Rumor Has It

[Memento]

[googlefont="Orbitron:400"]

Alright, my guys and gals, this place is way too stuffy lately. What’s the point of the HLS if there’s no good rumors to spread around?

Well, guess fucking what? It’s your lucky day cause my awesome slicer friends send me some of the hottest gossip this side of Coruscant. Which side? Exactly.

First off, what is the deal with Nar Shadda? I know it’s a bangin place, but damn, the little rock might explode if any more people show up on it. Jedi, Sith — even heard there was a crew of crayoneaters in Beskar runnin around tearing fools new all kinds of new assholes. Shout out to Fork by the way. Give the big chef a hello if you stop by. You’ll know him when you see him.

Speakin’ of the ol’ Smuggler’s Moon, I heard a little Jedi girl and a Sith boy have been hangin’ out there lately. Well, maybe they’re not so little these days, but they might have been when they first met. All I’m sayin is love might be in the disgusting air on Nar Shaddaa.

I also hear a peg-leg Kiffar Jedi and plant man Sith have been havin some tense times on a ship somewhere out in the ass end of the Galaxy. All I’m sayin’ is the jolly green boy better be careful: I hear that fake leg might have a flamethrower.

So now that the war’s done, what’s a Sith to do when he’s not after unlimited power and shooting lightning out of his ass at some dude who just wants to, like, make peace and stuff with a laser sword? Well I hear farming is the job of choice these days. In fact, Kinyen might be setting up some Force-farming subsidies if this trial run works out.

Oh, and did you hear the one about that Sith Lord that’s still lookin’ for his missing kid? Almost touching, ‘til you realize it must take a special kind of someone to try raising a family and be a Sith at the same time. Parent of the year, folks.

So that’s what I got for right now. More round ups to come in the future at the regular intervals of whenever-I-damn-feel-like-it. But what about you? I know you slackers hear stuff — that’s why you’re wastin’ time lookin at HLS forums instead of being out in the Galaxy doin’ whatever the hell it is you do. You might as well cough up what you got while you’re here.

Memento is Online ■

[Talau the Ever-Lurking]

It does seem that way! Can't take two steps without running into someone....special. It's getting too crowded. May be time to move on soon. But word is the destruction of The Fork might be signs of something bigger. Possible turf war?

featherhead is Offline ■

[Rugs]

[googlefont="Orbitron:400"]

Hey fuckos, guess what time it is? Your bedtime. And time for a scoop of some of the freshest shit going on around the Galaxy. Now my good friend Memento is out takin’ care of some business, but fear not, my dudes. I got us covered.

You didn’t hear this from me, but someone heard the Sith are about to go lookin’ for a lost artifact or something. I know, I know. But it gets better, see. Word is, they sent some team of archaeologists or whatever the fuck to go find this shit the first time and the dinguses got lost or something. So now the people in charge gotta clean the mess up. Hard to find good work out there, huh?

Speaking of Sith, y’all here about Tansar Point Station goin’ kaput? You know, the one over Saleucami? It’s ok if ya haven’t, it was kinda a dump anyway. Well, I heard some Sith Lady and a certain Jedi Master were seen snugglin’ up in the last escape pod outta the place before everything went kablooey. Wonder what’s up with those two...

Miss your invitation to the Blind Auction? Well, you missed a doozy this time. Or maybe ya didn’t. Guess it depends on if ya like shootouts and testin how much shit a sky palace can take before it stops bein a sky palace. Ya dig?

Sounds like the Mandalorians are gettin ready for another one of their zany adventures. This time it sounds like they’re gettin ready to hunt a giant monster. Maybe they’ll make a movie about it. Call it Outer Rim or some shit. Wonder if they’ll have little cats helpin’ em? That would be cute as fuck.

Has anyone been to Teth lately? I hear it’s a great vacation spot. Been thinkin about buyin some property there, myself.

So let’s say you’re two metaphorical brothers under the care of a certain crime lord. Maybe it’s been a tough few weeks for her — favorite restaurant got blown up, some people tried to kill her, employee overhead might be lookin a little high for the quarter. You know, the normal shit. So what do ya do to help her feel better? Get her a rancor to feed people to. Duh.

Speakin’ of crime lords, if you’re a merchant it might be a good idea to make sure you’re payin the proper fees due to the Exchange. Otherwise this crazy chick with a RADIOACTIVE HAMMER might come showin up at your doorstep. Pickin up what I’m puttin down?

Hey all you pirates out there, stay away from Tapani. Soundin’ like the powers that be over there have gotten tired of the bullshit and are about to fuck some shit up.

Oh and what the hell is going on on Jabiim? All I’m sayin is if the disease is called the gray rot you might wanna stay away from it. What, is there no soap out there or somethin?

This last one is fresh outta the oven, so I don’t know much about it. I hear that on some nights, if you look up and wish on a star just right, you can hear that something is going on in the Wild Space. Somethin big. Like 'Oh fuck I gotta get outta here' big. Or maybe I just got too much goin on these days and I’m goin crazy. Who knows?

Til next time, fuckheads! Don’t forget, if you got some hot rumors, drop that shit in here.

Draco is Online ■

[Rugs]

[googlefont="Orbitron:400"]

Alright, assholes, I’m stuck on this ship with the worst cold I’ve had in my life, so I guess it’s time for another update.

Normally Memento would hit this but they got it even worse than I do, so yours truly is back for another round.

