Post by Abraxas on Jul 22, 2020 10:23:05 GMT -5
 Abraxas Full Name • Abraxas Pronoia Race • Human Birthplace • Coruscant Age • 32 Gender • Male Sexuality • Pan Faction • Former Jedi/Unaffiliated Concept • Rank 3 - Seeker of Truth Languages • Basic Assets • Blue single-bladed lightsaber, the hilt's metal is dull and cool, wrapped in leather. He wears plain unassuming Jedi robes, dyed black. Appearance Face Claim • Jared Leto Height & Weight • 6'1"/175lbs Overall Looks • Abraxas is slightly tall, lean, but hardened. His hair and beard have grown in the years of self-isolation but aren’t unkempt. His eyes are the first thing people usually notice, intense and penetrating. Personality Profile Abraxas is first and foremost troubled; troubled by a need to understand the emptiness and darkness inside himself, and troubled by the dissolution of his faith in the orienting belief structure of the Jedi doctrine. He’s driven by a belief that through a much deeper understanding of the Force he can end the turmoil of light and dark within himself and hopefully find a better path of orientation than what the Jedi offered. He still carries the weight of his childhood trauma and it has caused him to have great difficulty with trusting others and a general mistrust of authority. His inner struggles along with his drive to understand the Force causes him to often seem distracted and detached as he feels more comfortable in the interior of his mind rather than focusing on the exterior world, this became a noticeable issue during the war in which his mindfulness of the present moment began to suffer. Abraxas has a deep dislike of general conversation, he’s drained by it and sees it as devoid of purpose, but revels in discussions centered around the pursuit and exchange of knowledge. He has a calm but passionate pattern to his speech and is careful to be precise in what he says. Background Father • Yaldabaoth Pronoia Mother •Sophia Sabalo (Deceased) Other Important Connections • Jedi Master Aachiaram,45 Overall History • Abraxas’s mother would know her son for a few moments in the dingy side room of the cantina that she rented before she lost consciousness and her body gave out to the stresses of the birth. His father had been but one of the many men who had benefited for a night from that woman’s life of desperation never to be heard from again. And there was Abraxas, a newborn babe without any protections or a mother’s love, in the undercity of the galactic capital—to the galaxy he now amounted to nothing more than a burden. The Twi’lek cantina owner claimed the child as recompense for the trouble that comes with a birth and a death. He kept the child for 5 years, treating him little better than a slave, subjecting Abraxas to all manner of abuse and causing the child’s first perspective of the world to be informed by tragedy, pain, fear, and anger. But managerial incompetence and pervasive gambling addiction left the Twi’lek in a tremendous need of credits. So, he sought out a less than reputable merchant, that he knew from reputation had connections to the Exchange. During the hushed discussion over price an imposing man cloaked in dark brown overheard, to the initial surprise of the two, and inquired over the legality of trading the child. After a brief challenge on the part of the merchant, the revelation of the meddler being a Jedi caused the Twi’lek to throw his arms in the air and storm away cursing the galaxy for his bad luck. Abraxas had his first bit of luck and was immediately discovered to be force sensitive. This prompted the Jedi to return with the child to his Order’s temple instead of leaving him with the district authorities, which was his intention. In the temple Abraxas would find a semblance of a home as he grew to the age of apprenticeship among the other Jedi hopefuls. But alone is where he would spend the majority of his time, something he couldn’t understand kept him reserved from the other children, something he couldn’t give voice too yet. Although the child Abraxas got along with his peers; he was kind and affable when he needed to be, deep down he could feel the barrier between them as if it was a deep chasm. A tremendous emptiness that screamed out at him desperately yearning to be filled. It was this emptiness that propelled him to differentiate himself from the others around him, to force him to try and be better than his peers. He found solace in his need to climb to the top and his thirst for knowledge of the Force. Abraxas was selected for apprenticeship by the same Jedi that had saved him from being traded. The Jedi, Master Aachiaram, was a rigid traditionalist that seemingly accepted the Jedi doctrine without question. To him there was obviously no debate to be had in relation to the Force, there was light and dark and that was the end of it and his apprentice’s increasing questions worried him. His dogmatism wasn’t born out of blind obedience though, it was from a pragmatic need for guidance. The Jedi Master had witnessed what path questions like the ones his apprentice asked led down and Abraxas would quickly learn that his questions were unwelcome and that his path to knighthood would be hindered if he continued. But the padawan was never worried, he was confident that inside he was good person, not capable of falling, and of course they were simply the intellectual curiosities of a young mind. During this time the competition inside of Abraxas grew and he channeled it into the specific study of the dueling lightsaber form Makashi. In the sparing rooms of the temple with every bested opponent he felt fulfillment. It wasn't just the insatiable need to be the best though, that drove his love of dueling. It did start out that way, admittedly, but the artistry of it gripped him and never let go. During the war, when ever down time was available, he would expand on his dueling. He studied heavily during these years from a master of form VII, to compensate for the weaknesses of form II. The trials of knighthood and the end of his tutelage under Aachiaram came quickly but with it grew a disdain for the Jedi that he continued to bury far from his conscious thought. The anxiety that he experienced the night before his trials almost drove him to flee the temple while everyone slept. Because even though he had begun to see his master as an avatar of the order, itself in all its blind assurance, he still respected the power of its leadership enough to be afraid of their penetrating intuition. But still he passed his trials and was knighted at the age of 20 and to all appeared to be capable of a promising future within the Order if he could only remain more mindful and trusting in the wisdom of those above him. It was the same year that the Sith Empire invaded Republic space. And so goes the tired story of the Sith invading while the Jedi Order argued endlessly amongst themselves, safe in their temple, as the bodies piled up around them. Abraxas’s derision grew daily. With every empty repetition of Jedi doctrine, with every call to ‘remember the code’, and to practice patience his scorn for the ineffectual Order he had made his home reached new levels. For Abraxas everything began to accelerate. With the fall of every new planet he thought more and more of the innocents who were dying or being put under the yoke of Sith oppression. And all of it preventable but for a bunch of old fools clinging desperately to tired principles so as to imagine themselves righteous while they looked away from their hands soaked in blood. Now completely disillusioned with the Order and its leadership the Jedi Knight began to question the legitimacy of the Jedi’s entire doctrine. No manner of mindfulness practice or meditation could keep the thoughts at bay now, the entire structure of his belief system had come into question and was fighting its own war in the quiet interior of his mind. Then Taris happened; after Taris had been turned into an uninhabitable wasteland only then did the Order decide to join in the defense and Abraxas was disgusted at the lengths that had to be reached for the ‘protectors of the galaxy’ to finally rise in its defense. 5 years in the field and Abraxas had felt the exhilaration that comes with purpose and with the practiced use of honed skills. War changes people though, it’s inescapable, and Abraxas couldn’t deny the change that was happening inside of him. The internal tension was becoming too much, and he felt ready to break. He knew he couldn’t fight a war against the Sith while already in deep conflict with himself, and the sensation that a fall was approaching grew with every conflict, as his love of battle and his still smoldering scorn for the leadership of the Jedi grew. So, Abraxas with his lightsaber and a few credits in his pocket deserted within the week. The details and means of his journey weren’t clear, but he did know his path was leading him outside of the Order. It brought him to Alderaan, and away from the culture and the high society scheming of Aldera, he lost himself in the Force. His dedication to meditation, contemplation, and training consumed and nourished him, but in an idyllic wood that lined the base of towering mountain his time as a hermit was coming to an end. A deeper training would begin now, his trust in the will of the Force was still strong, and that faith would be his only comfort in the days ahead. |
