Dutch Sampson vs Kailani Quix

[Rugs]

THUNDERDOME SOMETHING SOMETHING FIGHT GO BATTLE KILL BOOM

Two of our moderators will be presenting an example duel for the SWU Tourney :3

Dutch's Dutch Sampson and Moonfire's Kailani Quix will be going at it for your viewing pleasure.

THE VENUE

The open front of this tropical bar looks out to a beautiful union of sky, surf, and sand. A relaxing view, for relaxing souls. Right?

GO GO

FIGHT FIGHT WIN WIN

And first up iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss

*flips coin*

Dutch :3

[Dutch]

"...There's really an umbrella in my drink."

Was all Dutch could think to grumble as he stared at the chilled drink in his hands. His usual whiskey on the rocks was adorned with a vibrant pink umbrella, and it was all the man could do to not look at the floral abomination in his beverage. His grey eyes would drift over the other patrons at the beach-side cabana cantina. Damn Freelanders... was all he could think as he looked around. Freeland was a well known vacation spot at the opposite side of the continent from Homestead. It had taken him days to fly his Windchaser there without being seen by Sith eyes... only to find his contact dead. And so there Dutch sat, and watched as men in floral printed shirts pranced about with way too tan bimbos in not so much clothing. The latter half wasn't that bad, not bad at all. He sighed and sipped his swill for a moment before a gaggle of the far too white toothed men began to walk by, discussing a new clothing store that had opened. Dutch snorted audibly and laughed at them before he took another drink.

They looked at Dutch as he laughed and stopped talking to stare at him. Dutch continued gulping down his whiskey as he looked sideways at the group. A few moments went by, Dutch downing his entire whiskey with his grey eyes never leaving the clan of dirt bags. Finally he set his glass down and turned on the stool to look them over. Four young men, probably late teens early twenties. Al's age. But without his smarts. Dutch would have to remember to punch his little brother for sending him to this fruitcake of a bar as a meeting point.

"We got a problem?"

Asked Dutch with a lift of his eyebrows. He was unarmed at that moment, his weapons stashed in the compartments of his ride. Not that these punks were really a threat, and he did need to try and lay low. Unfortunately it seemed the boys of summer decided differently.

"Yeah, we got a problem hick. You don't seem to know who runs this place. My dad owns this cantina. And that means what I say, goes. And what I say, is I don't want no plains-born redneck in my bar."

Dutch began to laugh, his hand clutched at the bar as he leaned back and chortled. Gorram entitled little guy! He thought as he wiped a tear from his eye, coaxed out by the DLA leader's laugh. It seemed pretty-boy didn't appreciate men laughing at him. Dutch opened his eyes in time to see the speaker's fist just before it collided with his face. Dutch stumbled clear around his stool into another patron, where a hefty bosom absorbed his face as he fell.

He pulled himself out and to his feet as blood poured from his nose. The kid could pack a punch, Dutch gave him that. His eyes looked the blonde woman he fell into up and down and smiled coyly.

"Damn. Now I see why you keep those around!"

Dutch said with a wink before he then realized that his nose had bled all over the short blonde. Never a good way to meet a lady for the first time...

[Moonfire]

"Almost… Almooooost.” The blonde mumbled under her tequila perfumed breath, long fingers dancing over the strap of a particularly corpulent human businessman’s watch, reflexively feeling it loosen bit by bit with every light, flirty touch.

“Whut wuuuzz that?” Theon asked, his voice slurred and dulled by the copious amounts of alcohol the pair had ingested as the sun lowered across the sky of the beach scene, morning turning easily into late afternoon as he drawled.

“Nothin’ sweetheart,” Kailani said with a wide smile, fingers retracting from the shimmering watch band to gently stroke the withered, leather-skin of the man’s horrifically tanned wrist. “Tell me about that time ya wrangled with a shark again, hero. ” She said with a wink, simultaneously tapping the counter of the tiki-cantina with her index finger, signaling another round of shots for the pair. She’d certainly need it to get through this tale again. The bar-keep delivered the clear shots and the man, who seemed more reptilian than human began his thrilling re-telling of the time his good pal Kevin saw a shark from a great distance while they were fishing. A brilliant story no-one ever tired of, he assured her. Right.

