Post by 10Tickler on Dec 31, 2008 14:10:25 GMT -5
This is Posted on dA, link will be provided at the End
I got Bored in Cali, read the book "Stargirl"
I Blame that
============================
How One Becomes themselves
Or, How She changed Me for the best.
My grandfather always told me that writing was the best way to express myself, he'd say, laughing as he spoke, "Never be afraid to put yourself into your words, just be careful how you say them." Looking back now, I'm amazed at how naive I was then.
I first met her at My Grandfather's funeral, she had seemed to appear out of nowhere, bending over the other Graves that dotted the half-acre of overly green grass. When she moved away from one that was fairly close, I noticed the flower that had been left on top of the headstone, yet in that moment, The Girl had disappeared. It took me weeks to realize what she had been doing, yet, by that time, she had gone, changing my life forever.
Like any normal Teenage boy, the funeral had left me with a distinctly Glum feeling, one that I couldn't help but be unable to shake away as I wandered the Streets of my small hometown later that night. I knew that he was gone, yet the words that he had always offered me, the kindly, knowing smile that glowed as I had ventured about on my path to manhood, seemed to linger in my mind, as though he refused to be forgotten. The tears that my Mother had shed at the Burial seemed to have dried a millennium ago, but for days after, she carried herself in silence.
It was the Silence that I couldn't stand, the overbearing quietness that seemed to linger, like the smoke from a thanksgiving turkey gone bad. It had driven me from my comfortable room and out into the crisp night air. Above me, the clouds in the sky seemed gray in the pale moonlight, hiding the stars from my eyes. I was sitting on a bench, the jungle gym of the local park before me highlighting the memories that I had built there.... The sprained Ankles, the scrapes and Bruises, Grandfather's ever-present smile as he Lit one of his Bent cigarettes, watching me Climb and carouse with my fellow children. It was on the bench, reminiscing, that she found me.
At first, I hadn't noticed that she had arrived, had half Fallen asleep on the bench, lost in my own thoughts, but her words awoke me to her presence. "I'm sorry" she said, "For your loss, It must have been hard." Such a Simple phrase, yet to me it seemed taunting, as though she were mocking me, this Girl that hadn't even known him, hadn't known what he was to me. Looking up in a rage, my face softened, seeing her features.
Long, blond, hair trailed down between her shoulders, tied into a loose braid and kept together with a single thread of red yarn that set off her hair. A short, button, nose stood out on her face, between worried eyes, and her mouth was pursed in thought, as though she had no idea what to say next. "It's Fine" I replied brusquely, turning away from her visage, not wanting the pity that she offered, "I'll get over it." I heard myself say vaguely. The next thing I knew, thin, bony, arms were wrapped around me, embracing me in a gentle hug. "That's true, I suppose" she offered to me, smiling softly, sniffing as she stood. "But I'm here anyways"
With that, she was gone. The seat that she had been in previously empty in a moment as she walked away, long skirt Sashaying as she moved. Without even offering her name, this Girl, whom I had just met, had Offered her kindness, then moved on. I wasn't sure what to say, who would be? Watching her move slowly, I spoke, just before she moved out of my sight. "Thanks" I said, softly, causing her to turn and Wave. "Anytime" she replied, then disappeared into the night, taking my cares and worries with her. Dumbfounded, I stood myself, looking in the Direction that she had moved, then back to the Jungle Gym. Wordlessly, I moved to it, climbing to the top with ease.
Chapter Two
When Life turns unexpectedly for the best
It had been a month since that night, since I first encountered what had been as close to perfection as any man will ever find. Despite myself, my own misgivings, I had tried to seek her out once more. Yet, for all my descriptions and questioning of Family members and Cemetery staff, not a soul had any idea who she actually was. It was disheartening, to say the least. I had taken to going back to the graveyard on nights when I felt overly restless, and sitting for hours, talking to Grandpa like nothing had changed. Sure, it was probably a rather morbid thing, but no one said anything to me about it.
