Slaxices Venex

[Slaxices]

Name: Slaxices Venex
Age: 27 standered years
Race/Species: Zabrak
Gender:Male
Appearance:


Build: athletic
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 190 lbs
Alignment: Dark
Personality:aggressive
Occupation: soldier

Faction Affiliation: Sith Empire
Rank: Sith Knight
Commendations

Weapons: Saber-Staff
History: Early Life
I was born on Iridonia with the leader of my tribe as my father and the princess of another tribe as my mother. I was born about seven years before Anakin Skywalker. My father was joining the jedi's in battle trying to stop the sith. He died when I was only two years old by a lightsaber accedent.

When I was 10 years old I began my training as an Iridonian warrior to protect my tribe. I learned the history of the older tribes. I studied my family tree and saw that my family was part of a group of sith Zabrak that were some of the greatest sith lords.

I left my mother in pain after betting here with a vibro-blade. I left in search of a sith academy. When I heard of an academy here on Iridonia went quickly to the academy looking for a master.

Training

When I became an apprentice My master was the academy master. I was trained harshly. If I got one thing wrong I was betten with a lightwip. I was tought the form Juyo. It took me not long to master the form but was a dangerous form. He had trained me on how to use some of the basic force powers as well as force wound. I killed my master for bringing me horrible pain. I rome the galaxy for a knew and more respectful master.


As I search I had built a saber staff with a violet blade. I practice my moves as long as I have spare time. My goal is to complete my training and become a great sith lord.

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if force user add the following

Rank: Sith Knight
Master:

Force Powers: Force Speed,Telepathy,Force Pull,Force Push, Force Jump, Jedi Mind Trick.

Lightsaber: Saber Staff

Color:Violet

[Jenno]

Okay, a few things, just for the sake of speed. (Sorry if you get annoyed at me for this Xaojii, the urge overtook me).

Okay, here are a list of things you'll have to change if you're wanting your bio accepted.

1. Although you say 'Sith Knight' the term will in fact be 'Dark Jedi Knight' as the Sith in this period relates to the structure of two, as in Lord of the Sith and their apprentice. All others are considered Dark Jedi, so please alter your rank.

2. The writing style for this website is third person, and it may be best if you alter your bio accordingly because even though you may (uncertain if you are actually allowed to or not) be allowed to write your character's biography in first person it helps make the mods more comfortable to see you writing in third person from the off.

3. The bio itself is lacking the facts from the current story/time line. For instance, this is set a long time before the birth of Anakin and he has no relevance to the story. Also, Iridonia doesn't have any kind of Sith/Dark Jedi temple on it so the training phase of your history would need a different location.

4. If you are going for the rank of Dark Jedi Knight, then there are somethings that need alter, the first being that you no longer require a master if you have gained that rank, if anyone needs a master then they would be at the Dark Jedi Apprentice level. If you are pursuing the Knight rank, you would also need to make your biography longer and would need to include a Roleplay sample to accompany your character application so we can make sure your writing ability is sufficient enough to roleplay at the Knight level.

Just a side note, you might want to run a spell check and also expand on the personality. I hope this helps to make your character application better suited. I look forward to seeing you rp here.

(gets ready to be beat down upon by Xaojii?)

[Jenno]

Moved to Incomplete Profiles.