Mila

[Iota]

Ryloth does not have a military. Rylothian Twi'leks are either buisness men or slaves(you get the odd jedi ofcourse here and there as wel as a clan warrior). The main problem is that the bio is sloppy, its poorly written and looks like a bomb site. no offense intended, but it is my job to criticise.

There is no depth to the bio, it seems rushed. i would suggest reading some accepted bios to get a feel of what weexpect the standard to be. Also, dark jedi do not get the title of Darth, that is a sith title and she wouldn't of met any sith lords because they aren't about atm.

also paying a dark jedi to teach some one? seems abit odd.

and some one of her age wouldn't be able to catch a master jedi let alone two off gaurd, andif she some how managed to, she would be very quickly defeated.

[jonahhanoj]

I took another wack at it:


Name:Mila
Race: Twi'lek
Age: 20 (close to 21)
Height: 5'7''
Weight: 110lbs.
Appearance: (similar to Darth Talon) A red twi'lek with red eyes. She has two head tails. Her skin is coated with dark black specks.
Birth place: Ryolth

Faction: Dark Jedi
Rank: Marauder


Bio: DISCOVERED
Mila was birthed on the planet Ryolth, and a somewhat average childhood. She was given an average twi’lek name, Mie’Lah. However, at the age of 3, a visiting Jedi became strangely interested in the girl. He sensed a great Force power within her, and had her tested and took her to the temple. After Mie’Lah left Ryolth, she shortened her name to Mila

She was sad to leave and honestly didn’t know where she was going. This marked an important part in her life where she would discover true fear.

YOUNGLING

Mila, full of fear, did not fit in at the temple, or perhaps she fit in too well.

Her abilities were no greater than any other youngling and she was not recognized for any extraordinary ability and she was angered by that.

Time went fast when she was a Padawan and by the time she was 12 she was accepted as a Padawan under the same master that found her on Ryolth.

PADAWAN

Mila, still a young girl, was under high expectations from her master. However, she didn’t contain the abilities to meet these expectations.

She followed her master around, always taking note, but never truly got into the “Jedi Spirit”. She never felt the kindness and leadership of her fellow knight, and therefore never contained the skills to ultimately complete her training.

At the age of 15, Mila accompanied her master on a mission to Nar Shadda, to execute a hidden, yet threatening and well known, dark jedi. This dark jedi was pure evil. He traveled the galaxy, hunting down jedi on their missions, then capturing, torturing, and eventually killing them. However, trying to lay low as he knew he was wanted, he fled to a crowded city in Nar Shadda.

Mila’s master, being very powerful, was able to sense the presence of the Sith, and track down the dark jedi in a Cantina.

Drunk, he didn’t put up much of a fight. Mila and her master approached him. After little negotiation, the dark jedi drew out his red lightsaber, carelessly swinging it around, wounding two innocent civilians. Mila’s master quickly disarmed and executed him.

Being a well trained sith, the dark jedi’s lightsaber was personally crafted and extremely powerful. After his execution, Mila took and hid his lightsaber in her personal possessions. Mila’s master felt a great disturbance in her, however he wasn’t able to figure out what it was, at least not until it was too late.

For his actions on Nar Shadda, Mila’s master was rewarded and respected by even the powerful jedi on the High Council. He was given secret missions to perform, in which Mila could not accompany him on, therefore Mila’s training was in the hands of a knew jedi, Master Va Lakam.

Master Lakam was a little young to train a Padawan, however he was eager to exceed to mastership. Since Mila’s training was nearly complete, the council allowed Lakam to train her.

In Mila’s eyes Lakam was a bad trainer. He made poor decisions, had little experience, and Mila’s skills were often better in combat.

Lakam was asked to hunt down a minor bounty hunter in Coruscant, truly it wasn’t a hard task. However Lakam’s ignorance led him to believe he was the best jedi ever, and that this was to be an extremely hard mission.

Mila and Lakam exited to the streets of Coruscant. Mila hunted down the bounty hunter, Mila engaged him in combat, Mila deflected the bullets shot at her, and Mila defeated the bounty hunter. However, Lakam took all the credit. This angered Mila and made her hate Lakam.