Her fingers continued their dance, slipping and whirling around the hefty timepiece , feeling the rough texture of the sizeable gems that studded it as the rich man droned on, unfettered by the sudden tension in the air. Theon’s story reached its most exciting part, detailing incoherently how the shark swam lazily past their boat a few yards away and the pair decided to chuck various empty bottles at the 3ft monstrosity to discourage its wrath and obvious blood-lust.

The end, in which Theon himself landed a killing blow to the beast with a well-placed throw of his empty whiskey bottle was cut short just as Kailani’s fingers found their prize, wrapping the freed timepiece up in a vice like grip. ‘Great success!’ She thought only to be roughly pulled from her internal celebration as a large, and rather heavy vagrant fell face first into her generous cleavage, flailing wildly.

“What the frell!” She shouted suddenly, fingers still latched tight as she attempted to pocket the watch, taking advantage of the sudden commotion. Thrusting it hard into the microscopic pocket of her short-shorts the woman gave Dutch a hard shove with her free hand, face twisted up in an angry snarl. After a moment the man, a grizzled looking thing (certainly not the sort that hung around this part of town she noted) righted himself, blood pouring out his nose as he smiled winningly at her, commenting on her physical assets as he did.

For a moment, Kailani’s alcohol addled mind considered her options, looking down at the messy red streaks the ruined the silver sequins of her shirt and dripped unattractively across her chest. She could let this go, content with her prize and buy herself a new ship to get off this stinking pile of refuse-excuse for a planet and get somewhere homey and civilized, like Nar Shaddaa. Or she could kill this vulgar offender. Oh! Or maaaaaybe, just maybe all of the above! He might even already have a ship, that would mean more money for booze. That was always nice.

“Ya, okay stranger?” Kailani said gently, patting his face with a tender touch, gears turning slowly as she spoke, appraising the bloodied face of her latest adversary. With a look over Dutch’s shoulder Kailani addressed the young men that had most certainly caused the situation, snickering at first but then dumb-founded over the woman’s reaction to be violated and bloodied in one smooth-move. “Now, ya’ll should be ashamed of yerselves. That’s no way to treat people.” She scolded before turning back to Dutch.

“Here, I know what’ll fix you up. Lemme buy ya a drink.” She said with toothy grin, twisting to address the bar keep. “Bring me one Chosen Bantha Thunder, extra glowy for this gentleman right here.” Her expression polite and serene, the picture of friendliness.

The bar-keeper though looked visibly confused, asking her to repeat her order before finally stuttering.

“I-I’m sorry m’am. It’s against resort policy to serve drinks that could be… well… Umm… Lethal to our more human guests.”

Kailani’s smile never faltered. “Oh that’s quite alright,” she said much the bartenders relief, still tenderly patting Dutch’s face. “I’ll just have to kill him the old fashioned way.” She remarked, as though commenting on the weather.

With a single smooth movement the quick woman leapt from her seat, smashing her palm hard into Dutch’s cheek, aiming to slam his face into the counter of the bar as she did. Sometimes one just had to get their hands a little messy, no avoiding it really.

[Rugs]

This is the point where I always have to go copypasta the grading categories cause I never remember off the top of my head....

OH LOOK HERE THEY ARE

Round 1

Dutch
Effort: 3/5
Fairness: 5/5
Detail: 3/5
Coolness: 2/5
Bonus: 0/2
Comments: So, as a start, I always keep first round scores intentionally low--coolness especially. Gotta leave somewhere to go when the fight actually gets going, as posts tend to improve as a duel progresses. But the score is deceptive; this was a good post, and I enjoyed the way you tied it into Dutch's own narrative to make it a part of something larger. Good job. And lolbewbs :3

Moonfire
Effort: 3/5
Fairness: 5/5
Detail: 4/5
Coolness: 2/5
Bonus: 0/2
Comments: Same goes for this post as well. I could give this a much higher score, but I'm expecting greater things from you as well, as duels goes an, and there'd be no way to show the improvement. Good detail, fun set up, and a post that was, all-in-all, wonderfully Kailani. I'm looking forward to the continuing dynamic between these two.

Total:

OH GOD NOW I HAVE TO DO MATH

Dutch: 13
Moonfire: 14

Moonz with the early lead, but it's very slight. We'll see what Round 2 brings.

Carry on :3

[Dutch]

"Yeah... much better now in fact."

