Taking Flight (Cain)

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Master Teer Ka stood on the roof of the Jedi Temple, a rare grin etched onto her severe features. Her full lips were pulled up, revealing her fangs in a very toothy smile. The Togruta Jedi was, to say the least, the happiest she'd been in months.

Every now and again, it was necessary to address one's own interests, and to provide something purely for the self. For decades Teer had buried herself in the service of the Jedi, doing a thankless job of rooting out Dark Jedi and training Knights, but she'd always neglected her own wishes and need for recreation, until just recently.

On Corellia she'd gotten that brilliant idea, entirely on the spur of the moment. As soon as she'd spotted it, she'd evolved a whole plan of action to act on. It had been a rapid whirlwind of events, but the results were magnificent. She had her very own pet now, a beautiful Corellian Banshee Bird that she'd christened Ashla. All hers. She owned all two kilograms of the zebra-striped, razor-winged, and red-throated bird of prey.

There was an old adage that pets and masters resembled each other. If true, Teer certainly didn't mind. Ashla was fearsome, majestic, beautiful, and supremely daunting. Those were all traits she wouldn't mind for herself. Not in the least bit.

Above her in the blue sky, the Banshee Bird rolled in a circle before bending her wings and streaking into a dive like a bullet, letting out an otherworldly scream. An unfortunate thrantcill that had strayed from its flock almost froze in the air and was struck by Ashla, who braked her dive and came gliding in to the rooftop next to Teer.

The Jedi watched as her pet ate her dinner, in much the same way she herself would eat a thimiar, the rodent and staple food of her native Shili. That was nature's way.

"Good girl," Teer praised in her softest voice, though her customary huskiness still hung in the air.

It was at that moment her senses told her someone was approaching, and she turned to see who it was.

[Cain]

"That should take care of it, sir," the medical droid droned, applying a kolto patch wrapped in bandages to Si Quan's right thigh, "Be sure to leave that on over night so the wound has time to disinfect, sir."

Si smiled, "Thank you, I will," he answered, slipping back into his Jedi robes.

"Be careful in your future endeavors, sir."

His injuries treated, Si left the Jedi Temple medical bay. His body had been healed, though mentally he was still exhausted. Battling Sith on Metellos only to return home to endless debates with fellow High Council members had left Si Quan seeking the familiar refuge of silence and serenity that only nature could provide. The gardens of the temple courtyard offered fresh air, but not much in the way of privacy. For these sorts of situations only the wide open spaces found on the roof of the temple would do.

With weary steps Si marched himself up the stairs that led to the temple aerie. His leg muscles ached in protest to the climb the entire way until at last he exited out into the open air. Si had expected to be met by the peaceful hum of speeders far below along with the gentle whip of the wind. Instead, Si's ears were beset upon by a piercing wail that induced a cringe. The offender was a Corellian Banshee Bird, certainly a peculiar sight among the duracrete jungle of Coruscant. The boisterous bird swooped in for a landing on the temple's roof, settling next a Togruta Jedi Master Si recognized to be Teer Ka. She had been with the Order almost as long as Si had, though she was still one of the masters he'd known the least about. He had heard other masters speak of her combat prowess and her abilities as a leader, though outside of that Si didn't know her at all.

"Interesting company you keep," Si said as he approached, foregoing the conventional greeting, assuming the other Jedi had long since been aware of his presence, "Though I suppose it's no less disagreeable than a classroom full of Younglings," he continued with a lighthearted chuckle.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer recognized the approaching figure immediately, attaching a name to the face, though she had never personally met the man. Si Quan. From what she understood, he was a decade older than her. From what she saw, he looked younger. She knew he was a well-known teacher, and a master of Soresu. And of course, he was a High Councilor. That alone merited the quick dip of her head that constituted a deferential nod mixed with a bow. She abstained from pressing her palms together in greeting, determining it was too formal given the greeting he'd extended.

Somehow she had the feeling he wasn't as keenly into the company of her predatory bird as she was. Her wide grin was vanished now, replaced by her usual serious expression, as if she was perpetually on the verge of a frown, or of a serious lecture.

"Ashla!" Teer called, before promptly issuing a command in the lilting Togruti language. She had been training the bird to obey commands in her native language, and exactly as she'd intended, the bird flew to her extended arm, resting on the leather gauntlet she'd taken to wearing. Ashla cocked her head curiously, an inquiring look in her eyes as she stared directly at the newly arrived Councilor.

