Do I Belong Here? (Open)

[Spite]

The low humming of a training saber had become quite familiar, as had the sterile smell of the Temple's training room. Well... perhaps it wasn't that clean anymore... now it reeked more of sweat, the sweat of a single Jedi Youngling who seemed to be out of his chambers a little past the time that he was meant to.

Well... more like a lot past that time. It was now the twelfth hour of the night, the child's chrono signaling the start of a new day. Yet this child continued to train as if time were not a bother to him. Well, it's not like he had been caught yet.

His name was Xiin Obairu, a Youngling at the Jedi Temple. Well... he was barely a Youngling anymore. Soon, it would be time for him to do one of two things... Be chosen by a master, or assigned to the corps.

I know which one I would LIKE to choose. Xiin thought to himself, training saber swiftly cutting through the air, a couple air molecules bursting in response to the concentrated heat. But there's no one who would end up choosing me.

For years, the child had dreamed about becoming a Padawan learner, to go forth into space with his master and learn many things of the force and the galaxy. However, as he grew older, that dream seemed to drift further and further away.

Attempting to brush his thoughts aside, the young Obairu shifted his stance apart further, effectively lowering his center of gravity and poising his lightsaber at the height of his shoulder in a horizontal stance.

"GgrawwwwwhHH!" The child bellow as his lashed his weapon in front of him. It had turned into somewhat of a savage routine. Slash, spin, stab, twirl... steps to a dance with life and death... or that was what it was supposed to be... if this were not a training saber.

"RrrwwaA--- gah!" Suddenly the boy's eyes sprung open as his saber accidentally flew from his grasp, deactivating and lifelessly clattering to the floor. That was the least of Xiin's concerns; however, as the young boy clutched for his chest, coughing wildly as he struggled to get breath into his one working lung.

I knew I shouldn't have pushed myself! muddled thoughts filtered through his mind and he keeled over and continued to heave.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Master Teer Ka peered into the training room at one particular Youngling who'd caught her eye. Well, it had been her senses that called it to her attention really, she'd merely been walking by when an intensity had gripped her, and an intensity with a certain darkness to it. The source had beckoned her in, providing loud signals that were hard to ignore.

The human child swung his training saber with a certain ferocity, a recklessness even, one she'd seen before in her enemies. Dark Jedi. Yes, there was a good deal of anger in his blows.

Anger was a dangerous thing, like a ravenous beast. If you tamed the beast, you could use him for your purposes, channeling his strength into your own. But if you weren't careful, if you didn't tame the savage creature, it would devour you. There was a very fine line between the two, and it took her years to find it.

For a Youngling it had to be even more precarious, if not completely impossible. This child had to be a loaded bomb.

She watched very closely as he loudly made his attacks, broadcasting his intentions. Yes his anger was rudimentary. But if it grew unchecked... He'd be dangerous then, yes, dangerous.

As she watched he had a coughing fit, nearly collapsing to his knees. Teer was by no means the most compassionate Jedi, but she rushed forward to catch him in case he fell. She also telekinetically grabbed his saber and called it to her hand.

"Breath easy child," She commanded as she rubbed his back.

[Spite]

The moment he thought he was going to collapse, the youth felt himself landing in something a lot softer than the floor. Well, not landing, per say, but hanging from... if one would see it that way. Mind still in a muddled state, Xiin blinked furiously away at his blurring vision as he continued to cough.

"Breath easy child."

[/i]

Who...?

From the sound of her voice, he could tell there was no danger. Well, at least he hoped so. As a Youngling, Xiin had very little experience with the outside world, if any. No, no experience.

Still, the sound of the woman's voice, whomever she was... was soothing. Slowly but surely, the child's breathing began to stabilize. Breathe... just breathe...

Slowly, as the Youngling's senses returned, he blearily gazed at the figure above him. For some reason... maybe because it was the lighting or something... the figure seemed so... dark and intimidating.

He kind of felt like he was about to get a scolding.