I suppose that somewhere in my mind I had hoped for the best, that I would encounter her again. I frequented the park, causing several mothers to question my intentions in their worried way. In the end, anyone who asked me...I would tell them that I was just waiting for a friendly face. When the hours passed and Dusk started to fall, I'd always walk away from the park, feeling more then a little let down, the mothers shaking their heads as this became a more common sight.
After what seemed like a month, although it was only a week, Something unexpected happened to me. I had been sitting on the Large climbing...ball, I guess, and from my side, something caught my eye, a Single flower, a Dandelion was protruding from between the bars. Shaking my head, I smiled a little, looking downward, only to see her face again. "Nice day" she said, her voice chipper, causing me to smile as she hoisted herself up beside me.
The setting sun behind her gave her that appearance again, like a fallen angel, the blond hair tied into a Bun that day. Strands of it were loose, whipping singly in the wind, and when they caught a ray of Dim sunshine, they seemed to glow brighter then any Neon sign I had ever seen. "It was, I suppose" I replied to her statement, smiling weakly at her, her legs kicking in the air beneath us, as though she were trying to tread water using air. The look on her face amazed me, the sheer purity of her smile. "Every day is nice if you make it that way" she said, eyes closing and brows Furrowing in thought.
I couldn't help but chuckle, a snort really, but the effect was noticeable instantly. Lids of her eyes flying open, she looked into mine. My dark Brown met her Hazel, and we just stared for a moment, taking in all of the world around us as though our minds were cameras and we were film. It was a minute before anyone said anything, and the silence was different from before. Instead of the melancholy gloom that filled my heart at the sheer mass of silence, it wasn't quiet at all.
There are two kinds of silence, you know, each so fundamentally different from the other that it's like comparing Black and white. There's that eerie silence, when you don't hear anything, it just seems like you've gone deaf from the weight of it all. You don't want to think, you don't want to move...it's horrible. Then, there's the other kind. It's the kind that you never notice, because it's always there. However, for once in my life, I noticed it.
All around us, Children were laughing, screaming in glee as we locked gazes. Mothers scolded over-rambunctious youths, birds cried at one another, seeking a mate, defending their homes. The Grass on the ground and the leaves in the Trees sang their song as the wind blew it's last Hurrah for the day. It was in that silence that she spoke again. "You hear it?" she asked me, watching as I slowly nodded, my own shaggy hair falling around my face. "It's Beautiful" she added, "It's like the world's singing a song...a song for me, That's why All my days are good ones."
Her words dug into me, like an ice pick into a Glacier, chipping away at the hardened exterior that I had Built over the years. Shaking my head slightly, I considered correcting her, making her see the world that I saw. Looking into her eyes again, I couldn't. She was so beautiful in her innocence. So pure in her Love for everything, that was the first time that I realized, I wanted nothing to happen to this girl, I prayed in my soul that she would never change.
Seemingly sensing my change in mood, she scooted closer, opening her mouth to speak, as though about to reveal something amazing to my tarnished mind. Cutting her off, I asked the question that had been picking at me all week. "Why?" was all I said, unable to speak further due to the growing lump in my throat. Instantly, I felt bad for asking, a knot forming in my stomach at the coarseness in my tongue. Still though, she answered me. "Why not? You were sad...I don't like that."
For the second time in a week, I was stunned, amazed at the words that she spoke, at the kindness and love that hid behind the mottled brown sweater that she wore. For a moment, I was speechless, then I managed to sneak a word, half-whispered, from my mouth. "Thanks." That was it, that was all, a simple Thanks for all the effort that she had put into making my life better. I wanted to tell her that it worked, wanted to hug her back, yet, as the sun's final dying rays disappeared over the horizon, I didn't move. ]
Standing, She dropped down, between the iron hexagon that she had been balanced on, her skirt flaring up as the wind rushed past her. With a smile and A wave, she turned away, about to leave again, when my voice, unbidden by myself, stopped her. Hoarse and croaking out the words, I looked down at her, noticing the fine line of Freckles that dotted the bridge of her nose and her strong cheekbones. "What's your name?" I asked, blushing instantly, the reddish hue crossing my face comparable to the red paint that colored the iron below me.
A smile, bright white teeth between salmon-pink lips, that was the response. "It's Joan" she replied, then with that, she was gone again. Leaving me to my thoughts, leaving me to ponder.
