Constitutional Demise (Poem)

[Jenno]

Okay, so here I am taking a huge bounding leap out of my comfort zone with this piece. Thos of you who know me will know I'm a prose writer, poetry and myself do not mix well together. However, after a random outburst I came up with a piece that, for once, was not entirely rubbish. It's quick, it's brief, it's simple, and that's all I can really say about it. Any thoughts, comments or opinions would be much obligied.

*To be restored at a later date*

[Synth]

I was taught, at some point during my writing(s), that sometimes starting every line with cap calls forth an unrequited 'pause'. Much like a comma, line breaks, imo, are subtle and much more subliminal pauses. Playing with line breaks is called enjambment, in which you manipulate the breaks to alter the flow and rhythm of the poem.

Meanwhile, in a poem such as this I don't see the necessity to capitalize the start of every line, especially if there's already a comma in the previous line's end. It feels awkward, and while not totally wrong it doesn't seem too correct either.


Upon reading the poem a second time, I can't help but think in Papa Roach's Decompression Period, a song that played a big part in my life as a pubescent teen growing up. That's a good thing, not cause of the cheap nu'rock I used to like (lol), but 'cause it makes me relate. I can relate to this poem, and that is always good for a reader.

In a poem, the verse should be flourished and concise (imo), holding the biggest meaning and impact in the fewest words possible; not easy to grasp, but not impossible to hold. The meaning could be clear, palpable, but should not be unreachable. The Reader, like in prose, has to understand.

While I, a fellow a writer/poet/prose-er(lol), can understand the basic jist of the poem and the hidden melancholy tucked into each verse, which you carry well with a striking end at the last verse, I find it hard to totally grasp what you meant in the first two lines.


I can outline the possibilities, but it is not entirely clear. Sometimes, this can be a good thing in a poem that makes you think, meanwhile to some it might not strike such a personal chord if they can't completely understand it. Poetry doesn't have to be deep, as most people think, it doesn't have to have a meaning, purpose, and goal, as intricate as the popular romanticized myths say.

'Poetry should not be, but mean.' -

-- Archibald MacLeish, in his poem 'Ars Poetica'

- Seeing as how you write prose, and not poetry, I was surprised. It's much better than I originally intended. I honestly thought, because of the title, that the poem was a socio-political-controversial-etc type of thing. But I found it ironic when it left a bittersweet taste on my lips after I read it.


Somewhere along the way I reflect back on my own experiences. After reading this, I simply have to ask; 'Did I really love her?'