That was when his vision cleared, and he realized just what type of Jedi was cradling him. Scrambling out of he grasp and bowing deeply.

"My apologies Master..." Xiin looked up to see if he could recognize her from the logs. He couldn't. I knew I should have paid more attention in class!

"... Master Jedi." He ended lamely, "I promise that won't happen again."

This was bad, caught by a Jedi Master out in a prohibited training room past curfew. Xiin had the best of luck, didn't he. Shoving those thought aside, he bowed deeply again, with his forehead nearing the floor.

He was done for.[/size][/blockquote]

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"My apologies Master... Master Jedi. I promise that won't happen again."

Teer nodded, even though she was skeptical. Children were infamous for letting the same errors occur again and again, to the point of madness. She'd had to deal with children three times with her Padawans, but her latest was already a reasonably accomplished teenager when she'd gotten him. Yes, there were a few things he had to learn still, and a few habits she was breaking him of, but he was far more obedient and willing to listen. On the whole it was a very fair trade.

This child, he needed a bit of a talking to about more than just violating the rules. And she was going to give him one.

He brushed out of her grasp and bowed, and she dipped her head slightly in response.

"You know what you've done wrong. You might just as easily repeat it again without punishment, which is why I will be reporting this to your Youngling instructor. But there's something more important to discuss with you than your little rule-breaking escapade."

Teer folded her arms behind her back and stared down at him with her intimidating jet-black eyes. Her face wore a scowl that was all-too-commonly seen, and her brow was furrowed.

"Walk with me," Master Ka commanded as she turned and headed out the door, setting about the task of walking him back to the Youngling quarters.

"I can sense much anger in you young one, and that troubles me. If used correctly it could be a powerful ally, but if used in a rough and crude manner it could be your undoing. Do you understand the gravity of your situation?"

[Spite]

"You know what you've done wrong. You might just as easily repeat it again without punishment, which is why I will be reporting this to your Youngling instructor. But there's something more important to discuss with you than your little rule-breaking escapade."

Xiin blinked and gulped, it was already bad enough that this kr---... highly esteemed master was going to report him to his instructor, there was more?! He paled at the thought of what it could be. Was he to be expelled from the order for being such a misfit? Truth be told, he had been expecting that, but not so soon!

"S--... Ma'am?" He stuttered, mentally slapping himself for almost calling her by a man's title.

Straightening for a moment, the child looked up at the Jedi master, only to pale instantly. She looked, for a lack of better wording... furious. Her gaze alone was far more intimidating than any instructor he had ever dreamed of running across.

And I thought they were bad! Xiin mentally screamed, cringing at the sight of a long scar across her eye. So she's seen war! That would explain it!

Suddenly, a feeling of slight excitement jumped up in the Youngling's gut. How glorious it must be to be in the midst of battle, fighting and dying for what you loved! Only heroes really ever had the chance to do something like that.

"Walk with me."

[/color]

Immediately composing himself at the sound of her voice, the Youngling fell into stride alongside the towering Jedi Master. Well, at least, towering to him. Something told him that he was about to receive a rather harsh lecture and decided ahead of time to practically tune the woman out. Instead, his thoughts began to drift away to dreams of grandeur.

"I can sense much anger in you young on--..."[/color]

I wonder what it must be like, to kill? Xiin's thoughts rambled, peering cautiously at the Jedi Master. She's definitely killed before, I mean... of course she has!

For a moment, the boy's eyes caught sight of the woman's lightsaber, which... interestingly had some... marks on it.

"...--ou understand the gravity of your situation?"

"Hmmm?" Xiin hummed, shaking his head quickly the moment he realized how stupid he must have sounded. "My apologies ma'am, I'll do my best to follow the rules from now on."

... That's what she had been talking about... right? Satisfied with his answer, the boy decided to let curiosity get the better of him and pointed at the woman's waist rather rudely. "Master, why is your lightsaber marked?"[/blockquote][/size]

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Hmmm? My apologies ma'am, I'll do my best to follow the rules from now on."

