Julian928

[Julian]

Character Name: Jorra D'Resh
Character Source: SWURP (Pending and a WIP)
Character Faction/Alignment: Mandalorian Army/Spec Ops, Neutral with a lean towards Light.
Type of Roleplay: Something with a social element as well as a touch of action.
Roleplay Requirements: Mentor's Discretion
Reason for Request: Knock the rust off of the gears, as well as find out which aspects of my RP need the bulk of my improvement efforts.
Notes: For several months I was a part of an SWTOR Guild (joined before the game launched) that did an absolute ton of Forum RP. It was great; I loved it. However, most of us tended towards smaller, rapid-fire posts. There were larger exposition posts of course, but most of the IC was less than three paragraphs and consisted largely of what our character's were saying and doing in the span of a couple IC seconds or minutes, to be replied to a few minutes later in the same fashion.

This site has reminded me of the tremendously great time I had with that group (which disbanded a little more than a year ago, and was my last post-by-post RP that lasted more than a few days). However, y'all seem a helluva lot more detailed than we were, and I need to work on both meeting that same standard as well as brushing up on writing in a way that people will enjoy reading before they make their own posts.

If my character application being incomplete is an issue, please know that I am submitting this before completing it because I don't want to write a giant bio that's about as fun to read as nutrition information, me being so out of practice.

Roleplay: As above, I'd like Mentor input before starting anything.

[Jazen]

*crawls in from whatever corner he came from*

Greetings from your friendly neighborhood RPM Mentor! (though its been a while so excuse the rust currently falling off my...everything)

So, let's get to the basics, the nitty and gritty. First off, your character being incomplete is not an issue, although if your guy has his appearance and personality up, I wouldn't complain xD. Gives me something to give a quick glance over to get a feel for your character.

Now, I know people who come here from sites were one-liners were standard issue(not that that's bad), so you're a step up already in terms of length. Now, as for expanding your posts, that's simple. Just write what you want to write and slowly but surely, start adding a little more and a little more. There are some people here who write short, straight to the point posts and others who write short stories in their own right. The trick is finding a balance between the two, to get your section of the story across while giving your partners something to reply to themselves. (Too much detail, not enough action, for example, is harder to reply too). So rather than post something large in an attempt to make it longer with random stuff thats not needed, focus on posting what needs to be said.

Anyway, enough of my babbling. As it happens, if you want a trial run, I have a big angry Mandalorian lizard I can whip out to assist you. (Oh god, that sounded worse out loud). I can start if you wish, but I think the better idea is for you to start it, so I can see what your level is at and work from there. Two Mando's is easy to work with; two words is all that is needed to set that scene.

Sparring. Action. Sound good? (If so, start next post)

[Julian]

With practiced efficiency, Jorra tightened and clasped shut the straps of her left gauntlet. The armorweave looked strange next to the pale muscle of her upper arm, but there wasn't any point in putting her entire suit on just to practice. She had already gone about tying off the loose fabric of her top against her lower back, and tucked the bottoms of her tan pant legs into the gold-plating of her boots. 

Jorra stretched out against the cold ground, and lifted her knees up to her chin. With a slight backwards rock, the momentum carries her up and forward onto her feet. Walking out of the small locker room, she removed a hair pin out of her teeth. Smoothing back the obedient silver and black locks, she made a small ponytail and slid the pin over the spot on her temple where a few strands always escape.

As the changing room door opened with that quiet pneumatic hiss, she noticed that someone hadtaken one of the five sparring droids that stand sentry across from the door. In one of the sparring circles which circle the room, a tremendously large warrior hammered away at the clearly outmatched machine with an equally large sword. Jorra paid them no attention, crossing to the four remaining droids. Three of them had strategic padding for lighter hits, and one of the two which did not was her target of choice.

Jorra stood impatiently in front of it, and waited for something to happen. Nothing does. She pressed a button on its chest, but no lights came on. 

