Jendiitsu's sith application

[jendiitsu]

hi my name is Dan here's my application

Name: Jen Diitsu
Race: Ortolan
Age: 14
Height:1.4 metres
Weight:70 pounds
Appearance: a small blue child of fourteen, he was teased by other children for having abnormally smaller ears...
images.wikia.com/starwars/images/0/08/Ortolan_NEGAS.jpg
Personality:very sly and cunning, an extremely good acrobat.
Birth place: Orto / Lon Ponto

Faction: Sith
Rank: Initiate

Previous Faction: None
Previous Rank: Force Sensitive,

Bio: Jen Diitsu was born in La Ponto, Orto to an unknown mother and father who were killed when he was young. he was raised by Pip Rebo (Max's great nephew.) whilst working alongside him in a speeder shop. his dream was to become aa jedi until a jedi came to orto and told him that he could never become a jedi as he was too old...ever since he has sworm revenge on the jedi who killed his dream.

Lightsaber: single blade
Color: Red


-

Practiced Lightsaber forms:
Shii-Cho-2






Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 6
Telepathic: 4
Body: 5
Sense: 5
Protection: 6
Healing: 4
Destruction: 8

Specialized Skills: agility



Physical Strength: 7
Intelligence: 8
Speed: 6
Leadership: 6
Unarmed: 7
Melee Weapons: 9
Ranged Weapons: 7

Force Attunement: +4
From -10 to +10


RP Sample:
If i am accepted into a sith and given a sith name i intend on posting my training methods, missions i complete and battles i am involved in.

[sparrow]

There is a thread titled "PLEASE READ BEFORE CREATING A DARK JEDI OR SITH!" (link).

It should be read.

[kozeph]

Hey there Dan, I am kozeph and Im gonna help you through the application process. I am no mod or have any authority so feel free to ignorme if you so wish :3

Appearance: A bit short, meaby you can add what type of clothing he wears and if he has a birth mark or something

Personality: This one is also toooo short, add more, what does he like? is he serious or happy go lucky type? does he hate anything? Is he cruel or evil? also acrobat is not part of a personality it would go under skills

Bio: Sorry add a bit more, you can write about how he felt about being orphaned, did he have a happy childhood? made many friends you know. Flash Jen a bit more, as it stands the bio is to short.

Also seeing that you have to add. who trained him? where did he get a lightsaber? give the bio MORE my friend.

Practiced Lightsaber forms: looks about good, but you need to mention who trained him in the art of the lightsaber

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices: They are all tooo high, those are the kind of stats you see in a +27 age or even master level which is above +32. At this age (TRAINED) force sensetives have lots of two's, a couple 3's and meaby just meaby a 4

Specialized Skills: Add acrobatics here (Also you need to mention in the bio how come he is good with flipping around)

Physical Strength: 7 (high, he is just 14 a three or a 4 is fine)
Intelligence: 8 (you make no mention that he is smart, a 5 is an educated person, a 6 is a really smart person an 8 is Newton's type of smarts)
Speed: 6 (a five might do well here, he is an ortolan you know being a bit fat and stocky would hinder him a bit)
Leadership: 6 (yeah noo, a three might be fine)
Unarmed: 7 (3 is fine, you make no mention that he has any martial arts training)
Melee Weapons: 9 (Sorry but no, you make no mention of training and a 9 is something for someone who has dedicated most of his life to a weapon)
Ranged Weapons: 7 (Thats the number you expect to see in a military trained sniper, lower it down by a lot)

Force Attunement: +4 (yeah no, a +4 is a really good person and not one that will join the sith out of the blue. Either move Jen to the civies section or the fringe one)

Alright that was round two, I'll come back to help you again later if you so wish. You get applauses for making an Ortolan and many cheers for you.

There is no rush so take your time

[sparrow]

Moving to Incomplete.