Dutch said with a grin and a few small nods. He didn't know if it was the alcohol, the blood loss, or the massive rack before him, but Dutch felt like he could trust the little blonde. He listened at the dumbfounded guffaws from behind him, and all he could think was You dweebs are sooooo jealous! After that Dutch felt his mind space out for a few moments, his eyes would glaze over and his head would still nod every now and then as if he had reached some impossible realization, and humbly accepted it as truth. And then the blonde's words brought him back.

“Oh that’s quite alright... I’ll just have to kill him the old fashioned way...

Those grey eyes of his would blink a couple times in confusion and a light giggle bubbled from his lips. Did she really just say what he think she did?

"W-wait-what?"

Was all the man could stammer before that tiny warm hand pushed with surprising strength. His senses slurred on the trip down, but cracked him back into reality right as his head smacked into the wooden bar with a massive thud. His right ear stung with intense heat, making it ring as he rebounded off the bar and stumbled. Dutch's right hand would clutch at his face before he spoke.

"OH! Dammit! Really!? Like really really? That's how it gonna be lady? Who smacks a dude into the bar for a motorboat?! Honestly! GAH! Do you even realize how much this stings? Like do you? Sithspit!"

He would shake his head and straighten his posture. Blood now leaked from a small split on the right side of his forehead and Dutch would crack his knuckles menacingly. If these highborn geeks wanted a real tumble, he'd give them one. Dutch's hand would slide into his right jacket pocket, and a matching set of brass knuckles were pulled out to be slid onto his fingers.

"Y'know. Ya'll are lucky my sparring partners, are a girl, and a boy about your age."

Dutch growled with a nod to the two respective parties. It was true though, between Mo and Al, who were two of the toughest sparring partners he knew, he figured he had this down. His grey eyes would size them up quickly, trying to decide how to approach. Any boxer worth his salt didn't just start swinging, it was as much a science as an art.

"Let's dance~"

He nearly sang as his hands darted to a stool next to him to lift it. Dutch darted forward and swung the stool like a club to smack two of the dude-bros in the head before he tossed it at a third. He spun on the balls of his feet swiftly to heft an uppercut towards the blonde, his strikes quick. His clothes rustled loudly as Dutch's arms would pump out a few punches.

Right cross. Left cross. Jab. Jab. Uppercut.

The man didn't even hesitate if an attack landed, Dutch knew he needed to keep the pressure on, lest the blonde found a moment to smack his face into more furniture...

[Moonfire]

Feeling the sharp crack of skull against wood Kailani released Dutch, patting her loose top and tight shorts for any sort of weaponry that might be lingering in her personal inventory. “Frell” She whispered, surveying the bar as Dutch moaned beside her. No such luck, all of her blaster pistols and knives were gone, sitting aboard her lost ship as it made its way to Zeltros without her.

No matter. Improvised weapons were the best weapons.

As Dutch snarled and wailed Kailani hopped from her position on her seat onto the bar, heavy booted feet making a satisfying thud as she landed on its surface. Breaking out into a run the woman circled the tiki bar, collecting a variety of glasses in her small arms she did before starting to toss them at the lumbering boxer and his dude-bro pals. A shot glass here, a wine here, even an entire margarita found its way before crashing unceremoniously amongst the writhing bodies of the fallen.

Patrons, now completely aware of the situation took to hiding under tables or fleeing to the beach as furniture was sung widely, Dutch wielding a chair against the more unsavory ones as the others cowered in corners. A twinge of sadness filled the woman she watched, almost hoping for an all-out bar brawl, a spindly bug-alien its flailing face tentacles, or a handsome Echani watching her back as the entire bar mobbed around them.

But this wasn't the sort of crowd to form the allout brawls of her memory, a fact that greatly saddened Kailani as she returned to her starting place atop the bar counter with surprising agility. Dutch punched wildly, though precisely, with all the skill of a true ring fighter at the last standing man. A smile touched the blonde's lips as she tossed her final cup, hoping to strike the pair as her fingers turned to the wellstocked bar itself.

Grabbing a bright green bottle at random she slammed it down on the edge of the counter, cursing loudly as it merely shattered in her hand, soaking the counter in a spray of champagne. Kailani ripped through the liquor stock in a frenzy slamming bottles onto the counter fury growing as the bottles simply exploded into useless shards.

“This always looked easier in the holovids.” She admitted to no one in particular as Dutch finished off the last of his man-friends, his sole attention now on her.

