seemed now that he'd hollowed since. With every passing moment, she felt him coming closer. Again she questioned, though she knew beyond any doubt, if this was truly the man that had once been her master.

With feet rooted to the landing pad, she weathered the waves of emotion and memories that struck against her with unrelenting force. For each crash of longing to be at his side again, another soon followed, one of deepest anger and resentment. She could not forget that this was the man that denied her the true potential within her own connection to the force. This man, who presumed to be her teacher, had done nothing but hold her back, hold her down, so that he could rise even higher in the eyes of the Council. How could she possibly...

Through the mist, through time itself, Blackwing came into view. His form, a dark, blurred silhouette, still spoke for hard training and even harder discipline. But there was something in his gait, in the way he carried himself that belied some weakness. Was it age?

Blackwing.

In the damp silence that surrounded them, the word rang loud, but left no echo to hint that it had been spoken at all. Her teeth clenched, holding back both a sob and a cry of hate. Why? Why did he come? So many years later. Why could he not let her forget him. That hate bubbled inside of her and coursed from her being in malicious waves. Was it not enough? Had he come now to reclaim her so that she might be his once more? Phoenix was dead, every bit of her was cleansed in the fire of the dark side. Blackwing would learn. And Renata would teach him.

[Silas]

“My apprentice is either lost, or very confused; I must find her. I fear the most grave if I do not,” His voice had a solemn demeanor to it, as if from the last testament of a dying man.

Simply, quietly beside him his friend looked out into the endless stream of ships, buildings, and lights that made up the urban ecumenopolis that this planet had become. Once they had finished encompassing the surface of this planet, they had simply begun to build up, and part of Blackwing feared they would never let the poor planet rest. This expansion felt like his life, built up, and expanded upon, but no conclusion had ever been found, and that was what brought the sorrow to his voice.

The man next to him quietly responded, “You need to rest, Blackwing. You need to accept she’s not coming back, and even if she did who knows if you could save her? She’s most likely dead.”

Those words were supposed to be friendly, to help him, perhaps even encourage him, but instead they simply brought rage. Cold, undulating rage to the surface from where he’d buried it deep within his subconscious as he replied, “I always knew Jedi to be careful, decisive. I did not know they were cowards.”

Without passion, without love, or hate, without feeling at all he turned around from the man he’d thought was his ally, but he waged a war right now. One of the innocence that resided in a girl he’d taken on as apprentice, and therefore was his sole responsibility; those who got in his way could not be allowed to complicate things right now. The Force knew his life was complicating as it was, much less if he let that kind of thought get in his mind. Right now he let the Force guide him, for it was the only thing left he had to cling to.

The memory flashed through his head as his fingers curled around his lightsaber without thought as the image of the man he’d left behind swirled in the ceaseless fog. It settled around a familiar face, one that had once been full of happiness, sweetness, and had brought him hope. Now there was a void where that inspiration had been, now only darkness lay in the wake of that which had once been. A small sense of dread fell over him, for a second he felt as though the man might have been right.

Fear gripped his heart as he contemplated the idea that perhaps he might have to harm Pheonix, and it tore down his walls. With all his heart he clung to composure with an iron will, for if he fell it would only make himself look weak in her eyes. Right now he needed strength.

“Blackwing.” The words hung crisp in the air as the twisted through his ears. They brought a shiver down his back as he looked upon her quietly.

After a second of the continued silence he spoke with a tone of sorrow, “Pheonix. My dear, Pheonix. You have been lost so long. I’ve been down this road so long, so weary. Must we fight?”

Amidst the darkness he could feel a goodness that still shone in her, it was deep down inside her, but he could feel it. All he had to do was reach it, least the gravity of this situation become dire.

[Meira]

“Pheonix. My dear, Pheonix. You have been lost so long. I’ve been down this road so long, so weary. Must we fight?"

The air hissed through her teeth as she drew in a breath, ragged with rage. She closed her eyes for just a moment as the emotion washed through her.

