Raka the Hutt

[Arcadia]

(PLAY ME WHILE READING.)
Name:Raka Besadii Tai
Race: Hutt
Age: 200
Birthplace: Nal Hutta

Allegiance: Hutt Empire
Status: Minor Mob Boss
Rank: Minor Mob Boss
 
Height/Weight: 3 Meters/ 530 Kilograms
Appearance: Raka is a young Hutt. His skin is blue and very oily. On his left arm is a large scar from where he regenerated because of a bad deal. His eyes a bright yellow and he almost always is smoking a hookah pipe, unless he is away on business. Like all Hutts his age, he is about the height a a grown adult and is very large. His hoversled was modified to have two small under lights for night time jobs, a large bowl to carry any type of food Raka is preferring at the moment, and a built in hookah pipe.  
 
Personality: Like most Hutts, Raka is very full of himself. He believes that their species are the true gods of the Galaxy and everyone else is expendable. The one thing he loves most in his life is credits and materials, if you have the right price or items Raka will surely come. He has a very short temper and has been known to injure or kill men who give him bad deals. Unlike most Hutts though, Raka does speak basic if the client desires. Becuase Raka believes that his species is gods like the rest of the Hutts. Raka expects complete obedience from all slaves and bodyguards. If bodyguards or slaves displease him they will be immediately executed. All dealings are personal to Raka since business is his life. Raka does every black armed deal in private to keep himself under the radar from the republic and will act proudly and carefully when dealing with a Sith or Dark Jedi.

Equipment: Blaster Pistol,  Custom Hoversled

Stats: (Feeble, Below Average, Average, Above Average, Superior, Legendary)

Strength - Below Average
Agility -Feeble
Intelligence - Above Average
Charisma -Above Average
Combat Training: (Unskilled, Novice, Apprentice, Adept, Expert, Master)
Blasters-Novice

Other Training: (Unskilled, Novice, Apprentice, Adept, Expert, Master)
Bartering-Adept
Pet Handling- Apprentice
Strategy-Apprentice
Evaluation-Adept
Swindilng-Adept
Lying-Adept
Intimidation-Adept 
Sabacc-Apprentice