Teer stopped walking, reached out, and cuffed the Youngling in the ear as a more direct punishment for ignoring her. It wasn't as hard as it could have been, but she'd calculated it to sting and hurt. Pain was an excellent teacher and from now on she'd have his attention, lest he risk being hit again.

"Don't dare to ignore me again." Teer glared angrily. She folded her arms and stared intently at him. "When a Jedi Master speaks to you, you will pay attention."

Teer sighed loudly before continuing. "Your anger must be brought under control, or you will be hurt by it. Recklessness will earn you death in the field, and uncontrolled anger will destroy you just as effectively, warping you into a servant of the Dark Side or causing death through lack of control. Look out that window."

Teer gestured to the window overlooking Coruscant, and the millions of lights, each one of them with a purpose. It was a beautiful sight in it's own way, so bright even the stars couldn't be seen. Master Ka wasn't particularly fond of it, but it made for an adequate object lesson.

"There are more lights than you can count out there, and they pale in comparison to the number of people in this galaxy. Among them are dangerous and evil people, and in this life you are given a choice. You stand against them, or you become them. You too will be given that choice all too soon, and unless you arm yourself with iron discipline and bring your anger under control, you will make the wrong choice as surely as the sun rises and sets. And if you make the wrong choice, you will die at the hands of someone like me."

Master Ka let that final phrase sink in.

[Spite]

"Ow!" the boy cried out, rubbing the side of his head as a new found stinging sensation began to ebb into a throbbing one. Abuse! Is she even allowed to do that?!

Although, like anyone his age, Xiin was intimidated by the veteran... he wasn't about to let that go with no response and returned the master's glare with a full blown one of his own. Tch, even instructors were never like that.

"Don't dare to ignore me again. When a Jedi Master speaks to you, you will pay attention."

B-but--... You just ignored me! Kriffin' old hag! Xiin mentally screamed, his temper flaring to the point that he was starting to go red in the face.

"Your anger must be brought under control, or you will be hurt by it. Recklessness will earn you death in the field, and uncontrolled anger will destroy you just as effectively, warping you into a servant of the Dark Side or causing death through lack of control. Look out that window."

[/color]

As angry as he was, this time, the boy paid attention. After all, he was angry, not stupid. Funny how those two usually go hand in hand. Still, he in no way, shape, or form wanted to get beat again.

"Yes Master..." Xiin drawled out, exasperated. He had heard this one before. As if the instructors at the Temple hadn't tried to drill those same words into his head time and time again.

Still, the words held more authority when coming from a Jedi Master... so he continued to pay attention. That and... he kind of felt like his life depended on paying attention.

As the old hag--... er master continued her speech, Xiin looked out the window as she had directed. It was true, there were obviously many many many many many beings in the galaxy, and not all of them were good. But what was so bad about darkness anyways? Wasn't there some sort of grey area with people? Or was it only good and evil, like the Jedi portrayed it?

Obviously, the Jedi saw themselves as good, and the Sith evil... but did the Sith think that way too?

Frowning, the young boy cocked his head to the side, gazing endlessly into the distance.

"Master," he said finally, "have you ever given into your anger?"[/blockquote][/size]

[sparrow]

"Give them a backrub, and then beat them over the head. You have... a most curious way of instructing younglings, Master Ka." Ki'ang Hsun's voice was deep, with a certain booming quality, although it had gotten a bit hoarser over the years. He walked down the hallway slowly, supporting himself with a long staff used as a walking stick.

The old, green nitko enjoyed taking walks at night, sometimes in the surrounding streets of the city, but more often, like tonight, simply in one of the many corridors inside the Temple, moving up and down the towers, enjoying the view from the various viewports and balconies. With many of the Knights and Masters out of the Temple on missions across the galaxy, and with most of the younglings in their beds, he didn't often run into others on these walks.

He gave an amused chuckle. "Only you could take a beautiful view of the city lights and turn it into a lecture about the dark side."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Master, have you ever given into your anger?"