With the bird recovered, Teer could now direct her full attention to her superior.

Teer would have found the class of Younglings far more intimidating than the Banshee Bird could ever be. Somehow she felt she knew which of the two options Si Quan would have chosen, in the same sense he likely knew which she would elect to have. Despite all that, she did find the joke somewhat amusing, which merited a hint of a smile.

"Councilor. I haven't faced a class of Younglings since I was a Padawan on Dantooine. I can say that Ashla is far more cooperative."

That was really more a testament to her pet's trainability and loyalty than it was to any Youngling's stubbornness. Ashla was a true gem, and, like Teer's Padawan, was the closest thing she would ever have to a child.

Belatedly, it occurred to her that the other Jedi hadn't come up to the roof solely to say hello to her. No, he was there because he wanted to be alone, or because he wanted to find solace. The courtyards were often full, but the roof was almost always empty.

"Is there something on your mind Master Si Quan?"

[Cain]

Si returned Teer's bow with a nod and a soft smile, holding his arms crossed behind his back. Master Quan certainly wasn't a stickler for formalities. One might argue that nearly thirty years working with Younglings had something to do with it. Those children could carry on and wail as good as any Corellian bird of prey. Even so, there was nothing in the galaxy Si Quan could imagine to be more rewarding than instructing the Order's youngest members. It kept the old man young at heart, and the proof was written all over his face as it was devoid of the ridged seriousness of his Togruta contemporary.

Ashla... cute name. Si thought as Teer called the bird back to her.

"Councilor. I haven't faced a class of Younglings since I was a Padawan on Dantooine. I can say that Ashla is far more cooperative."

Si laughed, "You may be right," he conceded, "though I'm fairly certain she didn't start that way. Cooperation first requires care and a mutual commitment. I suppose it's the same with Younglings, though the process never really ends as the mature move on and new young minds take their place."

"Is there something on your mind Master Si Quan?"

Si paused to consider the question. He'd almost forgotten why he'd come up to the temple roof in the first place, "Ah, yes, quite a great deal I'm afraid," he admitted, "This business with the Sith and the Blades has been weighing on the Council, as I'm sure you're aware. I come here often during such times."

Si stepped up to the ledge overlooking the Galactic Capital. The Senate building could barely be made out in the distance through a slight screen of cloud cover. There he sat himself down, inhaling deeply and taking in his surroundings. "You're free to join me, if you'd like," he offered.

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer nodded. Si Quan was right. It hadn't started that way, it had taken time. Of course her own powers in the Force had helped, molding the bird to her and her to it, forming a bond of decades in a few weeks. But the operative point was the same. You had to work for all good things. And as to that work with Younglings...

It must have been like building a bridge that was never finished, bailing out the sea with a teaspoon...

Like her own fight against the servants of the Dark Side.

Well, futile or not, some fights had to be fought, even if they could never be won. Master Ka might not be able to destroy the Sith and the Dark Jedi, but she had to to help ensure the safety of the Order in the same way a Youngling Instructor had to teach to prepare the next generation, without exception.

Yes, in a way what they did was the same.

And as to what stressed him? Well, Teer could safely say her own concerns were similar. The 'business with the Sith,' as he put it, was precisely what had been weighing on her ever since the assault on Dantooine. She'd just recently taken action and joined the Blades on Seraphim.

Teer stepped forward as she was invited to join Master Quan, lowering herself into a cross-legged position on the rooftop by his side. She rested her arm, bird and all, on her thigh and stroked the feathers of Ashla's head with her free hand as she contemplated what words to say.

"I recently joined the Blades. I was tired of inaction. Tired of indecision. Tired of debate. But now I have to wonder what use I'll be. I've been pouring over tactics and strategy for weeks now, but I can't help but feel unprepared. I don't think the Order was ready for this. We weren't prepared, and for all our wisdom we couldn't see the warning signs until it was too late."

[Cain]

Si Quan sat cross-legged, palms down on his thighs, listening quietly as Master Ka spoke. She admitted to having joined the Blades. This was not surprising. She certainly was not alone. Many of the Order's best and brightest had heeded the call to war, including several members of the Jedi Council. Si could sympathize with their feelings. He too had grown weary of endless debates in which little ever seemed to be accomplished. Mostly Si was concerned about what the rift between the Blades and the Jedi who had chosen to abstain was doing to the Order.

