Kento Galen

[kentogalen]

Faction: Mandalorian Military
Department: Special Ops
Rank: Captain

Name: Kento Galen
Race: Human
Age: 22
Height: 5’9”
Weight: 179 lbs
Appearance: Brown hair down shoulder length, Blue and green Mandalorian armor, blue eyes, tan skin, and fairly muscular.
Birth place: Coruscant

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 6
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 7.5
Leadership: 8.5

Unarmed: 5
Melee Weapons: 3
Ranged Weapons: 8

Alignment: 4

Bio: Kento was born on the busy planet of Coruscant and lived with his two parents. When he was 9, a on the run criminal broke into his home and killed his parents but, he had hidden. Kento then snuck up on the man and knocked him out using a nearby pan. Then, a Mandalorian bounty hunter who was after him came in and took the lowlife and noticed the boy who had the guts to take him even though he had killed his parents. The bounty hunter brought him to Concord Dawn and began his training to become a Mandalorian. He trained long and hard until he became a full fledged Mandalorian and had constructed his own armor which he then painted Blue and Green. He joined the Mandalorian army and joined special OPS and made his way to captain leading a small squad.

RP Sample: Kento took off his helmet and looked at the nearby battle front. The enemy was advancing and he was out numbered. He barked some orders and instructed everyone to plant mines and detpacks. His plan was to blow up the front row and then block off their passage with boulders. This would stop them from advancing and leave them as open targets. “Set up some sniper posts!” he ordered his men. He sent a scout to estimate the amount of enemy soldiers. Kento then took out his blaster rifle out and got ready for the battle to come.

[Dire Wolf]

I would like to start off by saying this bio + RP sample are both far too short. Look at accepted bios to see just how long they will need to be. There really isn't much to say;

You skip the first nine years of his life, as well as the next thirteen. Remember: We want detail here in our bios, surely something important happened during the time that you skipped over. If not, then give us examples as to why he acts the way that he does... the teen years are very important for this.

As far as the stats go:
I Don't see anything in the bio to support a 7 or an 8 in speed or leadership, and an 8 in ranged. The general rule of thumb is that if a stat is above a 6 it must be explained in the bio.

Expand the bio (alot), add detail, and post here when you are done.

[Darksword]

************Not a MOD*******************

Hello there, just here to give a little advice if you want it.

#1 As Dire Wolf has said above me, you NEEEEEEED to put much much more detail and such into your bio and RP sample. Their Way way too short. You need lots of detail, especially for how your attributes and rank are, which I'll get to next.

#2 Rank..... No, just no. Currently from what you've written in your bio, it doesn't say anything on how he got to be a Captain, or even the lower ranks. You'll be needing to make a nice long bio on his life, how he was able to even get that promotion at such a young age (as you don't become a Captain till like your 30's usually, unless you can explain in your bio).

#3 Attributes. Well you need to explain how he has a 8.5 in Leadership. He can't have it just like that, he needs to practice and train for it, and you need a detailed bio stating how he got that. Also, his speed is a bit much, so you may wanna take a point or two out of that unless ya can explain how he got that. Physical Strength and Intelligence seem fine.

#4 Appearance. Your gonna need more then just a single sentence on his appearance. You'll probably want a small paragraph and a picture for his armor.

Well theres my advice, take it or leave it. Hope it was helpful, talk to ya later.

P.S. Detail in a bio, is EVERYTHING!!! Talk to ya later! Bye.

[Jenno]

Moved to Inactive Incomplete.