I got Bored in Cali, read the book "Stargirl"
I Blame that
============================
How One Becomes themselves
Or, How She changed Me for the best.
My grandfather always told me that writing was the best way to express myself, he'd say, laughing as he spoke, "Never be afraid to put yourself into your words, just be careful how you say them." Looking back now, I'm amazed at how naive I was then.
I first met her at My Grandfather's funeral, she had seemed to appear out of nowhere, bending over the other Graves that dotted the half-acre of overly green grass. When she moved away from one that was fairly close, I noticed the flower that had been left on top of the headstone, yet in that moment, The Girl had disappeared. It took me weeks to realize what she had been doing, yet, by that time, she had gone, changing my life forever.
Like any normal Teenage boy, the funeral had left me with a distinctly Glum feeling, one that I couldn't help but be unable to shake away as I wandered the Streets of my small hometown later that night. I knew that he was gone, yet the words that he had always offered me, the kindly, knowing smile that glowed as I had ventured about on my path to manhood, seemed to linger in my mind, as though he refused to be forgotten. The tears that my Mother had shed at the Burial seemed to have dried a millennium ago, but for days after, she carried herself in silence.
It was the Silence that I couldn't stand, the overbearing quietness that seemed to linger, like the smoke from a thanksgiving turkey gone bad. It had driven me from my comfortable room and out into the crisp night air. Above me, the clouds in the sky seemed gray in the pale moonlight, hiding the stars from my eyes. I was sitting on a bench, the jungle gym of the local park before me highlighting the memories that I had built there.... The sprained Ankles, the scrapes and Bruises, Grandfather's ever-present smile as he Lit one of his Bent cigarettes, watching me Climb and carouse with my fellow children. It was on the bench, reminiscing, that she found me.
At first, I hadn't noticed that she had arrived, had half Fallen asleep on the bench, lost in my own thoughts, but her words awoke me to her presence. "I'm sorry" she said, "For your loss, It must have been hard." Such a Simple phrase, yet to me it seemed taunting, as though she were mocking me, this Girl that hadn't even known him, hadn't known what he was to me. Looking up in a rage, my face softened, seeing her features.
Long, blond, hair trailed down between her shoulders, tied into a loose braid and kept together with a single thread of red yarn that set off her hair. A short, button, nose stood out on her face, between worried eyes, and her mouth was pursed in thought, as though she had no idea what to say next. "It's Fine" I replied brusquely, turning away from her visage, not wanting the pity that she offered, "I'll get over it." I heard myself say vaguely. The next thing I knew, thin, bony, arms were wrapped around me, embracing me in a gentle hug. "That's true, I suppose" she offered to me, smiling softly, sniffing as she stood. "But I'm here anyways"
With that, she was gone. The seat that she had been in previously empty in a moment as she walked away, long skirt Sashaying as she moved. Without even offering her name, this Girl, whom I had just met, had Offered her kindness, then moved on. I wasn't sure what to say, who would be? Watching her move slowly, I spoke, just before she moved out of my sight. "Thanks" I said, softly, causing her to turn and Wave. "Anytime" she replied, then disappeared into the night, taking my cares and worries with her. Dumbfounded, I stood myself, looking in the Direction that she had moved, then back to the Jungle Gym. Wordlessly, I moved to it, climbing to the top with ease.
Chapter Two
When Life turns unexpectedly for the best
It had been a month since that night, since I first encountered what had been as close to perfection as any man will ever find. Despite myself, my own misgivings, I had tried to seek her out once more. Yet, for all my descriptions and questioning of Family members and Cemetery staff, not a soul had any idea who she actually was. It was disheartening, to say the least. I had taken to going back to the graveyard on nights when I felt overly restless, and sitting for hours, talking to Grandpa like nothing had changed. Sure, it was probably a rather morbid thing, but no one said anything to me about it.
I suppose that somewhere in my mind I had hoped for the best, that I would encounter her again. I frequented the park, causing several mothers to question my intentions in their worried way. In the end, anyone who asked me...I would tell them that I was just waiting for a friendly face. When the hours passed and Dusk started to fall, I'd always walk away from the park, feeling more then a little let down, the mothers shaking their heads as this became a more common sight.