"Hey." An open palm collided with the side of the droid's head. "Hey!" That time, a closed fist. She sighed in frustration, and circled the metal body. On the back, a small datapad: 

Power cell and housing removed for maintenance.

"Perfect. Just perfect." She mumbled. Her eyes returned to the other Mando and the other padless droid. Jorra put two armored fingers in her mouth, and let loose a sharp whistle for his attention over the sound of blade-striking-blade. "Hey, you gonna be long?"

[Jazen]

Clang. Clang. Clang.

The sound of metal meeting metal echoed through the quiet room that counted as one of the many chambers the Mandalorian soldiers used for training and exercising. Nothing else in the room moved, save for the two figures engaged in swordplay at the room's center. And for Thel, nothing else in the room mattered but the foe before him.

As he did everyday that a mission was not in progress, Thel had woken early to begin his workout. Being the physical specimen that he was, even the light workout Thel had planned for this day would have put your average person to shame with its intensity. Thel had been born and bred to be a warrior; a routine such as this had been engraved into his body since he could walk. Which is why, despite being at it for several hours, Thel was far from truly exhausted yet.

Sparring with the droid in sword combat was actually the last bit of his training for today; he'd done his reps and his running already. Now he simply found himself engrossed in teaching this metal contraption how inferior it was to his skill, even with the difficulty on the droid cranked as high as it could go. Still, it did manage to make him fight seriously to avoid taking any serious harm, so it made for a solid workout. The only problem was that, as a droid, it was limited to its programming. It could not think like a living, breathing, organic being, which could get "creative", so to speak.

Thel was so focused on his task that he didn't hear the arrival of another. Not until she whistled so sharply that Thel just about threw his sword at the source on per instinct. Deflecting another blow from the droid, Thel roughly smashed his hand onto its chest to put it into standby before turning to the source of the racket that had assaulted his ears. His sword hung loose at his side as he stood to his full height to study the new arrival.

"Hmpf...so you're the one who made that dreadful sound. There are more polite ways to interrupt another session...ways that are less likely to get you harmed."

[Julian]

Jorra rested armored hands onto unarmored hips. Quiet for a moment, she slowly appraised the reptilian sapient. As her orange eyes completed their journey up his massive form, she made a light cluck sound with her tongue.

"Harmed, huh? Who doesn't love a man that makes empty threats?" She smiled dryly, and let the pseudo-insult hang for a moment, but relented. "Sorry 'bout that, though. Wasn't sure how good you could hear, so louder seemed better." She gestured to his sword with her right hand, then put it back onto her hip. "Dunno if you know, but the way you swing that thing makes plenty of noise, too. Not to mention you can't exactly walk around in broad daylight with a vibroblade."

Jorra shifted her position, crossing her arms and putting her weight onto her back foot. Her head jerked towards the padded droids. "So, how's about you put those big hands to work on one or two of those; learn a new way to protect yourself. From being harmed."  Her voice hung on each of the last three words, giving each a hearty helping of mockery.

[Jazen]

(Ohmygawd, my eyes don't bleed! Much better color ^_^. Now, a bit of RPM work here; your first post wasn't bad in terms of length, for even some of our more veteran players post like that at times. Look to try and keep that amount in your following posts, if you can, but without going into over detail or analyzing. Also, and this is just me being a nitpick, but take a moment after writing a sentence to say it aloud. See if it sounds right(English may not be your first language, if soimsorry. But in your first sentence for example, you're using first person words for a third person perspective; Jorra tightened and clasped < would be what it should have been. Again, thats just me nitpicking. Otherwise, very good sir...ma'am...whichever!)



It wasn't easy to rattle Thel's cage; the beast had grown up under constant scrutiny from his peers, supervisors and commanders since he'd entered the military academy back on his homeworld. Such pointless stabs at him might as well have been a blaster bolt against his armor for it all it did against his skin in the same manner. Which was a lucky thing for this woman. An angry Thel was not one she wanted to have to handle at this point in time; many dead corpses could attest to that. Well...no they couldn't, but the point was valid anyway.

