Say'ler Dek

[hanako]

Faction:Republic
Department:Navy-Star Fighter Command
Rank:Chief Petty Officer

Name:Say'ler Dek (pronounced say-leer deck)
Race:Human
Age:26
Height:5'11"
Weight:124lb
Appearance:A Tall lean Female with striking features that easily attract men. Bright Blue eye accent her strawberry blonde hair. She has a modest build, a flat, toned stomach, long slender legs, and almost an hour-glass waist line. Hidden under her clothes are several tattoos. A Religious symbol of arcane purpose rests on her upper back, a former lover's name (Bel Feraner) is set considerably lower on her back, it would normally be hidden by uniform trousers. A third Tattoo is the Cor-Sec crest on her left arm. While not very muscular in appearance, she works out daily and is incredibly fit.
Birth place:Correlia

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 4
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 5
Leadership: 4

Unarmed: 3
Melee Weapons: 3
Ranged Weapons: 6

Alignment: +6

Bio:Born on Correlia to poor parents, she grew up in the heat of gang wars over the very ground her home was built on. She grew to hate the inner city crime, but later events would lead her down a noble path. Even during raging gang wars, Say'ler never shied away from going to school. Her tenacity didn't always reflect in her grades, but all her instructors praised her dedication. Her first Tattoo came when she turned 13. It was a gift to show her passing into young adulthood as the arcane religion her family followed mandated. Unfortunately, Say'ler never held any stock in any form of religion at all. The only thing that let her accept the design being printed into her skin was that the tight, narrow lines that made up the knotted figure interested her. When she was 14, her mother was gunned down in a drive-by from a gang rival to the one that claimed the area as their turf. Say'ler was hit hard by her mothers death, and decided instantly she would bring her murders to justice. She studied hard and finished school at the top of her class. She would go on to join the Cor-Sec academy. Cor-Sec would be the first true challenge of her life. The beggars and muggers of the city were gone, only to be replaced by the most competitive people she would ever meet. While in the Academy, she would meet her soul mate. Bel Feraner. The two shared a passionate love life until Bel fell into one of the rougher crowds at the academy. Soon Bel would begin to get in more and more trouble around the academy. Say'ler eventual put hewr own career on the line by defending him when accused of a petty theft(which he did commit). That evening the two would fight and return to their dorms in fury. The next morning ,Bel would be found dead. He had been beaten to death by three of his supposed friends when he stood up to their robbing of an elderly man just off campus. Say'ler never forgave herself for some of the things she had said to Bel just before his death, and to this day she wishes that he were still here, but for the most part she buried her emotions in the piles of work that the academy provided. While she struggled at first, she grew into a wonderful cadet, graduating in the top 10%. In between her graduation and joining Cor-Sec, she would get her second tattoo in a place she didn't expect another man to ever see. Bel's name is inked in beautiful script in such a way as to remind her of their love instead of his fall. She would go onto join the crime prevention unit in Cor-Sec that covered the area she grew up in. While she lacked the tools to investigate her mother's murder, she took to the work in grim enthusiasm. Her goal was to make sure no other child would ever have to live through losing their parents to senseless violence. With in five years she made it to the Gang crimes unit, where she would stay for several months until she managed to track down her mother's killers. The investigation into her mother's killers lead her to several arrests among two of the largest still active gangs in the area. The Two directly responsible for the shooting had holed up together in a fortified apartment the gang had been using as a safe house. In the assault, Say'ler took a shot to the gut, but nonetheless made the arrests herself. This action got her the Meritorious Achievement Medal, Cor-Sec's third highest decoration for officers. Afterwords she accepted a promotion to inspector and joined the Narcotics team in Cor-Sec. Here she would find her true love; Flying. The small unarmed snub-fighters the narcotics team used thrilled her to no end. Even though she had an impressive resume for her career, she left Cor-Sec to Join the Republic Navy as a Fighter pilot. Just before leaving, she got her final tattoo on her left arm. The Green and white lightning bolt of the narcotics team in front of the Cor-Sec crest would forever remind her how far she'd come in her pursuit of justice, and would continue to push her through he life to do whats right. Predictably she absorbed Naval training easily, passing through as just another pilot among the thousands being recruited to empower the Republic in the wake of a long and deadly war, and in the shadow of a new and growing threat. Now she sits a Chief Petty officer and combat veteran in between unit rotations and being observed for promotion candidacy.