With aid from the force, she dashed forward, filling the air with a shrill scream. Both lightsabers sprang to her hands, igniting an instant before they were crossed at the man's neck. In the next second, they'd deactivated again as she stood, panting, and as Blackwing's head rolled across the duracrete. His eyes still blinked, his mouth opening and closing, then it was still.

She fell to her knees as his body did the same. His headless torso fell forward into her, and she was barely able to support the dead weight. The cauterized stump of his neck stank of burned flesh. She dug her fingers into his lifeless shoulders, tears ran freely from her eyes as she cried out, again and again, her voice hoarse and raspy.

All that pain, all that anger, the hate... the love. It pulsed out of her, taking bites of her soul with it, until finally, she was left as an empty shell. The emptiness, cold and unforgiving, hurt most of all. Was this not what she wanted? Did she not desire, deep within her bones, to strike down this man? He had caged her, denied her the true potential within. Why then, did she feel so hollow?

Her eyes opened. Electric blue, they gazed upon him. No. This was some trick, some ploy. She would not let him confuse her. She'd come too far, learned too much, to have him try and rip it all from her once again. Just as with that dark stranger all those years ago, Blackwing was here to pull her back, back into that gilded cage.

She noted her old master had his hand already on his lightsaber. Must we fight?, he had asked. Contempt spread across her features.

"It appears you've already made that choice." she said, allowing her words to flow like water, like music. With those words she sent out she sent out her most dangerous weapon, a skill she'd manage to build without Blackwing to stop her; the soothing, persuasive tone that was so difficult to deny. Renata was no blade master, no physically imposing figure. Nor was she expertly skilled in wielding the force in a direct way. No. Her rise to power, over those who had more years of experience and prowess, was fueled by her ability to inspire loyalty; she could be so persuasive when it mattered most.

This she unleashed on her former master now. She conjured memories, flashes of her younger self. She reincarnated her innocence and wore it like a gown. And through their bond, that bond that had almost had her falling before the man in tears, she pulled out every ounce of love she could sense within him.

And then, as she held him high with emotion, Renata stepped back to the edge of the platform. Below, just barely visible through the fog, A ledge stuck out. Renata moved until she balanced on her toes at the edge of the platform.

"Blackwing..." she said to ensure that his focus was back on her rather than the memories. "Catch me."

She fell, calling on the force to soften her landing on the ledge. She looked up then, from her crouched position, long enough to allow a wicked smile before she dashed along the ledge. Then she was around a corner and out of sight.

[Silas]

Rage hissed from her mouth, she was not the creature he had once known; the innocence, the compassion he had once found in her was gone. Now that their game of cat and mouse had come to an end for the last time, he didn't know what to do, or how to face her. There was only the lingering silence as she thought about his words, and there was a second he held to hope that this might end peacefully.

"It appears you've already made that choice." Her voice ripped through his entirety like the lonesome shot of an arrow taken directly to his inner conscious. For a second he fell; was broken into a thousand pieces only to be scattered about the ground he could not see upon a world he could not feel. For a second he hated himself, hated that lightsaber he'd gone to so quickly

Almost without warning his fingers trembled, the world grew distant as a complete picture of the girl he once knew grew in front of him, almost as if the mist made a mask over the taunt black under her eyelids. The mask grew stronger to envelop the malice behind those blue eyes flecked with the gold purity she could still wield. How could he have let her go, even for a second if this purity still lay inside her, if all he had to do was draw it out. One hand reached through the mist towards the figure to make sure she was real, that this was not all some cold apparition from the climes of his imagination in an attempt to break the last shreds of sanity he might claim. Those cold fingers could not find a register, their tips far from the red locks of hair, or the cool white skin.

“Blackwing…” That single word brought his eyes to meet hers, the saliva in his mouth thick as he tried to gulp back the fear he felt. It snapped him back to her, though, to the reality that stared him down, that laughed cruelly in his face, “Catch me.”