"My threats are far from empty. And my hearing is quite adequate for hearing something of far less decibels, I thank you.

Snorting through his nostrils at the woman's comments, Thel glanced down to the sword in his hand, his Ra'bratos blade. The weapon was indeed quite noticeable, but it had been designed to be that way. One of the greatest weapons a warrior could yield in battle was not the physical weapons that they could wield, but the metaphysical ones that they could create. The blade was meant to inspire terror and fear in those that found themselves its opposite; coupled with the massive warrior wielding it, it could do more harm to enemy morale long before its hungry steel tasted their blood. And Thel had spent years using this weapon at his side, his constant comrade and partner in any situation. It went where he went.

With a shift of his wrist, Thel activated the blade's hidden feature. In a flash, the blade had retracted inside into a more manageable size, one that he placed off to the side before turning his attentions back to the woman. Craning his neck so that his eyes were level with hers, Thel clacked his teeth together, the four mandibles curling into what many considered a smile on Thel.

"Droids are only so useful when it comes to the matter of training. If I really wanted to learn, my big hands would be put to better use on another target. A more organic target." His hand would snap out then, an open-palmed shot at this woman's chest, meant to shove her away with a portion of his strength to make his point. "Unless this piece of meat is too scared, of course."

[Julian]

Jorra fought the urge to scoff and roll her eyes at Thel's retort, and won the battle. Instead, her eyebrows rose and her lips pursed, doing nothing to hide her general boredom with his posturing. Arms still crossed, Jorra put pressure on her left bicep with her right fingers. Each knuckle cracked with a moderate volume, though the gesture was meant to loosen her fingers rather than intimidate. She did the same to her other arm and other hand.

Jorra cocked her head while Thel marveled at his weapon. She couldn't help but relate, thinking about the four pistols slung in as many holsters across her armor. She also nodded in appreciation of its efficiency when he collapsed it. It still seemed too big and inconvenient, but she was also terrible with melee weapons. Her eyes tracked up to his face, seeing the oddly shaped head crane and the mandibles contort. 

Not sure what he's thinking, but it'll be more than a few swings with that knife before I'm edible. She decided. 

"Droids are only so useful when it comes to the matter of training. If I really wanted to learn, my big hands would be put to better use on another target. A more organic target."

Jorra's body caught fire, and time slowed to a crawl. In her mind's eye, she saw his massive hand come rocketing towards her. His palm smashed into her unarmored chest, and she staggered back three steps. The image faded, and once more Thel stood in front of her, hands at his sides.

Her eyes dilated sharply, and her muscles cooled. As Thel's hand left his side, just as she anticipated, she deftly leaned right to avoid his palm. Jorra quickly stepped out of his reach, retreating into the sparring circle he had vacated to speak with her. She never turned away from him, though. With a snap of her wrist, the droid moved out of their way. She settled at the end of the ring opposite Thel, her entire stance changed. Muscles were tensed, there were slight bends to each joint, and the predator's gaze she sent Thel's way could rival his own. 

"Because you asked so politely: Yes, I would be happy to instruct you." Jorra smiled almost maliciously, and lowered herself down, holding one knee just slightly above the mat. She held her open hands in front of her, the right at eye-level and the left held straight in front of her. "Whenever you're ready, big man." 

[Jazen]

The woman's reaction was far better than Thel had expected, yet no less than he had hoped for from a fellow "brother" in arms. Or was she considered a sister in that manner? It mattered not, truly, but the thought briefly crossed Thel's mind as the rest of him focused on what had just transpired before him.