RP Sample:
Say'ler Dek closed her eyes and relished the complete freedom she had at her finger tips. a nudge here would send the snub fighter veering to the left, a touch of the foot peddle and a bump like so could be a snap roll. What ever she could imagine, she could do. A squeak over her taccom brought her out of her daydreams as the captain asked for a report. she sighed and thumbed her transmitter. "All clear here sir, nothing but dead vacuum and dust."
"I copy that six, patrol grid seven two and return to base."
"I copy group lead, six out."
She moves her fighter over steadily, almost lazily on a new vector. This region of space was a dead zone, but it was a tactical back door to the core worlds. atleast a squadron was left to patrol the area at all times. It was boring work, and most pilots hated it, but Say'ler loved the ability to fly freely and not being shot at in the process. Once on her new patrol vector, she looked down on her scanners to find nothing in the vicinity. A smile swept across her face. "All clear Group lead, coming around and heading home."
"I copy six, taking the scenic route again?" The group commander's voice betrayed the comment more as a statement than a question.
"Yes sir, ETA in four-five."
"I copy Six, don't make me send a scout out to get you. Report to the briefing room at HQ, Your being transferred back to the front."
Say'ler smiled half heartedly. She loved the sense of freedom here in this empty sector of space, but like any other pilot she had the insatiable need to test herself in combat. "I copy, see you at base, Six out." She turned her comm off to everything but emrgency channels and began a lazy pattern of flips a rolls as she angled towards the base. As much as she hated the cost of battle, she couldn't wait to have it surrounding her once again.

[sparrow]

When it comes to bios, the mods here love detail. For example, you skip fourteen years of her life from when she is born to when her mom is killed. Try filling some of that in. What was she like as a child? If she did nothing ordinary and just went to school like a normal kid, then say so. Also, you could go into more detail surrounding the mission where she apprehends her mom's killers, as well as her training. Another good area where you could add some details is how she got her tattoos.

[hanako]

thanks, good points.

-modified to incorporate more info in the bio.-

[10Tickler]

I'm not anything NEAR being a Mod, so don't listen to me if you don't want to, I won't be offended.

However, In your Bio, it says that:
a: she's a CPO assigned to a Command duty station.
b: she has a 7 in Ranged weapons.
c: that's she's twenty-six and had a Rank equivalent to that of a Detective.

This brings a few issues to my mind, really. The first being, How'd she reach that kind of a rank so FAST? Second, What's she doing going into a Command post as a CPO, where she'd likely be assigned to filing paperwork and being a General Desk Jockey? One would think that with her Experience in CorSec that she'd be put on MP, or in command of some Kind of Domestic Terror Prevention Unit. Not serving in a Room where Fighter Jocks are told which ship to get on.

Also, I can see, due to the CorSec service, maybe a 5 in Ranged weapons, but she's left that, and Technically, due to rank and duty station, she'd be behind a desk...not much time to practice your shooting, and not much reason to do it with anything other then a handgun of some sort.


Just some thoughts and questions tho.

[Cavalry King]

Not a Mod.

I don't have much helpful advice other than to use paragraphs to space out your Bio and Rp Sample. Put a space between different parts.

I said "x"

Other words.

Makes it just nicer to read.

[hanako]

May 9, 2009 4:56:08 GMT -5 10Tickler said:

I'm not anything NEAR being a Mod, so don't listen to me if you don't want to, I won't be offended.

However, In your Bio, it says that:
a: she's a CPO assigned to a Command duty station.
b: she has a 7 in Ranged weapons.
c: that's she's twenty-six and had a Rank equivalent to that of a Detective.

This brings a few issues to my mind, really. The first being, How'd she reach that kind of a rank so FAST? Second, What's she doing going into a Command post as a CPO, where she'd likely be assigned to filing paperwork and being a General Desk Jockey? One would think that with her Experience in CorSec that she'd be put on MP, or in command of some Kind of Domestic Terror Prevention Unit. Not serving in a Room where Fighter Jocks are told which ship to get on.

Also, I can see, due to the CorSec service, maybe a 5 in Ranged weapons, but she's left that, and Technically, due to rank and duty station, she'd be behind a desk...not much time to practice your shooting, and not much reason to do it with anything other then a handgun of some sort.


Just some thoughts and questions tho.

i understand where your coming from, i guess i really didn't explain it, but she is in-between units at the moment and is at command awaiting her new assignment. As for the other things, maybe 7 is high, i dunno, not much to go on besides that 10 is "godlike" i wish the would have explained the ratings a little better, i'll change it though if it seems high, but if you go off canon, Corellians have an almost natural affinity for blasters (in my opinion anyways xD) Anyways, my basis for the decision was she's better than average, but not the best, which in my mind falls in the 6-8 range, but once again, not familiar with the scale >.>

Maybe i did kinda of rush her positions as well, i didn't want to make her too old because wars are lead by the old and fought by the young. plus on a planet where corruption is an everyday fact, i could see a truly devoted officer obtaining a high rank fairly quickly. any ways, more notes to jog down and things to tweek, thanks for the advice.

[sparrow]

I've noticed that a lot of sniper characters have an 8 for their ranged ability, so that's a point of reference that I use when judging that stat. Of course, the numbers aren't absolute; it's not a "I have an eight and you only have a seven so I win" kind of deal.