Biography:
Huttlet 1-70 years
Raka was born from Belta the Hutt. As a Huttlet Raka was very troublesome like torturing bug and breaking objects of good value. But Belta saw that the Huttlet had potential as a crime lord for the Besadii. Belta would bring Raka on trips to other planets when ever he had business to deal with. These adventures taught Raka how to barter and how to swindle money from black marketers. Sometimes things didn't go as planned though, Belta once tried to make a deal with a bounty hunter who didn't take the deal kindly. A large fight broke out causing the Huttlet to not have his left arm for a few days. Belta treated Raka like a sack of 1,000,000 credits, trying to keep the huttlet of of bad deals and keeping him happy. 
Young Hutt 71-90
When Raka was 71 years old he was finally able to leave Belta and his brood pouch to start is own gang. Raka inherited a lot of money from Belta when he left to make his gang, 2,000,000 credits to be precise. Belta had died a year ago due to the bounty hunter who didn't like the deal Belta made.  The first thing Raka did was hire guards, this wasn't hard since anyone could have been bought with the right price. Raka knew that Tradoshans were powerful and most were mercenaries so he made his way to Dosh. While their Raka made a deal with multiple large families on Dosh, Raka would recive the best and most capable of their family every generation while the families earned large sums of money for the men. With bodyguards now at his side, Raka thought it was time to get the next thing all Hutts needed, Slaves. Being from Nal Hutta, it wasn't hard to find someone who sold slaves. Being that slave trade was large in Nal Hutta Raka quickly found a man who was selling Tw'eilks at a cheaper price than normal. Raka smiled because this human was very desperate and didn't know how the slave trade worked so he took advantage of the situation and bought them. With slaves and Trandoshans at his side their was one last thing Belta had left for Raka, his land. Belta had owned almost all of Ylesia and had written down in his will that Raka would receive it.
Adult Hutt 91-200
By age 120 Raka finally got into dangerous deals, selling items to Jedi or Dark Jedi. Raka knew the dangers of these two groups and generally despised both of them but he wanted more credits so this was one of his few chances. The first few deals went surpringly well, selling blasters to the Dark Jedi and the Rebuplic was rather simple and they didn't suspect anything wrong with the deals. Things got tricky at age 150. Raka made many deals with a human who would always come for the same thing, blaster rifles. Raka never questioned why the man needed so many Blaster Rifles, that was his number one rule, not to question why they would want the item. Everyone and a while, Raka would slip in a few malfunctioning rifles with the working ones to be able to buy less blaster rifles when the man came for more. This came and bit him back when the man who was buying the rifles figured out about the malfunctioning rifles and sent a bounty hunter after Raka to get revenge on him swindling the blaster rifles. This bounty hunterhad little trouble finding Raka because the Hutt almost always stayed in the same place. The bounty hunter busted through the door and killed many of Rakas bodyguards. Once the bounty hunter reached the main room where Raka stayed, he busted in and killed the two men guarding the Hutt. The bounty hunter then grabbed his rifle and aimed it at the Hutt. Raka remained calm and asked what the bounty hunter had been paid to kill him. The bounty hunter replied 100,000 and Raka couldn't help but laugh. Raka replied that he would quadruple it if the bounty hunter told him who the man was and kill the man who hired the bounty hunter. The bounty hunter, knowing the good deal, told Raka that the man was part of the Mandalorian army and the faulty blasters he sold the man were going to be used by the Mandalorian army. Satisfied, Raka sent the bounty hunter off with 400,000 to kill the Mandalorian officer. One day at age 190 a smuggler came in with a large cage asking 500,000 credits for it. Raka was infuriated at the smuggler calm tone as he asked so much money, stating why he would pay such a price. The smuggler simply smiled as he slid a small panel on the cage, revealing a Acklay's beady eyes. Raka then went silent, this was a deal he couldn't pass up for all the most important Hutts owned a rare and dangerous pet so he, begrudgingly, gave the smuggler 500,000 credits for the Acklay. During his time on Ylseia, Raka has expanded to Reek farming and own most of the reek farms on Ylesia, letting only a few stay independent. Because of this, farmers having given tamed reeks to Raka for extra protection.
Roleplay Sample:
Raka took a long inhale from his Hookah Pipe. He had new client coming from Genosis who said he had a amazing object to sell. The client slowly stumbled in with two of Raka's Tradoshan bodyguards behind him, the client was a small male Toydarian. Raka chuckled slightly "Chobaso." The Toydarian got up and wiped the dust off of him. "Yes thank you for agreeing to this Raka, can you speak basic?" Raka sighed at spoke in his deep voice "All Hutts can, we just chose not too. Now, what do you have for me?" The Toydarian grabbed the wrapped cloth from his pack and unwrapped it showing the item it held. Raka looked at it "This is just a blaster rifle." The Toydarian frowned "It is a scoped blaster rifle that I want 5,000 for." Raka immediatly raised his voice "WHAT? 5,000??? Bring the rifle here." A Trandoshan grabbed the rifle from the toydarian's hands and showed it to Raka. "Hmm, very nice. Mint condition, I will pay 2,000." The Toydarian shakes his head "3,000 is the lowest I'm going." 
Raka glared at the Toydarian and spoke in an angry tone. "You come to bargin with a Hutt and you tell him such prices?." The Toydarian had a worried expression on his face "No I just-" Raka interrupted him "All actions have consequences and now you'll learn what happens when you give me a bad deal" The two Tradoshans behind him grabbed the Toydarian's arms. Raka looked at the toydarian "Now....what price did you say the rifle was?"

[Arcadia]

Ready for review

[Stephen]

Hey! I'm Stephen and I'll be doing your review.

Alright!

Let's start this party.

Status: N/A
Rank: N/A

It seems like you are in a minor mob boss in a hutt cartel, so that would be your status and rank

Apperance : I'd like to see a bit more here. Does he have a custom hover sled with underlighting and a built in mini fridge. Do you keep the hookah balanced on your head? Any ornamentation?