Teer ran through all the times she'd used her anger mentally, and questioned whether or not she'd given in to it. Yes, she'd let it fuel her movements, but she'd never let it control them before, she'd always had her feelings subordinated to her mind...

Before she could respond, a voice interrupted, one that matched the growing presence she'd felt approaching. It didn't exactly come as a surprise, but it wasn't precisely what she'd expected either.

"Give them a backrub, and then beat them over the head. You have... a most curious way of instructing younglings, Master Ka."

Teer turned on her heel and fixed the Nikto with a rather grim look. He certainly was quite the spy, listening in on a conversation and following them down the halls. Quite the accomplishment for an old man.

Not an accomplishment she was about to congratulate him for.

"Only you could take a beautiful view of the city lights and turn it into a lecture about the dark side."

Teer gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to say anything rash. The other Jedi was forty years her senior, and commanded a degree of respect. In his circle he was as important as she was in hers no doubt.

"Some of us," She said icily, "Have to worry about it Master Hsun. We haven't been in... retirement."

[Spite]

Xiin jumped at the sudden sound another voice, spinning on his heel, he reached for where his saber would usually be holstered.

Only... it wasn't there.

Oh yeah, he had thrown the blasted thing when he had had that coughing fit. Great... his lack of responsibility was going to get him into even more trouble. Not to mention, if he had done that in actual combat, he would most definitely be dead.

Tch, that stupid training saber wouldn't save me anyways. Xiin thought grimly. Younglings were not meant to do anything but cower in corners while the older Jedi died all about them. For a moment, the boy grimaced, thoughts drifting back to Dantooine and its fall.

"Give them a backrub, and then beat them over the head. You have... a most curious way of instructing younglings, Master Ka."

Go figure! It was another Master! Why was it the one night Xiin decided to break all the rules that he was Masters were popping out of the ground like space slugs?

Still, the child didn't miss how the Master had ignored his question... yet again.

"Only you could take a beautiful view of the city lights and turn it into a lecture about the dark side."

The child giggled at the old man's remark, yet quickly set himself straight in fear that he might get beat again.

"Some of us, have to worry about it Master Hsun. We haven't been in... retirement."

[/color]

Xiin may have been young, but he could read an atmosphere when he saw one. After all, he wasn't an infant anymore. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! His mind continued to ramble the work like a broken holocron. Thinking about a fight between two masters simply awed his youthful mind.

After a moment, he found himself rude for not paying the proper respects.

"Hello Master..." Frack, he didn't know this one's name either. What was it the old hag had said? Ummmm... ummm.... "Tsoon...? I apologize for the noise."[/blockquote][/size]

[sparrow]

She gave him an annoyed look, as if she thought that he had been spying of them. It wasn't his fault that his ears were still as sharp as they were.

"Of course you haven't." He coughed hoarsely before continuing. "You're still too young to be considering that. Give it another five years or so. But have you thought about which system you might like to watch over when the time comes? It's a good way to still contribute to the Order and the Republic without having to go gallivanting across the galaxy." It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the gallivanting, but some things were best left for the younger, more vigorous folks.

Ki'ang turned towards the boy that was with Master Ka. The boy looked about ten or so, although with humans, Ki'ang often found that his age estimation would be off by a few years. There were still beads of sweat on his forehead. He must have been training hard before he was interrupted. "No need to apologize. It's nice running into people on my walks sometimes, conversing with old friends or meeting new ones. Speaking of which, it is my turn to apologize. I haven't been back at the Temple long enough to learn the names of most of the current younglings, and I don't seem to know yours."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Of course you haven't. You're still too young to be considering that. Give it another five years or so. But have you thought about which system you might like to watch over when the time comes? It's a good way to still contribute to the Order and the Republic without having to go gallivanting across the galaxy."

Teer would have raised an eyebrow if she had eyebrows to raise. Never before had she even given a second of thought to becoming a watchman. She was 58, still capable and relatively young. Yes, more of her life was done than waiting, but she was still a useful tool, a sword for the Jedi.