After what seemed like a month, although it was only a week, Something unexpected happened to me. I had been sitting on the Large climbing...ball, I guess, and from my side, something caught my eye, a Single flower, a Dandelion was protruding from between the bars. Shaking my head, I smiled a little, looking downward, only to see her face again. "Nice day" she said, her voice chipper, causing me to smile as she hoisted herself up beside me.
The setting sun behind her gave her that appearance again, like a fallen angel, the blond hair tied into a Bun that day. Strands of it were loose, whipping singly in the wind, and when they caught a ray of Dim sunshine, they seemed to glow brighter then any Neon sign I had ever seen. "It was, I suppose" I replied to her statement, smiling weakly at her, her legs kicking in the air beneath us, as though she were trying to tread water using air. The look on her face amazed me, the sheer purity of her smile. "Every day is nice if you make it that way" she said, eyes closing and brows Furrowing in thought.
I couldn't help but chuckle, a snort really, but the effect was noticeable instantly. Lids of her eyes flying open, she looked into mine. My dark Brown met her Hazel, and we just stared for a moment, taking in all of the world around us as though our minds were cameras and we were film. It was a minute before anyone said anything, and the silence was different from before. Instead of the melancholy gloom that filled my heart at the sheer mass of silence, it wasn't quiet at all.
There are two kinds of silence, you know, each so fundamentally different from the other that it's like comparing Black and white. There's that eerie silence, when you don't hear anything, it just seems like you've gone deaf from the weight of it all. You don't want to think, you don't want to move...it's horrible. Then, there's the other kind. It's the kind that you never notice, because it's always there. However, for once in my life, I noticed it.
All around us, Children were laughing, screaming in glee as we locked gazes. Mothers scolded over-rambunctious youths, birds cried at one another, seeking a mate, defending their homes. The Grass on the ground and the leaves in the Trees sang their song as the wind blew it's last Hurrah for the day. It was in that silence that she spoke again. "You hear it?" she asked me, watching as I slowly nodded, my own shaggy hair falling around my face. "It's Beautiful" she added, "It's like the world's singing a song...a song for me, That's why All my days are good ones."
Her words dug into me, like an ice pick into a Glacier, chipping away at the hardened exterior that I had Built over the years. Shaking my head slightly, I considered correcting her, making her see the world that I saw. Looking into her eyes again, I couldn't. She was so beautiful in her innocence. So pure in her Love for everything, that was the first time that I realized, I wanted nothing to happen to this girl, I prayed in my soul that she would never change.
Seemingly sensing my change in mood, she scooted closer, opening her mouth to speak, as though about to reveal something amazing to my tarnished mind. Cutting her off, I asked the question that had been picking at me all week. "Why?" was all I said, unable to speak further due to the growing lump in my throat. Instantly, I felt bad for asking, a knot forming in my stomach at the coarseness in my tongue. Still though, she answered me. "Why not? You were sad...I don't like that."
For the second time in a week, I was stunned, amazed at the words that she spoke, at the kindness and love that hid behind the mottled brown sweater that she wore. For a moment, I was speechless, then I managed to sneak a word, half-whispered, from my mouth. "Thanks." That was it, that was all, a simple Thanks for all the effort that she had put into making my life better. I wanted to tell her that it worked, wanted to hug her back, yet, as the sun's final dying rays disappeared over the horizon, I didn't move. ]
Standing, She dropped down, between the iron hexagon that she had been balanced on, her skirt flaring up as the wind rushed past her. With a smile and A wave, she turned away, about to leave again, when my voice, unbidden by myself, stopped her. Hoarse and croaking out the words, I looked down at her, noticing the fine line of Freckles that dotted the bridge of her nose and her strong cheekbones. "What's your name?" I asked, blushing instantly, the reddish hue crossing my face comparable to the red paint that colored the iron below me.
A smile, bright white teeth between salmon-pink lips, that was the response. "It's Joan" she replied, then with that, she was gone again. Leaving me to my thoughts, leaving me to ponder.
