Post by Halmtier on May 24, 2008 1:30:02 GMT -5
Name: Dark Jedi Tuber
Race: Potato
Age: 10
Height: 1 foot
Weight: 1.0 lb (No base)
Birth place: (Planet)
Appearance: While most Potato’s have a Soft purple Flower, Tuber has a deeper, more blood red colored flower.
Faction: Dark Jedi
Rank: Jedi Knight
Lightsaber: None
Color: N/A
Bio:
It was only a short while before the battle was over and the land had become a morgue for both dark and light jedi alike. On the surface of PENDING, in an area of no past relevance to this bio, a large skirmish had occurred between many Jedi of opposing sides. The survivors saw little use in moving or burying the bodies, and had left them to rot, much like everything else the dark side of the force touches. From the bodies, more then just stench was fed into the earth. Each force sensitive being soaked deep into the apathetic ground, giving life to a small patch of potatoes. Had the potato’s the brain power to think, (or the hands to clap) they would have applauded themselves at creating such amazing irony.
It was during an expedition to the planet that the dark jedi noticed a large accumulation of power in a small area, and it wasn’t them. They shirked off the duties of their previous expedition (as it was pretty boring) and began to search for this source of power that they once again had confirmed was not them. Eventually they were able narrow their search down to a potato patch, that when you think of it still left hundreds of potatoes to be searched. This did little to daunt them, as they probably didn’t realize the sheer magnitude of potatoes that can grow on a single plant. Dark jedi were agriculturally inferior in this way, but so be it.
Anyways, this didn’t matter, as when one of the Jedi came into contact with the tuber set bearing this awesome potato, a large shockwave pushed him and his companions down, and killed the rest of the potato plants. It would appear that one of the potatoes did indeed understand the irony of living through death, but sadly he still lacked the hands to applaud himself.
Taking this mysterious vegetable back to their temple, the dark jedi had placed it inside of a glass container that supplied it with a constant stream of water, air, artificial sunlight (Just by looking at the skin of any dark jedi, you can see that real sunlight isn’t their forte), and plant feed. Having things that were deemed more important then this tater, the dark jedi left it on display as an oddity and went back to work. (probably going back to do that expedition they put off so that they could frolic in the flowers of starchy goodness)
It was almost a year later when a dark apprentice heard the potato talk. Well, in reality she didn’t hear it talk out loud, but more heard the calm voice emanating inside of her head. At the time she didn’t realize it was the potato, as she had never head a potato talk before and really wasn’t expecting to be contacted by a tuber. Some confused reports later, the dark lords came to realize the breadth of this taters power. After a brief and somewhat confusing council with the potato, they decided that this tuber had amazing power for a vegetable and would train the potato to use its force abilities.
Not having much on their minds (or even having minds), vegetables can dedicate themselves to a single thing quite well. The sentience of this potato gave it even more drive to learn to do what his tuber brothers could only dream of, once again, if they had minds. Still, his (or her for you feminists) lack of mobility hindered him/her greatly, and the potato was given a small device that was controlled by his/her own force of will (or will of force) for movement. It was with this device that the tater had become a fully fledged dark jedi knight, or at least a fully fledged dark jedi potato. Either way, this tuber was ready to show those fleshy beings the power that a tater can wield, and pummel those vegetarians to the ground to feed the taters in yet another twist of irony. Perhaps one day he will get those hands, but until then he will have to have the force clap for him.
Race: Potato
Age: 10
Height: 1 foot
Weight: 1.0 lb (No base)
Birth place: (Planet)
Appearance: While most Potato’s have a Soft purple Flower, Tuber has a deeper, more blood red colored flower.
Faction: Dark Jedi
Rank: Jedi Knight
Lightsaber: None
Color: N/A
Bio:
It was only a short while before the battle was over and the land had become a morgue for both dark and light jedi alike. On the surface of PENDING, in an area of no past relevance to this bio, a large skirmish had occurred between many Jedi of opposing sides. The survivors saw little use in moving or burying the bodies, and had left them to rot, much like everything else the dark side of the force touches. From the bodies, more then just stench was fed into the earth. Each force sensitive being soaked deep into the apathetic ground, giving life to a small patch of potatoes. Had the potato’s the brain power to think, (or the hands to clap) they would have applauded themselves at creating such amazing irony.
It was during an expedition to the planet that the dark jedi noticed a large accumulation of power in a small area, and it wasn’t them. They shirked off the duties of their previous expedition (as it was pretty boring) and began to search for this source of power that they once again had confirmed was not them. Eventually they were able narrow their search down to a potato patch, that when you think of it still left hundreds of potatoes to be searched. This did little to daunt them, as they probably didn’t realize the sheer magnitude of potatoes that can grow on a single plant. Dark jedi were agriculturally inferior in this way, but so be it.
Anyways, this didn’t matter, as when one of the Jedi came into contact with the tuber set bearing this awesome potato, a large shockwave pushed him and his companions down, and killed the rest of the potato plants. It would appear that one of the potatoes did indeed understand the irony of living through death, but sadly he still lacked the hands to applaud himself.
Taking this mysterious vegetable back to their temple, the dark jedi had placed it inside of a glass container that supplied it with a constant stream of water, air, artificial sunlight (Just by looking at the skin of any dark jedi, you can see that real sunlight isn’t their forte), and plant feed. Having things that were deemed more important then this tater, the dark jedi left it on display as an oddity and went back to work. (probably going back to do that expedition they put off so that they could frolic in the flowers of starchy goodness)
It was almost a year later when a dark apprentice heard the potato talk. Well, in reality she didn’t hear it talk out loud, but more heard the calm voice emanating inside of her head. At the time she didn’t realize it was the potato, as she had never head a potato talk before and really wasn’t expecting to be contacted by a tuber. Some confused reports later, the dark lords came to realize the breadth of this taters power. After a brief and somewhat confusing council with the potato, they decided that this tuber had amazing power for a vegetable and would train the potato to use its force abilities.
Not having much on their minds (or even having minds), vegetables can dedicate themselves to a single thing quite well. The sentience of this potato gave it even more drive to learn to do what his tuber brothers could only dream of, once again, if they had minds. Still, his (or her for you feminists) lack of mobility hindered him/her greatly, and the potato was given a small device that was controlled by his/her own force of will (or will of force) for movement. It was with this device that the tater had become a fully fledged dark jedi knight, or at least a fully fledged dark jedi potato. Either way, this tuber was ready to show those fleshy beings the power that a tater can wield, and pummel those vegetarians to the ground to feed the taters in yet another twist of irony. Perhaps one day he will get those hands, but until then he will have to have the force clap for him.