Personality : A bit short but very too the point so hush my mouth I guess. Well done

Equipment : Seems a bit scant unless all you do is shoot people from your mobility scooter. Any cool toys aside from your hookah?

Stats: There isn't a lot in your bio to justify superior int. I'd like to see a bit more of him being clever. Otherwise above average.

Combat training : Fine

Other Training : Fine, although you might want some animal handling skills

Bio : Alright time for the meat.

Being that slave trade was large in Nal Hutta Raka quickly found a man who was selling Tw'eilks at a cheaper price than normal. Raka thought that he was truly a lucky man and bought them. 

Seems a bit strange. Was this man another hutt who was dumb, was it a human slaver who didn't know the markets?

Adult Hutt 91-200 
By age 120 Raka finally got into dangerous deals, selling items to Jedi or Sith.

First things first, the header says 91 – 200 but we start off at 120. Also the sith don't exist in our timeline until like two to three years ago, unless you mean the sith aristocracy, that didn't exist until like 50 years ago.


Okay the main thing with this section is that it is too short. Your character has existed for two hundred years, so they are going to have some stories. Try to flush out sections where you can. The 91 to 200 section and the 1 to 70 section especially

Rp sample : The only real issue with your rp sample is that all of the action is over before the other person got a chance to post. But it's fine.

Overall : This is fine, a bump down on int, replace sith with dark jedi and flush a few things out and you are in business



back to you

[Arcadia]

Thanks for the review! I'm going to start editing ASAP

[Arcadia]

Ready for another review!

[lion]

Hey there! I'm Lion, and since I'm being teh review-dude in training here, I'll be giving your character a quick once-over to help you out with the app process. Now, since the guys in green and red are the ones you'll want to be really listening to, you can take my advice with a pinch (or heap, it's all good) of salt. However, please feel free to use any ideas I put down here for you, cause I already like this concept.

With that aside, let's get stuck in, and as a peace offering to the mighty Raka, I brought you a tyre; do with it what you will. 




--------------------------

Starting details:

This all looks good; just checked the wookieepedia for Hutts and you've landed this guy squarely into the beginning of his adulthood, these details look fine. Nice job so far!

Appearance:

Since it's clear Hutts aren't in the market for clothes, you've only really gotta cover his physical appearance, which you have, and I love the idea of a vibrantly coloured Hutt. Nice detail with the scar and listing his hoversled in the appearance as well, as I presume he's spending most of the time on it. All good so far.

Personality:

Now here is where I see oodles of potential waiting to kick off. What you've listed so far is great, that he's an arrogant guy with a short fuse and focused squarely on physical acquisition, but does it go further than that? How is he as a businessman when he's in the inferior position? Since he's not exactly gonna be the fighting type (then again, he totally could be; doesn't take a lot to fire a blaster), how does he deal with adversity? How is he with his underlings, too? Is he an understanding boss or a ruthless bastard when it comes to failure, and does he acknowledge loyalty or is it expected?

This'd also be a very unique opportunity to hint at the Hutt familial structure when it comes to their dealings. I always got a Mafia-esque vibe from these guys, so perhaps some of that could come through. Does he take his business personally or is it simply a case of business? Does he operate openly, or does he keep a public 'clean-slate' to avoid authorities? This would be the sort of thing to consider, and you could bring that through in personality, that he's a shrewd operator or a heavy-handed thug.

I'd recommend giving a look at some Mafia-leaning characters in fiction a look (Godfather series for sure), or even real life figures (Al Capone, etc etc), to see how they acted and behaved as a potential reference to work from. If nothing else, it might help reason out how an organised criminal goes about their work. :3

Equipment:

Goes without saying, all good.

Stats:

This all seems in order here, but I'd offer a bit of an outside thought and that would be to bump up the Charisma a bit. Charisma doesn't just mean physical appearance, but force of will and personality as well as social skills, and for a man running a cadre of criminals, that does actually have apart to play more-so than most. Bartering and haggling would fall under this for sure, same with convincing lying and leading others along into positions Raka wants them to be when it comes to bargaining. Is he good at convincing someone to pay more than they know they should? Consider too, that when the metaphorical chips are down and he's got a gun drawn on him, Charisma and good verbal skills might get him out of it where his poor fighting skills wouldn't.