With Lakam gaining respect, he and Mila were sent to Felucia on a somewhat more difficult mission. A minor republic base was facing many Acklay attacks, killing many men in the process. However this time, Mila planned to do none of the work, testing Lakam’s true abilities.

Lakam thought differently. As soon as her set foot in the base he sent Mila to take care of the problem. Mila refused, and the two got into a heated argument. In the end, Lakam drew out his blue lightsaber as if to threaten Mila, but quickly put it away, knowing he was likely to get caught and banned from the order.

Mila was infuriated; however she took something from this. It had truly never occurred to her that she might be able to take down another jedi. She had extraordinary skill and wit, and facing a fool like Lakam would be easy.

The next day, and Acklay attacked the base, and was met by Mila and this time Lakam. Lakam informed Mila to stay back, of course Mila didn’t listen charging at the beast. Lakam force pulled her back. Mila, struggling, broke free and pushed Lakam into the Acklay. The Acklay sliced Lakam’s back with its sharp feet. However, Lakam remained alive.

In an attempt to save himself, Lakam reached out for his lightsaber, which had fallen from his belt. But Mila was a step ahead of him, and quickly grabbed the saber, holding it close at hand. Lakam then attempted to control the beasts mind, and lead it away. With great concentration he got the beast to leave him alone for the moment.

Mila wasn’t about to let Lakam live though. She walked over to him, as if to help, but instead of extending a friendly hand, she extended a lightsaber. She hit Lakam at mid- torso, slicing him in half and instantly killing him. To add to his humiliation, Mila had killed Lakam with his own lightsaber.

However, Republic troops saw the actions of Mila, seeing her as a traitor (which she was), they began to shoot at her. To save her life, Mila ran into the wilderness of Felucia.

Meanwhile, at the Republic base, the troops called for another jedi reinforcement. Mila’s old master was sent to help them. He was oblivious to the fact he would have to hunt down Mila.

CORRUPTION

The troops directed the master in the direction where Mila ran. Mila hadn’t ran far. She knew someone would come looking for her, and she would have to face them no matter. She might as well have kept her energy.

The Jedi Master easily sensed a corrupted Jedi Padawan. However he was not ready for the sight he saw. Mila was waiting for him, however, unlike her former master, she was ready to face anyone. After a quick glance at him, she charged full speed, her Padawan lightsaber drawn. The master, still in awe, quickly drew out his lightsaber and blocked the attack.

“I will not face you!” he screamed.

“Then die, weak one!” replied Mila.

Not wanting to bring harm to his former Padawan, the master blocked all of Mila’s charge attacks until he was able to disarm her.

Now, Mila drew out Lakam’s saber, which the master quickly destroyed.

Mila was now left to use her force powers. Although her force skills were not strong, she had to try. However, she wanted to surprise the master with a sith move. She attempted to perform a force choke, which the master easily blocked. Then, she tried force lightning, which had no affect what so ever.

The master, realizing Mila no longer had a weapon, foolishly lowered his saber, and approached Mila, hoping to calm her. However, Mila had been storing a sith saber on her belt, which the master did not realize. As he approached her, she lifted out and turned on the saber, however she felt great pain, and did not strike.

Instead of blocking the move with his saber, the master reconciled with her:

“You will not hit me. I am your Master, and know your heart is in the Order.”

“NOOOO! My heart no longer exists!” was Mila’s reply, and with that she killed her master. She never again felt pain before or after killing someone, but rather a sense of joy.

Now Mila wanted to get revenge on the base. She stormed through the wilderness, killing all the guards between her and the base. She entered the front door, easily killing everyone in her way. She went to the control room and destroyed everything. With only 5 men remaining alive within the structure, Mila took them into captivity.

They were now her guinea pigs.

In the wilderness Mila used her prisoners to practice sith force moves. She was able to learn things such as force choke and force lightning. She was sure never to kill her prisoners, thought. Her prisoners were driven by fear to never attempt to run away or revolt against Mila.

Mila and Lakam went to the base when she was 18, she was now 2. She had killed all he prisoners, as she no longer needed them. She still lived in the Felucian wilderness. The base was not forgotten by the Jedi Order, but lost amongst the terrain of Felucian. Many jedi have attempted to find the reason for losing the base, but their missions always ended badly. However, they were determined to find it.