Where do I even start with this shit? Man oh man. I mean everyone’s heard about Teth right? Just blipped off the damn map. Then Barab. And I’ve heard some other systems over there ain’t lookin so hot. Maybe you should ignore my earlier vacationing advice. In fact just don’t go on vacation. Stay home and lock yourself in cause things fuckin suck right now. Especially if you’re in Hutt Space.

Speaking of, make sure you load up on some tissue paper and fluids, cause there’s a new bug going around and it is nasty. P.S. Have y'all seen this shit on the news about sick people gettin' Force powers or something that shit is wild.

I mean did you even hear about the space station filled with like... psycho zombies or something? Or the guy who stole a crystal from a Hutt and got turned into compost? Or the fuckin’ lab on Ylesia that’s a smoking crater now?

I heard even the powers that be — you know Galactic Big Boys™ are starting to keep an eye on the crazy shit going on in Hutt Space. Tho I’ll be honest, fam, I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.

And does anyone remember that giant Hutt fleet? You know, the one that freaked everyone the hell out when it got together over Nal Hutta. Well they’ve been gone a few weeks now and ain’t heard shit about ‘em since. Is that supposed to happen?

Shit’s crazy out there, and I got a feelin’ it’s just getting started.

But that’s not all. You know this is the Galaxy’s best place for rumors, and we got stuff from all over goin on here. Here’s some more shit I’ve heard goin on -

You’d think the first time would be the charm for that famous Jedi-Sith couple, but noooo, I hear love can bloom in unexpected places. This time is especially unexpected cause man, I did not think Manaan had anywhere to grow flowers.

Oh, did you hear about that Republic mission that went off looking for ghosts or something? Wonder whatever happened to them.

Have you had a chance to go to the new Galactic Arena on Prazhi yet? I heard they give out some bomb-ass prizes. Just make sure you’re not sick or they might throw you out.

And let’s talk about cults. Now, I ain’t ever been part of one, but I figure, if I was ever gonna be, I’d be sure to set up our treehouse somewhere where a bigger, stronger cult with giant ships and lots of soldiers can’t get to me. You’d think that’d be Cultmaking 101, but I guess not!

Now I know some of you sly dogs have had your eye on the Compeer for a little while, but did y'all see that report from GMZ about her bein' off the market? Something about spotting her in a park on Nar Shaddaa or something I dunno I've been busy dying.

Did you hear about this year’s Sith prom? Never been to one myself -- what with, you know, not bein’ a Sith. But, I hear they’re the best place to silently judge and be judged by your coworkers while pretending to like each other. Sounds bangin’.

I've got word that a lot of Dark Side-using Zeltron boys have just started dyin' all over the place. Wish I knew why, but it's super weird. Terrible accidents, bounty hunters, normal incompetence - if you can name a cause, it's probably happening.

Also I hear there's one particular Sith who's catchin' everyone's eye for bein' pretty dreamy. All I'm sayin is I wouldn't mind bein the judge of that, ya dig?

Have you ever seen the Regent in person? I haven't, but I’m told that’s a good thing if you don’t live in Imperial space. Well, I heard some rumbling about some work on the big girl. Like, loadin’ up supplies and shit. Little bird tells me that hasn’t happened since the war ended.

Draco is Online ■

[googlefont="Orbitron:400"]

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE

I got some guest rumors coming in hot from some people who wish to remain unammed. Check this shit out y’all -

Could somebody tell the Republic military to get its shit together?

Was in the Kuati shipyards on business when the entire complex's alarms blare. Every sailor drops what they're doing and starts going on about a "priority alert" from command. All us civilian contractors get herded out of our offices and told we've got to stay out of restricted areas. We're used to it, we do drills for it all the time.

Well, I happen to get a look out the window, and the Enduring Flame look like it's getting ready to launch. Shuttles and transports, supply ships, the works. Engines fire up (even from the other side of the shipyards, you can feel that) only for the thing to move two meters. Then it stops dead in its tracks and has to be towed back in slow as can be. Every sailor I asked about it said they'd been issued emergency stop orders by the Senate.

Guys, if you're going to launch a dreadnought, please actually launch the dreadnought.


AND HERE'S ANOTHER ONE -

Pack it in dudes. We're outta' luck.

Got a running theory that the Compeer's a woman, and seeing as how the Exchange just tried to slip out some cloaked ship without anyone noticing, betting she's finally got a boyfriend and off on vacation. That or riding out these weird disease outbreaks in style. Maybe she's just tired of the Hutts.

All I know's that I'd be her knight in the night, ifyouknowwhatI'msayin'.


AND ONE MORE-


I signed up with the Hutts doing basic stuff. Word comes in that the Exchange is making a move for some new drug, half the guys are ordered to go stop 'em. I got left behind on guard duty. Got paid either way, doesn't matter to me.

Guys come back, go on about how that rumor that the Exchange hires ex-Jedi is true. Apparently there was this one though, huge Zabrak chick with legs that could kill (literally, so I'm told) that fucked up entire block's worth of buildings. My buddy Alfon was shooting rockets only for the entire top half of his building to just say "fuckit" and go diving into the street. Lady only stopped because she got tired, apparently.

Fuck that one guy with the green laser sword, I didn't sign up for that nonsense. Took my pay and walked.

TL;DR Don't fuck with crazy Zabrak underworld Jedi

Draco is Online ■