His blow had been sharp and quick; not as fast as he could have made it, but still a worrisome strike for the unprepared or untrained. He'd made no indication that he was going to make such a move, his stance completely neutral until that last second before his body had moved into action. Yet despite that, the woman had sidestepped his blow with such ease and timing that it seemed she'd seen the move coming. While that outcome was highly unlikely, it was impossible an action either. A newfound respect for her grew in Thel, even as he turned his neck to follow her with his eyes to where she now waited for him.

Watching her carefully, Thel studied her combat stance before turning his body to follow. For show and effect, he put a little extra weight into his steps, standing at his full height as he took a position opposite her. His feet thudded heavily and loudly on the floor and he gazed down at her with his craned neck as a snort slipped from his nostrils. Where he was large and imposing, the woman was smaller and made herself smaller still, crouching low to the point where the ground was almost to her knees.

Thel quickly joined her in readying himself, spreading his massive legs to shoulder width, knees bent. His arms came up in front of him, one open and ahead of him, the other closed and closer to his body. Snorting, Thel's jaws twisted into a malicious grin. "No...it would be my pleasure to instruct you" With a single step, Thel closed the distance between them and started the party off, switching his open gripped hand to a closed one and sending a quick jab at her with it. He wasn't in close with her yet, but with the length of Thel's arms and his body size, his range was much greater than hers. And while one might normally associate a being like him to expect power to dominate, the use of a fast strike might be enough to catch her off guard.

It was a good opening move to their party.

[Julian]

Jorra waited patiently, centering herself and tensing various muscle groups to loosen them. The lizard loved his own size; that much was clear. She found nothing wrong with that, but it also made her wonder whether or not he understood his own shortcomings. He had proven to her that he was faster than he looked, but she had already seen that in his strikes with the sword on his hip.

Settling lower, she began watching for imperfections in his movements: he was heavy, but it didn't slow him enough to exploit; he was confident, but his body backed that up. Jorra grimaced, hoping that her own conditioning and training would see her to the end of this bout conscious, if not victorious.

"No...it would be my pleasure to instruct you." And as the huge Mandalorian lunged forward, she understood. Thel believed himself to be invincible.

No one was invincible.

Capitalizing on the traditional defensive stance, Jorra used her planted foot to propel her body under Thel's arm and to his flank, and used the momentum to somersault back into position behind him. Again using the planted foot, Jorra began to leap upward and forward. She brought her other knee to her chest and slammed it down as well, stopping the forward momentum in an offensive stance.

Face-to-back with Thel, Jorra swung her right leg, spinning her entire body clockwise. Coming back around, she sent the kick towards Thel's side with considerably more impact force than she could muster with a straight shot.

[Jazen]

Whenever two beings fought, the outcome was often decided by which of the two was capable of using their own strengths to their maximum potential while covering for their weaknesses at the same time. In that same line of thought, the outcome could also be decided by which of the two was better at exploiting the weaknesses of the other and using them to their advantage.

Thel's strengths were most assuredly his size and power, coupled with his years of experience and training, with a little mix of hidden speed dashed in there for the most potent mix. But despite what looked to be an overwhelming advantage in almost all aspects across the board, Thel did and was quite aware that he had weaknesses of his own. In fact, this woman was exploiting one of them right now; his big size could be used against him. Especially if the foe was smaller and quick on their feet.

Thel's quick jab was met with no resistance as it punched the empty space the woman had quickly vacated. Since it had been only a short jab, it didn't take Thel very long to pull his arm back to him. As the woman rolled past him, Thel tracked her with his eyes, taking advantage of his neck's unique shape to follow and track her by twisting it around slightly. So when she made her own attack, Thel was already moving into a position to counter.

Rather than evade or block to incoming kick, Thel opted for a move that took advantage of his strengths. Lifting his arm slightly, Thel took the blow head-on, allowing the kick to smash into his thick hide with all its intended force. A normal man might have winced or flinched; Thel's body was made of sterner stuff and although he felt the blow, he didn't let it cripple his next move. The instant the blow made impact, Thel's arm snapped down, aiming to trap her leg between his arm and body.