"For those who've yet to experience it, there's no way to 'be ready' for war," Si commented, his gaze still held skyward, examining the shapes of passing clouds, "I'm not sure if the Blades tell their new recruits that before they sign on. It changes you, for better or worse, as I'm sure you already know. It's difficult to prepare even a Jedi for losing that first comrade; taking that first life. To charge into battle against an enemy that until that point had been an intangible target of ire, only to find brothers, sisters... old friends. It can be overwhelming for even seasoned Masters, much less Padawans."

Si stopped himself mid thought. He recognized he had a propensity to ramble, as Jedi of his advanced years often did. Master Ka was no spring chicken herself. Si wasn't really telling her anything she didn't know already.

"Forgive me," Si apologized, the smile returning to his face, "I don't usually spend my free time on Coruscant deep in thought. People are often surprised when I tell them this. They consider us Jedi as philosophers who spend all our time locked away in our monolithic temple pondering the great mysteries of the universe. But we know better," Si said with a self-assuring nod. "A Jedi realizes true wisdom is knowing when to think, and when to listen. I come here to listen. I may not always know the way forward, but with the Force as an ally, I'm never lost. War may bring pain and death and tremendous cost to those caught up in it, but there will always be the Force. Knowing that, coming here to remind myself of that, that's what gives me the strength I need."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

"Yes, I know." Teer added drily once Si Quan had finished. She was well aware of that, and the standard speech on the dangers of war. She was even more aware of the dangers of inaction. Luckily she was in the prime mood to be patient, with an exquisite view of Galactic City and a beautiful pet hovering on her arm.

When called upon for pardon, the Togruta master waved her hand dismissively and said two words. "It's nothing."

However she wasn't going to simply let it go. No, she had to make it clear that she wasn't some bushy-eyed young Knight who didn't know what she was getting into. She felt the compulsive need to share her quality.

"I am prepared for war. My tenure as a Jedi has seen many deaths..." One orange finger traced the 33 indentations in her saber, that marked her lethal victories in duels. Yes, she had seen death, and it no longer frightened her. It was like an equal, a shadowy figure she had respect for, and that she knew would one day claim her. She was beyond fear of it.

"As you may be aware, my second Padawan fell to the dark side, and I was forced to kill him. I know what it is like to face those close to you who have fallen. My whole life in the Order has been preparing me for this war, preparing me to take up the banner of the Jedi and fight for the Republic. I don't expect glory or praise for it. I only want the satisfaction of service."

[Cain]

As he had before, Si sat and listened to Master Ka as she spoke. She was very sincere and spoke without even a hint of trepidation. Admirable when speaking of such subjects. Si himself could not claim to be nearly so certain. Then Teer mentioned her Padawan, one who fell to the dark side and was killed at her hands.

In that moment Si noticed the Togruta examine the series of strange notches carved into her lightsaber. He couldn't help but ponder over the connection. It was clear that the notches weren't simply scars of battle, as they were too uniform to have been anything but deliberate. A Jedi's lightsaber was a reflection of it's wielder, and thus Si Quan was naturally curious about the purpose behind this one. He could hazard a guess, though it would be better to hear it from Teer directly.

Si closed his eyes, taking a moment to reflect, "I'm afraid I must apologize again, Master Ka. It's difficult for me to turn off 'The Teacher', even in the presence of other Masters. I did not intend to call your preparedness into question. Just an old man giving voice to his own scattered thoughts."

In truth Si's concerns were for the young Padawans and Knights who eagerly joined the call of the Blades, all too ready to run off and meet the Sith in their arena. The Jedi were peace keepers, guardians, but not an army. There were far better ways to counter the threat of the Sith than to meet them blow for blow, murder for murder. Si didn't need to ask to know that Teer Ka didn't share his point of view. Rather, Si Quan brought his attention back to the markings on her Jedi weapon.

"If I might beg your indulgence for just one more question, Master Ka. I was curious about that lightsaber of yours. I can't say I've ever seen a Jedi use such markings before. Do they hold some special significance?"