The pieces he had become formed together once more as she disappeared into the mist below, the fall off the side of the platform steep and unforgiving. With all his strength he went to catch her hand; to pull her back to safety.

Instead, he fell.

Fell into the darkness below, the world fading around him as he twisted in the air trying to reach for the edge. His instincts caught just in time to cushion the impact of the fall from the ground with the force, but he still hit with a grunt. The wind had been momentarily knocked from his lungs as he gasped vainly for breath, to wake from the stupor this woman had wrapped around his head like a misbegotten shawl. The psychological hold she had on him couldn’t cause him to make mistakes like that; he had to be vigilant if nothing else. The fall had awoken him to the reality that this was not the Pheonix he knew, only a shade of her he had to bring back from the darkness.

Slowly he picked himself from the ground to shake off the dust of his fall, the world before him he picked out the trace of her. A scent hung in the air like that a hound might find, only it was made of the living force; a faint pinprick far in the distance that signaled his once-apprentice. One foot forward he trudged into the darkness to find her and free what might be left of her.

Suddenly he pulled the lightsaber that had fallen from his hands back to him as he waked towards the direction of that little light. There was little left to do but hope as he found his way through this strange world in search of a fading hope.

And still, that hope was all he had left to cling to. So the game of cat and mouse started again and all he had left to wonder was, who was the mouse?

[Meira]

She had hoped to give him a chase, one worthy of what fondness she might have still harbored toward him. But there was something amiss. She could feel it in her skin as she moved through the mists and buildings, through the souls that rotted around them. He pursued her, yes, but this was no chase. Not like the ones she remembered. The thought vexed her and the Dark Lady ground her teeth as she halted her progress.

Perched on a balcony, her eyes scanned below her. There was nothing to see but fog and the ghostly outlines of buildings. But there was much and more to feel. Each life seemed to burn along the streets and alley ways below. They did not know that their fires were dull and dying. But Blackwing knew.

She could feel the sorrows in him now. Strange how quickly their bond reformed through their proximity. She knew she could not hide from him, not now. But she could outpace this man easily. She'd always been able to outpace Blackwing, but just barely. Now, the man that moved so slowly after her... this man was different. The same Blackwing, but only just. What had broken this shade? Could it truly be that he had lost her? Surely her stubborn stone of a master could not be so easily shattered. But the proof was there before her outstretched senses. He pressed on, determined to come after her. Yet he left a trail of himself behind. Pieces of the great man she had once thought him to be shook off of him with every step he took. Would he be able to find his way back?

This man she could kill. It would be a simple thing. He'd given into her illusion so easily. He'd yearned for that innocent girl to stand before him when he confronted her. It was all to easy to show him what he wanted to see. But it had not been satisfying in the least. With every ounce of tenderness that returned to her, a measure of contempt came with it. She remembered his unforgiving nature just as much as his smile. That smile had been such a rare treasure. But how could she ever have wanted to elicit it from him, when the price was nothing less than her own life?

A bitter taste filled Renata's mouth as she remembered. She had entertained the notion of turning Blackwing. Turn him or kill him. But this was not Blackwing. This was an empty shell of a man, a corpse that still blinked though life had left it. If she was to confront Blackwing, she would have to raise him from the dead. He would have to remember his name. That fire that burned inside of him was little more than embers now, but she knew how to stoke it. No one could tempt his ire like his little Phoenix.

Phoenix is dead... she thought. But Renata remembers.

The Dark Lady waited, allowing her old master to draw near. When she felt his presence below, she climbed down from her high perch and allowed her senses out toward him again. She moved in the mist like a shadow all around him, her voice calling out to him from time to time.

You abandoned me. Her words would ring in his ears, in his very heart. I gave you everything that I was, and you let me die. You failed, Blackwing. For all your strength and will, you let them take me. I trusted you, followed you, BLED for you, and you let me die. You are weak. Pathetic. NOTHING.