On that very day, Mila tested her force abilities on an Acklay. She approached one, caught its attention. Before the beast could attack it was met by a storm of lightning, burning it to a crisp, and knocking it to the ground. Mila then went and sliced his head off. She drank its blood as it poured out of its neck, a feast in her mind.

Later that day, the many jedi exhibitions to find the lost Felucian base had succeeded. They came amongst ruins in a breaking of the wilderness. However, unluckily for them, Mila spotted them searching the ruins. She was angered by this, seeing them as trespassers, and went to attack them.

The jedi were at the rank of knight and Padawan. Mila’s presence was sensed by both of them, making them alert, but they neither left nor raised their sabers.

Mila, hiding in a nearby tree, acted quickly, unleashing a force lightning storm to the back of the Jedi Knight. The knight fell to the ground, still alive, but mortally wounded. The inexperienced Padawan ran her master to receive help.

The Padawan explained Mila’s appearance to her master, who quickly recalled her as Mila, a jedi (now dark jedi) that was known to have led a mission on the base, and had been unheard of for 2 years.

This was bad news for Mila. She was now known, and wanted by the order.

To escape a bad fate, Mila fled to Nar Shadda (like the dark jedi she fought long ago) in an attempt to save herself from the order. This is where she resides today, ready to kill anyone that tries to harm or anger her.


Lightsaber: Single blade- Single Phase phase
Color: Red


Shii-Cho 4
Makashi 3
Soresu 2
Ataru 2



Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:
Force Choke
Force Lightnig



Telekinetic: 7
Telepathic: 7
Body: 4
Sense: 6
Protection: 4
Healing: 1
Destruction: 6



Attributes:

Physical Strength: 5
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 5
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 6
Melee Weapons: 6
Ranged Weapons: 2

-6

RP Sample:
A Jedi Knight stood before the Jedi Council. He was young, to young, and wanted to already train a Padawan.

“If this is the road you wish to travel, then you must prove yourself worthy. Go to Felucia, hunt down and kill a wanted dark jedi.” answered one the High Masters.

“I will prove myself worthy. However, I know nothing of this enemy. What is she like?” replied the Knight.

Then, the wisest of the masters, and the one who spoke the least raised his voice. “I fought her once. I was lucky to escape with my life. You sense a small dent in the force, and think nothing of it. That dent is Mila. Before you have time to raise your weapon, she has unleashed a force attack, or saber slash. By the time I had my saber at hand, I was cut in 5 places. Attempting to shield myself form the fate of many Jedi before me, I ran. For the first time, I found myself retreating. Mila knows the land, er saber, and the force well. A true challenge she will be.” He said.

“Nonsense!” replied the Knight, “A young, inexperienced Jedi like her making a master retreat?”

“Age means nothing of skill. She spent 2 years in solitude, improving her skill. She knows the Order, and our ways. She knows our weaknesses. However, it was I thought caused myself to lose. My over confidence blinded me, and I was defeated. Do not follow the same path I did.” responded the wise master.

With that, the Knight was put on a ship and sent to Felucia. He landed at strange ruins, although he was tempted to explore, he had a mission at hand and was determined to follow it. His escort pointed him towards an area of wilderness, and with that he set off.

He immediately sensed the “dent” the master referred to. He was quick to raise his lightsaber, ready to defend any attack.

Before he could begin to think, his saber clashed with that of a red blade. The duel had begun.

He attacked, Mila blocked, Mila attacked, he blocked, until the young Knight sought out an advantage. Realizing Mila left a part of her body unguarded, he was quick to jab her.

He was really unsure if he made contact, but Mila fell to the ground wounded. Following the Jedi way, and not attacking a harmless enemy, the Knight lowered his saber.

…big mistake…

As he approached Mila to arrest her, he was clouded in an orb of lightning. Mila had planned the entire thing. Knowing the Jedi ways and strategies, she created the ploy.

The Knight felt his skin melting, he begged for Mila to stop, but there was no rest to the pain. Within minutes he was killed. Just another Jedi defeated by Mila.