Firefly

[10Tickler]

Glowing lights, dancing through
clouds of smoke that fill this room.
Bodies packed, all sides collide.
The Beat, The Pulse, The Tune, The Vibe

An unconscious step, each move in time
The body I'm in, I don't think it's mine.
Each move that's made, ever so Sublime.
The Beat, The Pulse, The Tune, The Vibe

A throbbing motion, entering my brain
Each step they take, not one's the same.
All the moves at once, the mob's insane.
The Beat, The Pulse, The Tune, The Vibe

Individual Lives, a million and one lies
no one can look, no matter how they try
All focused on the dark, on the hundreds of Lights.
The Beat, The Pulse, The Tune, The Vibe

[Kella]

I love poetry, and this one is swell. You did a great job of capturing the mood, and communicating it through the rhythm of the poem. ;D

Because I offer constructive criticism when I can:

I'm not all that great at writing poetry, but I do have a bit of a past time reciting it. There were two kinda rough-spots as far as flow went; 'So sublime' and 'Individual lives, a million and one lies'.
As I interpret it, (key words here, X) ) the rhythm wouldn't suffer if you made it simply 'sublime'.
For 'Individual Lives, a million and one lies', you've got more syllables in this line than in any other, as well as a rather long and bumpy word (individual). Perhaps something like, 'Each a life, each a lie', might work... but eek! Imparting my artistic interpretation upon such things is a no-no. Ignore me. X)

And do not let any of the above rambling distract from the fact that you've a fine bit of poetry there. ;D I especially love the refrain... sets the heartbeat for the whole piece. ;D

Rock on.