Not only that, same would any sort of speech-play employed to keep his underlings in line, as regardless of Raka's method of leadership, he still needs to have the strength-of-personality enough to take and hold their reins. Intimidation is another factor that would fall under Charisma, too, and he's definitely got the means to intimidate when he's got a gang at his beck and call. Charm and social skill doesn't have to be positive and 'good', after all, and for what this guy's doing, he's going to want to be good with words, and good with manipulating people.

My advice, bump the Charisma up to Above Average. Pair it with his Intelligence and you'll have a shrewd operator who knows exactly how to screw people over and make them do what he wants them to do. Sounds like a mobster-boss Hutt to me, no?

Combat Training:

All good. I take it this guy doesn't exactly fight himself, so this makes sense.

Other Training:

Adept at bartering, cool. Some extras to consider might be management skills, valuation of objects (unless he's got a hireling to do that for him), strategising (if he's the sort of boss looking to expand territory), things like that. A lot goes into keeping a rowdy gang of criminals going strong, after all. If he's got some fancy pets, Animal Handling.

Bio:

Alright, the big one. Since you've broken this up into parts, I'll be doing the same. Home stretch!

Huttlet years: It's brief but it makes sense. I like the detail of him being injured and learning how to swindle early, gotta love adversity. We get an insight into Belta but this could be expanded on, too. Does Belta have a reputation or is he a bit of a low-ranking player? And how does he view having a huttlet to worry about? You can blow this out for sure; growing up comes with a lot of problems to deal with, after all, and learning how Raka was as a child means we get to see the progress to who he is now as an adult.

Young Hutt: Alrighty, here's where we can get into some fun. This gang that Raka has started, is it solely his own or is it at the behest of Belta; a sort of satellite gang to his own ? Either works, and won't really hinder the story, but it does mean we get to see what sort of slug Belta is, too. Is he looking out for his kid, easing him into the 'family business', or is it 'get out, you're on your own'? 

This will determine, too, if this inheritance listed is due to Belta's death, or a gift to start on his own. If it's the former, how did Belta die? If it's the latter, does this gift of credits come with any strings attached?

Trandoshan bodyguards, nice; good choice there. As for the slaves, however, I can see some potential here not in showing Raka's luck, but his skill. Why would the slaver be selling Twi'lek girls, prime slave types, cheaper than normal? You can go with Stephen's advice and say it was a dumb hutt looking to offload, or someone not understanding the game, or, perhaps Raka haggled them down?

Fifty years is a long time ,especially starting a criminal gang, to be harmonious. Remember too, that in that time, his trandoshan guards have likely retired and would need to be replaced, and depending on Twi'lek life-spans and Raka's own attention span, he may have gotten bored of his slaves. You can definitely add something here; maybe some successes in expanding his sphere of influence, maybe some failures and close calls? Do any of his underlings stand out from here and earn Raka's favour? Having a close-knit structure of trusted men in and a gang would be incredibly important, and will establish a chance to see how Raka views loyalty.

It's also a good opportunity to see how Belta (if he's alive) reacts to his kid stepping up, too. Is Raka operating on Belta's turf? If so, is it under Belta's auspices, or is this some familial hostile-takeover in the making? This has the potential to be a very tumultuous time in Raka's life, learning the criminal game; it's where he'll take the most risks AND it's where he's at his most vulnerable, so play on that.

Adult Hutt:

Maybe bump the age bracket up to 120, as this is where you start in the story here. Better yet, it gives you a few extra decades in young hutt life to expand on! Success all around.

Dealing with Jedi and Dark Jedi would be a serious risky venture, and this is where that bump in charisma will come into play. Dealing with Jedi means he's gonna have to be shifty enough to play nice with the 'cops', as it were, and dealing with Dark Jedi means keeping some very hostile and very belligerent types appeased. 

I like the story of the blaster rifles, but man there is some serious potential there to play with! This could be an entire section on its own. It totally makes sense for a hutt to be shady like that, and it definitely would bite him in the backside if someone found out about it, enough to hire a badass bounty-hunting dude to come in and kick some ass, but there's so much inbetween that could happen. When did Raka get the idea to slip some dodgy rifles, and why? Who's this guy buying represent? 