Or so she liked to think.

Maybe she would do better there though, leave the fighting to the younger Jedi, people like her third Padawan. She could retire to Shili for good and finish her Padawan's training there, the way she'd been doing a few short weeks ago.

No, that was too easy, too comfortable. Maybe soon, but not just yet. She had more to do first. Much more to do.

"Perhaps Shili in a few years," Master Ka admitted. "If I'm convinced my talents can best be put to use there. Comfort must come second to duty, and I don't want anyone to remember me as the woman who didn't do everything she could for the Order."

Teer glanced back at the Youngling and realized she was still holding his training saber in her hand. She extended it to him and fixed her eyes on him.

"Mind your anger and your duties young one."

[Spite]

Watching the exchange between the two masters was extremely confusing for the boy. After all, he had absolutely no idea what lay in wait for those who became masters. Retirement? Settling down? Were these two really that old?

Heh, and he had thought the old hag joke was just a joke more than anything.

"No need to apologize. It's nice running into people on my walks sometimes, conversing with old friends or meeting new ones. Speaking of which, it is my turn to apologize. I haven't been back at the Temple long enough to learn the names of most of the current younglings, and I don't seem to know yours."

Straightening as the elder master directed his attention towards Xiin, the boy's mental trail snapped back to reality.

"Xiin Obairu," the child bowed deeply, "from Dantooine."

For a second the boy grimaced again, but he hid it as quickly as possible. He needn't bother the masters with his personal issues, seeing as how they seemed to have enough issues of their own.

Besides, he didn't like having his life dissected and understood by anyone.

"Mind your anger and your duties young one."

[/color]

Easier said than done old hag... the child thought to himself as he reached out and received his saber, so that's where it had gone. Bowing deeply, the boy recited a line he used quite commonly to the Temple instructors, "Yes master, I will do my best to improve myself."[/size][/blockquote]

[sparrow]

"I don't want anyone to remember me as the woman who didn't do everything she could for the Order," she said. Ki'ang could not help but chuckle a bit at the statement. But perhaps that was a conversation better suited for a later time.

"Dantooine? I spent some time training there once, at the Enclave there, a long time ago," he said wistfully. "It was a good place. Wonderful place...." He trailed off. It wasn't such a wonderful place anymore, having been conquered by the Sith less than a year ago. Such a shame. They'd take it back of course, eventually, but it wouldn't be the same, and some of the damage would never be able to be repaired.

"But oh, enough of that." He coughed and cleared his throat, nearly missing the grimace that briefly flashed across the face of the boy. He nearly dismissed it, but he could sense a certain tension in the air, and it wasn't coming all from Teer.

"You look troubled, Xiin. Is there something on your mind?"

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

The mention of Dantooine bothered Master Ka as well. The enclave there had been her home and her bastion for long years, but she'd had the misfortune of being away when the Sith had attacked.

Some might have thought of avoiding the ferocious battle as beneficial, however Teer knew better. Battle was her duty, and she should have been there in the thick of it instead of cowering on Coruscant.

Then Rhen Var had fallen too, and it had become very clear to everyone but the Council that the Sith were at war with the Jedi. Well they could bury their heads in the sand for another year or two, but sooner or later they'd have to cope with an attack that couldn't be so easily dismissed. Eventually they'd be at the gates of Coruscant, howling like wolves. And then the Jedi would strike back, slay the beasts, and reclaim their hallowed enclaves.

On that day, Teer would be in the spearhead. She'd wreak havoc on the Sith for what they'd done the very second the Jedi Council allowed her to engage them.

Soon. Soon it would happen.

Patience was hardly her strong suit though. In fact she felt the burning need to meditate in peace for a while.

She looked the other Jedi Master in the eye and fixed him with a stare. "Please ensure this unruly Youngling returns to his quarters intact. May the Force be with you."

Master Ka turned on her heel and sped off down the corridor at her own brisk pace, vanishing around a distant corner on her way back to her own room.