A large clear bottle still clutched tightly in her hand Kailani slammed it on the edge with all of her force only to have it bounce back with equal power up and out of her hands, landing on the floor with a comedic boink.
Damn. Plastic.
Within moments Dutch was upon her, swinging wildly as she turned and twisted and ducked to dodge his blow, laughing as his cross-jabs missed.

“Come on slugger, you gotta be fa-“ She giggled, suddenly interrupted as a hard blow to the cheek landed, tossing her petite self from the counter and onto the floor with an oof. Whit hot agony exploded across her face before dulling into a hazy throb.

Tumbling across the glass studded floor Kailani swore wildly, her check swelling and blood dripping from the corner of her lip, further messing her precious top. Dazed and confused for a long moment, all she was aware of was the pain before her surroundings, once faded became sharp and clear again with her pain.

She was on the floor, broken glasses all around her and beneath her the passed out form of a dude-bro. A rather lumpy dude-bro. A sharp pain in her side, something jabbing her unpleasantly brought her back into realty, fingers moving over the object quickly. She only had a moment before Dutch would realize she was still conscious.

At least her fingers found purchase and ripped the cool black object out into the open. A blaster pistol! With a loving tap of the rich boy’s face in her palm Kailani whispered softly. “You won’t be needin’ this, doll.”

With a twist and a shout she fired at the lumbering oaf of a man that has so violently offended her, not bothering to take aim as she scrambled back to her feet.

[Rugs]

Rooooooooooooooooound 2!

Round 1

Dutch
Effort: 4/5
Fairness: 5/5
Detail: 4/5
Coolness: 3/5
Bonus: 1/2
Comments: Not a whole lot to say for this one. It was amusing, as Dutch often is. Bonus points for making me laugh a few times during the reading of it. Motorboats and dudebros....

Moonfire
Effort: 4/5
Fairness: 5/5
Detail: 4/5
Coolness: 3/5
Bonus: 1/2
Comments: Silly plastic, ruining the best-laid plans of mice and bar brawlers. It was a fun, unexpected touch, and so I will give you a bonus point for it. Y'all are making this hard for me to grade =P You're both writing very well.

If I could describe things so far in a word, it'd be:


>_>

<_<

OH NO DUTCH SHE HAS A GUN WATCH OU-

BANG BANG POW POW SHE SHOT ME I'M ALREADY DEAD

*crawls with dying breath to calculator*

*mashes buttons at random*

Dutch: 30
Moonfire: 31


Go on... without me...

[Dutch]

"BAH!"

Dutch would bellow as his jab found purchase on her face. One never truly knew the kind of force added to a punch with brass knuckles until they took one to the face. His uppercut hit air, as the blonde had already begun her descent from the jab. She collapsed onto a couple of Dutch's other victims, and Dutch thrust both hands up into the air with a cry of victory and began to spin slowly.

"And she's down! Dutch one! Blondie nothiiiiiiiiiiiin'! Can I get a countdown? Anyone?"

He cackled in between chuckles as he showboated. With arms spread he looked around as patrons either cowered or fled the scene, many of them screaming. Damn sea-spoiled little gits. In Flint, a bar-brawl was just apart of the scenery, part of the fun. What kind of bass ackwards place was this? Dutch shook his head at the thought and lowered his arms to look down at the still woman. A slight grimace would touch his lips and he sighed slightly.

"Sorry Blondie, didn't mean to clean your clock. Man... I'm an ass, sockin' a cutie like that. Didn't even get her name... or her cup size. I was betting on them DD's too..."

The man said, his tone soaked in disappointment. He would shrug and slide his brass knuckles back into their pockets. He went to the bar and picked up his glass to take the last sip of it when a battle cry sounded from the tiny blonde. Dutch jumped and screamed as the very glass he was holding suddenly shattered from the stray blaster shot. He cursed and stumbled back as the alcohol ignited and Dutch frantically tried to get his jacket off.

"SONAVA!"

Spat Dutch as he rolled his shoulders to peel off his jacket and tossed it at the bar in a panic. All the alcohol from the blonde's spilling rampage ignited at its touch, and Dutch watched it with wide eyes as the fire spread rapidly into the wood structure. Oh that sucks... He thought before his eyes shot to the woman and he quickly dove behind a tipped table. Dutch shouted to her

"C'mon lady! First you jack my face up, then you blast my drink! Are you sensitive about your knockers or something? Cause I can't help but see a connection! Not your fault they're killer! Get it?"