[10Tickler]

no, wars are Started by REMF's who have nothing better to do and Fought by the best trained men and women. I have a Spec-ops Master Sergeant who's pushing 25 I do believe, and the only reason he's that high in rank is Experience. Sergeants are the Field officers who do all the work, while the LT's take all the Glory.

Quoting Wikipedia:

Advancement into the Chief Petty Officer grades is the most significant promotion within the enlisted naval ranks. At the rank of Chief, the Sailor takes on more administrative duties... Chief Petty Officers serve a dual role as both technical experts and as leaders, with the emphasis being more on leadership as they progress through the CPO ranks. A recognized, collateral duty for all Chiefs is the training of Junior Officers. Like Petty Officers, every Chief has both a rate (rank) and rating (job, similar to an MOS in other branches). A Chief's full title is a combination of the two. Thus, a Chief Petty Officer, who has the rating of Gunner's Mate would properly be called a Chief Gunner's Mate.[4]

Each rating has an official abbreviation, such as QM for Quartermaster, BM for Boatswain's Mate, or FC for Fire Controlman. When combined with the petty officer level, this gives the short-hand for the chief's rank, such as BMC for Chief Boatswain's Mate. It is not uncommon practice to refer to the chief by this short hand in all but the most formal correspondence (such as printing and inscription on awards). Mostly, though, they are simply called "Chief," regardless of rating.

What this says, is that the CPO is the Navy's version of a Command Sergeant, Doing all of the Officer's work, passing along orders and Specializing in various duties aboard a ship.

also, The Ranks for Status tend to go like so

1 = Pitiful weakling, in strength = bedridden, in Speed = slightly above immobile, in leadership = can't ask where the bathroom is and get a good answer.

10 = God. Able to Lift a truck, Can run faster then a Vronskyr, Can gather crowds of people to them and LEad them against the Universe itself.

In Weapons/Combat stats, it works out kinda similar, but a little different.

a '1' in Ranged weapons means that their shots are just as likely to hit themselves, a '5' means that about 3/6 shots will hit in the Center mass, causing an injury that could potentially be fatal (Mind you, that's talking Single shot, Automatic? WHOOOOO that'd be crazy) a 10 would be the ability to put a bullet in one ear and out the other 100% of the time, it'd be shooting the Burning end of a Deathstick off.

Like Sparrow said, snipers tend to have an 8, but REALLY, that's with a scoped weapon that they've specialized in. If your character's had a more general training, then a 4-6 would be more then sufficient, ESPECIALLY considering that she's a Fighter Jock/former Detective. Melee is like Grabbing a bat and Bonking someone. Apply the Ideals above to that. Unarmed determines how good the person is at Grappling, Wrestling, Boxing and MMA.


To give you a good idea of what it should KIND OF look like (Again, living conditions and whatnot were different for these two characters) I'll show you my Military Guy's Stats, and explain them

Physical Strength: 6
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 4
Leadership: 5

Unarmed: 6
Melee Weapons: 4
Ranged Weapons: 7

Strength: Being Human, there's only so strong one can be, Damien's Built like a Tank, and a 6 reflects that well, he's in good Physical condition.

Speed: He's bigger, bulkier, slower. that's just how it works.

Leadership: Damien's a Squad-level leader. He really doesn't need much more then a 5 to command 6-10 soldiers.

Unarmed: a six fits here, mainly because of the fact that he's strong, and he's had Basic and SpecFor training.

Melee: Again, where I have higher stats, I also have lower stats. Punching and Shooting leave little time for Stabbing practice.

Ranged: Damien is a Soldier, a Soldier's only as good as he is with his gun(s) Damien's gooood.

[hanako]

Thanks for all the input guys, i'm still working out a few qwirks with her story, but other than that i'm good to go.

[10Tickler]

+6 on the Alignment scale means that you're REALLY devoted to the whole idea of "Be nice to people, don't do anything bad, serve the republic" idea

[Darksword]

*********Not a MOD************
(Don't have to listen to me if ya don't want to.)

Alright well theres a few flaws in here the mods will want straightened out IMMEDIATELY, though this bio has much promise.

#1 Why does she have a 7 in intelligence? That's about the intelligence a scientist or weapons developer would have, such as my guy Nalar Queyan. I don't see her going into schooling heavily, unless she got a much better education in mathematics, science, etc at the Academy. If so, say it in the bio. Otherwise, I would maybe lower that a point.

#2 I recommend you break your bio and RP Sample into several paragraphs, its hard to read the way it is and mods appreciate it when its broken down.

#3 My final piece of advice. If you followed #1, I would recommend you put that point into speed. It would be useful for your charecter as she is a combat pilot, which requires fast reflexes and thinking, and it also would be believable.

Anyways thats all I got for ya. You don't have to listen to me if ya don't want to, or you can. If I misunderstood something in your bio, I apologize. Ta-ta!

P.S. Detail in bio's, is EVERYTHING! You can never put too much detail into a bio. Bye!

[Jenno]

Moved to Inactive Incomplete.