Provided it did, Thel's next course of action was to tighten his grip, bring his other arm around to assist and use his size, weight and power to lift her up, pivot and toss her down to the nearby mat. Not too hard, per say, but he pull as much power as he should have from the move. Sometimes you just had to make a point and make it hard. Very hard.

[Julian]

As Jorra's hit struck home, she felt the strong reverberations that Thel's hide sent back her way. It was somewhat jarring, but nothing she couldn't handle. It did, however, distract her. Jorra's speed was her one of her greatest assets, and she had plenty of muscle to fall back on, at least for a human. More than anything, though, she relied on the decades of experience and diligent study to carry her through.

Unfortunately, Jorra has never been one to plan as far ahead as she should. She also isn't the brightest bulb. 

As Thel's massive arm clamped down, she chanced a look to his head, now realizing how much larger his field of vision was than she was used to. Jorra immediately began to struggle against him, but had neither the time nor the strength to escape before the reptilian made his next move.

While her orientation shifted, Jorra began to cycle through ways to make the landing as gentle as possible. Among these contingencies was the hope that her back was not about to become intimately familiar with either of Thel's knees. When he hefted her downward, her hope was validated. 

Fortunately, because of how large Thel was, Jorra had very slightly more time to adjust herself in the air than against a shorter opponent, and she made the most of it. Twisting in the air, she rotated enough to take the landing on the front of her shoulder and her bicep. Pushing off of the ground with her hands and her coiled landing-arm the split-second before impact allowed her to to roll a little further, and she wound up on her back. She was also as far from Thel as the movement had allowed.

Although she could already feel the area on her upper arm where the bruises would show, Jorra had managed to avoid being stunned by the impact. She planted her hands at the sides of her head and kipped up onto her feet. Immediately pivoting to face Thel again, Jorra gently rolled her shoulder, but didn't leave her battle stance.

"Solid move, big man." She gave Thel a quick nod, her compliment sincere. Her mouth had re-acquired the eager grin from before. Jorra's stance changed from the basic fighting pose to something more exotic, with her right foot stretched far ahead of her and her weight on her bent back leg. Her right arm was extended over the leg, hand closed into a fist with her palm aimed at the ceiling. Her left fist rested at her hip, and she let out a long, slow breath.

[Jazen]

If this had been a true battle, the number of things Thel might have done instead of what he did were numerous. He would have dropped her hard onto his knee, possibly snapping the spine, or kept his grip on her leg firm to repeatably bash her into the ground for maximum damage. However, because it was a sparring session...or perhaps a "friendly" contest to prove the superior, he sufficed with throwing her down once. Hard.

Just because it was a friendly contest didn't mean Thel had to pull all his punches.

Although he had intended to slam her down on her front solid, the woman surprised him by managing to shift herself just in time to take the majority of the crash onto her shoulder and arm, rather than onto her chest and face. In a truly amazing feat of deftness, the woman managed to roll herself onto her back upon impact, reducing some of the recoil from the landing and putting her into a position where she could recover, or at the very least, see Thel's neck attack coming if he opted for one.

In this case, he did not. Instead, Thel waited patiently and quietly as the woman flipped back up to her feet, spinning to face him as soon as both her feet hit the ground. Thel's expression didn't change, but the blood in his body slowly began to boil; this woman might be more of a challenge than he thought. And the thought only made him happier. Again waiting quietly, his stance still and ready, Thel watched as the woman opted for a much different form than before, this one far more unique compared to the basic stance of before.

Bowing his head slightly to her in recognition of her own move, Thel stomped his foot to the ground before answering. "And to your own recovery, little warrior." And then he was moving, his massive frame bursting forward, shortening the distance between them before sending two quick jabs her way, followed by a roundhouse backhand that led into a sharp kick that took advantage of his height, power and speed to add momentum to the blow.