Futhermore ,there's a couple opportunities for Raka to really flex his metaphorical muscle in skills here. The Dark Jedi saving his life is a really curious touch; were I Raka, I wouldn't be allowing the man to leave without repaying that debt, and even more so, the Hutt's got a sudden bodyguard issue that he would need to fill quickly. A Dark Jedi on hand, giving him practically anything at a beck and call over hired thugs as a second-in-command would be a HUGE asset for Raka, not one to simply let slip by without even offering. Dark Jedi are renowned for selfishness and the like, after all, so it wouldn't be far fetched for one to fall into the service of a Hutt when a huge credit sum is offered. Life of luxury is hard to pass up.

Or, you could drop that side entirely, and have Raka bargain his way out of it. Whose to say the bounty hunter is being paid well? Raka's a smart guy, and clearly anyone who could wipe out a cadre of bodyguards is worth hiring, right? "Whatever it is they're paying ,I'll triple it" can work wonders to a businessman like a bounty hunter, you know?

I like the acquisition of an Acklay, that's neat, and certainly there are deals that even shrewd hagglers go "Nope, I'm not even gonna try to bargain, that's a good deal.". However, why's he buying one? Just as a show of power a-la Jabba's Rancor?

Again, like the rest of the bio, it's awesome, but there's a lot of room to pad out with some epic tales of Raka the mobster making a name for himself and becoming a feared man in the criminal world. 

Roleplay Sample:

As for your roleplay sample, like what Stephen said, consider this a post you'd make on the board; if someone were playing the Toydarian, they've got no room to post at all before they're dead. That's no fun, you know? I would maybe instead write focusing on Raka's point of view, give some time in examining the rifle and perhaps summing the Toydarian up. This allows you to explain how Raka thinks, how he approaches haggling, and why he has interest in buying the weapon in the first place.

I'd say stop the post at the order to be fed; have the Toydarian held by the Trandoshan guards, but a moment of hesitation. Perhaps it's a bargaining ploy to force the Toydarian to lower his prices out of abject fear? That way, if you were playing with someone else, it gives them room to write the Toydarian's response, either as a struggle or as a plea for his life.

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Well, that's that. All in all, I'd say Raka's got some serious potential as a character, perhaps even a viable threat to the factions on the board as is, just needs a little extra work to get there. Rock on, I can't wait to see what you do with him. Good luck with the app! :3

[Arcadia]

Raka awaits for another review

[Stephen]

Thanks to Lion for the assist. A lot of good stuff in there

Teamwork is the best.

Alright time for my second pass


Other training: You added a lot of good stuff here, I feel like evaluation is kind of part of barter but that's subjective.

A lot of the stuff is better than it was +1 well done. A couple issues though

The first few deals went surpringly well, selling blasters to the Darks

I understand what you are saying here, but this could be easily misconstrued. Tag jedi on the end of dark for me would ya.

 Raka has expanded and now owns Ylseia and everything on it. Because of this, farmers having given tamed reeks to Raka for extra protection

Alright, this is too much. You can own facilities on Ylseia or land on Ylseia, but you cannot own an entire subforum. Also it seems like you went from young and somewhat small time to amazingly huge very quickly.

Alright, other than that strange addition and that other issue you are done. Almost done!

back to you.

[Arcadia]

Thank you! I think I fixed them.

[Stephen]

character accepted

Equipment: Blaster Pistol,  Custom Hoversled

Stats: (Feeble, Below Average, Average, Above Average, Superior, Legendary)

Strength - Below Average
Agility -Feeble
Intelligence - Above Average
Charisma -Above Average
Combat Training: (Unskilled, Novice, Apprentice, Adept, Expert, Master)
Blasters-Novice

Other Training: (Unskilled, Novice, Apprentice, Adept, Expert, Master)
Bartering-Adept
Pet Handling- Apprentice
Strategy-Apprentice
Evaluation-Adept
Swindilng-Adept
Lying-Adept
Intimidation-Adept 
Sabacc-Apprentice