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer almost chuckled when the Councilor described himself as an old man. Really he wasn't that old, and with Force-enhanced lifespans he had a very good chance of spending many more decades providing instruction. If he was an old man, that would make her an old woman. That wasn't a reality she was ready to face. Not yet.

The Togruta Jedi had a feeling they weren't about to agree on the war anytime soon. It was a pity the issue was divisive among the Order. Jedi needed to be united now more than ever, and even the High Council couldn't agree. Of course it wouldn't be wise to bring her recent doubts over the Council into the conversation. Knowing one's target audience was essential.

When Si Quan asked his question, Teer glanced down at the lightsaber her hand was on, realizing she'd been tracing the notches with her finger absentmindedly. Now there was another topic he was bound to dislike even more than her joining the war effort.

Few Jedi understood what Teer had done.

"These," She began her answer, "Are my memories. Every duel I fight where a life is taken, I have machined into my saber as a record of what has transpired. Every single mark matches a person, whose face I can clearly remember. This saber is a reminder to me. A reminder of where I have been and what I have done over my years in the Jedi."

Ashla seemed captivated by the metallic cylinder, reaching out with her beak to nibble at the lightsaber. Instead of swatting her away, Teer stroked the feathers on her head again, smiling thinly.

[Cain]

Si nodded silently while Teer described the purpose behind the notches in her lightsaber. Memories... of death? This Teer Ka certainly was different. For a moment Si tried to imagine how many notches his own weapon might have if he'd done something similar. He may have needed a new lightsaber by now. Those were not memories Si held fondly, nor ones he particularly wanted to dwell upon. Certainly they were memories he didn't need help remembering. Such things are impossible to forget.

"I'm sure each has its story," Si interjected, "It's interesting though... that you make such ceremony of death when one could just as easily make notches for Padawans Knighted, or lives saved, rather than extinguished." He paused, a wide smile on his face as he turned his head to show Master Ka, "Don't worry, I'll spare you the full lecture. I'm sure you have your reasons, even if you chose not to share them. We all have our little idiosyncrasies..."

Si's attention turned to his right thigh, the kolto wrapped around it gradually repairing the wound. It had only been 24 hours, and the pain remained as fresh as when his flesh had first been split by so many shards of glass. Master Quan's body still shook as he struggled to contain the excitement, the thrill and the surge of energy such pain gave him. Embracing and using pain for power. It is a dark technique that Si developed as a means of survival, and one that he knew the Council would never approve of. Even so, it had saved Si's life and the lives of others on more than one occasion. Sometimes defending the Jedi Code meant breaking it. With that in mind, Si couldn't truly condemn Master Ka, or even any of the Blades for that matter. He could only have faith that they understood what they were getting themselves into.

"I wish you well on Seraphim and in your endeavors beyond, Master Ka," Si said, settling back into a meditative position. "It is my hope that when you return to us, your lightsaber needn't be marred any further."

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the response she'd been half-expecting. Why was it that so few Jedi understood what was meant by her personal markings? It was tempting to simply embrace their misunderstanding and loudly proclaim them as trophies if that was always the reaction.

They weren't of course. They were memories, in much the same way someone would keep trinkets to help them remember a particular person. She remembered particular duels this way. In fact, by recording them this way, she was even honoring her fallen foes.

But no. Lectures instead.

There was something Teer could distinctly remember from before her time as a Jedi, from the woman who she called 'mother.' The middle-aged Togruta had whispered soft homilies to her daughter, and one of them was very widely distributed throughout the galaxy. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

While irritation rippled off of her, the Togruta Jedi said nothing at all, instead turning her midnight eyes onto her pet bird.

After Si Quan's next round of dialogue, Teer realized two things. In the first place they were two diametrically opposed personalities and, as such, were never going to agree. Some battles were futile, and a war of words would do absolutely no good to anyone. The second realization that came fast on the heels of the first was that he clearly wanted to be alone. She decided to oblige him.

The Togruta woman uncrossed her legs and rose to her feet, staring off at the skyline for one more moment before she left the rooftop again.

"I'm afraid, Master Si Quan, that for as long as I live and the Jedi Order faces foes, my lightsaber will be 'marred' again. That is my duty ever since I became a Jedi Guardian. May the Force be with you."

Teer turned and walked off towards her quarters, sharing a knowing look with Ashla. They were going to have to find a different time to visit the roof.