Post by Apillis on Jun 29, 2013 23:06:49 GMT -5
Rambo narrowly kills Jason Bourne before the apes take over the earth, but then Riggs in his Mel Gibson fueled lunacy kills and eats, them but then Aslan eats him completing the circle of life. But the mummy returns only to sleep in eternity with the fishes at the Godfather's behest. Albeit, he's sent back to the future when John McClane arrives on the scene only to be terminated. Time travel needs to be kept on the down-low so its covered up by MIB, but nope--in Chuck Testa plot twist fashion it was all the Matrix. The X-men gather to defeat the Machines, but Superman beats them to it. Not that it matters as they all get ran over by a bunch of twenty-somethings in douchebag swag-style high-performance cars. Ethan Hunt investigates the matter only to be impeded by getting face-raped by a face-hugger. The Transformers roflstomp his corpse the second the alien burst out of his chest. Too bad they never knew that the aliens were hetero-life-mates with the genetically reborn dinosaurs, who proceeded nom the Transformers to death. Kahn showed up and blew up the dinosaurs just before Rocky knocked him the #$@% out, because I mean, why the %@$# not? It was a stupid move for Rocky to go swimming in the same day, because Jaws was feeling hungry and ates him. But the blinding glow of overly effeminate twink vampires scared Jaws off. Fortunately Indian Jones arrived looking for Nazis to punch in the face, but because he couldn't find any Nazis he took to whipping to death the twinky homo-glow vampires. Ever the show Spiderman showing Indian Jones how its done web-slung him into an ancient tomb of irrelevance. Jack Sparrow booted Spiderman's ass into the tomb just before it sealed. In the next instant, Gotham's Dark Knight knocked Captain Jack out because he's the god**mn Batman. But then he wound up corrupted by the One Ring until Tony Stark flew in and tossed him into Mount Doom. Iron Man tried to steal the golden snitch too, but Potter thrust his Patronus heavily into the affair preventing that from ever happening. It ended when Darth Vader force choked Potter to death and the Empire ruled the galaxy once more. All the while James Bond nailed Padme and Leia, thus nailing Vader's wife and daughter, making him the true winner of it all. Boom.
~ Fin
Why isn't this a movie yet?
