Mooney x Kella

[Moonfire]

Character Name: Kailani Quix
Character Source: SWU, the one and only =3
Character Faction/Alignment: Fringe
Type of Roleplay: Social? Combative? I'm fine to go with the flow.
Roleplay Requirements: Let's have fun!
Reason for Request: I wanted some real feedback on both this particular character and on my writing style in general. I already know my comma usage is a serious issue >_>
Notes:
Roleplay:

The liquid burned on the way down, sweet hot fire in her throat as Kailani downed the shot, hitting the table with a sharp clatter of glass on metal. Tonight was a drink-to-oblivion kind of night, much like every other night. The 'Ole Boho' was docked for the night, Asyr and the others off on some deal or another on the Smuggler's Moon, leaving Kailani comfortably alone. At least, thats what she told herself, downing shot after shot, drowning the curious feeling deep within her gut.

"Ay, Quix. What're ya doin' this parta town?" Cooed a velvety voice as a Zeltron slide onto the bar stool next to her, a wide grin plastered over his face, orange eyes flicking up and down the lithe woman.

"Take a picture, Vex, it'll last longer." Kailani said without a glance, pale fingers tapping the bar impatiently. "Where the frell is Curtis?" She muttered, green eyes flicking back and forth across the bar, trying to locate the bar tender.

"Come on, Quix. Don't be like tha'." Pink skin caressed hers, an arm snaking slowly about her shoulders as Kailani visibly deflated. Why this guy? Why tonight?

"I'm not in the mood tonight, Vex. Whadoya want? Hey! Hey bar-keep!" She shouted, displacing the arm about her neck as she jumped and waved to catch the attention of the Mon Calamari tending the bar returning from the back with a round of drinks for a group of particularly rowdy Mandalorians. Holding up the shot glass and two fingers, the message was clear, another round comin' up!

"Come on sweetheart, do I really needa reason ta speak with a loverly lady like yerself?" Another dazzling smile crossed the Zeltron's face as he gently pressed on, the arm now wrapping about Kailani's waist.

Eyes bore into the amber liquid, mulling over her options for the night, would she indulge Vex, let him pay the tab and probably have a decent night she'd only half regret in the morning. Or would she sit there feeling oddly salty?

Decisions, decisions.

[Kella]

Yay! ^^ Let's get this rolling, shall we? :3

Mar 19, 2012 21:15:26 GMT -5 Moonfire said:

The liquid burned on the way down, sweet hot fire in her Kailani's throat as Kailani downed the shot, hitting the table Kailani smacked the empty shot against the counter with a the sharp clatter of glass on metal. Tonight was a drink-to-oblivion kind of night, much like every other night. The 'Ole Boho' ((OH IT'S A SHIP. >.> <.< I'mspecial. Though, should be italics instead of quotes. xP )) was docked for the night, Asyr and the others off on some deal or another on the Smuggler's Moon, leaving Kailani comfortably alone. At least, thats what she told herself, downing shot after shot, drowning the curious feeling deep within her gut.

"Ay, Quix. What're ya doin' this parta town?" Cooed a velvety voice as a Zeltron slide onto the bar stool next to her Kailani, a wide grin plastered over his face, orange eyes flicking up and down the lithe woman.

"Take a picture, Vex, it'll last longer." Kailani said without a glance eyes never leaving the empty glass, pale fingers tapping the bar impatiently. "Where the frell is Curtis?" She muttered, green eyes flicking back and forth across the bar, trying to locate the bar tender for some snippet of the bartender.

"Come on, Quix. Don't be like tha'." Pink skin caressed hers, an arm snaking slowly about her shoulders as Kailani visibly deflated. Why this guy? Why tonight? ((For some reason 'Why this guy' sounds more like she didn't know him beforehand, so maybe 'Why Vex'?))

"I'm not in the mood tonight, Vex. Whadoya want? Hey! Hey bar-keep!" She shouted, displacing the arm about her neck Vex's arm as she jumped and waved to catch the attention of the finally-spotted bartender. The Mon Calamari tending the bar was returning from the back with a round of drinks for a group of particularly rowdy Mandalorians. Kailani held Holding up the shot glass and two fingers. the Her message was clear, another round comin' up!

"Come on sweetheart, do I really needa reason ta speak with a loverly lady like yerself?" ((She didn't really ask why, so much as she told him she wasn't in the mood, so perhaps a different stalker comment would be more appropriate. :3 )) Another dazzling smile crossed the Zeltron's face as he gently pressed on, the his arm now wrapping about Kailani's waist.

Kailani's eyes bore into the amber liquid as she mulled over her options for the night; would she indulge Vex, let him pay the tab and probably have a decent night she'd only half regret in the morning? Or would she sit there feeling oddly salty?

Decisions, decisions.

There were a couple parts that maybe could have had more humor/impact, like playing around with gut feelings (knocking back that many shots would certainly inspire a particular feeling in the gut. xD) or with her decisions at the end. Sometimes it's good to play around with phrasing/the details of the ideas and see if one can squeak some more irony or humor or contrast or impact out of them.

Anywho, my turn! ^^

---

Naavechi did not usually have bad days. Certainly some days went better than others, but rarely did a day prove to have absolutely no redeeming value.

It was one of those days.

She needed to get away. Away from the office, away from the pile of work, away from the demanding clients -- even away from Rusty. As much as she loved the Graarl, absence did indeed make the heart grow fonder, and their relationship was in need of a little dose.

Of course, when Naavechi started to feel the eyes drift to follow her as she walked through the bar, she wondered if going there had been such a good idea after all. She was rather remarkable, even given the diversity in this part of the Galaxy. Her skin was covered in reds and blues and greens and yellows, bold patterns and markings that were not, in fact, tattoos, but the actual natural pigment of her skin. Her eyes, on the other hand, were jet black, pupil and iris and sclera and all. Apparently that made her gaze unnerving at times. Her hair was also black, though not entirely plain, as it was woven into hundreds of remarkably fine braids tipped with beads of earthy tones.

Furthermore, it was obvious that Naavechi was young and fit -- she managed to turn even more heads than the twi'leks, which was saying something. Naavechi shrugged it off as novelty.

Usually, anyway, tonight she was feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders, and shrugging of any sort felt nearly impossible. Most of the time, Naavechi found solace in landscapes -- even cityscapes -- but she'd tried that already. It had only reminded her of all the work to do, and she'd been unable to see the shape and form -- only the numbers.

Naavechi sighed deeply as she approached the bar. There was a woman there, already, with a Zeltron man. Naavechi took a seat to the woman's left, leaving an empty seat between them out of custom. The concept of personal space was somewhat foreign in Nihrani society but Naavechi tended to adapt well.

Tended to, tonight she wasn't feeling good at much of anything. Naavechi paid little attention to her neighbors or the barkeep, instead finding the brushed metal pattern of the counter to be utterly captivating, until the barkeep loomed and offered his services.

"Surprise me," Naavechi said with a sigh, hardly caring that she was probably setting herself up for a bad decision or two.

Not like the day could get any worse.